The goblins around him laughed as Sam tried not to freak out. Jareth had been watching Dean for a while, only stopping to change from one hideous shirt into another black low cut one. Weirdly, even in the dark of the seemingly endless tunnels, they had still been able to see what was going on. Sam had almost shouted a warning to Dean when they had seen the creature preparing to ambush him, and he'd felt like loudly proclaiming to all in hearing, "That's my brother," when Dean had managed to get out of the situation relatively unscathed.
"Shut up!" Jareth yelled. There was quiet, the goblins looking at him expectantly. "He should have given up by now." Jareth raised his eyes to look accusingly at Sam.
"What did you expect?" Sam said, raising an eyebrow. "Dean won't give up, ever."
"Won't he?" Jareth asked, quietly. "The dwarf will lead him back to the beginning. He'll soon give up when he realises he has to start all over again." His voice rose on the last words and he finished off with a laugh. "Well, laugh," he said disgustedly. The goblins obeyed his orders and he threw the crystal ball into the air, laughing the loudest of them all.
"Come on, Dean," Sam muttered, glancing at the clock. Three hours and seventeen minutes. He really didn't want this to be his eternity.
Dean rubbed his forehead tiredly. "Today is just not my day."
There was a bitter chuckle in the blackness. "Not mine, either." He heard footsteps and a match flared to brightness, lighting a candle. The voice belonged to a dwarf with a lined face, dressed in a hodge-podge of clothing.
"Hoggle?" Dean said with some surprise.
"I see my reputation has preceded me," Hoggle replied bitterly as he limped over and sat down on a large rock.
Dean looked around the cavern they were in. There was something that glittered in the rock that made up the walls and there were chains and cobwebs hanging down from the roof. The only exit or entrance appeared to be the way he'd made his entrance. He sat down on a nearby rock that was high enough to be semi-comfortable and pulled the knife out of his boot.
"Now, hang on, hang on," Hoggle said, putting his abnormally large hands out in front of his abnormally large face. "I didn't do nothing to you."
"Did I say you did?" Dean dragged his knife across the bottom of his t-shirt and cut a long strip off. He turned to look at his arm, grimacing at the rows of deep scores that tapered off into gashes. "You wouldn't happen to have any alcohol or boiled water, would you?" Hoggle just stared at him. "Of course not." There wasn't much he could do other than bind the wound to stop the sluggish bleeding and protect it from getting further gunk in it. He'd be very lucky if he came out of this experience without sepsis. "Hey, you want to give me a hand?" Dean gestured at his arm, and after a minute of staring at him with distrust, Hoggle got up and slowly shuffled over to him.
He stopped a foot away from Dean and gestured to the knife. "I'm not coming any closer," he said petulantly. "Not until that's gone."
Dean pointedly put the knife back inside his boot and his hands up in the air, demonstrating that he was unarmed, before resting his arms on his knees. He would kill for some painkillers right now.
"Hmph." Hoggle trotted forward the few steps needed and took the strip of material off him, before poking at the wound. "Hmph," he said again.
"Hey!" Dean jerked his arm away defensively. "That hurts!"
"Serves you right," Hoggle replied with derision. "Stupid human trying to take on The Blinding Eye."
"Yeah, well, this stupid human kicked The Blinding Eye's ass."
Hoggle wound the strip of cloth around Dean's arm and tied it awkwardly, his large hands getting in the way. "Oh, Mister big bad human, killing The Blinding Eye." He made a disgusted noise. "You don't impress me." Hoggle gave a final wince-inducing tug on the makeshift bandage before trudging back to his seat.
"Thanks," Dean said sourly. "So, how do we get out of here?"
"I suppose you've noticed there ain't no doors, only the hole." Hoggle gestured around. "This is an Oubliette. Labyrinth's full of them. They're places you put people to forget about them. Like me, thanks to that Sarah girl."
Dean shook his head in puzzlement, finally fully focussed on what Hoggle was saying. "Wait a minute, Sarah was real?"
