Chapter 1
Terri glanced up at the alarm clock on her nightstand. She rolled back over on her back and looked up at the ceiling. She hadn't been able to sleep for days, and she knew why. Today was the day when he had died just last year. Terri's unconsciousness felt it, too… resulting in the past sleepless nights. She briefly shook her head and swung her legs over the edge of her bed, kicking aside her covers at the same time. She allowed her feet to find the floor and got up, rubbing her eyes out with one hand as she pushed aside the curtains with the other. Flagstaff was still dark and quiet outside. It was still early, too, but at least this would be an acceptable time to wake up. It was around six in the morning. Terri usually didn't get up before seven-thirty.
She hadn't been sleeping at all, and she realized that she must have waited until it was late enough to get up. Today was her last day at school before the summer holidays, and even though she should be happy about it, it also reminded her of something not so nice. Terri let go of the curtain, letting it fall back into place, and padded towards the door. She closed it behind her silently so as not to wake up her parents in the room straight across hers and walked towards the stairs.
Instead of making her way downstairs, though, her glance caught something that lead her to the room next to hers, the first door on your left when you came up the stairs. She swallowed and pushed down the door handle. Paul's room looked as if he still lived there, except for the empty closets and unmade bed. Paul's clothes and everything had been given to charity. His personal things, like his guitar and CDs and more of that, were in a box on the bottom of his wardrobe. His posters were still hanging in the same place and his radio was still in the same spot as it had always been. Terri walked over to it and found the first CD of Three Days Grace in it. In the past year, they had gotten out another album. One Paul would never buy.
Terri bit her bottom lip and clasped the lid closed again, she sat on the mattress of what used to be Paul's bed and took a deep breath trying not to cry. Her right hand reached up to clasp over Paul's necklace. Oh, she missed him. And now she had failed to fulfill his last wish. He had been the one to get her into Bristol-Hillman with his DVD. It had been the scariest, hardest, best thing that had ever happened to her, and now, through all the stress of finishing her exams, she had simply forgotten about sending the application. By the time she had time to remind herself of doing it, the final application date had already striven by. "I'm sorry, Paul..." Terri whispered, and started crying.
Rays of sunshine peeked through the curtains, filling the room with light and warming the girl's face. She used the finger tips of her shaking right hand to brush away the tears and got up, walking to the wardrobe and opening one of its doors to reveal the box in which she knew Paul's personal things were kept. It hurt to see how such an energetic and amazing human being like her brother could be reduced to a box of little things. She knelt down in front of the box, and opened it to look inside. A sad smile washed over her face as she reached out and pulled out the crazy furry ball he used to have in his car, on the rear view mirror. She couldn't help but smile a little upon seeing it again. He'd once won it at the funfair with pellet shooting.
She dropped the furry ball again, picking up the heavy box and carrying it to the bed, sitting down next to it and running her finger tips over its contents. Her fingers slid over something metal and she caught it curiously. His keys. She easily recognized their house key, of which she had one exemplar herself, and his car key. She swallowed again. The car had been total loss after the accident. The left side had been damaged beyond repair, she'd heard her dad inform her mom a couple of days after the accident. The left side, where Paul had sat. She clutched the keys tightly in her hand until it hurt, then dropped them back into the box.
Terri changed her mind. Even though it had been a year, she couldn't do this yet. It was too soon. She wasn't strong enough yet. She closed the box again and stood up with it, placing it back on the bottom of the wardrobe, closing its open door. She sighed and noticed how the bedroom was more enlightened than before. Terri's eyes traveled one last time over the room, over the picture on his nightstand: the same one of her with her brother that she… Terri heard some noise further along the hallway, indicating that her parents were getting up, too.
She silently closed the door to Paul's room behind her and walked downstairs, hoping that her mom had brought a new pack of cornflakes from the store yesterday.