Notes:

- For the map of the world of Retribution, see my profile page.

Read Checkmate and Demon from the Past chapters of companion fic Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor to get the full context of the Kan/Kyuu history mentioned in this chapter.

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A considerable distance lay between Yoshin State in the south and Nakatsu State in the north. To reach Nakatsu, Kanbei and Kyuuzou had to travel through Hironishi, Akashima and Tosa. The long journey seemed longer still when spent in the company of a deadly enemy. Kyuuzou was now despising himself for all the times he allowed Kanbei to touch him. Whether they were traveling on busy city streets or deserted forest paths, the two men walked in silence and assiduously avoided eye contact.

Akashima was Kanbei's home province. The tall ronin was glad that their Akashima route did not take them within sight of Reiji Castle, where the Confederated Army had slain the retainers of the Aokuma Clan, including Kanbei's parents, before setting fire to the castle. Still, being 'home' after six years brought back mixed feelings for the war veteran. He wondered how the survivors of his clan were faring.

Kyuuzou too, recalled Akashima. It was there he fought on the Westward March, the last major Confederated campaign in the Great War. The silent samurai took pride in being among those who brought a quick and decisive end to the century-long conflict that made life miserable for the common people for too long. But after he saw Kanna, he was not sure if the lives of the common people had improved much after the war.

Ukyo's samurai-vs-Nobuseri experiment did not extend far beyond Tanba Prefecture, the state over which Kougakyo City's government had nominal authority. Both Kanbei and Kyuuzou knew they had to be on high alert for bandits as they moved through Hironishi and Akashima. Sworn enemies or not, the two samurai continued to guard each other as needed - if one slept, the other kept watch. But whenever Kanbei felt Kyuuzou's cold scarlet eyes on him, he was chilled to the bone. He once hoped to be the one who could warm the young man's heart, but now the dark samurai felt cold, so very cold.

Their journey proved uneventful as far as bandits were concerned. It was with relief that Kanbei finally passed the border of Tosa into Nakatsu with the slender samurai walking beside him. By this time, the wounds on Kyuuzou's hand had already closed.

The strange rock hills of lower Nakatsu were a famed sight. They looked like wide pillars reaching for the sky, and trees grew out of them at strange angles. Despite his dark mood, Kanbei could not help taking a deep breath at the beautiful scenery. Kyuuzou too, was eyeing this wondrous natural spectacle with some interest. Second Sister Mizuho had told him of Nakatsu's beauty before. But now he could see it for himself.

At long last they came to the Temple of En at Sanshou Hill. The temple was a yellow marble building with ornately carved wooden beams. The head priest, a long bearded elder, greeted them as they stepped past the entryway into the temple's outer court. "Are you here to seek a vision, honored guests?"

"Yes, we are," Kanbei bowed as he spoke. "Please accept our humble offering." He held out a brown paper envelop with both hands. Within was a string of cash.

It was then the previously silent Kyuuzou suddenly spoke. "That is his offering. Please accept my humble gift," the younger man said as he offered up his own pink paper bag of flowers and incense with both hands.

Looking from one samurai to the other, the Priest of En noticed two small scars on the bigger man's neck. Then his eyes came to rest on the reddish spots on Kanbei's white shirt. They were faint stains – the owner must have tried to wash them out, but the priest had little doubt as to what they were – blood. The bearded old man had an inkling that this strange pair were not friends. But his well-schooled expression did not betray his doubts.

"I thank you, honored patrons," the priest in the gray robe said politely, gesturing towards the main building's entrance. "You can leave the offerings before the altar in the worship hall."

The two warriors followed the Priest of En as he led them past the tall marble pillars of the main hall. Bowing before the idol-less altar, the samurai placed their offerings on the dark wooden altar table, next to the dozens of other offerings left by other devotees. Then they bowed their heads to the floor once more.

After the couple rose to their feet, the priest said, "Come with me, I will show you the Pool of En."

