Results
Chapter 9?
"Consolidate Good Times"
By Kuno-Baka... err, Kuno-Baby
This chapter is dedicated to my best friend, the semicolon. Thank you for all you've done for me; especially this.
This chapter is also dedicated to everyone but Slacker, for reasons I can't quite recall ???
AN: The first part of this tries to explain the last chapter and address all questions I have received. To chronicle them:
Q: Why did Gaara turn evil all of a sudden? (This one is really easy.)
Q: WTF??? (This one is easy too.)
Q: What (will) the leaf ... do with the (rogue) ninja team? (Ooh, a tricky one.)
Q: What happens now? (READ THE STORY. DUMBFACE.)
Q: Will Ranma, Haku, and Gaara become a new Konoha team? (See question 3.)
Q: Is Orochimaru going to be after Ranma now? (No. Orochimaru is only into little BOYS.)
Q: Damn you, Kevin Joe Bays. (Damn You! And thanks for the reviews.)
Q: Why did you cut off her foot? (Diabetes. This one is complicated and related to the fact that Lee's legs are fine in this version.)
Q: Why are you doing it in this Q+A format when you aren't even answering them at all? WTF? (See #2)
Q: Why haven't you corrected your error regarding Shukaku? (I art lazier than thou.)
AN: There's this author I know, and if you're reading this, bet YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. This guy takes SOOOOO long to update. I swear. It drives me mad. I have to read the whole thing again just to grasp enough of the story to write another chapter! Yeah, you! I know you're reading this, Kuno-Baby! Or should I say Kuno-Baka?
(scene change)
"You don't have to look at us like that, you know. We're coming willingly." Ranma sighed.
"I'm not watching you closely because I think you're dangerous," Sasuke explained. "I'm just worried about what Haku is doing to Naruto..."
Feigning a leg injury, Haku had forced Naruto to carry her to the village. Naruto was extremely uncomfortable as the trans-ninja had her arms around his neck and was laying a kiss on his cheek.
"Can't you walk on your own yet?" He grumbled, disturbed.
"Nope," Haku purred.
Ranma sighed. "Doesn't he realize she's faking?"
"He's pretty dumb."
"I don't approve of that relationship!" Ranma shouted at them. Sakura looked over at Ranma, walking next to HER Sasuke, and sighed in anger. "Why do I have to carry Temari?"
"Because I am already carrying Kankuro." Shino calmly called out from the back of the group. His insects were slowly lugging Kankuro across the bumpy ground.
"That doesn't count as carrying!" Sakura complained.
"Fine." Sasuke said, simply, "I'll carry her." He gently took Temari out of Sakura's hands, careful not to disturb the bandage around her ankle.
Sakura fumed. Inner Sakura screamed. "I want him to carry me that way!"
They trudged along, the gates of Konoha and the wreckage around them visible in the distance ahead.
(scene change)
"We've discussed it over and over. You must take this job." An elder spoke softly to Jiraiya, Sannin and elite ninja.
"I can't. I'm not responsible enough. What of Tsunade?" Jiraiya asked.
"She hasn't been located. You MUST take the job!" He said, louder.
"Blast it!" Jiraiya exclaimed. "I don't want to be the -
He was interrupted by a smaller, older pervert. "I'll do it if you won't, sonny boy."
Happosai had a much larger pipe than normal, but was otherwise unchanged.
"Is that- Are you- That's..." Jiraiya spoke quickly and stuttered.
The village elder finally asked for him. "Are you smoking Orochimaru's severed arms?"
"So?" Happosai replied.
(scene change)
"What happened here?" Naruto exclaimed as he reached the broken gates. "Someone smashed right through here?"
"Let's meet with the Hokage. He'll tell us what to do..." Sasuke said, confidently.
(scene change)
"What? Can't you take a joke?" Happosai said, from his position upside-down and tied up securely.
"Novelty cigars are not funny! Especially not gruesome ones!" Jiraiya shouted, before tossing the perverted master off the building.
(scene change)
"Wounded to the infirmary." The jounin didn't even look up from his checklist.
"What? These are enemy combatants, if you didn't notice." Sasuke explained.
"Sand ninja are on temporary pardon. Complete surrender." The ninja looked up. "Didn't you hear about..." He focused on Ranma.
