Chapter eight. After so long.

Some might hate me for this chapter. Some might just like it? xD

I cried when writing this, so I share the pain. Please enjoy.

"I really love you Yuichi... Everything that happened... everything that will happen that's bad, let's forget it all. We can go to paradise and be together forever." Wataru hummed, an echo behind his voice. His soft hazel eyes nibbled on Kazuki's heart like a chew toy. "More please... You love it, you love me. Let's always be together without a second thought." He was insinuating what he really was after, but they were both too young. Somehow, they seemed older in a way, as if they had grown.

Wataru was in his pajamas while Yuichi was in front of him with a jaunty look, clad in a suit jacket mixed with casual clothe to make him seem genuine, but normal at the same time. It was the look Wataru particularly liked.

Yuichi knelt before his love and held his hand as if it were a delicate flower. "No matter what." Those incontrovertible words, though a response, said more than those three words, they said other phrases with three words. From his suit pocket, he brought out what looked like a velvet box, violet in color. With Wataru's gaze on his, he opened it from the front, revealing a new ring, one with diamonds like stars in a row. Two smaller ones on the side and a larger one in the center. It seemed simple, but beautiful in it's own way.

While Wataru's eyes turned glassy, he heard a voice, Yuichi's voice again.

"Wataru... Will you-- 'wake up'?"

"What?"

"Wataru... I said, will you-- 'wake up'?"

"Wake up Wataru."

"Wake up."

He opened his eyes groggily, groaning a little from the headache he was getting. Wataru put his hand on his head and looked up to see a man in a white coat standing before him. As if he was confused, the boy looked around, questioning why he was here. The place smelled of lemons and death? No, it was just so cold that it felt deadening.

"...You can come and see him now. Please, do not touch anything or where his wounds are. Don't be too loud either, you are not supposed to be here after visiting hours." The doctor kept checking down the halls, as if he would get in trouble for not kicking Wataru out until morning.

Wataru stood right up and bowed deeply, but kept his mouth shut as directed. Nervously, he headed into the room where Yuichi was laying. There was a tube in his wrist and a mask over his mouth and nose. The pale display of his arms and face alarmed him, but the doctor, even having not said anything about his condition, seemed to give him a sense of hope inside. He brought a chair next to the bed, right where the light was coming in and he whispered a load of gibberish to see if the boy would respond. But there was no motion. The one thing that made him almost cry was the fact that he noticed a glistening ring on one of those pale fingers. He too was wearing his. Through closed eye lids, their gazes seemed to meet and it was as if he could feel someone with him while it's body was unresponsive. A heart at ache, he placed his hand gently over Yuichi's wanting desperately to hear his voice. Instead, he heard the doctor's voice.

"He will live."

Wataru looked up at the doctor who had now gotten his attention. That's it?

"He suffered some major injuries, mainly to his legs as you saw in the accident. The shock went to his brain and well... shut it off." The doctor felt a little bad that Wataru didn't seem to get it from his odd, saddened look, so he took a breath to say the real deal. "Kazuki Yuichi... won't be able to walk again."

The world turned a thick black before his eyes and he felt the need to float into oblivion, waiting to explore into this a little more. But the answer, clearly given to him, burned in his soul. Star struck, Wataru's head was on the bed and his grip on Yuichi's slipped away.

---

"Masanobu..." Wataru mumbled on the phone in a puzzled tone.

"... I know I am the last person you want to hear from. I heard about what happened... I don't know what to say." Asaka actually sounded defeated in a way, but Wataru would choose his words better this time.

"Asa-"

"Let me speak this time." The voice on the other line demanded in a patheticly sickening voice. "I don't know what came over me that night. I don't want to hurt someone I earnestly care about. When I started I realized this, but I couldn't stop... Wataru, I am not asking for forgivenesss, but rather, I just want you to know what I felt. I think I have kept from you long enough." Not once did his voice faulter, which shook up Wataru's mind in a jumble of wonder and mixed feelings. "I know I have bitten my tongue so much that it has bled. I am not feeling sorry for myself, and I am not pittying you in any way. What I did was unforgivable... I felt comfort with you, I love you Wataru, but unrequieted is fine with me for now. For split moments I always believe that you will leave Yuichi and my heart races." Which was why he had done what he did. Quiet now, and it lasted.

Wataru, in his shocked state, couldn't breath. His breath would have sent white puffs in the air. Sadly he could not say anything in return except Asaka's name. His phone beeped dead and the call was disconnected. The warmth still touched his ear where the phone was. "I am sorry... I don't know what to do." Wataru turned his gaze down and swallowed hard. Behind the hospital, in the closed off smoking area, he dropped to his knees and cried out to whoever passed by.

