Chapter 5: Christmas

Bella's POV

The strong fluttering in my stomach combined with hunger woke me from a deep sleep. As my foggy mind began to clear, I heard Edward humming his lullaby while feeling something cool rubbing against the newly forming lump where our baby was. I could still wear things like my sweats and larger sweat shirts, but my tight jeans no longer fit me and Alice was already talking about maternity clothes, something I didn't want to think about or discuss.

"When will our baby hear you?" I asked as I felt another nudge on my left side. As I felt that movement, Edward's hand slid over to that side. I opened my eyes gazing down at him, glad that so far he wasn't afraid, or at least he wasn't letting me know if he was.

"Usually by the twentieth week, but our baby might start hearing us earlier," he said as he pulled my long shirt back over my stomach before settling in our bed next to me.

"What time is it?"

"Half past seven, how about some breakfast?"

"I think that's why this one is kicking me," I admitted as he sat up and held out his hand. It was strange not having to worry about studying anymore. I'd already taken all my finals and all that was left was to wait for the grades.

Once I was on my feet and sure I wasn't going to fall over them, I walked over to my dresser and pulled out my favorite pair of gray sweats. "I think I'll call Charlie today," I said as I pulled my sweats over my belly. My father had called, and already knew we weren't coming for Christmas, something I'd agonized over until I made myself sick. The last thing I wanted was to lose contact with him, but right now we weren't taking any risks.

"I'm sure the chief would be happy to hear from you," my husband agreed as I pulled on my warm sweat shirt before taking his hand. As we walked into the kitchen, I looked out the window. I saw a winter wonderland and dropped my husband's hand. Last night it had been sleeting, but now huge flakes of snow were falling.

Like I did so much of the time now, I tried to imagine showing this to our baby. By next Christmas it wouldn't just be Edward and me, though I didn't know how that would all play out and quickly thought of something else before I started to worry.

My attention was pulled away from the snowy outdoors as I heard the sound of crackling bacon. The smell made my mouth water, and my stomach began to grumble. So far my appetite was still good, and thankfully the nausea was for the most part in the past. While my husband cooked for me, I got my plate and utensils setting them at the table before I went back for the cup. While reaching for the cup I felt our little one being active again. I rubbed my hand over my small bump amazed at how much our baby liked to move around.

While I was eating breakfast, with Edward in the seat next to me, we heard Alice announcing her presence at our front door. In a moment she was beside the table with snow flakes still in her dark hair.

I took another bite of eggs looking from her to my husband hating when they left me out of the conversation, "Alice?"

"Well, since there is only a week left before Christmas, I thought maybe you would want to go with us to find a tree."

I'd thought of that, and wasn't looking forward to driving into town. "I get so tired," I pointed out.

"It won't take long. There are several trees in the forest between our houses which we could use," Alice informed.

My gaze went from my sister to my husband, "We can cut one down?"

"That won't be a problem," Edward assured me as I felt the baby finally settling down.

After I'd bundled up, wearing the new boots Alice had ordered for me, we headed outside. A blast of cold wind hit my face and I shuttered wondering if going with them was such a good idea. I recalled the last time it had been so cold and quickly shut off that stream of thought. We didn't have to go too far into the forest before we found the perfect tree. It took Edward four swings with an axe to bring it down and once that was done I walked ahead of Edward and Alice, eager to get inside where it was warm.

A little later a fire was burning in the fireplace in our family room, and Alice and I were sorting through the ornaments she and I had ordered on line. All of them were handmaid and really pretty. "Do you normally celebrate Christmas?" I asked as I put a hook into a wooden plane with two bears piloting.

"Not in the traditional way, but now that we have you, and the baby, I think traditional will be the way we go."

I nodded as I picked up a round ornament made out of delicate crystal, "Are you putting a tree up at the other house?" When she smiled at me I knew the answer and felt excited about spending my first Christmas with my new family. I still wished Charlie could be a part of it and refused to let go of the hope that once the baby was born, and we knew more about whom he or she would be, he could join us.

The only thing that worried me was the presents I knew they were going to get for me. Even though I was now a part of the family, the feeling that I didn't really belong still haunted me. I'd been struggling with accepting what ever came on Christmas morning and told everyone that they should get presents for the baby and not me. Somehow I knew they would still shop for me, and I'd just have to try and get through it without getting overwhelmed.