"Of course she was real! I'm down here, ain't I? Wouldn't be down here if it wasn't for her." Hoggle hopped down off the rock. "Now, what you've got to do is get out of here." He walked over to the candle, his back to Dean. "And it so happens that I know a shortcut out of the whole Labyrinth from here."
Dean huffed in annoyance. "You really think that I'm just going to give up and leave? What, is his lord tight-pants is going to finally let you out of here if you lead me back to the beginning?"
"Well, yes."
Dean pulled the knife out of his boot and casually flipped it around in his hand. A pair of eyes followed him nervously as he stood up. "How about you help me through the Labyrinth and I don't kill you."
Hoggle backed up a few steps as Dean stalked forward, before standing his ground, large hands on small hips. "How about you give me that ring, then I'll…" He coughed nervously as Dean brandished the knife threateningly. "I guess I'll take you as far as I can. Then you're on your own."
Hoggle shuffled over to one corner of the cavern and moved aside some pots and pans to reveal a wooden door on the ground. He attached it to the wall and opened it to the right, to reveal a passageway.
"Come on, then."
Dean followed Hoggle out into a roughly carved passageway. There were several tunnels branching at the point where they had entered it. All were well-lit, which was a relief. No Blinding Eyes here.
"This way," Hoggle said, walking forward and ignoring all the other passageways.
"DON'T GO ON!"
Dean jumped and looked around at the deep voice, finally seeing the carved rock 'face' that moved with the words. He followed Hoggle, who ignored the faces around him.
"GO BACK WHILE YOU STILL CAN."
"THIS IS NOT THE WAY!"
The staring eyes were starting to freak him out a little. They followed him with their stony gaze – both literally and figuratively – as he walked past.
"TAKE HEED, AND GO NO FURTHER."
"BEWARE!"
They turned a corner into a corridor that looked more man-made than the one they had been in. The walls had been built rather than just roughly carved out of the surrounding rock.
"SOON IT WILL BE TOO LATE."
That last one sounded scarily like Dr Claw on Inspector Gadget.
"Ahh," Hoggle dismissed with a wave. "Don't pay any attention to them. Them's just false alarms; you get a lot of them in the Labyrinth. Especially when you're on the right track."
"OH, NO YOU'RE NOT," the face next to them said as dirt fell out of its mouth.
"Shut up," both Hoggle and Dean replied at the same time.
"SORRY, JUST DOING MY JOB."
"Well, you don't have to do it to us," Hoggle replied testily.
"BEWARE, FOR THE-"
"For pete's sake, just shut up!" Dean shouted.
"OH, PLEASE, I HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO SAY IT IN SO LONG," the stern face pleaded in an English accent.
"No," Dean replied firmly, stepping past it.
"I HOPE YOU DIE."
"Yeah, you too, brick-breath."
They turned another corner and what looked a lot like the clear crystal that Jareth had shown him rolled along the floor.
"Oh, crap," Dean muttered.
"We have to go this way! There's no other way out," Hoggle exclaimed, as they both rather stupidly followed the ball. It rolled to a stop in front of a grinning Jareth. Somehow Dean wasn't surprised to see that he had changed to another tight 'my eyes, they burn!' ensemble.
"Your majesty, such a nice surprise," Hoggle exaggerated. "And before you ask, I'm not helping him; I'm taking him back to the beginning."
Dean glared at Hoggle, unsure whether Hoggle was telling Jareth the truth or not.
"Heggle."
"Hoggle," Hoggle quickly corrected.
"If I thought for one second," Jareth slowly said, holding a finger up, "that you were betraying me, I'd be forced to suspend you head first into the Bog of Eternal Stench." He walked forward, forcing Hoggle to back up.
"Was that meant to be intimidating?" Dean asked, leaning nonchalantly back against the wall. "Because that wouldn't scare a ten year old girl at a slumber party."
"Well, then, Dean." Jareth turned towards him, a smug smile on his face and mojo at full strength. Dean raised an eyebrow in reaction. "How are you enjoying my Labyrinth?"
