A/N: I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this chapter. I covered a lot of ground quickly – hopefully, not too quickly. Thoughts?

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I don't own CSI. Some inspiration and dialogue, including Grissom's monologue, are taken from episodes 404, "Invisible Evidence;" 408, "After the Show;" and 412, "Butterflied."

Confession

By the time Grissom came back from Jackpot, Sara had been assigned a new case. She was working solo with Detective Vartann on the death of an elderly man. While an older man dying alone in his home was not unusual, a healthy older man dying with a lethal dose of morphine in his system was. The death had been ruled a homicide, and Sara was working as quickly as she could to piece together the details. They had just finished interrogating their third suspect.

"Well, what do you think?" Vartann asked.

Sara shrugged, watching as their suspect – a neighbor who had been feuding with the older man for years – walked away from the interrogation room. "I've liked him for this from the beginning, but if he has an alibi …"

Vartann nodded. "I'll check it out. See if he really was at work when the old man was poisoned."

"If he was, we're out of suspects." Sara shook her head. "Perfectly healthy people don't just drop dead with extremely high levels of morphine in their systems."

"I know," Vartann replied. "Someone did this to him."

Sara opened her mouth to reply, but stopped when her pager went off. Frowning slightly, she picked it up and read the small display. "I have to get back to CSI," she said. "I'll go over the evidence again, and call you if I find anything."

Vartann nodded. "See you later, Sara."

"Bye," she said, getting up to leave PD.

Sara felt extremely confused as she drove back to CSI. Even though she hadn't seen Grissom since his return from Jackpot, she knew that he knew that she was working this homicide solo. Why would he summon her back for a meeting? It just didn't make sense.

She got out of her car and saw Nick walking into the building. At least she wouldn't be the only one who was accused of holding up the meeting.

"Hey," she said, hurrying to catch up with him as he entered the lab.

"Hi," he smiled, stopping to wait for Sara so they could walk in together. "Did you get Grissom's page, too?"

"Yeah," she said. "I had just finished an interrogation. Why does he want us back for a meeting?"

Nick shrugged. "I'm just glad he caught me before I jumped into the dumpster."

Sara grinned. "I think we're all pretty glad about that, Nicky."

Nick laughed and held the conference room door open for her to pass ahead of him. Catherine was already seated, waiting for everyone else.

"What's going on, Cath?" Sara asked.

"I only have the most limited of details, so I'll let Grissom explain," she said.

Sara frowned. She hated feeling confused.

All too soon, everything became clear. The case against a man who had raped and murdered a young woman was in jeopardy because the police had neglected to get a warrant before asking Warrick to search their suspect's car. Without a warrant, the search violated the suspect's constitutional rights. To uphold those rights, all evidence collected from the car – namely, a knife covered in the victim's blood – had to be excluded. Without the knife, they had nothing to hold the man. Grissom put the entire team to work on the case during the brief, twenty-four hour window the court had allowed to find new evidence that would put the man on trial for this heinous crime.

As much as Sara wanted justice in Warrick's case, she was more than a little put out that it was taking precedence over hers. She had already applied for the Key CSI position; solving her case would only make her a more attractive candidate.

The more involved she got in the case, however, the less she cared about her own homicide. This poor girl had died a horrible death, and Sara wanted to find out what had happened to her. She wanted to help bring about punishment for the man who had done this to her, and peace to her mother and sister.

Unexpected twists and turns were not new to any of the CSIs, but they were all surprised when their suspect – the man they were working feverishly to prove was guilty – suddenly appeared to be innocent. After a brief meeting to discuss the new turn of events, they split up to once again go over the evidence.

Sara found herself standing in the layout room, staring at the bloody sheets that had been on the bed under the girl's body. Grissom had already processed them, but somehow, Sara needed to see them. She needed to look at this piece of evidence, hoping that it would help her make some sense of all the other, sometimes contradictory, evidence that was mounding up around them.

