Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or any of the related characters.
Author's Notes: Sorry again for typos. I do try to keep it at a minimum. Feedback is most appreciated. I hope you enjoy reading :)
Love Always Finds a Way
by Kija
*
*Loss*
Blonde hair streamed all over the desk, golden locks entangled in brushes, pens and discarded pieces of paper. The girl the sunlight kissed head belonged to
moaned in her sleep as her face was resting against the hard surface of the drawing desk.
Turning her head to the side to stare out of the window showed her the first rays of sunlight smiling back at her.
She groaned again as she willed herself to sit up straight. Angrily she wiped away the paper that stubbornly got stuck to her face and sighed a deep sigh.
Looking at the clock confirmed her fears... she had been in the office all night .. again.
This job was going to kill her..
The young woman rubbed her eyes tiredly and stretched arms above her head, trying to get some life back into her muscles. She must have fallen asleep
around 3 am, she mused..and her work still wasn't finished.
She sighed as she looked down at her desk. It was a huge mess. With a tired hand she picked up one of the sheets lying around the tabletop and looked at it intently,
studying it closely.
"Hmmm.. not so bad" she told herself and as she observed all the other designs she had drawn last night she was quite content with what she had achieved.
All those years of practice and university were worth something after all, even though she still didn't realize her own dream but was using all her creativity to
envision someone else's dreams. "But at least it pays the rent", she huffed to herself. She couldn't even remember the last time she had taken out her sewing
machine to create something of her own.
This would have to do for now. She was young, she didn't have the money to start her own business and she didn't exactly want to ask her father for his money.
She sighed once again.. one day.. yes one day she'd make her dreams come true.. she knew she could do it!!
This thought lifted her spirits and she crammed together the designs for the presentation in two hours. She knew her employer would love them.. he always did.
As she stood up she pulled her stubborn hair into two ponytails, twisted them into two knots on either side of her head and pinned them down. She observed
herself in the mirror and had to giggle. She felt like a five year old again, when she had loved to wear the "odangos" on her head. these days she only pulled her
hair up that way when she was about to work and couldn't use the hair in her face. It was a beloved childhood memory and it reminded her of the good old days
in Tokio. Tokio... she hadn't been there for so long...ever since her mother took her away to London to live and study here.
She really liked London but there was always a part of her that missed her hometown.. missed the cherry blossoms in springtime and the incomparable aura of
the vibrant Tokio.
She understood why her mother had left Japan and back then she had felt the need to go with her. Sometimes she regretted it.
As Usagi went over to to the small kitchen of the office to make some fresh tea she passed the small surface she had decorated with pictures of her family and
postcards from all over the world.
She smiled when she looked at a picture of a happily smiling couple. It was her stepsister Rei and her husband Mamoru. Oh she remembered very well the day
she had received an email from her stepsister, telling her she had run away and married the man of her dreams in secret.
It was a big scandal, since Rei's mother had been against the relationship from the beginning, thinking that first they were too young to get married, second the
man was too poor and third she wanted her daughter to pursue a career as a model and singer.
But Rei being her firey tempered self just did what she wanted to do anyway. Usagi really admired her for that.. her stepsister had always been so stubborn and
strong. And oh! How jealous had she secretly been when Rei had sent her the first picture of her secret love. Usagi was absolutely enchanted by the man's good
looks. The combination of his tall, lean figure, the beautiful god-like face, the silky black hair falling boyishly brushing his forehead and those oh so dark blue
stormy eyes. The man certainly was droolworthy!
Sadly she had never met Rei's husband Mamoru in person. In the last few years the money for a journey to Japan simply wasn't there and so she hadn't seen her
stepsister for the last 8 years. The last time Rei had just started university and they had been excitingly picking out new furniture and decorations for her new room
at the campus.
After that they had written the occasional letter or later emailed each other and had video conversations over the internet where they had shared all the big news
in each other's lives and where she briefly was introduced to Rei's then still boyfriend, Mamoru. How many hours had they spent laughing over their adventures
and comforting each other over broken hearts? Oh how she missed those times. Usagi gently touched the photograph with a finger, a small smile on her lips.
She really missed the girl she grew up with and who was as dear to her as a real sister.