"It's a piece of cake," Dean dismissed, his voice loaded with arrogance. He'd never dealt well with smugly-smiling psychopathic megalomaniacs.
Hoggle groaned and covered his face with his hand. "Humans, they never learn."
"Really? Then how about we up the stakes, mmm?" Jareth turned and pointed to a gold clock that had just appeared. The minute and hour hand turned until he had two hours and three minutes left.
Dean kept his mouth shut, not wanting Jareth to take any more time off for his smart remarks. His dad had always said that running off at the mouth would get him into trouble one day. Of course, he was probably talking about the local cops who were trying to figure out who had blown up Pa Kettle's barn rather than goblin royalty with a package that would make a porn star proud.
"So, the Labyrinth's a piece of cake?" Jareth said disdainfully, turning and walking to the entrance of one of the tunnels. Dean itched to pull his knife out and throw it at Jareth's back, but who knew what would happen to Sam if he killed Jareth now.
Turning to face Dean, Jareth continued, "Well, let's see how you deal with this little slice." He brought his hands up in front of his chest, crossed at the wrists, to reveal another crystal ball cradled in his hold. With a conceited smirk, he whirled around and threw the crystal down the tunnel, before vanishing.
There was a dull roar in the distance that sounded scarily familiar to Dean, and then he could see water rushing down the tunnel, waves falling over the top of each other and foam kicking up.
"Run!" he shouted to Hoggle, before taking his own advice. He could hear Hoggle's gravelly, whinging voice behind him above the roar of the water. Glancing back to check how close the water was ended up being a bad idea. He couldn't run any faster and the water was almost on top of him – it was never fun to know just how close you were to dying. It was already swirling around Hoggle's middle, making it hard for the dwarf to run. Dean looked to both sides, hoping to see some way they could exit the main tunnel. Finally spotting what looked like a large sealed up door, Dean stopped and kicked as hard as he could. It moved slightly, dust billowing into the air as the water started to swirl around his ankles. He looked back down the corridor to see that the water was almost upon him. Hoggle was being pulled along by the flow, his head only just above water.
Dean kicked out twice, as hard as he could, and the door groaned before falling forward and shattering in the chamber behind it. The water hit Dean hard in the legs and he snagged Hoggle's floating form before diving into the side room. There was a ladder in the middle of the room and he aimed for it as the water increased, pulling Hoggle below the surface and forcing Dean to half swim. Dean's head went under the water with a particularly strong wave, and he kicked with his legs, unwilling to let go of Hoggle, who was pulling him down. When he surfaced, he was next to the ladder. He wrapped his arm and leg around the rungs and hauled Hoggle's dead weight, hoping that he hadn't been under the water for too long. The dwarf spluttered and coughed, to Dean's relief.
"Grab on!" Dean yelled.
The water was still rising and they needed to climb as high as they could to stay out of danger. Hoggle finally let go of Dean and grabbed hold of the ladder, allowing Dean to untangle his body and start climbing. His clothes and boots were soaked, his arm was burning from all the activity, and the water was pulling at him, making it hard to drag his weight up. He tiredly moved up the rungs as the water rose, periodically checking to make sure that Hoggle was following him. They'd climbed above the roof of the chamber into what must be an access tunnel, the water still following them. Dean reached up to grasp the next rung and it snapped in his hand, the wood hitting Hoggle on the head and splashing into the water. Dean wobbled for a few moments on the ladder, his injured arm taking all his weight, before regaining his balance.
"This should lead to the surface," Hoggle shouted up to him. "If we don't drown first. You sure got his attention!"
Dean looked up and, sure enough, the tunnel ended and there was some sort of covering over it.
"Hurry!" Hoggle called from just below his legs as he pushed on the metal blocking his way. It didn't budge.
"It's not moving!" He looked down – the water was lapping at Hoggle's ankles – before wrapping his legs around the side of the ladder in a repeat of his move at the bottom of it. The extra space on the ladder allowed Hoggle to climb further up until he was beside Dean's legs. Dean let go of the ladder, and pushed with both arms, his muscles straining. He felt the cover move slightly as the water lapped at his ankles. Bracing himself further, he pushed as hard as he could and the cover finally moved. He lifted it off to the side and climbed as quickly as he could out of what turned out to be an empty flowerpot. Hoggle jumped down beside him and Dean hurriedly replaced the cover, making sure to jam it down tight. A thin trickle of water leaked out the side and then there was nothing.