She could see the void left on the bloody sheets, showing where the girl's body must have been. She could see the wax just like the wax they had found on the girl's wrists. She could see how things must have happened. She just hated to think about it.

Hurrying down the hall, Grissom noticed Sara standing alone in the lay out room. He walked in and saw her staring at the sheets. "Checking my work?"

"Oh, I'm just looking around."

Sara continued to stare at the sheets. She had heard many times about criminalists who did their best work by getting into the mindset of the killer. She always tried to avoid this, feeling that she had spent enough time in the presence of two very violent people for most of her childhood to last a lifetime. In this case, though, she felt that it might be helpful to get into the mind not of the killer, but of the victim.

"What are you thinking?" Grissom asked. Even after years of working together, it never ceased to amaze him how Sara's mind worked.

Sara stepped closer to the sheet, describing the void she had observed, and her theory that the killer had been on top of the girl.

"Which would explain the transfer of wax from him to her," Grissom agreed.

"Yes," Sara said, smiling slightly at the obviousness of their conversation. She looked at Grissom for a moment. "Pin me down," she said thoughtfully.

Grissom complied at once, stepping closer to her and grabbing her raised wrists, holding them as though he would pin her against the sheet. She struggled against him, but he held her firmly in place. She described the victim's struggle for a moment.

"Afterward, when he got up, he put his hands on the sheets for leverage," she concluded.

"Like this," Grissom said.

Sara watched the movement of his hands as he released her wrists and moved them down beside her waist.

"Which explains how the wax got from him to the sheet," he said.

"Yes," Sara said firmly. She turned her head, looking away from his hands and into his eyes.

In a moment, something shifted between them. Only seconds ago, they had been two colleagues discussing a brutal murder; suddenly, she realized that she was trapped in the circle of his arms. She immediately felt uncomfortable, given their recent personal past, but also was reminded of a potential issue in her professional future.

"Grissom, I um …" She lowered her arms and he did the same, allowing her to step away from him, "Wanted to talk to you about something."

Grissom, completely oblivious to what had just happened in her mind, turned to face her, feeling a bit confused. "Go ahead."

Sara took a deep breath. "Well, you know I applied for the promotion to the Key position."

"Your application's on my desk," Grissom nodded.

"About that … I needed to know … I wanted to make sure, rather, that anything that happened, or didn't happen, between us won't be a factor."

Grissom had never been so confused in his life. What on earth was she talking about? What exactly did she think had happened between them? His mind raced through their long and tangled past, wondering if she meant the night that he had touched her cheek before leaving Berkley.

The blank look on his face was enough to convince Sara that he had no idea what she meant – which meant that their past certainly would not be a factor in his review of her application. She suddenly felt extraordinarily embarrassed for even bringing it up.

"Never mind," she said quickly. "I shouldn't have said anything. I'm always over talking around you."

She turned and was gone from the room before Grissom could even catch his breath. He stood still for a long time, staring at the spot where she had been, trying to work out her message.

It all came to him as though in a flash. She was afraid that he would not consider her for the promotion because she had asked him to go to dinner with her.

He shook his head, smiling slightly. How could she not realize by now, after working together for over three years, that he didn't work that way? Their personal lives were completely separate from their professional lives. It was the way he had always worked – the only way he knew how to work. This was the very thing he and Catherine had had such differences over. Despite what Catherine might believe, he knew that he was right. Their personal lives had no business in the lab.

A week later, Sara felt that enough distance had been put between her and Grissom that they could work together comfortably again. Grissom, for his part, had never felt all that much tension between them. He had noticed Sara looking at him oddly, but had not thought anything of it, and so did not question her about it.

He watched Sara and Nick walk past his office just before the start of their shift. They were both talking and laughing as they went into the locker room. Grissom watched as Nick held the door for Sara, putting his hand on the small of her back to guide her in. Sara did not appear to react to his touch. Grissom wasn't sure if he should take that as a sign that his hand was welcome or not.

