Valentines Day

Naruto goes around asking for advice. Me trying to be funny.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Crackish pairings, yuri. I had to up the rating for this chapter.

Naruto woke up, knowing he'd be facing a restless night, either way. He got into his 'target practice' orange jumpsuit. He walked around, internally panicking, wondering how on earth he'd go through with this.

Gaara decided he'd find the woman, and just say it. He'd get shot down, and life returns to normal. He started walking around the city systematically.

He found her sitting in a tree in a park at around noon. He thanked the kami for his nerves of steel; otherwise he'd be sweating a waterfall.

He actually stood there for half an hour, having not thought his confession through at all. Eventually she noticed him looking at the ground. The brief thought of asking him on a date came to mind, but left almost immediately. Like anyone would want to be seen with her.

Gaara looked up as she looked down, and there was a very long, awkward pause. Then Gaara said, "May I ask you something?"

"Shoot." was her slightly blunt reply.

"Would you like to go on a date sometime?" he said, clearly and quietly.

Oh my god…someone actually wants to date me…

"That would be nice. How about now?" She said as she jumped down from the tree, landing on her feet.

"I guess…" Gaara was actually expecting to get shot down for the nth time in his life, so he had no clue on what to do.

After a good bit of quiet, he asked her. "Do you have any idea what we're supposed to do for a date?"

"Err…no. Let's have some sex, and see if anything happens from there."

Gaara stood there, baffled by her response. At least he had a vague idea here. He'd watched some porn with his brother a while back. He was ten at the time, so he thought they were fighting.

Temari explained it to him after he had asked her what the hell was going on. She spent the next hour yelling at Kankuro for being a pervert, and burned all his porn. Most girls would do the same if someone showed that to her little brother.

Anyways….

They went back to her place, and after a very dry conversation, they got naked. Anko knew exactly what to do, and Gaara kind went along for the ride. He was a little nervous to take off his sand-armor, but he did it anyway, because no one wants a sandy vagina.

She was kind of surprised at the size of the boy. You could say correctly that he was hung like a horse. Or, more correctly, horses are hung like Gaara. One touch brought it up, and she stuck his enormous member straight in her mouth. He stood there casually. She didn't mind. He was better than her usual nighttime companion. Mainly because he doesn't require batteries. Eventually she got tired of him being unresponsive, so se threw him on her bed, summoned a couple snakes, and they bound him to the bed.

"Sorry to be so mean, Gaara."

She then fucked his brains out. She had him straddled and serpent-tied spread-eagle, face up. He was starting to occasionally grunt. He came, but used some chakra to hold it up. A weird jutsu he'd developed on one his free nights. After what seemed like hours, but was really only twenty hot, steamy minutes, she came. She's not satisfied, though, is she?

She sat on his face and said, "Eat me out. Now." He complied. He applied some tongue to his efforts. He was making a lot of noise, but he was silent as ever. After two orgasms she said, "Not bad. Not bad at all."

Gaara said, "I'm hungry. You want to get something, Anko-chan?"

Her tactless reply was, "Gaara-kun, you just ate."

"You know what I mean." He said, in all seriousness

"I could use a snack." She said off-handedly.

She undid the snakes, and they got dressed, and Gaara reattached his armor.

They walked out, his arm around her waist, hers lazily slung over his shoulder.