When the big news of Rei's pregnancy was announced Usagi had jumped up and down in front of the computer, totally excited and from that moment on she had
tried her best to get together the money for a ticket so she could go and see her nephew as soon as he was born. Rei was almost due and Usagi was happy
she had managed to have the amount together now. She hadn't eaten much in a long time, living on potatos and noodles, but she knew it was worth it. It would
be so good to give her sister a big hug again, laugh together with her and share everything as they used to when they were younger.
Just as she was about to grab a cup from the dishwasher the disctinct buzzing of her cell phone made her turn around and look at the table where the little thing
was vibrating on the glass surface. Who was calling her this early?
Quickly making her way over to the desk she took a look at the display... "Mom", she whispered and picked up.
"Good morning.. what's up?" she asked in a suspicious tone.
The moments after that seemed to pass by in slow motion for Usagi. She heard her mother speak but she couldn't comprehend what she was saying.
She ended the conversation with a short "Bye" before she pushed the button on her phone and put it back onto the table, staring blankly into the air.
Finally her legs gave in and she had to sit down, a lone tear was running down her cheek as the news sank in. Then she buried her head in her hands and began
to sob... dead? Rei was dead.. and the realization hit her like a ton of bricks.
Ten hours later Usagi was checking into the next plane to Tokio. It had cost her more than she had planned and her bank account was empty but it didn't matter.
All that mattered was to go home now. Her head felt light and she was dizzy. She still couldn't believe it, her mind not able to process the information still.
Right after she had gotten the news she had hurried home, packed her things and gone to the airport. From there she had called her father and for the first time
in years they had a civil conversation and she could hear in his voice the same grief she was feeling. How ironic that such a tragedy brought them closer together again.
Once she was in her seat she looked outside the window. It was a beautiful day, but her day had lost all light and joy. Closing her eyes she leaned back and
willed herself to fall asleep during the long flight.
A warm, gentle hand on her shoulder woke her up and she looked around herself puzzled, unsure of where she was for a moment until she realised she was on a
plane and the soft voice talking to her belonged to a stewardess.
"Sorry Miss, but we arived in Tokio" she smiled at her.
Usagi looked a bit baffled and softly spoke a hurried "Thank you." as she scrambled to get her purse and get off the plane.
Once she got her bag and out into the arrival hall she craned her neck to find her father in the midst of the many people waiting for their loved ones to arrive.
After 10 minutes of unsuccessful searching she plopped down on her bag and sulkily rested her chin on her hand.
"Typical" she grumbled.
When Usagi was younger she and her father were very close. He was a very busy man and rarely at home but when he was he always had time for her and
spoiled her rotten and of course she loved it!
As a little girl she didn't understand yet that he wasn't giving her mother the attention she needed, that he was often ignoring her and taking her for granted. All
she knew was that her parents loved her and seemed always happy when around her.
No wonder it came as such a surprise when suddenly her parents got divorced when she was 6. Usagi's world had crashed into tiny little pieces and even more
so when her mother left to have her daughter live with her father.
Back then she didn't understand that her mother had been too sick to take care of her. The long years of loveless marriage had taken its toll on her fragile health
and added to her heart problems came deep depressions which only worsened after the divorce. That's why she had chosen to leave her child with her father.
Usagi had never felt as lonely as in those first nights when she was roleld up in her bed in a dark room and had to fall asleep without her mother's loving kiss on
her cheek.
Only a few days later a nanny had been hired to take care of her and her father went back to work... simply back to schedule as if nothing had happend.
For a few months it was like this, before one night, he came home with a stunningly beautiful dark haired woman. At first Usagi didn't think much of it but when a
few weeks later the same woman brought along a little girl, about her age and they were left to play while the grown ups went out, her life was once again turned
upside down.
"Usagi! Usagi! Here I am!!" a man waving frantically at her yelled from the crowd a few meters away, He was standing on his tiptoes to see her and had a big
smile on his face.
Despite herself the young woman smiled back, got up and grabbed her bag. Of course her father didn't come in to pick her up herself... he sent the driver.
Once her bag had been stored in the back of the car and she got in, a friendly but sad smile greeted her.
"Hello dad." she said softly with a small smile before she leaned over and gave him a hug.
Kenji closed his arms around his daughter and more than ever in his life felt happy to hold her. "Welcome home my little angel" he whispered, and he regretted
he had been angry at her for leaving for so long. All the time you had with your loved ones is precious, he knew that time had been wasted.
He just wished a tragedy didn't have to happen for him to realize this.