Days passed where it felt like hours were full years. Minutes were grueling and burned his heart to ashes. He couldn't focus a moment while Yuichi was in the hospital. It was as if the boy was dying or something. Right as his clock turned three, he left hid crap on the desk and ran off, in hopes of getting to the Hospital as soon as possible. Karin tried to get his attention, but he raced out of the house. Ever since the fight, he had been home, but he didn't want to go back since he didn't want to move all his study books yet. Even though he was learning it, some of the material was extraneous since he believed he would never use it in real life. But Yuichi had always told him to keep at it, that he just needed to pass and if he didn't need it, then he just didn't need it. So while Wataru wasn't a perfect student, Yuichi was his pristine partner, perfect in every way. Beauty was something he held close, his grade point average just as good and the way he never recoiled in a fight made him admirable. No one ever juxtaposed the two since they were completely different. For that reason, their differences, they could be together.

On his bike, he headed down the road at an alarmingly fast pace, trying not to squander his time that he had to see Yuichi. Today, he was confident that those beautiful eyes would open for him, that the congenial voice would speak to him once more. The soft, calm voice that he held dear to his heart hadn't spoken to him since that fateful day. Once he rode up to the large, white building, he parked his bike and left it there, struggling to get off of it. He wanted to alleviate these hard feelings of morose and regret. Wataru climbed the stairs, since the elevator was unfortunately full. By the third set of stairs, he was starting to get aggravated, but he kept going. Finally, he got upstairs, after he had broken a little sweat drop on the side of his head. Fifth floor… he should have taken the elevator then. Hoping to reach Yuichi's room, he dodged carts and nurses, reading each number off. He was looking for number twenty-five-E. Since he was on the fifth floor, E. The doctor met him there and stopped him.

"Wataru Fujii?"

The blood drained from his face, thinking the worst. The doctor must have realized that since he put up his hands defensively and laughed a little.

"Don't worry, he is doing fine. Actually, I have good news. Kazuki Yuichi opened his eyes just after you left the other day. He was saying how he saw you leave with tears in your eyes."

Wataru looked to his feet, trying to process all the information that was given to him in three sentences. There was hope then! It was plausible that he could take his lover out of this place and they could live together once more. But his inane actions, their inane actions were driving them all insane. He had to say what he really felt before it was too late.

"We need to keep him for a few more days, then he will be able to go home with you." The doctor added, letting Wataru in the room. "He is sleeping now, but you can wake him up, just don't shake him or anything. Call a nurse if you need anything." At that, the doctor headed out, flipping papers on his clip board.

From about seven feet away, Wataru looked at what was his lover. He stepped cautiously closer, waiting for a response of a gasp or something, but what his heart wanted, versus what his brain wanted were two different things. They were alone, in an awkward situation, breaking up anything he wanted to do. He stepped closer to the chair he had sat in the other day, but this time, he remained upright. The boy reached out a hand and gently moved the hair from Yuichi's eyes. They must have showered him when he woke up the other day, since it seemed like it was just cleaned. That tiny motion was enough for Yuichi's eyes to open.

This time, there was only a tube to his arm, not a mask over his face. Nothing was blocking him from speaking. Wataru ran his hand down Kazuki's cheek, then ran his thumb over his lover's mouth. Yuichi puckered his lips just barely, giving the thumb an innocuous kiss. When the lips moved more, Wataru brought his head down, bringing his ear closer to the mouth, struggling with words. In a tiny voice, normally unlike his lover, he whispered:

"Wataru, I love you."

Because of the severity of the situation, Kazuki said nothing more and with nothing else to do, waited patiently for a reply. Wataru sat down and placed his hand over his lover's. Kazuki's ring had been taken off for all his scans and such. His eyes looked into Kazuki's half lidded ones and he finally smiled.

"I love you too, so much that I can't focus on anything..." He felt pathetic for being so dependant like this, but his heart ached. Wataru put his head down on the bed my Kazuki's waist. In muffled whines, he mumbled: "I am so sorry Kazuki."

"Wataru... Do not... say sorry." He slowly moved his arm up and placed it on Wataru's back. Gently he ran his fingers through the soft brown hair. "I want us to me... forward, past this. Does that... sound like a good idea? I love you... a lot, it feels pathetic... to only say that."