The two warriors left the main hall and followed the elder down the open corridor leading to the inner court of the temple compound. They came upon a couple of novice priests – a young woman and a young man –painting a mural on the outer wall of the inner court.

Oblivious to the visitors, the young priestess was engaged in the activity of gossiping while she brought her large paint brush to the whitewashed wall, "… Yes, it was last week. I saw the fellow dunk his 'friend', if that was really his friend, into the pool in a fit of rage."

The young priest, his small paintbrush diligently mixing blue pigment in a stone dish, answered his colleague. "That fellow must have seen something in their shared past that he did not know about previously. And whatever he saw must have truly upset him. Well, I wonder what it could be… a betrayal, maybe?"

The old priest frowned slightly at his disciples. Gossiping about past visitors was not at all in keeping with the sanctity and dignity of the temple, particularly in the presence of new visitors. The elderly man made a mental note to have a word with the young novices later. But if the two warriors behind him heard those idle comments, they showed no reaction.

Passing through the round tiled entrance of the inner court, the trio approached the marble pool running down the length of the inner temple courtyard. Blue, pink and white lotuses bloomed in small clusters on the clear water.

"Look into the water and it will show you visions of your shared past," the old man said to the two samurai. "Be patient. Sometimes the visions take a while to appear."

Kanbei nodded. "Thank you, honorable priest," the old ronin bowed politely.

"Honored patrons, I will now leave you to your communion. May your visions bring you peace." With those words, the priest turned and left.

Kyuuzou could hear the priest's long robe rustling as the elder exited through the arch of the courtyard and made his way back down the corridor. Kanbei had already knelt down beside the pool, resting his elbows on the raised marble ledge. The red samurai took a deep breath and reluctantly took his place beside his sworn enemy.

For a while they saw nothing in the water except their own reflections.

"Mother said she would meet us here," Kyuuzou thought. "Where is she?"

It was then the water started to ripple. Kanbei saw strange patches of dancing light and color in the pool. These gradually took the form of people, houses, fields and trees. A vision of the past. He glanced at his slender companion. Kyuuzou must be seeing the same thing too, for the slender warrior's pale face had turned paler.

Kanbei turned his attention back to the water. In the strange vision, he saw a blond child of about ten years of age, holding Shizuka's sword. The child ran into a farmhouse, drew the sword and attacked four samurai from behind. "He looks so young!" Kanbei mused when he recognized Kyuuzou in the vision. Even at that age, Kyuuzou had alarming speed and remarkable skill. The child was the one who killed his men, the former commander could see for himself now. So that was why Shizuka's sword was clean when she drew it. The other sword – the blood-stained one – was in Kyuuzou's possession.

Kanbei saw a child, his scarlet eyes wide with horror, watching in the closet as he cut down his cousin. "My son," Shimada heard Shizuka's voice in his head. The horrible realization dawned on the old ronin. So that was where Kyuuzou first saw him 16 years ago. The old warrior felt pain ravage his heart. The boy had suffered on his account. Yet could he have prevented it even if he knew?

Kanbei cast a glance at the younger samurai. The man beside him was gripping the edge of the pool so tightly that his knuckles were white. Kyuuzou's jaw was clenched but he did not turn away from the vision.

The water rippled and the scene changed, much to the relief of both men. Now Kyuuzou saw Big Sister as she looked when she was twenty-seven years of age. He was not expecting to see her here. In this vision, Haruko, dressed as a peasant man, was standing on a hill with an ebony-skinned peasant woman. Someone was speaking to the couple. Kyuuzou recognized that someone. It was Kanbei, in his youth. He was offering a stuffed bear with black rings around its eyes to Tashiro senpai.

"That's my toy bear!" Kyuuzou realized. "So Kanbei was the samurai whom Haruko senpai spoke so well of… But if only Haruko senpai knew what he had done to my family. 'Big Brother' would have slain Kanbei for me."

