I always thought that I was on the verge of breaking. My existence, with no past to support it, was like a flame caught in the wind, fighting back desperately with all it's might against the inevitable. My will was nothing prodigious, just a sorry speck when compared to the burning passion of the exorcists I was created to massacre. Surly, I had already began to fracture. Going so long with no indispensable will, no past to look back at or fellow to leave my mark on; surly I was fractured. My limit-how long I could hold out against the pressure, I wasn't sure, but I wondered if it would be longer than Jasdevi's window. The rain, assaulting the window with a barrage of wet bullets, was relentless. With the storm progressing as it was, we were lucky Jasdero had suggested coming inside.
David and Jasdero sat side by side on their bed, Jasdero holding a hand mirror as David applied his black eye makeup meticulously. For such loud people, I never thought I'd see David pay such close attention to detail... I didn't think he was capable of sitting still for so long... It wasn't that I meant to insult Jasdevi, but rather I was both genuinely surprised and impressed.
While the two brother's worked on their makeup I sat on the ground, my clothes and hair still drenched. I was in such a rush to get them towels I forgot to get one for myself.
"So, Rain," David began, "What's it like being an akuma? I've never really talked to one before."
I paused. It's hard to describe what being an akuma is like when you don't know what it's like to be anything else. "It's alright." Nameless, genderless, hopeless. My expectations were too low if I was calling being an akuma "alright".
"What's your true form?" David pried.
I seldom saw Eliade's true form... only twice did I actually lay eyes on her like that... Like her, I hate my "true form". There's no story behind it. When I have this face, I can wonder what kind of past went along with it...but... as an akuma, the best place I could have in a story is as the monster. I thought before finally answering, "It's kind of tentacle-ish."
"Tentacle-ish?" Jasdero raised an eyebrow, David taking the mirror from him and handing him the garish box so that he could reapply his makeup as well.
"Yeah," I gestured my hands about, "Like snakes."
"Like snake or octopuses, they're different." David asked.
"Like both." I shrugged.
"Show us!" David grinned.
"Yeah! Yeah!" Jasdero cheered.
It's not like I can say no to them...Besides, I don't detest my akuma form that much, it is somewhat more comfortable then being in this petite form... but still... I got to my feet, and sighed, preparing to shed my skin like a vile, akuma butterfly.
"Wait..." I paused at David's command. "Weren't we supposed to do something?"
"I dunno." Jasdero blinked.
"Yeah, there was something we wanted to do with Rain..."
"See him turn into an akuma?" Jasdero suggested.
"Other than that..."
"Yeah..." The two sat in thought.
"I think you wanted to play poker." I reminded them with a gulp. I hope I'm not being out of line...
"Oh yeah!" David snapped his fingers. "That was it! Rain, get the cards."
There it was, that name again. I couldn't lie, I liked the way it sounded. It wasn't like Fantastico, which was cheesier than a grilled cheese. In a weird way, I thought it was fitting. The rain was always so tragic, so wistful in it's endless falling, like so many tears gushing from some lonely dejected soul up in Heaven. I, to the core of my essence, was built on sorrow. My dear rain, I am honored to be named after you. I shot a glance to the window. Even in it's harshness, the storm was only poignant, like the person who gave me life was. Clawing at the grave of a loved one, cursing both their fate and their beloved's, violent in their intense remorse. The rain could never be menacing to me, only poignant. Am I full of malice? I pondered. No, not full of malice, and surely not evil. I am just doing as a weapon does, and I enjoy it because I'm a weapon, nothing more.
"Rain! C'mon, the cards!" David reminded me.
I do love my name, but it will take some time getting used to... It seems so normal for people to call me "akuma" or "hey you" or "kid" or "boy"... but I'll adjust. I'll more than gladly adjust and trash all those other names... I'll incinerate all of those names for "Rain". I got to my feet, looking around the messy room.
"Um... where are the cards?" The twins blinked. Apparently I had posed a suitable question.