He couldn't stop the odd, unidentifiable feeling that coursed though him. He didn't think that it was jealousy … he wasn't exactly jealous of Nick. He knew that Sara and Nick had been great friends ever since she had first come to Vegas, and he knew that their relationship was not unlike the one that he had Catherine shared. Even so, he found himself getting up from his chair and leaving his office to follow them into the locker room with their assignment.

"Nick, Sara, I've got a missing person for you to find," Grissom said, walking into the locker room.

"Child?" Nick asked.

Grissom shook his head. "Showgirl. I want you to get over there now. You know how much time is a factor in cases like these."

"Right," Nick said, taking the slip from him. "Ready, Sara?"

She nodded. "I'll drive."

Sara had worked plenty of missing persons' cases, but none like this. Within a day, the girl's face had been plastered all over the television as the media focused on her, making her the sweetheart of Las Vegas. Vigils were held for her, and the police department received countless useless tips regarding her whereabouts.

"Hundreds of showgirls in this town, and we have to find the one that everyone cares about," Nick sighed. "Talk about pressure."

Sara smiled. "But, think of how much acclaim we'll get when we find her."

"I just hope we do find her," Nick replied. "Only the people who successfully find missing showgirls get to be heroes. The rest …"

"Don't think like that," Sara said firmly. "We'll find this girl, Nicky. I know it."

As the poor girl's disappearance swelled into a high-profile, career-making case, Sara and Nick couldn't help but feel excited. They both had applied for the promotion to Key CSI, and were willing to work together on this case to achieve the shared glory that would make them stellar candidates.

Then, as quickly as the prestigious case came their way, it was gone. Catherine pulled rank, stating that as a senior CSI who had somehow managed to build up a rapport with the main suspect, she should be given the case.

To Sara's shock, Grissom sided with Catherine.

Nick took the loss of the case in stride. While he was angry, he did not let it affect his work. He adopted a "there's no 'I' in team" philosophy that made Sara want to scream. She didn't understand how he could be so calm about this.

Even more than that, she couldn't understand how Grissom could do this to her.

Grissom knew that he had hurt Nick and Sara with his decision. But, as the shift supervisor, he had to make decisions that would hurt someone. His first priority was to solve cases.

It only made sense to let Catherine take the case. As she had said herself, she had more years of experience than Nick and Sara. The suspect – the man they all were certain had taken their showgirl – liked Catherine and seemed more willing to work with her than with anyone else. While Grissom was not comfortable letting Catherine use her appearance or her sexuality to get information out of suspect, it did seem to work in this case. And, in the end, it was all about solving the case. And so the case went to Catherine.

Grissom's job was to make sure that criminals were arrested, not to make sure that Nick and Sara were promoted. In his opinion, the way that they handled this disappointment was more telling than anything they would have done while working the case.

Grissom also knew his team. Catherine was right; they were like a family. Families fought and had their differences, but they always came back together once their anger had passed. He knew that no matter how upset Nick and Sara were, they would forgive him and Catherine in the end.

They always did. They were a team.

As Grissom had anticipated, all was forgiven and forgotten within a few days. He was careful not to assign Nick and Sara to work with Catherine for about a week, just in case. In no time, they were back to working together, joking together, and going out to eat together. Grissom had to admit that he was relieved. He hated to see his "family" at odds with one another.

"Hey, guys, we've got to get to a scene."

Sara and Warrick put down their lunches and looked up at Catherine.

"We've got a nurse who was killed in her house," she said. "Grissom wants all hands on deck for this one. I'll meet you in the parking lot."

When they arrived at the house, they were stopped at the door by Brass.

"Don't go in," he said.

Catherine frowned. "You haven't cleared the scene yet?"

"It's clear."

Her frown deepened as a look of annoyance crossed her face. "Where's Grissom?"

"Inside. He's doing a walk-through."

"Oh. How long ago did he go in?"

"About five minutes."

Catherine nodded and stepped back. "We're going to have to wait till Grissom's done with the walk-through, guys."

Warrick groaned. "I could have finished my lunch!"