"Sound ninja? You actually took some alive? Most of them took their own lives following capture." The jounin took Ranma roughly by the hand. "This warrant special attention. We'll take care of them from now."
Ranma slapped his hand away and jumped back. "Wait just a second. I'm on your side."
"Hmm?" A half-dozen Anbu Elite Ninja dropped from nowhere in a containing circle around Ranma.
"Wait!" Sasuke said. "She's on our side. Her team defected before the attack."
"Oh, really? Even better." The jounin put aside his clipboard and looked closer at the motley group of mostly-injured genin. "I'll escort you to the council, and we can figure out what to do with you."
"Council? What about the Hokage?" Naruto said, impatiently, while helping Haku stand.
"You really haven't heard, have you? The Kazekage was assassinated by Orochimaru, the renegade sannin, and he also fought our own Hokage. The third fell protecting our village from Orochimaru."
Naruto gasped, and Sasuke tried to hold in an exclamation of shock. Sakura turned away.
"It's hard news to hear. The council of elders is leading the village until a new hokage is chosen."
(scene change.)
"What? Why can't I become hokage?" Happosai angrily asked.
"You're not technically a ninja." Jiraiya pointed out.
"Damn. We'll have to find someone else. Unless I can pass the Genin exams, Chuunin exams, and get appointed a Jounin in the next... four weeks." Happosai lit up. "Easy enough!"
"The next Chuunin Exam is next YEAR." Jiraiya pointed out.
"Damn. We'll have to find someone else, for real..."
(scene change)
As they entered the room, the Jounin made a slight bow towards the council.
"Two sand combatants captured. Four genin who need debriefing. Three Sound ninja... who have fought on our side in the recent conflict." He announced.
Looks of shock passed around the council. "Three sound ninja who have betrayed Orochimaru? How?"
"Uhh..." Ranma scratched the back of her neck nervously. "We aren't really sound ninja... we were just faking to get in the exam... hehehehehe..."
"Oh, gee, that's..." The council chair began, "We need them to be taken care of so we can get the whole story on this. Make sure they are guarded... we don't know if any Sound ninja will be after them... and we don't know if they'll turn out to be after us. Take the sand ninja with them, and make sure all of them get medic-nins to look them over. Especially the one with only one foot."
The jounin bowed once more towards the table and led them quickly out and to the nearest clinic.
(scene change)
Gaara stirred, then clutched his head, then clutched his heart. He hurt all over, and he couldn't remember anything since his fight had been interrupted... and he had been given some sort of potion...
"Gaara? You awake?" Ranma sat in a chair by his bed, concerned.
"Yeah... what... where?" Gaara couldn't form a whole sentence, his mind fragmented.
"Do you... do you remember what happened?" Ranma said, fearfully.
Gaara felt the memories rush back as he awoke fully. "I was... in a haze. The potion didn't let me think. Shukaku... took over. And you... and he... I'm... I'm so sorry!" He tried to sit up, but fell back down.
"It's alright. Kankuro explained it to us. The potion made you fall into a trance, where Shukaku could control you. What you did – it wasn't you." Ranma said, comfortingly.
Gaara sat up again, slower. "That Naruto... he's got a lot of guts." He reached for Ranma's hand, but Ranma brought him into a full embrace.
"I don't know how I'd get along if you weren't beside me, my brother." Ranma said.
"I'm just saying, Gaara continued, "With what he's displayed, I'm sure he's a good match for Haku."
"Ow." He finished, as Ranma thumped him on the head.
(scene change)
Kankuro sat beside Temari, his head in his hands. "We never should have taken this mission. We never should have believed that fake Kazekage. Why?"
"It... wasn't your fault. How... could... you... know?" Temari spoke, haltingly and weakly.
"I should have! I'm the kind of guy who should be setting such a trap, not falling blindly into it! You... might never walk again, much less fight! It's my fault for making you take that mission!" Kankuro began to softly cry.
"I wanted the mission as much as you – for the sand to come back." She spoke with more strength. "We were deceived. Lay the blame on the deceiver."
"I don't think you're right." Kankuro lifted his head. "I think I'll make up for this, somehow."
(scene change)
"Gaara. Now that you are well, the council must speak with you." The same jounin came back to act as an intermediary.
"Ranko will come with me." Gaara said, sharply.
"Of course. Come."
