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Chapter 6? I think? Tell me if I got the number wrong, it's been a while.
This story is dedicated to that feeling you get when you realize you forgot about something or someone relatively important. Like, "OH SHIT! I was supposed to do that?" It is also dedicated to "The Lazy Uchiha," which inspired me to write more. Go read it! It has many chapters and continues to update, unlike me!
This story is also dedicated to everyone but Slacker, out of spite.
(Scene Change)
Ranma finished climbing down the stairs back to the waiting area for the matches. "How did you like that match, eh? I didn't expect something so good from Orange-Jacket, at least until I sensed his chakra before the fight. He sure got a boost out of nowhere!"
"I know, isn't he amazing?" Haku asked, rhetorically, "I think, after that victory, I can start liking him again! His awesomeness in the present cancels out past pathetic-ness."
Gaara just put his head into his hands. "Stop fantasizing about other guys and get ready! Your match begins in less than a minute."
Haku's mask obscured her face as she appeared in her place an instant before the examiner began to yell at her for being late, an obscured shade phasing into existence unexpectedly on the slightly burnt grass of the battling area.
"There you are! Your entire team seems to think being fashionably late is in style..." the announcer whispered, before turning back to the crowd, "And now, the first village against village battle! The startling and anyone's-game match between the intelligence and technique of Nara Shikamaru of Konoha and the stunningly fast and mysterious Tendo Haku from the village of sound! The fight for the honor of their villages! Everything is at stake here, folks!"
Haku stared at the announcer from behind her mask, not moving her mask to avoid letting her foe know she wasn't paying attention. 'What an overly dramatic man.' she thought.
"This determining match, the fate of their villages at stake, begins now!" the announcer shouted, and Shikamaru immediately jumped backwards into the shade.
"I know from your previous match that shadow is in your command," Haku began, "but I am not required to go into the shadows. You should give up before my needles hurt you too badly."
"Tch. What a bother! I have to fight you, though. A man never can surrender to a girl once the fight has begun." Shikamaru inwardly sighed and rubbed his neck from where Naruto's push had sent him crashing to the ground. 'I wouldn't have to fight if it weren't for that moron.'
"Very well then." Haku readied her needles for throwing before jumping back, suddenly, as Shikamaru's shadow almost caught her.
"Hmm. You saw my trap." Shikamaru grinned, but then sighed, looking at the mask on his opponent's face. 'But you never looked at my trap once. How are you seeing what's on the ground without moving your mask, which must obscure your vision at least partially?'
Haku began to throw her needles again, marking a spot in the ground where the shadow failed to reach. "This is a safe spot, so I'll begin to defeat you." Haku threw a swarm of needles, buzzing as insects hurtling through the air at Shikamaru, who dodged behind a tree and into hiding, where he remained for minutes as Haku gazed impassively at the shadowed area of the stadium.
"Coming out today?" Haku sent mockingly into the darkness, before gasping and jumping back just in time to avoid the shadow that whisked past her marked line.
"Ha, almost had you." Shikamaru said with an equal amount of mock from his place in the dark. "The shadow of the wall grows larger with each passing moment! In a short while, no place will be safe!"
"But for now, I can rest here." Haku said confidently.
Unseen, Shikamaru grinned. Haku once again jumped back and to the side, landing in between craters left from Naruto's match. Shikamaru's jacket, weighted down by a kunai, floated slowly to the ground, its shadow extending Shikamaru's reach by a good three meters. A second later, four smoke bombs dropped, obscuring Haku's vision completely.
Shikamaru walked into the open, jacketless and looking bored. He began to make the hand signs for his Shadow Copy jutsu when three needles rocketed out of the smoke to hit him in the arms. With wide eyes, he yelled. "How could you pinpoint me with that smoke around you?"
Haku stepped from the smoke, mask hiding a victorious grin. "I have other means of vision."
Then, Shikamaru grinned. "But you still don't see, do you? What a bother." Shikamaru disappeared in a puff of smoke, replaced by a log. Haku gasped, but did not turn.