Grissom followed the path the coroner had pointed out, making his way down the hall. He entered the oversized bathroom and stopped short. The victim was curled up in the shower, her neck slashed and her head turned to face out into the room.

It wasn't the position of the body that stopped him. It was the appearance.

She could have been Sara.

This girl – Debbie Marlin – looked exactly like Sara. It took every bit of willpower he possessed to stop Grissom from pulling out his phone and calling Sara to make sure she was all right. But, no, he knew that she was fine. She had been in the break room when he left, talking with Warrick. She couldn't be this dead body in front of him.

But, somehow, it was like she was.

The fact that this girl looked enough like Sara to be her twin filled Grissom with an obsessive, almost insane, desire to find out what had happened to her. He would find justice for her. He would make sure that someone paid for this tragic crime.

He would not let this killer win. He would not let him steal the life from such a beautiful woman and go on to live his life without facing his guilt.

Catherine knew in a minute that Grissom's grip on his self-control was tenuous at best. As soon as she saw the look on his face when he walked out of the house, she could see how rattled he was. Something horrible had to have happened in that house to make him look like that.

He assigned Warrick to the victim's car and Sara to the perimeter, making it very clear that only Catherine could accompany him into the house. She did her best to hide her surprise. She had never known Grissom to bar his CSIs from the inside of a house before.

It wasn't until she saw Debbie Marlin that it made sense. This girl could have been Sara's sister. She could have been Sara. The resemblance was striking – and it was clearly the reason that Grissom was so shaken.

Catherine sighed. If only he would stop to analyze his feelings, he and Sara could be so much happier. She had always thought that they carried torches for each other; this scene proved that he did feel something for her.

But, as quickly as the thought came to her, she dismissed it. Grissom was not the type to analyze his feelings, or to allow romance into his life. She only hoped that Sara had moved on, because her chances of winning Grissom's heart were slim.

Grissom did his best to make sure that Sara stayed away from the house. He sent her back to the lab with the task of analyzing pipes and water to try to find useable DNA, while he, Catherine and Warrick remained at the scene. After working for hours, they discovered that not only Debbie Marlin had died; her boyfriend, a doctor at the hospital where she had worked, had been killed as well. Unlike Debbie, his body had not been left in one piece. The killer had cut him into small sections and thrown him out in various trashcans along the street.

When Sara heard about that, she had to admit that she was happier at the lab than piecing a man's body back together after digging him out of ten different trashcans. Even so, she was irritated that Grissom essentially would not allow her to return to the scene. How could she possibly help to solve a crime if she wasn't allowed to see where it had happened?

"Enjoying your time in the lab?"

Sara rolled her eyes at Greg. "Shouldn't you be doing a DNA profile for someone?"

He gave her a cheeky grin. "Grissom's sending me out into the field."

"What?" she gasped.

He nodded proudly. "I'm going to the hospital to do something with the doctors."

"Oh," Sara said, feeling a bit relieved. If Grissom had let Greg go into that house, but not her …

"Jealous?" he asked with the same teasing smile.

"Immensely," she replied, rolling her eyes again.

Greg's smile widened. "I'll tell you all about it when I get back."

"Do," Sara smiled. "I'll be waiting on the edge of my seat."

It was hours before Sara even saw Debbie Marlin's body. She was sure that she would never get close to the body at all until Catherine called her from the house and asked her to get the victim's toe prints.

Sara went into the morgue and pulled out the drawer holding their victim. She printed her toes, then finally glanced up at her face. She did a double take. This girl could be me

As she stared at the still, lifeless face of her double, everything became clear. Grissom's obsessive desire to solve the case, the fact that he had worked three shifts in a row searching for the clue that would make all the difference, all that Catherine had said about forcing him to stop long enough to eat … it all suddenly made sense.

He wasn't trying to solve this case for Debbie. He was trying to solve it for Sara.

