Results
Chapter Arbitrarily Defined As 12
AN: I can't remember which chapter I'm on and can't be bothered to check. Therefore this is chapter twelve. We're returning to the Naruto-verse for now.
Edit: Adding the normal stuff that I forgot this time.
This chapter is dedicated to the hard-working folks at Dattebayo and the GNAA. This chapter is also dedicated to everyone but Slacker, for reasons beyond our control.
(scene change)
Nabiki watched silently as Ranma and the other four left the village. She held a Konoha ninja headband in one hand, and shadowed her eyes with the other. "I'd wanted to show him..."
(scene change)
"So how are we planning to track her?" Ranma asked, cautiously.
"We have her description, as well as a village where she was last seen." Jiraiya began, idly. "In fact, there it is now." He finished, pointed, as the tops of several roofs appeared on the horizon.
"Let's ask around. Someone has to know where she went."
(scene change)
Gaara looked closely at the small boulder in the middle of the training ground. He stood not more than twenty feet away from it, looking it over and noting that it still had fresh dirt caked to it from where he had pulled it free of the ground and shoved it back in a vertical position. A good target for a powerful move, he mused, and began making hand signs.
"Torrent of Sand!" He said, softly, and the sand in his gourd flew out in a concentrated stream about a foot in diameter. It struck the rock, eroding it decades in the span of seconds. With a grunt, Gaara gritted his teeth and the flow changed into barely an inch wide. It drilled through the rock in half a second.
He smirked. The sand began to circle around the rock, going through the hole like some sort of deranged, twisted, wriggling piercing. With another hand sign, he called out a little louder.
"Sand Explosion!"
The sand violently expanded within the hole in the rock, blasting the entire rock into small shards.
"Perfect." Gaara said to himself, and began to scan the training field for more large rocks. Instead, he quickly found himself face to face with a blond girl about his height who had wandered onto the field while he was working on his technique.
Ino, meanwhile, was marveling at the power of the ninja's jutsu while simultaneously readying for battle. "What are you doing here?"
Not noticing the hostility in her voice, Gaara responded with no emotion. "Training. This isn't a private ground, is it?"
Confounded by his answer, she stood a little straighter and rephrased. "I mean, weren't you a sound-nin at the exams? Aren't we at war?"
Gaara sighed. "The news hasn't spread so fast, has it? My team has joined the leaf." He pointed to the leaf symbol on the strap of his gourd, one of the least intended uses for a headband in the history of ninja.
"Wow." Ino said, still a little confused. "Um, can I use this training ground also? My team is too lazy so I have to train alone..." Her words degenerated into mumbling.
Gaara felt uncomfortable. "Uhh..."
"What was that?" Ino asked, leaning a little closer.
Gaara blushed, and fell backwards.
(scene change)
"You called for me?" Sasuke was never a loud-spoken boy, but his voice hinted at more than annoyance as he stared at the obnoxious and twig-like council member standing before him.
"Hm, yes. Uchiha Sasuke. The Leaf, in this time of crisis, has been forced to make many connections and alliances to stay powerful and survive. More so without our Hokage. So..."
He was interrupted by a knocking on the door. Before the chuunin guard could open it, it swung open, hitting the guard in the face. Nabiki Tendo barged into the room.
"This had better be worth my time!" Nabiki yelled, "I was about to leave on a mission when your messenger found me!"
"Er, yes, this is a little more important. See, as I was saying, Konoha is in a tenuous position, barely balancing at the top by calling in favors and the like. We must look now more than ever towards the future of our clans and of our village. Therefore..."
Sasuke was a little confused as to how this involved him at all. Nabiki, however, looked over at Sasuke and began to get the idea.
"We must inform the two of you that, as an executive council decision on two wards of the village, the orphaned Sasuke Uchiha and the parentless Nabiki Tendo are to be engaged, to be married when Sasuke turns fourteen."
Sasuke was pretty shocked. "What? Why?" Actually shouting for once, he took a step forward.
Nabiki just shook her head. "I should have known..."
The council member nervously continued. "The Tendo Clan, as much of it as we have seen in Konoha, has a genetic affinity for the Uchiha Clan's Sharingan. That is to say, if the two of you were to have children it is almost certain they would possess the Sharingan. Nabiki and her sister Kasumi may or may not awaken the Sharingan in their lifetimes, but as Nabiki is the closest to your age, it is the best match. We have even tested her blood to be certain – she has the genes for it."
Nabiki took her turn to growl. "Don't I have any say in this?"
Ignoring her, the councilman continued. "This also relieves your sister of the trouble of keeping you in her small apartment – for the duration of your engagement and presumably after the marriage you will live with Sasuke on the Uchiha grounds. I assume you'll want to live in the same house though you'll have your choice of any of the houses and mansions that Sasuke will inherit when he comes of age."
Sasuke turned to Nabiki. "Weren't you going to object?"
Nabiki looked at Sasuke, a silly grin on her face. "What's there to object about? Come on, lover, let's go get my things and take them to these mansions of yours..." Inside, Nabiki was content. 'Hey, and the kid's cute too.'
(scene change)
Ranma shivered for the umpteenth time. 'Why does every single one of their jutsu have to be cat-based??' she thought, before dodging another tri-forked blast of chakra labeled by the enemy as a "cat-strike."
They had come upon the "Cat-Clan" of missing-nin while looking for Tsunade. Apparently, Tsunade had skipped out on some gambling debts, and the Cat-Clan was going to take it out of any of her friend's flesh.
Ranma was annoyed because all of this cat-crap was preventing her from contributing meaningfully to the fight. She was useless!