Most of the drive home went by quietly. Neither of the two felt much like having small talk and both were at a loss for words. The air in the car seemed to be
packed with emotion and so Usagi and her father remained sitting next to each other, each of them looking out of the window, deep in thought.
When they finally arrived at the house and Usagi stepped out of the car the sight of her old home was overwhelming. Tears stung her eyes as she remembered
how often Rei and her had been playing in front of the house, running through the flowerbeds, annoying the gardener to no end. But they had been happily
giggling, running out of sight, planning the next mischief.
The sudden warm feeling of her father's hand on her back and the slight pressure made her walk on and enter the enormous house with him. Not much had
changed inside since she had left. The huge entrance hall with the marble floors, the dark mahagony stairs were still the same and the small tables were all
covered in freshly cut flowers. The only difference was that the house was absolutely quiet.
"Where's Helene?" she inquired and looked up at her father.
He looked at her solemnly and sighed before answering, "She locked herself up in her room after she heard about the news. Nothing I say or do makes her come
out. I don't know what to do anymore." A heavy sigh left his mouth as he looked utterly defeated.
Placing a gentle hand on his upper arms and squeezing it lightly Usagi gave him her bravest smile, leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed her father's cheek.
An act so innocent and loving it surprised both father and daughter who had ben seperated for so long.
"Where can I stay?" she finally asked quietly.
"Your old room, of course." Kenji told her, a small smile on his lips.
She looked back up at him with big eyes and she was at a loss for words. All those years she had be gone and they hadn't talked and yet she still had a room in
his house. It touched her deeply and for the first time since she had heard about the terrible news, something like warmth crept into her heart.
Without another word she went upstairs to rest a little. They could talk later.
In another part of Tokio a young man entered his apartment, the keys were falling from his limp fingers, his eyes red from crying, his usually handsome face was
pale and sickly looking.
Resting his back against the door he slowly slid down the ground and buried his face in his palms, his fingers desperately clutching his hair as heavy sobs
wracked his was gone, really gone and his mind couldn't comprehend it. Why oh why hadn't she told him?
In his mind he played out the conversation with Ami over and over again but it still didn't make sense.
"I'm so sorry Mamoru...she didn't make it..oh god, I'm so sorry." she had started to say as she noticed he was just staring at her blankly, not a muscle moving.
She had taken a step closer to him and touched his arm but he hadn't felt the warmth reach him. He felt cold, untouchable.
"How? Why?" he whispered, barely audible.
Ami took a deep breath and her face became even more serious before she started to explain, "She knew about the complications. She was in no condition to
have a baby..but she wanted it so badly. Wanted it because she loved you so much, because she knew how much a family meant to you..Rei forbid me to tell
you and as her doctor I was bound to an oath. She did so well and we thought things were turning out all right. Oh god, I'm so sorry!"
"You knew?" it came out in a very low whisper, so low Ami almost didn't catch it. All she could do in response was nod.
Without another word he strode past her towards where they had taken her. Ami ran after him quickly and tried to make him stop but he wouldn't listen.
Her wanted to see her one last needed to see, to understand.
When he had been in the operation room with her alone he couldn't take it any longer. All strength had left him and his knees gave him as he held his beloved's
hand, pressing his lips to her cold skin, weeping in sorrow and pain.
Her face was as beautiful as it had always been, calm, flawless but so so pale. Her rosy lips so kissable still, her eyes forever closed.
Mamoru placed a small kiss on her lip, closing his eyes, trying to remember how happy they had been only a few hours before. It all had ended.. again destiny
had taken away all that he then they took her aways and he stared after her long after she had been out of sight.
Numbly he walked the corridors, letting Ami guide him. He didn't hear what she was saying, didn't want to hear. What did it matter now?
They stopped in front of a huge window and Ami went inside, cradling a small child in her arms and came out. His eyes followed her every move and at first he
didn't comprehend what she was doing and why. The young woman was smiling softly at the small bundle in her arms and held her arms out to him, offering him
his new responsibility.. his son. At first Mamoru didn't react and as he was about to stretch out his arms in reflex, his eyes fixed on the baby and for the first
time he saw him.. Hair of dark black and eyes of soft violet... her eyes, and his arms sank to his sides again wordlessly.
Ami looked at him puzzled, didn't understand as he took a step back. And then he left. Without a word. He just turned and left and as if the little one knew he
was abandoned, he started to softly cry in the arms of the young doctor.