Kanbei, too, was not expecting to see Tashiro Haruko in that vision. In that scene, they were both young. Kanbei was dressed in the uniform of the Allied Forces. The Southlander was disguised as a male peasant. Kanbei saw the pale samurai take the stuffed animal from him and ride off into the south. He saw her enter a house and give the toy to a tow-headed boy. It was Kyuuzou, looking a little older than he did in the last vision. But definitely still a child. Young Kyuuzou touched the white bear with black legs as if it was a miracle. Kanbei saw him hug it as he went to sleep. Playing about the lips of the sleeping child was the vaguest hint of a smile. The old ronin could not help smiling sadly. So, he had given a gift to Kyuuzou before they even met. A small comfort to an orphaned child from the man who orphaned him. A bitter irony.

But almost immediately, new doubt entered Shimada Kanbei's mind. The second time they met, Tashiro Haruko told Kanbei that her brother – the one who received the toy bear – was fighting in Akashima. That 'brother' had to be none other than Kyuuzou. That meant that…

At this very moment, the waters rippled once more and the vision changed again. Now Kanbei and Kyuuzou saw the Azalea House Restaurant in Sai'an City. In this scene, Kyuuzou was older, a boy of about 16. Kanbei was sitting two tables away. Their backs were to each other, each man unaware of the identity of the other. Indeed, Kyuuzou was not even aware of Kanbei's presence in the restaurant. Kanbei heard once more Kyuuzou's young voice speaking in outraged shock about a fallen hero.

Kanbei was still a young man in that vision. Yet Kyuuzou noticed that he looked older than the Kanbei in the last scene. His hair was longer, and his face more careworn. Observing how Kanbei wore a sympathetic expression as the dark samurai inadvertently eavesdropped on an even younger Kyuuzou, the crimson warrior now thought with bitterness, "So he had empathy for me while I was but a faceless stranger. Why? Why does he have to care? I don't need his condescension!"

Then the vision shifted again, moving to a place familiar to Kanbei - Reiji Castle in his home province of Akashima. Confederated soldiers were fighting their way into the castle even as the defending samurai of the Aokuma Clan put up a fierce resistance. Kanbei saw Kyuuzou once more. The skinny samurai was sprinting down a hallway in pursuit of two other samurai. The old ronin recognized those two samurai – his father and his mother. He saw Kyuuzou's almost reluctant face as Shimada Seibei crossed swords with the enemy soldier. Kyuuzou was a young man now, but his face still had not shed all traces of its childish roundness. There was still a trace of boyish innocence in that pale face. Yet even children had to kill or be killed in that madness known as the Great War. Kanbei knew what would follow next. He wondered if he would be able to bear it. But whether he could bear it or not, he saw it. He saw Kyuuzou cut down his father, and then his mother.

Kyuuzou saw himself once more in Reiji Castle, Akashima Province, listening to a man cry out, "Mother! Mother!" over the military radio. He saw himself shudder as he hit the "Off" button on the communications panel.

Kyuuzou was wondering what this vision had to do with his shared past with Kanbei when he heard his mother's voice speaking in his head. "The two samurai you slew were his father and his mother…"

So, the man whose anguished voice he heard over the radio six years ago was Kanbei. The crimson-eyed samurai could not marveling at the irony. The poetic justice. He stole a glance at the man beside him. Kanbei, staring at the water, was visibly trembling with distress. Kyuuzou smirked. How he delighted in hurting this man as he deserved.

But one moment later, the young veteran heard Mother's voice once more. "The people you killed were my uncle and aunt. My father's younger brother and his wife. So it came to pass that people I love had the duty of killing each other. Such is war."

Kyuuzou's smirk faded as the color drained from his face.

