A/N: Oh my goodness! You guys are amazing. (huggles reviewers) I haven't read all of them yet…but I see the number 15 by my inbox and it's making me happy. I apologize about that weird thing about Anna and Brooke's web dialogue being in nothing b/c the symbols I used didn't transfer onto the site. So here's another update for you all. It's short but hilarious if I do say so myself.

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THE IMPOSTER

A loud crash shattered Erik's Christine-dominated daydreams. Clutching his trusty Punjab lasso, he traced the sound to the closet in the girls' room. He hesitated for a moment, listening warily to the clumsy shuffling of a large life form struggling stand up.

Erik threw open the door and came mask to mask with someone who looked incredibly similar to Gerard Butler. Both men blinked; Erik in surprise, Gerard from the sudden exposure to daylight.

"You!" Erik gasped. Gerard steadied himself and stared at Erik.

"You bloody imposter! With the pants! And the nose!" Erik shrieked, pointing an accusing finger at the aforementioned body part on Gerard's face.

"I beg your pardon!" Gerard cried indignantly in a thick Scottish accent. Defensively, he raised a hand to his nose. "Of course I have a nose! Haven't you?"

Erik glared balefully at him, fingering the lasso when an obvious thought made itself known.

"How the bloody hell did you get in that closet?" he thundered. Gerard calmly wiped a fleck of spit from his smooth cheek.

"I haven't the slightest idea."

Erik glared at him some more. His burning blue eyes eventually found the duffle bag, sitting quietly on the closet floor, with one of Gerard's feet still stuck in its mouth. Erik bent down and ripped the bag off the imposter's foot. Gerard hit the floor like Charlie Chaplin slipping on a banana peel. As far as it is possible to choke a duffle bag, this is what Erik was now doing.

"This is your fault!"

MMMF! Chok-ing.

"You don't have lun—Never mind! Just. Explain. THAT!" Erik gestured violently at the figured sprawled on the closet floor.

Oh, that. Well, I overheard the girls wishing for him. Had a heck of a time getting him to fit the order. And then there was the business of coughing him up. Whew! Let me tell you—

"What do you mean by 'fitting the order'?"

They said they wanted Gerard Butler's phantom but with a Scottish speaking voice. Anyhow, like I was saying—

"Wait. Are you telling me that he has no idea that he is an imposter?"

That's right. As far as he's concerned he is you.

"I think I ought to burn you."

Oh, yeah? Read the tag, buster.

Erik read NONFLAMMABLE in big red letters.

"Curse you."

Tough luck.

The Bag hit the floor with a heavy thud.

Ouch.

Erik pondered, watching as Gerard Phantom slowly came around. Suddenly, the sound of a woman's laughter burst through the balcony window. Gerard Phantom was on his feet instantly.

"Christine!" cried both Opera Ghosts with passion as they dashed to the window. In the courtyard below Christine flirted shamelessly with—surprise, surprise—Raoul de Changy.

"Who is that insolent boy with her?" Gerard Phantom growled.

"That would be the fop."

"No, no, the fop is much foppier than that. He has girly hair and the personality of a brown-paper bag."

"That was your version. This is the real Raoul. Just as that is the real Christine."

"Really? Then why does the "real" Christine look like my Christine?"

Erik rounded on the imposter. He attempted to tower over him, but it turned out that they were the same height. Erik settled for snarling.

"What makes you think she's your Christine?"

"No one else has a mouth that big."

Erik blinked; then contemplated his punjabbing options. All at once, an infinitely better idea occurred to him. A suitably wicked grin twisted his malformed lips beneath the mask. Gerard Phantom didn't see the evil grin, but he did see the maniacal twinkling in Erik's eyes. He became very, very worried.

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Anna and Brooke breezed into their apartment later that evening to find Erik sitting beside a roaring fire, engrossed in the third Harry Potter book.

"Erik, everybody asked about you at dinner," Anna informed him, tossing her cloak and bonnet onto the table. Erik didn't look up from the novel.

"Not everyone," Brooke reminded her.

"Well, besides, Christine and Raoul," Anna conceded. The girls chattered merrily all the way into their room. They shut the door. Erik set aside his book and waited with anxious anticipation.