After a few minutes of the three of us fishing around the room, Jasdero came up with a pack of classic style ruby red backed playing cards, the kind one can buy at the store for only a dollar and find almost anywhere.
"OK, Rain." David and Jasdero moved down to the floor, sitting across from me so that we were all level. "How do we play?"
"I...I..." I felt myself begin to sweat. I'm an akuma... when I'm not killing, which isn't all that often, I'm cleaning or daydreaming... I've never had the time to play cards, and even if I did, I wouldn't have anyone to play with... "First you shuffle the deck." Jasdevi watched me with keen eyes. They're buying it... "Here, I'll do it." I reached out a careful hand, gently removing the cards from Jasdero' grasp and beginning to shuffle. It wasn't something anyone had taught me to do, it was just the type of thing that I knew. David and Jasdero watched in awe as the cards slapped each other, my fingers like magic as I placed the mixed deck on the ground in front of me.
"That's the same way Tyki does it." Jasdero commented.
"We never knew how, so whenever we play cards we just smash the cards together until we're sure they're all mixed up." David elaborated for me.
"Really? The deck looks pretty new and the cards are pretty firm, I would've guessed this was a brand new deck." I wondered if I was speaking out of turn. That's the first thing I've said to them without being asked...but if they shuffle cards like that, it'd be a miracle if a deck lasted them more than one match...
"It is." Jasdero told me simply, not noticing my folly.
"We bought it yesterday." David said.
"Oh, do you two like to play cards?" I pushed further. If they didn't mind me talking out of turn a little, I would just have to test my boundaries.
"We've played go-fish before." David shrugged, "and fifty-two pickup, but it's not like we do it that often."
"We want to learn poker." Jasdero explained.
"So you can play with Tyki?" I was high on conversation, a drug I rarely got my hands on. My mind was turning every sentence into a tail, typing each line down on one big novel. I grabbed at the first idea that came to me and ran with it, letting my thoughts spill out of my mouth without restraint.
"Like we'd fucking do that!" David cursed, his expression wavering between being pissed off by my accusation or laughing at it's idiocy. Jasdero gave a worried expression, followed by a sharp laugh. I was lost again, and the two twins weren't helping me find my way. "Look here, Rain," David told me, inching closer to me. "We're not doing this to get all close with that bum Tyki or anything. We're doing it to beat him."
"We'll beat him!" Jasdero declared.
"Tyki is here less than most of the Noah." David enlightened me, "Not just because he's on missions, because he has a whole other life. We've seen him, coming in here with his shitty pajama pants on and his swirly bug glasses... he acts like he's homeless, traveling and playing poker all the time." My already over-sized eyes grew ten times larger. Tyki-beautiful, sublime, angelic Tyki led a double life as a bum who wore pajama pants? It seemed impossible. Tyki was a god, his voice the kind that would bring even kings to their knees, his looks enough to make the Queen of England her self bow down and do anything to please him, so how could he also be a hobo? It was like finding out the drunk guy on the street corner is really a gallant hero, yet David had done me no service by cushioning the blow with a "you'll never believe it," or "guess what?". I couldn't have faith in what they were saying, it was too mad of a concept, and yet I couldn't deny their claims either. I never spoke to Tyki, only admiring him from afar like one would when dealing with god like him. At least, I thought he was a god.
"He keeps a deck of cards in his suit." David told me, not giving me enough time to catch my breath from the sudden shock. "He loves it. We want to beat him at it and show him who's boss." David and Jasdero gave me mischievous grins. "So you'll teach us how to play so we can kick his ass." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
It's not like I can lie to them... Or can I...? I could make up the rules... but they'd figure it out as soon as they faced Tyki... "What does it matter if Tyki goes off and plays poker on his own?" I was amazed at my own gall, but the boys seemed more subdued than our earlier encounter, and I doubted David would swing his gun at me for the time being.
"What!?" Jasdevi burst, both boys jumping up and shoving they're faces, which were contorted in hideous expressions, inches away from mine. "What does it matter?! I matters a lot!" Jasdevi slowly moved back to their original positions, giving me more room to breath.