The two men saw the vision shift from a cold indoor scene to a bright outdoor scene. But the brightness was not from the light of the sun. It was the light of a raging fire blazing against the evening sky. Kanbei could see Kyuuzou's slender, graceful figure looking up at Reiji Castle. The young samurai was watching silently as his crab claw mecha comrades set fire to one castle wall after another. As the orange flames flickered to life, they cast a warm glow on Kyuuzou's pale face, making the rather plain youth look, for lack of a better word, beautiful.

At that moment, Kyuuzou was beautiful.

Beautiful like the great fire that engulfed Kanbei's daimyo's castle. The former Allied Forces commander pondered the cruel irony. The fortress of the military governor of Akashima Province was now a pyre for the lord of the Aokuma clan and his loyal retainers. Shimada knew his parents' bodies were burning within the castle as he observed the dancing flames reflected in Kyuuzou's scarlet eyes. The look on the young samurai's face was almost innocent, almost like that of an awestruck child watching a big, beautiful bonfire.

At that sight, the old soldier thought he felt something die within him.

"War, to me, had become a senseless contest to determine who would live to go home to see their children." Shizuka's voice spoke. "That was why I left the battlefield. I hope you can understand my choice, Kisshoumaru, even if you may never agree. Rumi and I wanted to make a new life together – without fighting."

Kanbei bowed his head.

Then they saw the water change once more. This time it showed a vision of Kyuuzou and Kanbei in the desert the night before they were to attack the Capital. The scarlet warrior was lying asleep against the hull of the wrecked Nobuseri as Kanbei knelt down beside him and gently wrapped his jacket around the young man's slender form.

Kyuuzou's shoulders began to shake.

This vision melted into another – Kanbei embracing Kyuuzou's fallen body in the Miyako. Now Kyuuzou could see what he had not been able to see before – how the dark man looked at him after he was dead. The look on Kanbei's face was one of deep sorrow, regret, and something more. The tall ronin gently removed his glove and passed his hand over those staring scarlet eyes, closing them with the caress of a lover, not the touch of a comrade-in-arms.

Observing this tender gesture, Kyuuzou thought, "What a waste of time and effort. I was already dead."

Then they saw one last vision in the water – Kanbei returning to the fallen Miyako, desperately searching through the ruins to find the one person he was forced to leave behind. At last, the tall man glimpsed the red-clad samurai, half hidden beneath a crumbled piece of ceiling. With uncharacteristic haste, the broad-shouldered warrior ran over and heaved aside the debris that covered that broken body.

Observing this scene, Kyuuzou said to himself. "How pointless to hurry. Delay would not have made any difference for a dead man."

But now that Kanbei had found the lifeless samurai, the old ronin slowly got to his knees beside Kyuuzou's corpse. Shimada proceeded to carefully lift the slender frame off the floor. He held the dead Kyuuzou close, gazing into that pale face with an expression that was a mix of tenderness and despair. Kyuuzou saw in his vision how Kanbei's strong arms bore his limp form back to Kanna. The commander laid him down gently in the water shrine, taking as much care with the thin body as he would if Kyuuzou was still alive

"He probably regrets going through all that trouble for me, now knowing what he knows," the silent samurai smirked sarcastically. But behind his smirk, he felt inexplicably sad.

"I take my leave now, my son and my cousin," the two men heard Shizuka's voice speak once more.

"Mother, don't leave,' Kyuuzou said voicelessly. But he felt her presence no more. The water stilled. The two men saw nothing more and heard nothing more in the Pool of En.

So absorbed was the crimson warrior by the visions and their revelations that the young man only now realized with shock that Kanbei had laid a big firm hand on his shoulder.

"How could I be so careless as to allow myself to be caught in this vulnerable position?!!" Kyuuzou scolded himself in alarm. Kanbei's hand could now easily shift to a vice-like grip on his neck. The older man could dunk his head in the water and hold him down until he drowned. Terror flooded Kyuuzou as unbidden memories of drowning in the sea of blood came to his mind.

