Notes:

- In the past (and in some parts of the world today), most non-vegetarians were effectively vegetarian since they could not afford to eat meat (except on special occasions). Their daily protein came from other sources. Hence the 'vegetarian' diet of the Mount Kei'an students.

- Kyuujiro first appears 14 years ago in companion fic The Ghosts of Chrysanthemum Bridge

- There is NO love interest between Kyuuzou and any of the female Ocs. Neither Kazumi nor Yasue are more than acquaintances with Kyuuzou. Kyuuzou met Kazumi briefly twice – once when he was 16 (and she was 6) and once again when he was 20. He is now 26. Kyuuzou only met Yasue once when he was 20 and she was 14. Yasue has been taking care of Kyuuzou's cat Kyuujiro.

- Since the three individuals are part of the same 'in-group' – being students of the same dojo – they assume a degree of familiarity. Yasue is Kyuuzou's direct junior, so she refers to him with less formality than Kazumi does. (Yasue, Kyuuzou, Ayame, Mizuho and Haruko were all students of Aikawa Sensei, though not necessarily at the same time. Haruko inherited the dojo and Yasue from the old Sensei. Kazumi, however, is a student of Haruko only, and thus one level removed in the dojo lineage.)

Vocab: kouhai – junior, senpai – senior, aniki, o-ni-sama – respectful terms of address for older brother (can be used on non-relatives)

Mount Kei'an Dojo grew much of its own food. The students tended a vegetable and herb garden on the dojo grounds. Towards the east of the garden, there was a peach tree and a plum tree that yielded fruit year after year. The only major food expenses were rice, beans and tofu.

Yasue and Kazumi had finished their training for the day. As evening descended, they went to the vegetable plot to water the plants and stir the compost bin. It was then they noticed a lone figure approaching the dojo, silhouetted against the setting sun.

Yasue squinted at the slender newcomer. When she recognized the distinctive form of the figure's S-shaped scabbard, she called out, "Kyuuzou senpai, is that you?"

The willowy figure came closer on the mountain path, swaying slightly as he walked. Yasue and Kazumi ran over to meet him. "Aniki!" Yasue greeted Kyuuzou's weary face. "We weren't expecting a visit from you! But welcome back nonetheless!"

Kyuuzou acknowledged his two juniors with a silent nod. The three figures walked together towards the house.

"We haven't started cooking dinner yet, but we'll have something ready to eat within an hour and a half." Kazumi volunteered. "Menu for today is stir-fried cabbage, broad beans, and tofu in daikon soup."

Yasue turned towards Kyuuzou. Her expression was more somber now. "Kyuuzou senpai, there's something we have to tell you, but I don't know if this is good timing… after all, you've just arrived… maybe we should wait…" The ebony-skinned 20-year-old bit her lip.

Kyuuzou shot his junior a sidelong glance. It was Kazumi who went right to the point. "Kyuujiro passed away last week," the pale-skinned 16-year-old stated quietly. "He died of old age, I think. At first I thought he was just sleeping, but when he did not wake up after a long time, I touched him. His body was already cold."

Yasue gave Kazumi a reproachful stare but Kyuuzou did not slow his step or otherwise show any emotion. He simply asked impassively as he continued walking. "Where did you bury him?"

"Behind the maple tree," said Yasue.

Instead of heading for the dojo door, Kyuuzou changed his direction and started walking towards the maple tree on the west side of the compound. The two young women followed him. The quiet samurai came to a halt behind the tree. There a heap of stones, each laid carefully upon the other, marked the place where the gray cat lay.

Kyuuzou stared silently at the spot where his childhood companion now rested in eternal sleep. During the four years they lived together, young Kyuuzou had paid Kyuujiro little attention beyond feeding him, cleaning up after him, and ensuring that the feline was free from parasites. Even so, the boy never rebuffed the signs of affection that the usually aloof animal deemed him worthy to receive once in a while. Now the samurai suddenly realized that he missed the cat, Kyuujiro's nonchalance notwithstanding.