~*~*~

Edward's POV

It was evident even as my wife slept that she was aware of the movement our baby was making. While Bella slept I pressed my lips to her abdomen singing softly to our child, hoping that very soon our voices would be able to calm our little acrobat down. I felt another nudge against my lips and at the same time Bella shifted, sighing. "You need to let your momma sleep," I said placing my hand firmly over the small lump that was our child.

Morning was quickly approaching and I wasn't certain how Bella would react. Reigning Alice in had never been easy and even with threats of dismantling her Porsche, my sister still went way overboard. Everyone in our family was excited to be celebrating Christmas with my wife, and I hoped eventually Bella wouldn't feel so out of place.

As our little one finally began to calm down, the first rays of sunlight began to shine through our window. My wife stirred next to me and I kissed her lips as she opened her eyes. "Merry Christmas." My words brought a smile to her face, and for the next few minutes we were perfectly content to stay where we were beneath the warm confines of the electric blanket and thick comforter.

"I guess we should get up," Bella said after another few minutes of cuddling and kissing.

"We don't have to just yet," I told her as I brushed her soft brown hair behind her left ear.

My wife was suddenly quiet and I gazed into her eyes, unable to figure out what she was thinking.

"How overboard did Alice go?"

"It's pretty bad," I admitted and she sighed.

"Most of it's for the baby right?"

"And some for you and the rest of us too," I reminded. Bella and I had gone into town to pick out gifts for the rest of the family, and my wife had enjoyed that part.

When she was ready we got up, and once Bella was dressed in something comfortable and warm we headed downstairs. I fixed her breakfast as she gazed out at the white winter wonderland and sat with her while she ate. While I was washing the dishes she wiped off the counter-tops and table, avoiding going into our family room where the tree waited with all the presents.

We sat in the front room and I played some Christmas songs for Bella while we waited for my family to arrive. Once they were all present and accounted for Alice placed her hands over Bella's eyes. I'd known before they got here that she wanted to take Bella upstairs first, and wasn't sure how my wife would react to what my sister was about to show her.

"Don't worry Bella, I won't let you slip. We are at the stairs so you need to step up."

Bella's heart was beating fast and I walked behind her keeping my hand on her shoulder. When we arrived at the top of the stairs Alice guided her to one of the spare rooms, the one Bella had picked out for our baby to use. Alice uncovered her eyes at the closed door and my wife backed against me.

Knowing that Bella was far too nervous to open the door, I reached past her and turned the knob. The room was dark so Alice went ahead of us and flipped on a light. My sister and the rest of the family had kept their thoughts from me, so I was as taken with the room as my wife was. The bare white walls were now the softest shade of pastel green and the white carpeted floor had been stripped down to the original wood beneath. The crib Bella had described to me the day she had gotten so overwhelmed was beneath the large window across from where we stood at the door.

My wife moved away from me to stand at the center of the room. I followed her gaze to the book shelf I'd put up upon Alice's request when the paint had dried before anything more had been moved in. There were all sorts of books lining the shelves all from literary artists from Hans Christian Anderson, to Kipling.

Bella's gaze shifted again to the hand carved wooden hobby horse next to the book shelf, and from there to the rocking chair so much like the one in Bella's room at Charlie's.

When I arrived at Bella's side she came into my arms and I held her for a moment as we both got a grip on our emotions. My wife moved away from me going over to Alice to hug her, "Thank you, this is so wonderful," Bella whispered.

"I hoped you would like this," Alice stated proudly.

After that we headed downstairs to the Christmas tree and my wife managed to get through the morning without too much upset. By lunch she was asleep on the sofa, her head resting on my lap as the rest of our family began to gather up their presents to leave. "Alice," I said softly before my sister could go.

When she arrived in front of me I held out my hand, "I can't thank you enough for the room," I whispered mindful of my wife so close to us.

"I hope that having that ready will give Bella something to look forward too, both of you for that matter." Jasper came to stand behind her and after I hugged Alice they left as did everyone else.

Just as I was about to stand and carry Bella upstairs she opened her eyes with a start, "What is it?"