Her thoughts swirled around like leaves in a stiff breeze. He had mildly flirted with her since the first day they had met. He had turned her down for dinner. He had bought her coffee all those years ago at Berkley. He had never once asked her to go out with him alone since she had come to Vegas. He had shared things with her that even Catherine didn't know. He had never done anything to suggest that he wanted a relationship with her. Everything about her relationship with this man had been a contradiction. How could she make sense of this new, bizarre development? What did his obsession with Debbie Marlin mean to her? To him? To their relationship – whatever that was?

Sara pressed her hands against her eyes, willing her mind to focus. She had to get these prints to Jacqui. She could think about Grissom later.

As the pieces came together, Grissom found himself in a frightening place. He was inside the mind of the killer.

He could see the parallels between himself and Dr. Lurie, the man they had determined was the one to kill Debbie and her boyfriend. Like Grissom, Dr. Lurie was a middle-aged man. Like Grissom, he had never married. Like Grissom, he had a gorgeous brunette working with him, offering him the chance at love that he was sure would never find its way into his life again.

Unlike Grissom, he took her up on it.

He didn't know what to do when she left him, when she let his fantastic dream crash down around him. And so, he had punished her – and her boyfriend – in the only way that a doctor would find strong enough. He robbed her of her life.

And, now, it was his turn to pay for what he had done.

As much as she hated to admit it, Sara found herself morbidly interested in this case. Once she realized how much she looked like Debbie Marlin, she was nearly as desperate as Grissom to find out what had happened to her. She wanted this girl's killer behind bars.

Sara made sure she was there to watch as Grissom and Brass interrogated Dr. Lurie. She knew as well as everyone else on the team that he had murdered Debbie Marlin. The problem was that they didn't really have enough evidence to prove it. Hopefully, Grissom and Brass would be able to elicit a confession from him. It didn't seem likely, but if anyone could do it, it would be these two.

They couldn't. Dr. Lurie sat emotionlessly as they described what had happened, and their theories as to how he had committed the crime. Sara felt a cold chill just looking at him from the other side of the glass, safe in the observation room. Even if they were wrong and he was innocent, how could he be so unaffected by the brutal murder of his former girlfriend?

The interview ended and Dr. Lurie and his attorney rose to leave. They were nearly out the door when Grissom spoke in a voice that seemed almost lost.

"It's sad, isn't it, Doc? Guys like us. A couple of middle aged men who've allowed their work to consume their lives. The only time we ever touch other people is when we're wearing our latex gloves. … We wake up one day and realize that for fifty years, we haven't really lived at all. … But, then, all of a sudden … we get a second chance. Somebody young and beautiful shows up, somebody … we could care about. She offers us a new life, with her. But, we have a big decision to make, right? Because, we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her. … I couldn't do it. … But you did. You risked it all. And she showed you a wonderful life, didn't she? … But then she took it away and gave it to somebody else. And you were lost. … So, you took her life. … You killed them both … and now you have nothing."

"I'm still here," Lurie said confidently.

"Are you?" Grissom asked in that same lost voice.

Dr. Lurie and his lawyer left, and Grissom's chin dropped to his chest as he exhaled. Sara watched in fascinated horror as he ran his hand over his eyes, barely acknowledging Brass as he walked out of the interrogation room. For one wild minute, fear filled her – what would Brass say if he saw Sara in the observation room? Did he know that Grissom had been talking about Sara? Would he put it together when he saw the look of horror on her face? When he saw the tears in her eyes? But, he walked the other way, leaving her alone to watch as Grissom silently fell apart.

He stayed with his head bowed for another moment, cradling it in his hands. Then, he took a deep breath and looked up, right at the place where Sara was standing. Even though she knew he couldn't see her, she couldn't help but gasp. As he stood up, she backed away. She left the observation room and just stopped herself from running as she left PD. She rushed to her car, and drove back to CSI as quickly as she could.

The last thing she wanted was for Grissom to know what she had heard. If he knew that she knew how he felt … everything between them would end. Their professional relationship and their friendship, strange and twisted though they were, would break. She knew after a break like that, there would be no way in the world to fix them.