Wataru had turned his head to the side so he could listen. For just now, he wanted to hear that voice. He wanted it to ring in his ear. "I want to love you, so even if it sounds pathetic, say it, I want to hear you Kazuki... Kazuki Yuichi. I ruined you... ruined you... I want to make you feel better, I want to go back in time and make this all better."

"Wataru, you are being so silly... Back in time?" Kazuki managed a chuckle and it make Wataru smile a little. "Let's move forward. The future sounds more appealing." Kazuki brought Wataru closer with his eyes, enticing him to his lips. "I have longed to feel warm breath on my cheek..."

The two seemed to draw each other in. I love him. Where the thoughts in common. Wataru drew closer and tilted his head a little. Slowly, intimately, their lips met in a way that intimidated the both of them, but ignited their passion. I want him.

---

Because of studying, Wataru hadn't come to the hospital on time every day. he popped in randomly. He learned most of the nurses names already. But today was special, Yuichi could come home. He had put everything in the apartment already. So he was ready. But mentally, he wasn't. In his heart he feared that distilled emotions would rise. He wasstill in question about the girl and he could tell Kazuki was questioning what Masanobu did to him. He sat in the waiting room while Kazuki showered and such. A nurse looked to him and smiled, but then her smile turned awkward as her eyes drifted to his stomach.

Upon noticing her stare, he laughed it off. "Just stress... I tend to eat when I get stressed and stuff." He put his hand on his stomach, but when he looked to the nurse, she didn't seem satisfied. A familiar noise broke the situation though. The doctor's deep voice cheered him right up. In the wheel chair he was pushing was his Kazuki. Wataru wanted to feel happy but when he glanced at the wheel chair, he remembered the situation. To keep Yuichi from worrying, he put on a sweet smile and within fifteen minutes they were checked out.

"I am going to make dinner when we get home ok? Just for the two of us. Then we can sleep together again." Innocently of course. Wataru helped him into the car and he drove back to the unchanged apartment, a fake smile on his face the whole time.

...

Days passed slowly, creeping towards his entrance exams, closer and closer. The couple didn't speak much to each other despite the occasional, 'hey' or 'I love you…' But the two didn't seem to want to converse much anyways. Wataru was still stuck with the guilt of what he did. It latched onto his skin and still wouldn't get off. No matter how many times Yuichi had tried to say it was not his fault. He had got time off from work to stay at home and be maid for his lover. Study, study, clean, clean. Even Wataru Jr. didn't find all of this amusing. Sure he got to sit on Kazuki to get a belly rub, but he wanted the rowdy boy whom he got his name after back. From the back room, Kazuki wheeled himself out, getting the hang of the thought of being wheelchair ridden. But he wouldn't feel sorry for himself, knowing that it would set his lover off the deep end.

Wataru paused with his hands on his sides and he blushed a little from how much work he had been doing. The dishes, the laundry and Jr. were all clean. Wataru was happy with his work but Jr. hated bath day. Ever since they got back from the hospital, Kazuki had been stranded to the couch or bed and Wataru did most of the house work. Kazuki wheeled himself to the couch and levied himself up.

"Wataru please come sit..." Kazuki said, with that destressed voice that was his usual voice. It was only like that because he hated it when the other did everything while he couldn't. It made him feel incompitant. Sure he hated doing the dishes, but felling useless was even worse.

The younger looked over and sighed some. It was everything but a strained sigh. So he made his way over to his lover and loomed over him for a moment, a devilish grin on his face. Since this was technically the first time they could be together without Yuichi sleeping or Wataru studying, he would make the most of it.

"... Why are you looking to me with that face?" Yuichi blushed a bit from it, but he tried to sound snobby and arrogant.

"Mmm... no particular reason." Ah but there was a reason! Wataru would keep to himself for now. Like a good boy, he spread his legs around the other, setting his knees on the couch on either side of Yuichi. "I guess you will be pretty useless for a while eh?" Despite the cute, suggestive words, he meant nothing of the sort. Rather, he embraced Yuichi in his arms and took in a shakey breath. "Yuichi..." he mumbled, using his first name for emphasis. "I am so glad you are still with me... I am sorry for the things I did. I was being a jack ass I know..."

"So was I... It is both our faults, but it is in the past now so let's forget it and think only of the future ok? Remember what I said back at the hospital?"

Wataru nodded and rested his head in the crook of Kazuki's neck. The other wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace. The faulty, thick air was ruining their time together, so, to lighten the mood, Kazuki let out a huge sigh to get the brunette's attention.

"I have been having trouble showering and getting dressed. I can get my shirt on and such, but my pants take forever to get on…" Yuichi was getting at something, obviously, but something stopped him.