"I haven't felt the baby move since this morning," Bella stated as I helped her sit up.

Typically our little one was very active until after lunch, but given the amount of excitement and emotion Bella had gone through this morning I wasn't concerned, "We had a big morning," I pointed out placing my hand over the slight lump of her stomach.

Her heart beat returned to normal and she leaned into my arms, "Seeing that room brought everything into place for me," Bella admitted, "I'm also wondering how much use we are going to get out of that room."

"What do you mean?" I asked a little confused by her statement.

My wife lifted her head away from me turning so that we could see one another, "Do you think anyone is going to let the baby sleep there when all of you don't need to sleep and can hold our little one?"

Suddenly I understood what she was saying and considered that. It was difficult for me not to lay with my wife all night, watching her sleep. When we had our baby with us, could I honestly agree to leaving him or her in that giant room alone, or even in the bassinet Rosalie and Emmett had gotten that would stay in our room. I liked having Bella right next to me, and I had a feeling my wife was correct in her assumption, "You may be right," I answered as she smiled before leaning back into my arms.

~*~*~

Bella's POV

When I woke up I heard the TV going and some sort of game was playing in the background. Other voices were present and as I opened my eyes Edward was kneeling next to the sofa. The look on his face was one of worry and for a moment I didn't know why he would be worrying. That was when I realized that I'd woken up on my own without our baby's movement disturbing my sleep. Carlisle was approaching us and I shot up, "Why isn't the baby moving?"

My husband sat down on the sofa and pulled me into his arms, "Love, we think one part of the dream you had was correct," he began and I knew without him saying it what our baby needed. In my dream I liked drinking blood. Thinking about that now caused the nausea to hit full force and Carlisle had a bowl ready for me as I began to heave.

I shut my eyes willing myself to be strong. If our child needed blood then I couldn't deny that. "I don't want to see," I whispered feeling clammy and uneasy.

"Edward, promise me that if the baby gets stronger and if the kicking hurts me you will still love her," I whispered without thinking about gender at this point.

I felt his kiss on top of my head, "I will be strong for both of you," he vowed, though I could hear the fear in his voice.

When I felt a cup being pressed into my hands I began to shake so Edward helped me hold it. I held my breath thinking over and over that this had to help our baby, not willing to think of what would happen if our baby continued to remain still. "Can you hear the heart beat?"

"It's not as fast as it should be," Carlisle answered when my husband couldn't.

After a moment I drew in my first mouthful of blood and nearly spit it out. I forced myself to swallow it knowing that I had to do this. It felt like an eternity before I drained the first cup of blood and remarkably I had managed to do it without throwing up. I still felt shaky and very tired, and was glad Edward was holding me. "Should I try another cup?" I asked as I opened my eyes.

"Let's see how this one sits with you," Carlisle said as he pressed his fingers against my wrist.

As he was taking my pulse my cell went off and Edward flipped it open and pressed it to my ear, "Hello?"

"Merry Christmas," Jacob said and I managed a smile.

"Hey Jake," I said settling closer to my husband as he wrapped his arms more securely around me.

"I just thought I'd call. How are you, you sound tired."

He was too observant, but I already had my excuse, "We got up at the crack of dawn thanks to Alice and I've been opening presents all morning."

Jacob chuckled.

"Shut up. How was your morning?"

"Pretty good. Billy got me a kick ass stereo for the Rabbit. I'm going to try and install it later on. What about you, what all did they get for you?"

I grumbled when I thought of the lap top Edward had gotten for me, "My husband got a lap top for me, and I'm about to try and figure that one out. It's a lot different than the computer I got from Charlie. Have you guys seen him today?"

"Not yet, but he is going to Sue's for a big Christmas lunch. I wish you guys could have come down," he mumbled.

"I know, but this year I kind of wanted to spend it here," I said struggling so my voice wouldn't sound shaky.

Jacob paused and I was glad when someone called out his name, "Bells, I need to go, but take care okay?"

When he hung up I shut my eyes and was glad when Edward took the phone away, "I need something to get my mind off of all of this," I whispered.

"We could always get your computer hooked up," Edward suggested, still holding me securely in his arms.

What I wanted was his lips on mine and his hands reeking havoc on my body, but I still felt shaky and queasy and knew that right now I needed to cool that part of me.