Dean looked briefly around, before collapsing next to a hedge. Hoggle sat down beside him. There were hedges all around, acting as the walls, a giant sundial, other empty flowerpots and statues made out of what looked like sandstone.
"I quit," Hoggle tiredly said. "You're on your own."
Dean glared at him, but wasn't too surprised by the statement. "I just saved your life."
"You put me in that danger in the first place," Hoggle replied, pointing a finger at him. "You've got to understand my position. I'm a coward, and you scared me. But Jareth scares me more."
"Well, Jareth soon won't be a problem," Dean said, wincing as he looked at the blood streaked and water soaked bandage and the blood smeared elsewhere on his arm.
"You wouldn't be so brave if you'd ever smelt the bog of eternal stench. If you put a foot in it you'll smell bad for the rest of your life. It'll never wash off. Until Jareth is gone, I'm not helping you anymore." Hoggle crossed his arms and turned away slightly from Dean.
"Before you stop helping me, would you help me change the bandage on this?" Dean said, exasperated. "I don't see how Jareth could object to that."
"I suppose not," Hoggle replied cautiously.
Dean carefully stripped out of the sopping wet t-shirt and wrung as much of the water out as he could, before cutting another length off the bottom of it. Putting the t-shirt back on turned out to be a bit of a trial, as it kept on sticking to his body, but he eventually got it settled back into place. He shivered as the material cooled his skin and handed Hoggle the piece of cloth.
Unlike the first time that Hoggle bandaged his arm, this time the dwarf was careful. He mopped up the blood along the rest of Dean's arm with the original soaked bandage and then carefully tied the new one in place.
"There," he finally said. "That's all I'm doing, human."
"Dean," Dean said. "My name is Dean." He held out his hand. "And thank you, Hoggle." He was almost surprised to find that his tone was sincere.
Hoggle stepped back from his hand, raising his own in front of himself in reaction. "Now, don't go and try any of that 'friends' stuff with me. I'm not falling for it again. You're on your own."
With that, the dwarf hurried over to the edge of one of the hedges and disappeared from sight.
Dean closed his eyes for a few seconds and sighed. He was sore, soaked to the skin and hungry. His stomach had decided that his throat had been cut and gone into lockdown. Sitting still for a few minutes or hours sounded like heaven, but he had less than two hours to find his brother.
He wearily climbed to his feet, using the hedge as a support. Cool air hit his stomach and he reflexively pulled his t-shirt down, only to discover that it wouldn't pull down. He'd cut enough of it off that he had a bare midriff, which would probably seem like an invitation to the quite likely swinging-both-ways Goblin King.
"So not my day," he muttered.
The castle was visible off in the distance, closer than it had been before. However, it still wasn't obvious as to which way would be the best way to go.
A low groaning noise came from off to his left and a little old man with a very interesting hat shuffled into view. His robes dangled on the ground as he walked, coming close to tripping him up, and he settled on a sandstone throne with a moan.
"Hey," Dean said, standing in front of the throne and unable to resist the temptation, "did you know that you have a human on your ass?"
The old man's big eyes focussed on Dean, and his hat – some sort of bird's head on a very long neck – focussed its beady eyes on him as well. The twin gazes were unnerving.
"Oh, a young man." The man's large drooping moustache moved considerably as he spoke and the bird-hat made a rude noise. "What can I do for you?"
"I can't believe I'm going to ask this," Dean muttered to himself. "It's not like he's actually going to help."
"Speak up, young man!"
Dean took a deep breath. "What the hell," he said. "Can you help me get to the castle at the centre of the Labyrinth?" he asked loudly, trying to ignore the fact that the hat was giving him the evil eye.
