Chapter 2: Tom Smith

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Apparently, there are other people in the Brigade, except for the blatantly obvious Koizumi, that live to please Haruhi, but who could blame that sweet and innocent girl who makes such wonderful tea?

Yes, Asahina had somehow managed to get her cute little hands on a mystery, I'm not really sure if she actually made it, but since Haruhi's happy about it, I guess it'll be fine. Pretty sure she would've pointed it out if it were me though. Damn favoritism. Not that I can blame her for it. After all, who could seriously consider punishing our sweet Asahina? I should probably stop thinking in that direction, otherwise I think something bad might happen.

Anyway, Haruhi quickly decided to go check out the mystery at the bath house, where it just happened to be located. I wonder if I'm somehow using up my life supply of luck right about now? Oh well, there's no reason to dwell on it I guess.

Thankfully, our merciful – that's a new one – Brigade leader allowed us to go pick up what we needed for this exploration of mysteries, namely bath appliances. After which we met up once again right outside. Do I have to mention that since I was the last one to arrive that I was forced to pay for everyone? No? That's such a shame, I really wanted to complain about the clear thinning of this wallet of mine.

By the way, it should be noted that Koizumi wasn't here. Apparently he had something that he needed to take care of, he called it 'family matters', not sure if he's lying or not, but Haruhi agreed to let him go since it 'couldn't be helped'. How come she never say stuff like that when I'm the one talking? Is this favoritism again? Damn that girl piss me off.

Since Koizumi wasn't here, which was a welcome change of pace since that guy really creeps me out, and nobody else seemed to be in the men's bath, I slipped in the water thinking that I'd finally be able to relax.

It was at that time that I finally realized that there was someone else in here with me. Someone that I knew. Someone who still owed me a few wishes. You guessed it, the genie had somehow managed to appear, sitting Indian style in the middle of the air.

"Greetings master Kyon."

Greetings my ass. Where the hell did you pop out from and what are you doing here?

"I must follow you wherever you go, so that I may grant whatever wish you might have at that time."

So you're going to stalk me until I finish with my wishes? That's a kind of psychological warfare you know.

A sudden thought occurs to me as voices can suddenly be heard from the other side of one of the walls. Female voices. Despite them being quite loud, it proved difficult to make out the words, however, every now and then, there would be something more distinct. Usually these were along the lines of: 'No! Not there!', 'You're so smooth!' and 'What do you eat to make them grow this big!?'.

I was having some trouble containing my feelings about what seemed to be happening in the ladies bath. Don't look at me like that, I'm an average teenage male after all, what did you expect?

"You know," the genie looked at me with something mischievous in his eyes, "you could wish that you were able to watch what happened in there…" he trailed off as he stared at the wall where the noises were coming from.

At this point, I was having a serious inner struggle with myself. However, I am a healthy teenage boy, it didn't take long before I reached my decision.

Can I wish that I'm able to watch, and listen to them, whilst they are unable to see, hear or detect me in any other way? The thought of Nagato's data manipulation passed through my mind.

"Yes."

There isn't a moment to lose! We must hurry and catch this wonderful opportunity right away. I wish it to be so!

"Your wish is my command, master Kyon," the genie was matching the face that I was probably making right now.

I kind of get the feeling that this guy and Taniguchi would get along very nicely with each other indeed.

The noises from the other side of the wall are suddenly as clear as if the wall had never been there in the first place, and the wall, had turned see-through. The sight of the female members of the SOS Brigade in the bath, was enough to make me praise whatever god had created this wonderful world, even if the god mentioned happened to be Haruhi.

After quite some time, and a little bit of drool on my part, the girls finally decided that it was time to leave the bath and went off to get dressed, leaving me alone once more.

You can turn it back to normal now…

The genie nodded absentmindedly, apparently still somewhat dazed after the experience, and turned the wall back into a clearly solid object. I sigh and do my best to collect myself.

I think I might have ascended halfway to heaven by now.

I waited in the bath for a few more minutes, until I was able to reclaim some manner of self control, before I finally got dressed. The dressing part proved to be somewhat difficult since most of my brain seemed to have short-circuited, but I somehow managed to pull it off.

The genie had sometime during the peeping explained to me that, since I had wished it, he would be invisible to all people except me. So it came as no surprise to me when he followed me out the door.

Apparently, Haruhi had decided not to punish Asahina, despite a clear lack of mysteries. This was most likely related to the fact that, Haruhi was too busy trying to beat Nagato at some kind of game, I'm sorry but I'm still a bit dazed after the bath. When Haruhi finally asked me why, I simply told her that I'd probably stayed in too long. She seemed to accept that, although she did call me an idiot for doing such a stupid thing.

Finally, we all split up, everyone returning home in their own respective directions. It had been a long day, sort of, and I collapsed on my bed the moment I got home, falling asleep instantly. I dreamt wonderful dreams, dreams that had been heavily influenced by the memories of the day. It was pure heaven, although I probably wouldn't remember any of the many details of my dream, tomorrow when I woke up.

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Do you remember that time when I told Haruhi that I was doing homework? No? Well it happened. However, it should be noted that I was lying at the time, meaning that I still had a lot of homework to do. And it didn't look like Haruhi was going to cut me any slack with the Brigade, so I was in a bit of a fix.

How was I supposed to do all of this? There's a limit to what an average person can pull off you know. I mean, whilst Haruhi could probably do her homework in something like an hour or two, without breaking a sweat, I was lucky if it took me twice as long. Doesn't that just get on your nerves? How can her brain be so damn good?

It's not like I'm greedy or anything, I just wanted to have an easier time with all this homework that was being dumped on me. It didn't occur to me that I could wish for that until the genie – who'd been staring over my shoulder the entire time – started screaming out of frustration, it was math.

This would be my third wish, thankfully this genie really didn't know how to count, leaving me with four wishes left to spend.

I wish I had an easier time with my homework.

It was wonderful. I understood everything about it. There was nobody here, trying to beat the knowledge into my head using violence, Haruhi truly was a force to be reckoned with, and yet I understood everything, without even trying. Is this how smart people feel? Damn, now I'm really jealous.

Unfortunately, the genie told me that it wouldn't last for very long, just enough for me to finish my homework. So, once I'd fixed all of that, I would be returned to being just an ordinary person.

Oh well, Haruhi would probably have noticed if I suddenly turned smart, and that would have been a pain in the ass to explain. It would be hard enough to try to explain to her how my homework suddenly turned out so well.

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A/n: The title to this chapter was put there just because it made me laugh.