Chapter 12: Significance
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Author: Jun-I
Pairing: Kambei/Kyuzo
Warnings and Disclaimers: See Chapter 1
Synopsis: The roots of Kyuzo's reticence. And his present doubts about Kambei.
As Kyuuzou walked through the forest, he was surprised to realize he was feeling a little pleased in spite of himself. Someone had asked for his opinion, even though that someone was the annoying Kanbei. It was not the first time Kanbei had done so. The quiet warrior noticed that the commander made the effort to understand the thoughts of his entire team, from the most experienced to the least.
Ayamaro had never asked Kyuuzou for his opinion on any assignment. The silent samurai was just an unthinking enforcer as far as his former employer was concerned. But Kyuuzou was far from uninformed and uneducated. Sensei had made her students study the literary classics and memorize the Art of War, even taking the switch to their backs when their progress was not up to her exacting standards.
Still, Kyuuzou did not blame Ayamaro for seeing him as someone with no thoughts to share. From the beginning of his employment with Kougakyo City, the quiet loner almost never had anything to say. Very early on, his colleagues figured out it was usually a waste of time to ask for his verbal input. So they left him alone.
But things had not always been this way. Kyuuzou was not a particularly quiet child, at least not until the age of ten when he went to live with Sensei. The old lady, as most elders, treated children as people to be talked at, not listened to. With the exception of Haruko, who was the oldest and the designated heir to the dojo, Sensei never asked after the opinions or feelings of any of her students. The younger students were empty receptacles to be subjected to long lectures on what to think, what to say and what to do.
At some point during the six years he spent with Sensei, Kyuuzou decided, "Why bother to give your opinion when it's not going to be valued?" Still Kyuuzou did not regret the time spent under the stern woman's tutelage. Aikawa Sensei gave Kyuuzou an all-
rounded warrior's education that even those born as samurai would kill to have.
The straw-headed child was the youngest and newest of the students during the time he was at Sensei's, and therefore the lowest in the pecking order. The next youngest student was Ayame. Ayame had no one else to dominate except Kyuuzou. As much as the older student had grown protective of Kyuuzou, she could not help being who she was – someone swift to overrule the opinions of an 'inferior'. It was partly from growing up around Ayame that Kyuuzou developed the habit of keeping his mouth shut except when it was absolutely necessary to speak. Better to keep quiet than speak up and be humiliated. One did NOT argue with Third Sister, especially when she was in an irritable mood, which came to be more often than not as the years went by.
Ayame was a born leader. Her decisive, aggressive streak helped her go far. For Kyuuzou's first two years in the military, Ayame was his commanding officer. Her temper did not always make her popular, but her willingness to stand up to her superiors on behalf of her subordinates earned her no small degree of love from those who followed her. Kyuuzou still remembered the Master Sergeant yelling "Go! Go! Go! Go! GO!!!" at the top of her lungs. Some soldiers actually found her brusque and loud manner reassuring. All they had to do was obey and not think. In a time of death and chaos, they needed a leader they could trust to decide things for them. Someone who would charge into battle at their head without hesitation.
Even so, Kyuuzou was glad when he was finally transferred to another battalion, away from Third Sister's authority. None of his later commanding officers quite had Ayame's level of raw physical courage, but still, he had no regrets. For once, he was the star soldier, the best of the platoon. Back in his old platoon, there was Ayame, Mizuho and Haruko. It was said that Third Sister still had not outgrown her drill sergeant mentality by the end of the war, when she was just promoted to the rank of captain. Ayame was right. She could never become taisho, her non-samurai origins not withstanding. She was not cut out to be a politician.
Kanbei, like Ayame, was a natural leader. But the man was quite different from Kyuuzou's Third Sister. He could get the same level of obedience without raising his voice. Shimada was authoritative without being authoritarian; in control without being controlling. Having Kanbei as a leader caused a slight shift in how Kyuuzou saw himself. The older man had a way of making his followers feel wanted, valued and important by taking the time to understand their opinions. Kyuuzou had never before followed a leader like Shimada Kanbei.