A few minutes later my computer was powered up and I got online checking my email. There was one from Renee wishing us a Merry Christmas from Cancun, and I couldn't help but smile. Phil made her happy and that was all that mattered to me.

By evening the baby had started moving again, and I'd drunk down my second cup of blood. My own stomach was churning and all I could handle aside from the blood was ice chips. Carlisle said our baby's heart rate was picking up again which was a relief.

In our room I sat Indian Style folding a stack of baby clothes Edward had run through the wash for me. He had gone hunting with his brothers and Carlisle. Alice was staying with me, giving me some time alone, something I found I wanted after such a stressful day.

The next article of clothing I picked up was a small gown, something either a boy or girl could wear. It was hard to believe that something so tiny could fit a baby, and I tried not to think about my dream and the first time I'd seen our baby after I'd gone through the transformation. I'd been thinking a lot about that, and if it was possible I'd stay human after our baby was born. I knew Edward would be thrilled, but I wasn't willing to tell him until we knew one way or another.

"Bella?" Alice called out from my bedroom door.

"Come in," I told her, setting the folded gown on top of the other two.

"I brought more ice for you," she said as she set the cup down on my bedside table, "What do you think about all of the outfits we got for the baby?" Alice sat down on the edge of the bed and began to folding some small onesies.

"It still doesn't feel real. I feel the baby kicking me and I feel like this is all some dream."

We were both quiet as we folded the rest of the outfits and blankets, and I was glad that Alice seemed to know I needed that quiet to get a grip on all of this. Once we finished she carried the laundry basket as I followed her down the hall and around the banister to the baby's room, "I keep wondering how much use we are going to get out of this room," I said as Alice began to put the clothes and blankets into the dresser that went with the rest of the furniture. I walked over to the hobby horse and ran my hand over the soft mane, trying to picture my baby playing on that.

"I don't think Edward is going to ever let your baby rest on its own," she agreed and we both managed to laugh at that. I'd had the same feeling and hoped we could agree that at some point our child would sleep in a crib just as any other baby would.

~*~*~

Edward's POV

Holding Bella in my arms, I tried not to think of the struggle she was having while she drank down the cup of blood I held in my hands. Our baby's heart beat was back to its normal hum, but my wife's appetite wasn't what it had been before she had to start drinking blood. The only good of this for her was that she had more energy. My feelings for our baby had changed. I no longer hated our child or thought of it as an abomination. My anger was more at myself for not seeing this coming.

When Bella finished the cup of blood, I quickly took it away back to the kitchen while she rested on our sofa watching a more modern version of a Christmas Carol.

"Edward, will you bring another cup of ice chips and maybe some saltines?"

"Yes, love," I answered as I quickly got out what she needed. Once I was seated on the sofa next to her, Bella rested her head on my lap before I lifted her up and slid a pillow under her head, covering her with a soft blanket.

"Do we have any plans for New Years?"

"I don't think so, but I'm sure we could make some if that's what you want."

She bit into a cracker and I waited while she chewed it up and swallowed, "I was just thinking it might be nice for all of us to get together," Bella told me as she reached for her cup of ice chips.

"Do you want to do something here or at the big house?"

"Here, I think. I want to do something nice for all of you because you made this such a great Christmas for me."

"That was for all of us," I pointed out leaning over her and pressing my lips against hers. I'd never felt so normal, like any other married man about to be a father.

We parted when Bella needed to take a breath and as her eyes shut I turned the volume on the TV down just a little. Gently I placed my hand on her swollen abdomen feeling our baby moving around. Maybe everything would be alright, and we could have it all, but I knew from bitter experience that just when we were truly happy something would sneak up to try and steel it away. I pushed those thoughts away as my wife slept and focused on the moment feeling our baby fluttering against my hand feeling ready for our future.

~*~*~

A/N: Hey everyone, I hope you all liked what you read. I'm trying really hard not to rush this story, because I'm ready for them to have the baby at this point, but I'm working to keep a good pace. Having said that I already have the next few chapters ready for Mac to Beta read. I'll post another one on Friday. Thank you all for stopping by and thanks for all the great reviews. I really do enjoy getting input so keep that up.

Mac Thanks as always for the Beta

~Ella~