"I've got you now. I knew you could see me the whole time, so I didn't plan on obscuring your vision. I just had to get you off your guard by making you think you'd won." Shikamaru walked slowly from the shadows of the trees, causing Haku to also walk forward. "I think I know your trick, too." He mimed pulling off a mask from his face, causing Haku to pull her own mask off. Shikamaru 'tossed' the mask to the center of the field, inside-up.
Lining the inside of Haku's mask were mirrors, mirrors that reflected not the afternoon sky but various images of the field.
"Mirrors. That's a new one." Shikamaru said, then looked back at Haku. "This match is over."
Shikamaru raised his hands. "And now, my final act in this match." He turned to the announcer. "I surrender."
The crowd gasped this time. Shikamaru went on to explain. "I'm all out of chakra. My foe's skills at evasion are too much for me. I can't win." As if on cue, the Shadow Bind Jutsu ended, and Shikamaru sat down.
Haku sighed, disappointed. She'd been beaten, but her opponent let her win! 'Wait a sec,' she thought, 'At least he's kind of cute.'
"Gaara," Ranma said, cautiously, "You're up next. Remember what I told you – what we saw of his training."
"Stop being so serious," Gaara said with a smirk, "He hasn't even shown up yet."
Before Ranma could tenderly reply with brutal force, Gaara was gone, taking a wave of sand down to the stairs he was supposed to take.
"How could you just give up like that?" Naruto whiningly asked, looking at Shikamaru with disgusted eyes.
"How troublesome," Shikamaru replied, looking boredly upwards and catching a glint of metal on the floor above. "What's that?" He asked, just in time to hear two sudden thunks.
Gaara, sound ninja and powerhouse was finishing off two Mist jounin in the hallway.
"What the !" Shikamaru yelled. Gaara calmly took the stairs down and looked at him.
"They asked me to throw the match. I don't throw matches, unlike you. They tried to persuade me, so I took care of them." Gaara responded.
"Took care of them?" Shikamaru gulped at the proximity of Gaara's expressionless face. Naruto just looked questioningly at the pair, not having seen Gaara fight anyone but Rock Lee before.
Gaara looked the other way, fixing his gaze on Naruto. "Oh, it's you. Nice job taking out that so-called genius ninja. I also use the ground to ambush, sometimes." Gaara moved his face closer, more strongly violating Naruto's personal space. "We are alike, you and I. We'll have to fight, sometime, if you don't make it to the final match of this tournament like I will." Gaara then moved towards the fighting area, whistling a happy tune that promised blue skies and red patches on the ground.
Naruto stood still for a moment longer, disturbed, before moving up the stairs to look at the Mist Jounin, who both had "Loser" permanently scarred into their forehead like a sick, painful tattoo. "I have to warn Sasuke," Naruto said to himself, "This guy is some sort of pranking monster!"
DISCLAIMER: Everything after this point is stupid. I mean it. WARNING: This isn't a guarantee that everything before this point isn't stupid.
OMAKE
Shikamaru raised his hands. "And now, my final act in this match." He then continued: "Dance!"
With that, he forced Haku to do the Time Warp, again and again, until she finally snapped and surrendered.
OMAKE 2
Garra moved his face closer, more strongly violating Naruto's personal space. "We are alike you and I. We'll have to get to know each other better." Gaara then kissed Naruto on the lips and continued down to the fighting area, completing the trio of missing-nin Ranma had created as a total yaoi-fest.
OMAKE 3
Shikamaru walked into the open, jacketless and looking bored. He began to make the hand signs for his Shadow Copy jutsu when three needles rocketed out of the smoke to hit him in the arms. With wide eyes, he yelled. "How could you pinpoint me with that smoke around you?"
Haku stepped from the smoke, mask hiding a victorious grin. "I have other means of vision."
Shikamaru tumbled to the ground, ceasing respiration. Haku looked on, worried. "You mean that wasn't a trap? Oh shit! He's fucking dead!"
The announcer called Haku's victory, while Haku mourned the fact that, in order to comment on Shikamaru's looks, she'd have to become a necrophile.