Almost everyone the scarlet samurai once held dear had made him feel inadequate, whether they meant to or not. Mother had said she wished he was a daughter. Sensei never acknowledged anything her students did right, but was quick to rebuke them if they did wrong. The senior students did not let him come along on their missions because he was not a 'real' girl. And Ayame was always trying to 'rescue' him. "All my life, I have worked hard to be the best I could be, but the best I could be is never good enough for anyone," he sometimes found himself thinking. "Except maybe for Kanbei."
With Kanbei, Kyuuzou felt different. To the older samurai, Kyuuzou was more than good enough. The scarlet warrior knew that Kanbei saw him as the star of the team, a soldier the experienced leader would literally bet his life to win to his side. It was as if the dark ronin had seen what Kyuuzou was trying to prove about himself. Something Ayame and the rest of those who were 'close' to him never saw.
"Shimada Kanbei…" Kyuuzou let the words roll off his tongue, and then realized with horror that a strange feeling of warmth was creeping up on him. Was he starting to be fond of the man??? The cold warrior was disgusted. He could not like that man! Not when Kanbei might be the one!
Kyuuzou quickly searched his brains for reasons to personally dislike Kanbei. Here was one: The clever leader had a sneaky and cunning side to him. Kanbei had manipulated Kyuuzou and toyed with him during their one match. The proud young samurai could not live that down. At least Ayame, for all her disregard for Kyuuzou's opinions, took him seriously as a fighter. She did not play with her opponents.
Kyuuzou's Third Sister had a reputation for taking no chances. She was swift and merciless. The dark woman said that it was because she was fighting to live instead of living to fight. Among those who chose the way of the sword, there were those who fight to live, and those who live to fight. The woman warrior said that those who belonged to the latter category were ignoble. That would of course, put Kanbei in the 'ignoble' category, Kyuuzou thought smugly. Only that he himself would not fare much better under Ayame's categorization.
Kyuuzou had found himself studying Kanbei when he thought the white-clad samurai was unaware. On some days, the crimson-eyed samurai would feel so sure that the dark ronin was that young officer from years gone by. And on other days, when Kyuuzou saw the older man smile, he was not quite so certain. In those moments, Shimada Kanbei seemed to bear little resemblance to the cruel and cold samurai in Kyuuzou's memory.
Kyuuzou disliked uncertainty. Yet the quiet loner had decided it was not wise to openly ask Kanbei the nagging question that had kept him at the heels of the dark warrior. The silent samurai hated playing games, but with a crafty opponent like Shimada Kanbei, perhaps there was no other choice. In the wrong circumstances, being too honest might just seal the young samurai's doom before Kyuuzou could get the vengeance he sought.
Kyuuzou remembered the tale of Fumiko, childhood friend of his 'Big Sister' Haruko. Fumiko went to fight in the war many years before Haruko did. The fighter pilot died under odd circumstances – the rumor came back that Fumiko's comrades pulled back and failed to cover her when she came under enemy fire. Haruko believed that her friend perished because Fumiko offended her squadron commander by reporting abuses against civilians. Kyuuzou was not going to repeat the same mistake. There was no getting around the fact that the Art of War is the Art of Deceit.
Author's Comments:
- As to the historical possibility of someone from the merchant class (like Ayame) being a more formidable fighter than many samurai, the nonfiction book Secrets of the Samurai: The Martial Arts of Feudal Japan listed a number of examples of legendary fighters who were not samurai:
"During the decline of the Tokugawa, for example, "The Tokaido's Number-One Boss," Jirosho of Shimizu (1820-93)… belonged to the merchant class…. Going back even further in time to the more rigidly controlled period of the early Tokugawa era, the famous Chobei of Banzuin, chief of the Otokodate in Edo, was a chonin (townsman), not a military retainer."
Chonin is a subgroup of the merchant class
- For the context of Ayame saying she would never become taisho, see Happy Endings Chapter 1.
-As to why Ayame's temper got uglier and uglier as years went by, see Retribution Chapter 3 and Happy Endings Chapter 3.