The news of the cat's death did not surprise him – Kyuujiro was 14 years old. And last week, as Kyuuzou made his way through Totsuda State, he felt an odd sensation run up his spine, almost like the soft thread of a feline's feet. On thinking back, that must have been shortly after the time Kyuujiro's spirit left the cat's mortal body. The gray feline used to walk on Kyuuzou's back while the tow-headed child lay face down on the sleeping mat in his little room in Mount Kei'an Dojo. But at that time, the cat's feet were warm. "Maybe that strange chilly sensation I felt last week was Kyuujiro coming to say goodbye," Kyuuzou mused.

The scarlet samurai slowly got to his knees before the cat's grave as his strange train of thought continued. "Where do the souls of cats go?" the silent samurai wondered.

Yasue and Kazumi stood by silently, keeping a respectful distance so Kyuuzou could mourn the cat in private. But they had no idea what was going on inside that blond head.

"Why is it so much easier to love a cat than to love a man?" Kyuuzou was asking himself. "Why is it so much easier to have pity on an animal than to have pity on a human?"

"Maybe it is because cats don't do the bad things that people do." He answered his own question voicelessly.

"I will carve him a proper headstone." The two onlookers heard pale-haired young man murmur more to himself than to them.

Then, without warning, the scarlet samurai collapsed and fell to the ground, right before the astonished eyes of the two female fighters.

"Kyuuzou senpai!" Yasue cried out in alarm. "Are you all right?"

The twenty-year-old was not expecting the silent samurai to be pleased at the death of his pet cat. But she was not expecting the unsentimental Kyuuzou to take Kyuujiro's death that hard either.

Kazumi was now kneeling next to the fallen Kyuuzou, holding her palm to his nose.

"He's still breathing," the dark-haired girl pronounced her assessment. "Maybe he just fainted from exhaustion."

--

Sitting in her study, Tashiro Sensei was poring over the pages of a commentary on the Art of War with accompanying battle case studies when she heard the agitated voices of her two students outside. "Sensei! Sensei!"

The tall sword master stepped into the hallway to see Yasue and Kazumi carrying an unconscious Kyuuzou into the house. The two young trainees hurriedly set the skinny samurai down on the living room floor.

Haruko knelt down beside the fallen samurai and seized Kyuuzou's nearest hand to feel his pulse. There was a pulse. The young man was still alive, the sword teacher noted with relief. But almost immediately the broad-shouldered warrior noticed that a wide scar crossed her kouhai's palm and another set of scars crossed his fingers.

Tashiro Haruko frowned. Where did those scars come from?

--

They laid him in his old room, next to the toy bear that used to keep him company.

"There's nothing wrong with him," the doctor had said. "Exhaustion and anemia, that's all. Just feed him when he wakes."

--

Kyuuzou was dreaming of strange things – visions from the past.

It was a winter day. He must have been about six years old. He was hiding behind a snow bank in the forest outside his village. Next to him was Aunt Rumi . Aunty carried a short crossbow, not the samurai's traditional long bow. The short bow was more popular with ninja than with samurai, although some samurai also used it. It was easier to keep the short bow concealed from an enemy. But those were not things Kyuuzou could even imagine. Not in those days.

The tow-headed child looked up at the tall, ebony-skinned woman drawing her bow. Then he turned his crimson eyes towards their unsuspecting quarry upwind.

"Aunty, it is so beautiful…" the pale child asked in a hushed voice. "Do you have to kill it?"

The former Confederated Army archer replied in a low voice as she kept her eye fixed on her target. "Yes, it is beautiful, sweetie. But if I don't kill it, what will we eat this winter?"

He heard the twang of the bow and the song of the soaring arrow so true to its mark. The magnificent stag fell. It struggled to rise to its feet despite the arrow in its chest. Kyuuzou watched, transfixed. He could almost feel the animal's desperation, sense its terror. But he did not have to watch this agonizing sight for long. A second arrow hit the stag right between the eyes. It fell to the snowy ground and rose no more.

Kyuuzou rose from his hiding place and walked over to the fallen beast. The child put his small hands on the animal's smooth shiny coat, marred by blood; he stroked the dead creature as if his touch could offer some comfort. The body was still warm.