"Ah," the old man pontificated and the hat repeated. "Eh?" The old man looked puzzled for a second and the hat looked down at him. "Oh, yes. Huh. You want to get to the castle?"
The hat rolled its eyes. "How's that for brain power, huh?"
The old man looked up and glared. "Be quiet!"
"Oh, nuts," the hat replied, looking off to the side in disgust.
Dean smirked. You had to love a talking, smart-ass hat.
"So, young man, the way forward is sometimes the way back," the old geezer said rather pompously, like he was announcing the answer to the oldest question in the universe.
"Will you listen to this crap!" the hat sneered, rolling its head to the side in a disgusted gesture.
"Exactly what I was thinking," Dean quietly agreed.
"Will you please be quiet!" the old man thundered, his face turning an interesting purple shade.
"Okay, okay, all right!" the hat placated. Dean imagined that if the hat had hands, or wings, they would be out in front of it, palms up.
"Okay?"
"Okay," the hat spat out.
"All right."
"All right. Sorry," the hat replied quietly.
"Finished?" the old man asked, long suffering patience obvious on his face.
"Yes," the hat finally said. It was obvious from its tone that it was humouring its human host.
The old man grunted and focussed his gaze back on Dean. "Quite often, young man," he started, "it seems like we're not getting anywhere, when in fact-"
"We are," the hat jumped in.
The old man grunted and looked up in annoyance before repeating, "We are."
Dean half-laughed in amazement. "What a bunch of crap," he stated as the old man abruptly fell asleep and started snoring.
"Huh! You're telling me," the hat said. "You try being his hat. Please leave a contribution in the little box."
A rectangular box in the old man's hand moved forward and shook in front of Dean.
"Yeah, right," he replied, stepping back. "Thanks for nothing!"
He turned around and ignored whatever more the hat was saying. Still having no idea what direction to go in, he chose straight ahead and moved forward.
Sam looked across at the sleeping goblins as he carefully let the chain that had tied him to the wall pool on the floor. Ever since Dean had been caught – twice – without a paperclip, they'd both taken to carrying them in their pockets. Luckily, even this bizarre world used locks. It had taken him a while to pick it, with the awkward position his hands had been in, but he'd done it. Thankfully he hadn't woken any of the goblins in the process. He stood up, wincing at the cracks his knees made, and inched slowly along the dirty wall. One of the goblins moaned and he froze. The others around it stirred slightly, before settling back down. He started moving again, each step bringing him closer to the door, out of the room and freedom. When he passed a lump of wood that the goblins had been using for goblin tennis – literally – he picked it up. A weapon of any sort would be useful.
Jareth had disappeared twenty minutes before and, when the clock in front of Sam had suddenly advanced in time until there was just over two hours left, he had decided that it was time to get himself out of the situation. He wasn't going to be the 'damsel in distress' waiting for the knight in shining armour. For a start, he wasn't a girl in any way, shape or form – no matter what Dean said – and Dean didn't have any armour, shining or otherwise. And there was the little matter that Dean pissed off people without even trying – and he'd definitely be trying with Jareth – which was almost certainly the reason for why the time had suddenly jumped ahead. Sam wasn't going to risk his safety on the hope that Dean would get to him in time and without pushing Jareth past his limits in the process.
Finally reaching the door, he poked his head out into the corridor and looked both ways. The corridor turned at both ends, but there were no goblins in the short length that he could see. He glanced behind himself one last time and turned back to find a pair of blue eyes inches away from his own face. Sam instinctively brought the piece of wood up to strike the man, but it was ripped from his fingers and flung down the corridor.
"What do we have here, hmm?" Jareth said, his eyebrows quirking, as he backed Sam up against the wall. "Trying to escape?" Jareth's head shook. "There's no escape, Sam."
He felt tongue-tied and slow. It had to be something that Jareth was doing, some weird chemical he projected, because he wouldn't have let an unarmed man back him into a corner any other way.
"Seeing as you're no longer tied up, we might as well get you ready for your new role." Jareth fingered Sam's shirt. "This won't do at all."
TBC…