"A whole lot!" Jasdero added for emphasis.
"Why? How does it matter? How is beating him different than beating me in a game of cards?" At this question the two boys stopped. I never knew the Noah had disputes among themselves... if only I could figure out why it bothers Jasdevi so much... maybe it's because they're jealous he's spending time away from the mansion with other people instead of them...? The Noah are like family... Road... Tyki...Skin... Lulu Bell... the Earl... they're the only family Jasdevi has, and I guess I can understand clinging to the only trace of family you've got. My mind went back to how I had savored the feeling of having a name, Sometimes, when you want something bad enough, I guess it doesn't matter how stupid it seems to pine over it...
"It's different." David eyed me as if I was saying something idiotic. "Tyki... We need to beat him. Are you going to help us or not?"
"Well?!" Jasdero added.
It's not like I actually have a choice... or like I actually can... "Of course I'll assist you, my lord." Wait... did I really just say that?! How am I going to do this! I don't have a clue want I'm doing...! "The secret is to cheat."
"Cheat?"
"That's right, if you cheat, there's no way you can lose, no matter how long the other person's been playing." I tried to put on a confident mask. "It's the one sure fire way to defeat Tyki." Jasdevi nodded, waiting for me to go on. Like I expected, they don't care what means they have to use in order to beat him... "The best way to cheat is to be the dealer, that way you can arrange the cards while shuffling, and the other players will be none the wiser." Of course, I was just guessing, trying to figure out the most logical methods of cheating to a game I couldn't even play while the two boys watched me with the sharp eyes of a hawk watching it's pray. "If you can't be the dealer, you can use the fact that there are two of you to your advantage. Distract him if you're playing on the ground, but if you're playing at a table you don't have to-just slip cards to each under the table. You'll be able to exchange cards so that, even though one of you will lose, the other will still win and beat Tyki."
"I never thought of that!" David grinned. "Alright, this'll be simple!"
"It'll be simple!"
"Yep." I smiled, they had bought it without any questions asked. I'm lucky that it wasn't Road asking me how to beat Tyki... I doubt she'd be as easy to fool...
"So what cards do we need to win?" David asked.
Ouch... I was hoping he'd over look that detail... that's what I get for relaxing too soon... "You need an ace." I told him, remembering the expression "always have an ace in the hole". If it's considered good to have an ace in the hole, it must be a good card, right...? "And a king and a queen." I went on, naming all the fanciest looking cards in a deck. "An ace, a king, a queen, a jack, and a joker."
"So if one of us gets those cards in our hand...?"
"You win." I concluded.
"The next time we see Tyki, he's going down!" The twins high fived each other. "...but for now I'm kinda hungry..." Jadero added with a whine.
"I'll go cook dinner." It was the ideal opportunity-I would make myself useful to them while also removing myself from the nauseating tension of the room, from the pressure of having to lie like my life depended on it (actually, it did).
"Alright, cool. I want a fried rice omelet." David placed his order.
"I want curry, really, really spicy curry!" Jasdero told me.
They don't want the same thing? That makes things more difficult... I just assumed they liked the same kinds of foods... Though I had been working for the Noah for all of my akuma lifespan, I rarely cooked for one person in particular. It was always just, "make eggs, bacon, and toast for breakfast. Put a pound of sugar in Skin's unless you want to die." or "hamburgers for dinner, make Skin's a lollipop patty instead of meat, unless you want to die." To think of it, it's always Skin modifying the menu... heh, if an akuma really did want to die, they'd have no trouble accomplishing that...
"Alright. Fried rice omelet and spicy curry." I nodded. "I'll be back once it's done." How spicy is really really spicy? If I make it too hot he won't be able to eat it, but if I don't make it hot enough he won't like it... and he did say "really" twice... and what's a fried rice omelet? Fried rice is Asian, isn't it? I was created in England... I have no clue about Asian dishes... My head was a mess, throbbing from over thinking and the new stressful situation. Did I really just jump into the lion's den to avoid the mouth of the lion...?