Results
Chapter Snickerdoodle: I'm not really back, this story is dead!
AN: Just confirming that this story is totally dead! It won't be updated! In fact, this isn't even an update! In fact, all of the things I write are dead!
AN: I'm just kidding! Probably. Wow, it's been a long time, Results! I got distracted by many things, some more important that you and some less. I also started writing other stories, some of which I am ashamed of. Well, as this story is pure and unadulterated CRACK, I figured it's ok to resume late! Let me get back into the swing of things! IKUZE!
AN AGAIN! As usual, if anyone wants to rewrite/proofread/add scenes, feel free to do it and send it to me. I have neither the time nor the inclination to clean this story up, but many of you have offered/requested such service! Also, joke recommendation by PM ONLY PLEASE. Do not leave reviews that are nothing but some joke you thought up one day! It's disrespectful to the people who want to read the reviews to find out how much the story sucks! HAHA, Author Notes are such a great way to express yourself! I will quit my livejournal POST HASTE. And even as I write this, I am re-reading Results, and thinking, Kuno, Tatewaki… man, you are a whackjob, where did you even think of these things?
This story is dedicated to Koushi Rikudo, creator of Excel Saga and master of madness, and also to Nabeshin, my old comrade! And also to everyone but Slacker, who is still the VICTIM OF MY HATRED FOREVER. I love you, buddy.
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Ino grabbed his hand suddenly, kneeling down to look at him face-to-face. "You mean that aside from your sister… you have never felt a person's loving touch?"
Gaara scratched his head with his free hand. "Mostly Ranko punches me," he said, jokingly. Unfortunately for him…
Ino took him seriously.
"You poor thing! " She yelled, and wrapped her arms around his neck in a strangling hug. Gaara barely managed to loosen her hold before she started to tear up. "I need to show you the love of another human being!" Ino said, suddenly.
'And it doesn't hurt that he's a hottie!' She thought to herself, admiring his serious face and powerful arms.
(scene change)
Ranma shivered, remembering the Cat Clan as they walked through yet another small town. His musing was interrupted as both Happosai and Jiraiya stopped. Paying closer attention to his environment, he sensed something as well.
Jiraiya turned slowly to Happosai. "Old friend ... do you feel that?" He asked seriously.
Happosai nodded. "Yes… I sense a powerful… HOTTIE!" With that, the two of them jumped high above the crowd, coming to rest grasping the breasts of a random but attractive pedestrian.
"IDIOTS!" Ranma dispensed vigilante justice as she yelled, badly bruising their naughty bits with well placed kicks.
Jiraiya and Happosai crumpled to the ground. Naruto and Kankurou clutched their own balls as Ranma lead them further into the town.
(scene change)
A red-and-black cloaked form stood over the body of Nii Yugito, once Jinchuuriki of the Nibi no Nekotama. Another cloaked form with a spiraling mask stood farther back.
"Wow, sempai, you're so strong!" Tobi said, his mask obscuring his face.
The other Akatsuki member grinned and held his katana above his head. "The Red Blade of Akatsuki triumphs again! The vengeance of heaven is slow but sure!" Kuno Tatewaki grinned as red lightning flared in the background.
AN: Oh come on, as if no one was expecting that… Actually, after so long it might be hard to remember what to expect…
(scene change)
Nabiki settled happily into the spacious, luxurious couch in Sasuke's favorite building in the Uchiha section of the town. Overall, he had an entire neighborhood, some 30-40 buildings, most of which were fit for entire families of royalty. Such extravagance! Life was good.
Sasuke settled happily next to her, turning the TV on. He unconsciously put his arm around her shoulders, and she grinned evilly.
As soon as the television show started and Sasuke was distracted, Nabiki grabbed his hand and placed it on her breast. "Oh, Sasuke-kun! So forward! "
Sasuke, despite knowing it was entirely her fault, blushed. "S-sorry…"
"Ha-ha, so easy to manipulate…" Nabiki closed her eyes and laughed, and Sasuke's eyes flashed.
He moved his face in, and Nabiki's eyes opened just as his lips met hers.
Nabiki gasped around the kiss, and put her own arm around him, holding his hand to her breast with her other hand. Sasuke moaned softly, then pulled back. "Urk! Tongue???"
"You started it… or maybe I did?" Nabiki grinned perversely. "I think… we need more practice. Shall we… continue?"
Sasuke nodded, half dreading it yet completely erect.
AN: Wow, I almost wrote a lemon there! Oops, against site policy! Doh!
(scene change)
AN: Again, so soon? Anyway, I am posting this because I think it's funny, even though it isn't. I have to cut it short because otherwise it would cut me painfully! I think in bursts, semi-automatic!
OMAKE:
"Wow, sempai, you're so strong!" Tobi said, his mask obscuring his face.
The other Akatsuki member grinned and held his katana above his head. "The Red Blade of Akatsuki triumphs again! The vengeance of heaven is slow but sure!" Kuno Tatewaki grinned as red lightning flared in the background. 'And since I'm not only the author's favorite character, I'm also his namesake, I can't possibly lose! '
OMAKE NUMERO DOS:
As soon as the television show started and Sasuke was distracted, Nabiki grabbed his penis and placed it on her breast. "Oh, Sasuke-kun! So forward! "
AN: Throughout writing this scene, Microsoft Word tried to change Sasuke to Sauce. Fufufufufu.
OMAKE NUMERO TRES:
"You poor thing! " She yelled, and wrapped her hands around his penis. "I need to show you the love of another human being!"
AN: I don't know! I'm just dirty minded today.