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Interlude 1:
A Little Bit of Leprosy
"Speech"
'thought'
Sound Effects, not Sound Ninja
/comments/ or AN: comments
Scene changes: -
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"Bun-buns."
"What?" Shampoo asked, disturbed.
"Bun-buns." Cologne asked again, insistently.
"What is it Great-Grandmother?" Shampoo asked, her will corroded by months of cardiac problems and random babbling.
"I remember, everything." Cologne said, for a moment appearing lucid.
"You do? This great news!" Shampoo almost yelled with excitement. Finally, finally her Great Grandmother had recovered!
"Yesss... I now remember what I promised myself I would do, the night I defeated Crazy Uncle Jiro for the final time." Cologne cackled madly, and then started saying, "Evil laugh! Giggle!" over and over.
Shampoo sighed once more. Today was not a good day at all.
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The Tendo Dojo, almost forgotten by fans of the series, was in disarray. After a year of Ranma not actually being there, the situation had degraded until almost unbearable.
Akane had spent a lot of time crying, as much as seven hours per day. 'I can't believe that...' she thought for the hundredth time. 'I can't believe they canceled my favorite anime!'
She was taking it well.
Kasumi was cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, must purge the dirt, oh my god it's all over me must scrub my hand my face my body remove the impurity AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Yeah, little case of obsessive compulsive disorder there.
Nabiki was counting money, the same money, in fact, that she had been counting when Ranma left, over and over again, because after Ranma left, it was the only money she could get her hands on.
'This is boring,' she thought, boredly.
Happosai had been particularly saddened by Ranma's disappearance, until he learned it meant he was unopposed ruler of Nerima's lingerie, and went on a rampage. At that moment, he decided to blast his way through the wall, running away from a certain old-age-plagued matriarch.
"You won't escape, Goku! I, the prince of Saiyajins, will defeat you!" Cologne shouted as she finally managed to grab him and stop him from leaving.
Shampoo ran through the destroyed wall. "Great-Grandmother, stop!"
"You'll never catch me alive, coppers!" She said, as she cast a green liquid over Happosai's head, causing him to moan and thrash.
The liquid missed Happosai completely, and hit Kasumi, who shrieked and redoubled her hand-washing efforts, blood running down her skin, rubbed raw. With a sudden fwoom, she disappeared.
Genma came into the room as soon as he heard the fwoom. "What's going on?" He asked, seeing a bloody sink, Cologne apparently ravishing Happosai, and Shampoo standing there dumbfounded.
Cologne waved her hand at him, and with a pop and a smoosh, he was suddenly screaming, his tainted skin falling off in handfuls and drips, collecting at his ankles like carelessly discarded pudding.
Cologne frowned and brought out a rather large spoon from the top of her cane. "Bun-buns, take this." She handed the spoon to Shampoo.
"What Shampoo do with this, Great-Grandmother?" Shampoo asked, now more confused than ever and feeling a cardiac arrest building within her chest.
"Nothing, Bun-buns. That's your job." Cologne giggled like a schoolgirl and the guffawed like a sailor, complete with bad words.
Shampoo dropped the spoon as she fell, spasming from the seizure.
Happosai disappeared in a puff of smoke and a spangle, and Cologne dragged Nabiki away by the hair, yelling about how the martians would never get her now. Genma continued to scream, long after the ambulence arrived and declared him dead from skin and blood loss.
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AN: Well, that's two more Ranmaverse characters down the drains, and one more in the coffin. I wonder where they ended up?
If you guess correctly in a review or email, I will PM you with a note. Good luck, dumbfaces! And by dumbface I mean honored, important and handsome fan!