Aunty carried the stag home. Mother gutted it. Together Mother and Aunt skinned the magnificent beast, quartered it and cured the meat. Nothing was wasted. The skin was made into shoes, the antlers were sold to a pharmacist to be made into medicine, the innards were cooked and eaten. But Kyuuzou refused to eat any of the deer. He did not feel inclined to do so. All winter he ate rice, beans, and taro. Mother and Aunt looked worried and whispered to each other that he was not getting "proper nutrition".

"What a troublesome child I was," the scarlet warrior thought in his dream. Then he floated once more through the dreamscape of his near-forgotten past. He came to the time when he was eight years old. To celebrate Spring Festival, Mother had slaughtered the chicken he had been raising for an entire year. It was the worst Spring Festival Kyuuzou had so far. He was angry at his mother. She did not understand that the chicken Osen was his friend. He refused to eat Osen and sat in sullen silence at the kitchen table during a time when all families were supposed to be celebrating and feasting with joy.

Other peasant children slaughtered livestock without blinking. Kyuuzou found even the thought of such a thing distasteful. But that was in the past.

"Where is that boy now?" the dreaming samurai asked himself. "What happened to the child who used to love beautiful things and hate killing? What happened to the soul who could feel other creatures' pain?"

"He died sixteen years ago. Shimada Kanbei killed him. That pure soul died the day Kyuuzou first took up the sword to kill because of Kanbei."

Over the years, whenever the young samurai felt a twinge a pity before he struck anyone down, he told himself there was no reason for him to show the world mercy because the world had shown him no mercy. Because Kanbei had shown no mercy.

But why did it have to be Kanbei? Why?

"What is left of me now?" the scarlet warrior wondered. "Who lives within this hull since my better self died 16 years ago? A vengeful spirit who has no more purpose to roam the earth?"

The spirit wandered into the mist of dreams again. This time he came to Mount Kei'an. He dreamt that he and Third Sister were still children. Second Sister had turned into an immortal goddess and was flying away from them into the sky. Still anchored on land, Kyuuzou, Kyuujiro and Ayame chased after her. The earthbound mortals raced across fields and over hills as Mizuho floated further and further away. Finally Kyuuzou lost sight of Second Sister. By now the child felt a sharp pain throbbing in his chest. Was it because he was winded from all the running? Or was it because Mizuho was gone? Part of him wanted to cry. He felt so tired and so sad. Kyuuzou stopped running and turned around. It was then the boy noticed that Ayame and Kyuujiro were no longer behind him. The girl and the cat were gone. Now he was alone, truly alone.

The boy took a good look at his surroundings. He was standing on a seashore, facing a dark, tumultuous sea of shadow. Behind him was nothing except gray mist. He was lost.

Where were Third Sister and Kyuujiro? Were they going to catch up to him? Were they lost in the mist? Will they come looking for him?

"Why does everybody leave me?" the child wondered out loud.

Not knowing what else he could do, Kyuuzou sat down on the sandy shore and stared at the shadowy sea ahead.

--

A day passed in Mount Kei'an Dojo, and then another. Tashiro Sensei waited, but Kyuuzou did not wake. All those years of training for that one duel, of trying to be a warrior strong enough to seek vengeance, of bearing all the grief alone without shedding a tear – all those years had finally taken their toll. Kyuuzou sought to become the ultimate warrior to defeat that man. But all that he endured on account of Shimada Kanbei had come to naught.

The moment Kyuuzou found that he already had his vengeance without even knowing it, the reason for his very existence was taken from him. And something else – something he did not even want to admit he wanted – had been taken away from him. Now he had nothing. Nothing left. There was no reason to wake up.

Kazumi came by Kyuuzou's room in the morning to monitor the samurai's progress. Her senpai's eyes remained shut. Carefully, she picked up the toy bear with black eyes and ears and placed it close to the young man. She wrapped his arms loosely around the bear.

"Feel better, o-ni-sama," the student said. Then the dark-haired young woman went back to her training and her chores.

At noon, when the dark-eyed girl opened the door to Kyuuzou's room, she saw that his arms were wrapped tightly around the stuffed white bear with black legs.

