A/N- Well, after a very long wait, I'm back! Glad to be back, folks. Now, this chapter is one that I've had in my head a long time. It's kind of mellow, but perhaps humorous in it mellowness. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 5- Naming Part One

Harley and Joker were not talking. Both were equally mad at one another. Harley's anger stemmed from the fact that she thought it was silly that Joker was being jealous and bored with his unborn child. And Joker's anger came from the fact that he was jealous of all the attention Harley and the baby were getting.

Batman was forced to sit between them on the couch, as they had taken to a childish display of their anger. That is, Joker would poke Harley's arm, then act as if he had not done so (although everyone knew he had), and Harley would whine and ask him to quit it. Needless to say, there wasn't enough aspirin in the world to get rid of the Dark Knight's headache.

Joker reached over Batman and poked Harley in the shoulder.

"Quit it! Batman, make him stop!" she whined.

"Stop what? I haven't done anything," he said, feigning innocence.

A few peaceful moments passed. Then, Joker reached to poke Harley again. However, this time, Batman caught Joker's wrist midway there.

"Ow!" the Clown Prince cried in pain, retracting his arm and rubbing his wrist.

Harley hit Batman on the shoulder.

"What in the world was that for?" the Dark Knight asked.

"You didn't have to hurt him!" she said, crossing her arms.

She stood and crawled into Joker's lap. She kissed his wrist and asked, "Is that better, puddin'?"

"Uh-huh," he said, batting his eyes at her.

Batman sighed. At least the "argument" was over. Though, it would always bother him how easily Harley forgave the Joker for anything.

It did not take long for Batman to become annoyed (but mostly disgusted) by what had taken the argument's place. The two inmates were becoming increasingly--and sickeningly--lovey-dovey. Harley would giggle, and the Joker would kiss her cheek. She would quickly kiss his cheek in return. Both of them would laugh. Then, they would rub noses. Batman wanted to vomit.

Finally, unable to take anymore, he said, "So, have the two of you thought about what you are going to name the baby?"

Both of them turned to look at Batman. Then, they looked at one another. Batman slid to his left as Harley slid off Joker's lap into the seat beside him.

"No, I haven't. Not really. I mean, I have a few names I've liked since I was little. Have you, puddin'?" Harley asked.

"Not really. But I'm sure I could come up with a few if I put my mind to it," he replied.

"Right then," Batman said, turning to mediate. "Let's say you both get…seven vetoes."

"Ahem, Bats…the doctor incident," Harley gently reminded, while Joker raised an eyebrow at her.

"Right. How about ten?"

Harley gently cleared her throat.

"Fourteen."

"That's arbitrary," Harley said.

"Okay," Joker said, cutting in. "I'll go first."

Harley huffed a little at this, but said nothing in protest.

"How about…for a boy…Joker Junior?" Joker said, his chest puffing up.

"Veto. I never really liked the whole "junior" thing," Harley said.

"Alright then," Joker grumbled. "What have you got?"

"Okay. For a girl, Felicia."

"Veto. Sounds like something I'd name my cat. My turn…for a boy, Jay."

Harley sighed in disgust. "Veto!"

Joker grumbled again, but gestured for Harley to continue.

"Another for a girl…Zula."

The expression Joker had on his face was the equivalent to one he might have had if someone had stuck a skunk under his nose. "Veto. Where the hell did you get that name, Harl?"

"I've always thought that that was so pretty!"

"Well, my turn…how about…Cosmo."

"For a boy or a girl?"

"Boy."

"Veto."

"Then for a girl."

"Veto."

"That counts twice!" Joker said, sitting up a little farther in his seat and pointing.

"Then I get to go twice now!"

"But--" the Clown Prince began, but Batman cut him off.

"She's right. Go on, Harley."

"Um…alright, this one is for a boy…Cortney."

"Veto."

"Fine. And for a girl, Rain."

"We're naming our children after types of weather now? Veto. Okay, my turn. For a boy, Preston."

"Nope. Veto. How about…James for a girl?"

"Let's give our child a sexual identity crisis. No. Veto."

"Then how about for a boy?"

"No, too common. Veto. And I get to go now! Um…how about J-A-E?"

"That's still Jay! Veto!"

"How about…Janette?"

"Veto. Too French."

"It's an English name!"

"Whatever, Harl. What about…Darwin?"

"Good Lord, no! Veto!"

"Um…maybe we ought to put this off for a little more. So you both can think about it more," Batman said, feeling that the endless names were growing a bit tedious.

"Fine by me," Joker grumbled.

"Me too!" Harley announced.

A few moments passed, then Batman watched as Joker's hand slow rose, poked Harley in the shoulder, and went quickly back to place. Harley growled in frustration, stood, and announced, "I'm taking a nap!"

As she stormed off, Batman glared at Joker.

"What?" the Clown Prince asked.

End Notes: Okay, so the couple made no progress on naming their child. However, the polls are still open. Please vote for the sex of the baby if you haven't done so! Also, please note that the opinions expressed through the characters does not necessarily reflect the author's views. No offense was meant. Also, all names (with the exception of a few of the Joker's) came from Behind the name dot com. Please review!