Gaara stood, slowly, and managed to step fast enough to make it to the council chamber. Ranma followed shortly behind.
"Saotome Gaara, known as Gaara of the desert because of his use of the sand. We have some news for you." The council chair announced solemnly.
"Yes?" Gaara said, flatly.
"You may know that the late Kazekage was your father?" The council chair said with equal tonelessness.
"Yes."
"He left a will. A rather long one."
Gaara's eyes shot open.
The council chair continued. "He leaves a note for you specifically, Gaara, and instructions. You should read it first." An attendant handed Gaara a piece of paper.
My Son
Though I never acknowledged you as anything other than a criminal in life, if you are reading this now, it means that I am dead and such worries are behind me. You are the strongest ninja of your generation – I know this, I have followed your exploits as a mercenary and a fugitive. You may or may not be surprised to know that I knew where you were the entire time – my spies are extremely good at what they do. I know that if I have died at this point, Gaara, that the sand needs you. I have left you one thing no one else could grant you in my will. Innocence. The Sand forgives you of everything you were accused of. Return. Become the Kazekage in my place.
Your Father, once Kazekage of the Sand
Gaara snarled with anger. He crumpled the page in his hand.
"No."
The council gasped.
Gaara went on. "Find someone else. My dead father will not have a hold on me. I have a family."
"Very well. But you and your 'family' are no longer missing-nin, you'll be glad to hear."
"No one could catch us anyway." Ranma quipped.
"But you are still homeless ninja. We have a hard decision to make. On the one hand, you are rogues and mercenaries, perhaps dangerous and perhaps criminals. On the other hand, the Leaf is undermanned after this invasion – and we need such talent in our village no matter the status of diplomacy between the villages. I will ask you to join a village again, Gaara. You and your team are invited to join the Leaf as genins."
Gaara was speechless, and Ranma did not say a word.
(scene change)
"Excuse me, sir, but who is this 'Tsunade?'" Kankuro addressed Happosai with great respect.
"Ah, a properly polite young man. Not many around these days. Why, I'll tell you all about her! From what I hear, she's the best healer on the planet!..."
(scene change)
Kakashi tried to explain again. "Listen, Naruto, your speech was all well and good, but I sensed chakra at work. You didn't do it with words alone."
"You mean?" Naruto said, mournfully.
"Yes. Ranma's punch imparted healing chakra that fixed Gaara's condition. Your speech about family made no sense and did nothing." Kakashi explained.
"Awwww..."
(scene change)
"Are you sure I made the right choice?" Gaara asked, insecure.
"Yep!" Ranma said, happily.
"You're just glad they made you a chuunin instead!" Gaara accused.
"Yep!" Ranma said, happily. "Hey, wait'll I tell Haku. He's wanted to stick in one place for a while, and he'll be double glad because he can see Naruto all the time now."
Gaara mumbled under his breath. "Leadership skills demonstrated my ass. They just think you're more powerful than me."
"I am a leader now, Gaara. You better do what I say!" Ranma stuck her tongue out.
"Well, are you going to tell them about the curse?" Gaara asked, innocently.
"Urk!" Ranma bit her tongue.
(end chapter)
AN: Well. Well... If I didn't answer any questions... let me check, actually. I'll just answer em plain right here unless they give spoilers.
Q: WTF???
A: I wrote a story called Results. You liked it enough to review. That's what.
Q: Why did you cut off her foot?
A: It would spoil to tell you, but I gave a big ol' hint.
Q: Damn you, Kevin Joe Bays.
A: Please forgive me. I actually love you. Don't leave me! I'm lonely!
Q: Is Orochimaru going to be after Ranma now?
A: He's after a lot of people. Who knows? He may discover the curse and get a crush on boy-ranma.
OMAKE:
"Uhh..." Ranma scratched the back of her neck nervously. "We aren't really sound ninja... we were just playing around with the headbands... hehehehehe..."
OMAKE II:
The village elder finally asked for him. "Are you smoking Orochimaru's severed arms?"
"So?" Happosai replied.
AN: This actually appeared in the chapter. Go figure.
OMAKE III:
"Fine." Sasuke said, simply, "I'll carry her." He gently took Temari out of Sakura's hands, careful not to disturb the bandage around her ankle.
Naruto fumed. Inner Naruto screamed. "I want him to carry me that way!"