"Hey, he moved!" Kazumi announced to her senpai and sensei. "He is hugging the bear! Maybe he's regaining consciousness."

Heartened by the news, Haruko and Yasue went to Kyuuzou's bedchamber.

"Hey, kid," Big Sister called out as she slid the door open. "Are you awake?"

There was no answer from the thin samurai lying within. His scarlet eyes stayed shut, his thin arms remained wrapped tightly around the gift from the dark samurai Haruko met many years ago. The tall sword master with blue-black hair frowned. Was her junior just going to waste away and die without regaining consciousness? This did not look right. Should they get a second opinion from another doctor?

As Haruko and Yasue looked at each other with worried eyes, they heard the silent samurai break his silence. "Why does everybody leave me?" he said in a pained murmur.

In surprise, teacher and student turned their eyes back towards Kyuuzou.

"Wah," Yasue piped up. "I guess the cat's death hit him really hard."

The pale-haired young woman addressed Kyuuzou encouragingly, "Well, Kyuujiro might have left this world, but the rest of us haven't left you! We're all here! Sensei, Kazumi and I, we're all here with you!"

Thinking that Kyuuzou was showing some sign of returning consciousness, Tashiro Sensei raised her hopes. But these hopes were dashed when the blond man did not answer Yasue. He just lay there with his eyes closed.

"It seems that Kyuuzou is only sleep-talking," Haruko said, stepping into the room and kneeling down next to the younger samurai. "Wake up, kid!" the broad-shouldered warrior shook Kyuuzou's slim shoulders lightly.

Receiving no answer, Haruko shook her head and sighed. She got to her feet and headed to the door. "Find another doctor," Tashiro Sensei said to Yasue.

The student nodded. "Yes, Sensei."

As the tall mannish woman was about to slide the door shut, she heard Kyuuzou's soft voice behind her.

"Kanbei…" the slender samurai spoke in his slumber. "Why?"

"Kanbei? Who in the world is Kanbei?" Yasue asked curiously.

"I do not know," Tashiro Sensei replied slowly, staring at Kyuuzou's sleeping face. A single tear was now rolling down his cheek, slowly sliding down to the sleeping mat. Haruko had never seen Kyuuzou weep, not even as a child. The sensei had the intuition that what afflicted the young man at this moment was an illness of the soul and not of the body.

"He seems to be trapped in a dream, one from which he cannot wake or does not want to wake…" The master of Mount Kei'an Dojo remarked.

"Maybe, maybe this is not just about Kyuujiro after all…" Yasue surmised.

--

Tashiro Haruko strode back to her study, thinking that the name Kyuuzou called out sounded rather familiar. "Kanbei… where did I hear that name?" the wolf warrior asked herself. Then she recalled the unfortunate Allied Air Force commander she defeated six years ago using a vastly numerically inferior team of ninjas. Shimada Kanbei was his name. The former Confederated Army Special Forces officer felt a slight twinge of pity at the memory of that enemy samurai who was left with nothing – not even the chance to fight a losing battle. But that meant the Confederated Army commandos did their job well.

Still, could it be that Kanbei? Haruko shrugged. There were many people named 'Kanbei'. That had to be a mere coincidence.

Then the dark-eyed ex-samurai recalled that Ayame also mentioned the name 'Kanbei' in her most recent letter. Now that she remembered it, Kanbei was someone Kyuuzou was working with on the Kanna Project. Third Sister had met him briefly while she was in Kougakyo with Kyuuzou.

"Kazumi," the tall warrior addressed her youngest disciple as she stepped into the hallway. "I'm going to town to send a message to Hokuhei."

Author's Comments:

- Hokuhei is the northern city where Ayame lives.

- Haruko and Kanbei are both 41 years old at this point. Ayame is 29. Kyuuzou is 26.

- The Haruko vs Kanbei backstory is in Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor.

- The dream scene is inspired by the closing sequence of Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water, in which Nadia, King and Jean were running endlessly, chasing after an aircraft in the sky; and a scene from the opening sequence of Twelve Kingdoms in which a goddess with a streaming sash is flying above a herd of kirin.