Act 2: He shoots, He dies

Vallejo and Principal are on the school TV show. Principal uses her stupid fake smile while Vallejo seems nervous.

Principal: Welcome back to More More More! The school show about the school. Today, we have Vallejo, our school chief, who is going to tell us about the dangers of drunk driving.

Vallejo: Um. It's very bad. It kills. But, hey, I don't drink beer. I drink cocoa.

Principal: Did you know that drinking too much cocoa causes hallucinations to one's mind.

Vallejo: I only had seventeen cups, Oprah.

Principal: I know that you don't know my name because of this stupid fanfiction writer, but Oprah? I'm not black, I'm not rich and as a bonus: I'm not black.

Vallejo: But you are Oprah! The angel sitting beside you told me so! I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!!!

Principal: (confused and worried) Chief? Did you also know that too much sugar causes extremely happy behavior along with being too hyper?

Vallejo: IDONOTKNOWWHATYOUARETALKINGABOUTBUTTHEWHOLEROOMISSMILINGANDIWOULDLIKETOSAYWHATISUPTOEVERYBODYINTHISBITCHWHATISUPYOUGUYSPARTYATMYHOUSE! (jumps up and down a couch) I LOVE INGRID! I LOVE FILLMORE! I LOVE PORN! I...

Elsewhere, Fillmore and Ingrid are watching the show

Fillmore: Stage 1. Now who's the fool?

Ingrid: This room still smells like sex. Should I Febreeze the room?

Fillmore: No. I want Vallejo to get fired.

Ingrid: He's going to get fired anyway. Look at him jump up and down that couch. He is not going to get off easy.

Fillmore: (smirks at Ingrid) Speaking of getting off easy, you were pretty....

At Principal's office where Principal and Vallejo are at a desk.

Principal: I haven't been more embarrassed on TV since Pauly Shore came as a special guest to speak out against terrible movies. Boy, I tell you, that Bio-Dome movie was good now that I think about it. (gets on the phone with a receptionist) Hello? You know that guest we have for the speech against bad movies? Can you change the special guest and get Ben Affleck, that would be terrific. (hangs up)

Vallejo: I'm sorry.

Principal: Sorry won't help me bring back my career.

Vallejo: Ma'am, not to be rude, but you're like the Connie Chung of no careers.

Principal: Hall duty for the rest of the day.

Vallejo: But I'm the boss. I approve memos, like a boss. Promote synergy, like a boss.

Principal: I swear to God, if you say one more line from that song, I will slit your throat.

In the hallways and Vallejo is talking to himself

Vallejo: I don't understand what came over me on TV. I never felt that way about Oprah.

Fillmore: (goes to Vallejo) Ingrid is setting up the intervention. If you don't let us help you, you're going to stage 2. Stage 1 was extreme happiness. Next stage is...

Vallejo: Go screw yourself, Fillmore. I have hall duty.

Fillmore: We will be waiting. (walks away)

Vallejo: Yeah, like I'll get help from them. What's going to be step 2? I don't give a...(a kid steps in his shoe) KICK YOU FREAKING ASS! I WANT YOU OUT OF THE FREAKING HALLWAY, YOU PRICK!

Kid: (puzzled) Sorry, dude. I didn't see you there.

Vallejo: No, don't be sorry. Think! For one goddamn minute! That the hell ARE YOU DOING?!

Kid: I just stepped on your shoe.

Vallejo: Are you professional or not? DO I WALK AROUND AND STEP ON YOUR... NO SHUT THE HELL UP BRUCE! DO I WANT...

Kid: Who the hell is Bruce? It's just you and me...

Vallejo: NO! NO! DON'T SHUT ME UP! AM I GOING TO WALK AROUND AND STEP ON YOUR GODDAMN SHOE? IN THE HALLWAY? THEN WHY THE HELL ARE WALKING RIGHT THROUGH?! A DA DA DA DA LIKE THIS IN THE HALLWAY, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Kid: Dude, chill. There are no marks on your shoe so don't worry about it. You're acting worse than when a black guy acts when he gets his shoe stepped on.

Vallejo: I'M GOING TO F#$ING KICK YOUR F#$ING ASS IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE... (goes to Kid)

Kid: (shields hjimself with arms) NO!

A gunshot is fired.

At Principal's office

Principal: Thanks to you, Chief, a kid is dead after you shot him.

Vallejo: The kid stepped on my shoe! I was not going to take that lying down.

Principal: I don't know what's gotten over you but I'll give you time to think about it when you're suspended off of the force.

Vallejo: What? But, but...

Principal: One more but and yours is mine. Get the hell out of my office.

Vallejo: (leaves office) Fine. I have other things to do anyway.

Fillmore and Ingrid are in Principal's office.

Principal: Do any of you know why Chief is acting like he's acting?

Fillmore: We tried an intervention because he's been drinking too much cocoa.

Ingrid: Only problem is he won't fess up about his addiction and he's already going through stages one and two of the three stages.

Principal: Do you know where he is?

Ingrid: Yes. We have to hurry this up though. Stage three makes one of the worst things about him worse.

Principal: I've read the past two scripts of this show so the worst thing about him is... (gasps) You guys have to find him quick! He is going to be killed if you don't stop him!

Fillmore: By now he's already at the destination. It may be too late.

Ingrid: Fillmore. Don't give up hope. Come on, it's not too late!