Kanbei was physically stronger. The younger swordsman would be at a clear disadvantage if Kanbei attacked from behind him while he was kneeling beside the pool. At that thought, the slender samurai flung himself away from Kanbei, rising to his feet at the same time.

Kyuuzou met Kanbei's eyes as he started backing away from the pool. But the look in those dark brown eyes was not one of murderous vengeance. It was one of sad understanding.

"You did your duty as a soldier," the older man said in a neutral tone that could not quite mask his inner turmoil. "I forgive you..."

The tall ronin rose to his feet. Kyuuzou made no answer but Kanbei continued addressing him in a weary voice. "…But I understand if you still hold a grudge against me. After all, I made you who you are, in a way. Not only did I trap my own spirit within the sword, I forced your spirit to join me there."

Then Shimada turned his back on the younger man. As Kyuuzou watched Kanbei walk with heavy step towards the arch of the courtyard gate, he felt a stab of pain in his heart. He felt another stab of pain with each step the old veteran took away from him.

"He hates me now!" Kyuuzou thought as the long-haired man walked through the round gate without looking back. "It is only his annoying so-called magnanimity that caused him to say those condescendingly gracious words. But why should I care if he hates me? After all, I hate him too."

The silent samurai wondered at the strange feeling that threatened to overwhelm him. A sense of deep, deep loss. But why?

"He can never look at me the same way again!" a strange thought came uninvited to Kyuuzou's mind. Then he realized that during all the time they spent together, he had always taken for granted he would have Kanbei's adoring gaze, no matter what he did. After all, the man had 'loved' him even knowing that Kyuuzou could be the one to kill him. Kyuuzou had always told himself that he despised that strange greedy look of need and admiration in the man's dark eyes . Yet he took perverse delight in the thought that the old fool would keep worshipping him with his eyes even until the very moment Kyuuzou killed him. But that was not to be.

Now that the silent samurai no longer had Kanbei's desiring gaze, he felt abandoned. But why?

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"Don't go!" Kanbei thought he heard those words echo in the empty silence of the temple. But he was sure no one spoke. He took another step down the long corridor.

"Don't leave!" the soundless plea came again to his mind. Like the unspoken thoughts of another being. He followed the source of those unspoken words instinctively, turning around to face Kyuuzou. The red-clad samurai stood in the arch of the inner court gate.

Neither man moved for a long, long time. Only a few yards lay between them, but that distance seemed unbridgeable.

Kyuuzou did not know what to say. But finally the thin young man spoke. "Don't you feel obligated to kill me by the code of the ancestors?" Yet the question sounded strangely hollow to his own ears.

"There were a few reasons I gave my sword to Katsushiro after the battle of Kanna." The tall samurai said slowly. "One of them was that I wanted to find a new way of seeing the world, a new way of living. I always wanted to fight a winning a battle. But after I had my wish, I was still not happy. Because I lost you. I finally realized there is more to life than the way of the sword."

Kyuuzou bit his lip and remained silent.

Kanbei paused and took a deep breath. "I took up my sword again only because I thought it would please you. But now I know something I should have realized long before. I am not someone who can please you."

Kyuuzou shifted his weight from one foot to the other, not knowing what else to do. He was not sure what Kanbei meant by those words. The dark samurai continued. "But if you still feel obligated to kill me, we can resume our duel at a more appropriate location."

The old veteran waited for a response from the silent samurai who was now looking away from him. When no reply was forthcoming, Kanbei sighed and said, "If you have no more business with me, please excuse me. I have to return this sword to Katsushiro. And I am guessing there is someone waiting for you. You should go back to her."

Then the tall ronin walked down the corridor and out of the Temple of En without a backward glance.

As Kyuuzou stood staring at the horizon long after Kanbei had disappeared from view, he heard the temple priest pass in the hallway behind him. The man was chanting:

"It is written… The clouds are still, no wind blows, it is the heart of a human that is in tumult…"

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Author's Comments:

- The priest's chant is adapted from a Buddhist saying.