A/N- Sorry for the long wait, guys. Seriously, I love to write comedies, but they're so hard for me to write. I have to be in just the right mood, or it comes out flat. And I refuse to produce flat comedy! So, here's the next chapter!

Chapter 7- Homemade Maternity Clothes

Joker growled as he tossed a large pile of the purchased baby items to the floor. This was, of course, right in front of Wayne Manor's front entrance, causing a back-up in the line of officers carrying items. Batman shook his head as he allowed Harley—whom he had escorted inside—to roam about. He pointed down at the pile as the cops teetered with piles of their own right outside the door.

"What?" the Joker asked, feigning innocence.

"Pick. It. Up."

Joker eyed Batman for a moment, daring him to do something. However, as the Dark Knight took a menacing step forward, Joker automatically stooped and scooped the items back into his arms

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the clown muttered from somewhere behind a baby bath. "Where would you like these items, O Great Master Bat?"

"Living room. We'll sort through it there."

Batman put his back to him and the two cops finally able to enter into manor, giving his attention to Harley. His eyes widened.

The jester woman, who moments ago had been bouncy-happy, was now positively green around the gills. Suddenly, her cheeks ballooned up, and she pressed a delicate hand to her mouth. Batman unintentionally took a few steps back. After a moment, her cheeks deflated a bit, but when she opened her mouth, a ghastly burp erupted from within.

"Bathroom," she murmured weakly.

"Closest is just around the corner. Right by the stairs," Batman said, pointing quickly.

She nodded and darted in that direction. A few moments later, a series of retching sounds followed. Alfred emerged from the corner, looking alarmed.

"Is everything quite all right, Sir?" the butler inquired.

Batman gave Alfred a half-grin. "Yes, Mr. Pennyworth, I believe everything is all right. Miss Quinn was just feeling suddenly ill."

"Ah," Alfred said knowingly. "Return of the morning sickness, is it?"

Batman nodded. "It happens."

Joker appeared behind the two, eyeing the surroundings. His head turned in the direction of Harley's retching noises. He crossed his arms.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked, jerking a thumb in the bathroom's direction.

Alfred raised his chin in the air, turned, and exited the room without a word. Joker scoffed and turned to Batman.

"Seriously, what's wrong with Harl? Did she eat fish?" he asked, a chuckle under the tones of his "concern."

"Morning sickness."

Joker turned up his nose and visibly recoiled. "Wait, I thought she was over that!"

Batman shook his head. "It comes back, sometimes."

The Dark Knight turned to leave, then, on a second thought, turned back, "Say, clown, didn't I give the two of you the bedroom with the adjoining bath?"

"Yeah…" Joker drawled. "Why?"

Batman shrugged. "Oh, it's just that I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it will be to sleep with that going on next door."

Joker's permanent grin seemed to disappear as another retching sound filled the air.

"She's awful loud, isn't she? Good night, Joker."

………………….

Joker stumbled into the kitchen the next morning, red-eyed and his green hair formed into the perfect image of a rat's nest. He groaned as he downed a hot cup of coffee in a single gulp and held the cup out for more. Batman chuckled darkly.

"Poor Harley was up all night sick, I suppose?" he asked.

Joker growled over the steam of his cup of joe. With another groan, he downed that cup and asked for yet another. Alfred kept them coming.

The doors to the kitchen swung open, and Harley walked in, grinning a bit sheepishly.

"Are you feeling okay this morning, Miss Quinn?" the female cop assigned to this special "task force" asked.

She nodded slowly. "A little. Just a little uneasy though. May I just have some toast this morning?"

Alfred nodded, popping a piece of white bread into the toaster. Harley took a hesitant seat down beside Joker, who narrowed his eyes at her in lieu of a greeting. She smiled at him, shrugging.

"Sorry, puddin'," she said. "I tried to keep it down."

"You don't have to apologize for anything," the policewoman said.

"Thank you, Officer…?" Harley paused, cocking her head to the side to read the woman's nametag. "Morgan. Thank you, Officer Morgan, but I was rather loud. I kept my poor puddin' up all night!"

Joker stuck his tongue out at Batman and Morgan before smiling benevolently and pitifully at Harley once she had turned her attention to him.

"But, I don't suppose he spent all night over a toilet, did he? I bet he spent it in the nice, comfortable bed, didn't he?" Batman said, hiding his mischievous grin behind his own cup of coffee. "Did he even offer to hold your hair back for you?"

Joker shot the Bat a death glare. However, Harley had one of her own for him.

"No, come to think of it, he didn't! How inconsiderate!" she said, huffing and taking the saucer of toast that Alfred offered her. "I'm going to get a head start on a little project I've had in mind. If anyone, except a certain Clown should need me…I'll be in our room upstairs."

And with that, she exited the kitchen, leaving Joker wide eyed. As soon as her blonde pigtails had cleared the exit, he turned to the officer and the vigilante across from him.

"You did that on purpose!" he hissed.

"Well, of course I did, clown," Batman said, standing.

"I wonder what project she was talking about?" Officer Morgan murmured to herself.

Joker huffed indignantly. "Oh, we'll probably know soon enough. Harl has the attention span of a goldfish!"

However, when several hours had passed, and the only evidence to Harley's presence in the manor was the occasional shout of a foul word, the group of officers, the Joker, and Batman began to wonder.

"What in blinkin' blue blazes is that girl doing up there?" Joker asked, peering up the staircase.

"You could just go ask her," Batman pointed out.

"Or you could…last we knew, she was angry with me. And I wonder whose fault that was?"

Batman sighed. "Fine. Let's both go find out."

The Bat and the Clown ascended the staircase, stopping just outside the jaded duo's temporary abode. Just as another expletive exploded through the door. With a glance at one another, Batman lightly rapped on the door.

"Who is it?" Harley singsong-ed brightly through the door.

"We were wondering what all the cursing was about, Harley," Batman explained.

"Oh!" Harley said. "Come in, and I'll show you!"

Joker actually looked frightened as Batman twisted the doorknob and pushed.

"My G—what is all this?" he asked, looking around.

Part of the bedroom was covering in scraps of differently colored straps of cloth that one could tell used to be part of some types of clothing. The other part…looked as if someone had merged every outfit they had ever owned, then divided it up into several, oversized outfits.

"What the hell is this?" Joker said, picking up a particularly hideous…dress made from, what appeared to be, a merging of an old 70s outfit and a jester's costume.

"Well," Harley said, grinning proudly, "I thought I'd get a jump start on my maternity clothes. This way, I don't have to worry about shopping for some, and I can really express myself while I'm pregnant. I can be me, and still be a mommy-to-be. What do you think of them?"

Batman recognized the wide, doe eyes Harley shot at them. He also recognized the cold glint in the Joker's eyes. He seized the clown's collar just before he was about to speak, causing him to literally choke on his words.

"They're…wonderful, Harley. Really," Batman said, giving the Joker a sidelong, and very meaningful, glare.

"Really, really? What do you think, puddin'?" she asked.

Joker threw his eyes skyward before grinning back her.

"…Ditto, kid," he said.

Harley squealed in delight and threw herself into Joker's arms. Batman sighed and made a mental note to self.

Potentially Explosive Situation One: Averted.

End Notes: Okay, so, how was that? There was a little Dexter joke in here, coming from the popular Showtime show. Now, a little note here, I merged what was going to be chapter eight into this one. That cuts down this fic from twenty-two chapters to twenty-one. Well, please review, and if you haven't voted already, please do so! Your last chance will be chapter nineteen!