Wataru was crying?

"Wataru… I already said, please forget about this." But that made his cries a little louder. "What's wrong, don't cry, it won't solve anything. Just tell me what's wrong…?"

"You tell me to forget it, but I can't. I want to love you…" He wiped his tears from his face and he took a deep breath. "I want to… I want to be a good lover for you. I would do anything. I was an idiot for ever defying you. It wasn't both of our faults, it was mine, all mine."

"You seemed so happy just a few minutes ago, coming onto me… what's really wrong?"

"… A-After I got your medical papers at the hospital the other day…" He moved his body off of Kazuki's in fear of what his reaction might be. "The nurse pulled me over…"

"Ah, Wataru! This means we won't see you for a while huh? Well I guess it is a good thing! I really hope everything goes well!" The young nurse waved him off and headed back into the patients room.

Wataru was carrying a folder of all Yuichi's medical papers and important information. While he walked through the halls, he felt an awkward presence, but when he turned, it was just the nurse from the other day. The one who was staring awkwardly at his stomach. He gave her a small smile and she walked over, looking mildly concerned. This, worried him greatly since he figured it was something about Kazuki.

"Uhn, how are you feeling?"

Him? What about Kazuki? "I am feeling fine… I think the stress is really getting to me. I am not good in mornings, feels like I am car sick. But it should go away soon once I get into the rhythm of things again."

She put her hand to Wataru's forehead as if looking to see if he had a cold, but he felt fine in the ways you would think of a cold. No temperature, no coughing or anything. "Can you come with me for a moment?"

Looking to his watch, he had time since Kazuki was probably still asleep. He nodded and followed her into a room which looked barely familiar. He sat up on the metal table as directed and the nurse took the folder to put on the desk for the time being. Just now his stomach dropped, wondering about what was going on.

"I need to ask you a few questions, is that ok?"

"What is this about?"

"... You have a stomach as if you are pregnant." Wataru's face went pale as she said that. "And your actions lately, how moody and nauseous you have been... are leading me to wonder if you are or not."

A regular pregnancy test would not work with males, so he needed a doctor to find out. The woman knew this was not what he was expecting, but didn't know how to say it wasn't a big deal.

"There is a chance I could be wrong, tests will help determine it or not. While we wait for the doctor to come in, please answer the questions."

Wataru nodded, speechless.

"Have you been with anyone within the past three months? If more than one person, how recent?"

Yeah... he had slept with Yuichi of course, but he didn't feel this until he was with Asaka. "Y-yes... About three, maybe two and a half weeks ago."

"I see. Do you use protection or anything?"

Shamefully he shook his head no and turned his head off to the side. "Since the risk is so tiny for a male, we didn't think of it."

She recorded it just as the doctor came in. A young woman, a little older looking than the nurse. She smiled at Wataru, remembering his face from almost every day he was in seeing Yuichi. Remaining silent, she set her clip board on the desk, then brought the stool over to him, sitting in front of him.

"Well, we are just going to check this out and see if we have anything there ok? Just lay back on the table ok?"

He nodded and she lifted his shirt a little to reveal his tummy. It was getting a bulge, but only from over eating and not getting out much from studying right? The woman put gel like stuff on his stomach which made him shudder since it was cool. She waited a moment, then put something else on his stomach. She pointed to a screen and she made a soft sigh, probably not one he was supposed to hear. Wataru didn't even need to look to know what it was.

"I can't tell how far along the child is... We won't know for a while." She said as Wataru cleaned off the gel from his stomach. He felt absolutely shamed. "There is a way we can figure out who's the father... But..."

Wataru's head shot up in terror, knowing that he needed a large needle for that and seeing how quickly he responded was a complete no. Even though it was eating away at him to know who was the father, he just couldn't do that.

"You... Y-You what?" He wasn't yelling, but he was still feeling slightly scared on the inside. Certainly he didn't know what went on with Asaka and Wataru since Wataru left that little part out. "W-When? We haven't-- Done anything for a while now..."

"...I know... apparently I just started showing symptoms and I guess it's just that far along."

Shockingly enough, Kazuki leaned forward, supporting himself on the coffee table since he could not use his legs. But alas, he struggled, then nearly fell had Wataru not grabbed him. He reached out and touched Wataru's stomach.

"Hello, baby."

Thanks for reading! I am hoping for a speedy update, but with how I like to make things drown out longer than usual, it won't be tomorrow. If I take more than a week, I will make another notice about it.

Please rate and review! It literally keeps me going.