Suddenly, the leader of the cat-clan, his cat-ears atop his helmet slouching slightly, called out above the sounds of the battle. "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"
Ranma looked at the huge summon and blacked out.
(scene change)
Ino was quickly at his side. "Sorry, did I push you or anything?"
Gaara sat up, and scooted backwards to avoid being close. "No. I'm just..."
Ino stepped closer to hear better, but Gaara stood and unsteadily stepped back again. "I haven't been this close to anyone other than Ranma."
Ino was a little confused. "Close?"
Gaara looked down. "Physically close. No one wants to be near me normally. I'm not used to this. Even Ranma likes to keep his distance, but he does go within my shield-range on occasion."
"Uh, he?" Ino asked, wondering about the slip of the tongue.
"Er, she, I guess. My sand isn't controlled unless I spend chakra on it – it reacts on its own to protect me. Only Ranma's ever gotten past it before – well, and that Lee kid was fast enough, but didn't manage it."
"How do you get it to react without chakra?"
Gaara's eyes darkened. "Before I was a missing-nin, I was the son of the Kazekage. They sealed an ancient power in me, at the cost of my mother's life. I was told that the sand was attached to me by her spirit and would protect me out of love... and also protect what I love." Gaara looked up. "I think, though, that it is more my own feelings that can direct it rather than a ghost."
"That's... that's so sad!" Ino suddenly raised her voice. "Your father killed your mother just so you could have power over sand? What kind of family did you have?"
Gaara looked surprised, then began to think. "That wasn't a family. My family is Ranma and Haku."
Ino just looked at him, and tried to image living with only one person ever having touched you at all...
(scene change)
Sasuke was actually to the point of open resistance. "So, I have to carry YOUR stuff to MY house so you can live there and to top it off, we first have to go on a shopping trip with MY money to get YOU more stuff for ME to carry?"
Nabiki chuckled. "You have plenty of money, lover, and I'm sure you should spend it on your beloved wife-to-be."
"Oh? Why's that?" Sasuke lifted an eyebrow.
"Because I'm so hot, that's why." Nabiki said, matter-of-factly.
"I have plenty of hot girls who'd love to be with me – what makes you so special?" Sasuke asked, under his breath, but Nabiki heard.
"Those girls your age? Listen, boy, I have something those twelve-year-olds couldn't compete with."
"Oh yeah? What's that?"
"These." Nabiki said, cupping her breasts seductively. 'Not as big as when I was seventeen, but more than this kid's ever had shaken at him!' she thought smugly.
"... Which store did you say we were going to first?"
(scene change)
A scene of pure destruction was visited upon the eyes of Ranma Saotome as she awoke slowly, managing to sit up from her previous relaxed position of being crumpled in a heap on the ground. Blood was everywhere, on the tattering Cat-Clan banner, on the destroyed Cat-Clan hideout, on the bodies of the Cat-Clan, and little splatters of it were left on what remained of the Cat-Clan summoning contract scroll – suspiciously like her own handprints.
"Ah, my b... Ranma, awake I see?" Happosai said calmly. "Jiraiya still hasn't recovered."
"What... happened?" Ranma asked, dazedly.
"You went cat, m'boy. Their leader summoned a huge cat, and you just went mad. Well, not the easiest way to defeat them but, as I always say, BOOBIES!!!" And with that, he attempted a grab at Ranma's "assets," his lunge blocked by the first thing Ranma could find – Jiraiya's slumped form.
Naruto and Kankurou huddled together in a corner of the courtyard, shaking with fear.
"You- you're worse than..." Naruto began, before remembering his own berserk mindset when the fox had taken him over during training.
Ranma stalked over to the two slowly. "How'd Jiraiya get hurt anyway?"
Kankurou began. "Well, when you had finished with the Cat-Clan, you began to circle around. You seemed to be less hostile, so Jiraiya tried to cop a feel."
Naruto finished the story. "When you hit Jiraiya so hard that it demolished the whole building, Happosai-sensei hit you over the head with the pipe. Then you woke up."
(scene change)
AN: That was short. What the heck? Write more! Oh wait, I'M ME. Sheesh. Now that the important matchups have been decided, you all are allowed to vote on the less important ones. YOU MAY VOTE FOR ANY TWO OR THREE CHARACTERS NOT INCLUDING GAARA, INO, NABIKI, or SASUKE. That is, any vote including two or three names will be a vote for that matchup for example:
Review: I vote for a Chouji, Sakura, and Kakashi matchup!
This would be taken as some sort of sick freak and as a vote for ChoujixSakuraxKakashi.
Kuno-Asshole, signing out.
OMAKE 1:
Kankurou began. "Well, when you had finished with the Cat-Clan, you began to circle around. Then, you just sort of lied down."
Naruto finished the story. "When you fell asleep, Jiraiya and Happosai pounced. That's why you're naked."
Ranma punctuated the story by burning their bodies after killing them.
Omake 2:
Nabiki took her turn to growl. "Don't I have any say in this?"
Addressing her, the councilman continued. "Well, we didn't think you'd be unhappy with this, considering his penis size..."
Sasuke turned to Nabiki. "Weren't you going to object?"
Nabiki looked at Sasuke, a silly grin on her face.Omake 3:
"Wow." Ino said, still a little confused. "Um, can I use this training ground also? My team is too lazy so I have to train alone..." Her words degenerated into mumbling.
Gaara felt uncomfortable. "Uhh..."
"What was that?" Ino asked, leaning a little closer.
Gaara blushed, and his sand flew out, crushing her to death just like that rock moments before. "Shit, I wish that would stop happening. How will I ever have sex if my sand kills everything near me?"
Looking again at the mutilated corpse, Gaara considered the possibilities. "Nah."