Yeah so…here is the new chapter, maybe it'll have more meaning than the last one! And part of this is Ritsuka having a depressed moment and remembering Seimei…stuff like that. Kind of a sad chapter. But, it'll be worth it though. I am starting another fic…but once I got like…more than halfway done with it, it seemed so stupid…so I might not be putting that one up.

!!! zohreyha – I was almost in a writer's block but your review inspired me the most to keep on writing. So you pretty much pulled me out of my sad little hole. And you're right about the whole Saturday and school thing…I totally let that slip my mind.

Oh, and I got to read the sixth volume…finally! So some of the stuff that happened in there will come up in this chapter.

I don't own Loveless.

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Aren't You Hurting Too?

Soubi had taken him out to eat first, they were sitting in McDonalds because that's what Ritsuka had chosen. And he had no objections to that, of course, Soubi wasn't eating anything though. The only thing that he had was a large cup of ice water and that was it. Ritsuka sat there with a cheeseburger and french fries, except he was just kind of picking around his food lazily. It was almost as if he had lost his appetite or something, Soubi wanted to say something if this kept up.

Ritsuka, however, was off in his own little world and might not have even heard if Soubi had spoken to him. He was staring outside a nearby window and seeing all the littler kids on the outside playground equipment. Their parents sitting at the little tables with their food and keeping an eye on their own children. It hurt Ritsuka to watch this, not because he never really got to play on the playground at McDonalds, but because he remembered when Seimei would take him to the park.

They used to go after Ritsuka got out of school. Seimei would get him ice cream and then they would go to the park, and his brother would push him in the swing or something like that. Those memories stung at his heart slightly and he glanced down at his french fries as he picked another one up and barely dipped it into the ketchup. Now was the time when Soubi had to say something.

"Ritsuka…you seem like you aren't so hungry." Soubi murmured quietly as he took a slow sip from his straw. He set his cup down and it wasn't until then when the boy looked up at him and then shrugged a little before adverting his gaze back towards the window.

"I'm fine…just…thinking." The younger one whispered as he gave off a sigh and forced a couple more fries down his throat. He wasn't really in the mood to eat, nor was he even hungry at all. However, he would then feel terrible if he didn't eat because Soubi was paying for all of this. So once he had gotten halfway through his fries he unwrapped his cheeseburger and took a small bite out of it.

Soubi dropped it and watched as Ritsuka ate so slowly, he knew that he wasn't hungry. "Ritsuka, if you aren't hungry then it's alright…"

"No!" He snapped suddenly and looked up at Soubi. "You paid for this so I'm going to eat it!" He grabbed his drink and took a sip from it before grabbing his cheeseburger once again. And Soubi pushed it no longer.

Finally, when Ritsuka was done eating, Soubi grabbed his trash and went to throw it away for him. Then he came back to the table and grabbed the other's hand gently before pulling him out of McDonalds. Now that the boy was fed, they could go out and do whatever it is that they wanted. However, he was relying on Ritsuka to say where he wanted to go…and he had no idea where to take him if the other didn't give any input.

"We'll get on the bus…but where do you want to go?" Soubi finally questioned as they approached the bus stop together. Ritsuka stood there next to the bench and the sign that designated that this was the bus stop.

"I want to go…to the mall." Ritsuka said quietly as he had made up his mind. He glanced up at Soubi and the older man almost seemed shocked by this request, and was about to ask why. But he didn't, or at least for now he didn't. The only reason Ritsuka wanted to go was that it was one place that he and Soubi hadn't been together that he could think of at the moment. Even though…Seimei had taken him there all the time, and it might hurt to walk up and down along the stores with Soubi just as he did with his brother, but maybe Soubi could create a distraction.

As they boarded the bus together, they of course sat next to each other. However, for once, Ritsuka was pushing himself close to Soubi, wrapping both of his smaller arms around one of Soubi's arms. He gave off a sigh and buried his face against the sleeve of the older man's jacket. Soubi knew this whole time that something was wrong, but now that Ritsuka was actually showing some sort of emotion…he just wanted him to let it all out. And he wouldn't ask any questions until later on.

The bus started to roll down the street and Ritsuka replaced himself, just resting his cheek against Soubi's arm now. They stayed that way in silence for pretty much the whole bus ride, because they were almost both too afraid to say anything. Perhaps not afraid…but worried about what might be said.

The bus made many stops before it was their own, and Ritsuka finally took a glance up at Soubi. The man had no expression on his face, he seemed so emotionless…and seemed that way often from time to time. It was odd, in many ways, he and Soubi were alike.

Soubi took notice of the fact that Ritsuka was staring at him and looked down, and gave off a gentle smile to the boy. He wanted to make this outing a perfect one so that whatever Ritsuka had on his mind, it was be a temporary distraction of some sort. They stayed silent still and finally their stop came. Soubi stood and grabbed Ritsuka's hand softly and tugged him throughout the bus and then out of the door and onto the sidewalk. There they stood, in front of the mass expansion of the building that was the mall. Ritsuka shifted slightly before starting off towards the front doors, dragging Soubi along with him this time.

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It was odd being there with Soubi, to Ritsuka. He was so used to letting his brother bring him here and them having the time of their lives together. It almost hurt to see some of the same stores there where they used to go…and he always tried to look away or not even notice them, or show any interest to do inside them. Even though…they were the ones that he wanted to go inside the most. Maybe just because he could stand in one spot and remember something about Seimei, something to make his memories to last so much longer and become more real.

However, he avoided that because he was afraid of a small breakdown. Maybe not here in the mall directly, but once he got home and was away from Soubi…yes, that's when he would have his own little moment. They walked into a record store and Ritsuka noticed that it hadn't been here the last time he'd been at the mall. Which was good, nothing to remind him of Seimei in here…or at least he hoped anyway. Soubi scanned some of the racks for nothing in particular, he was just curious to see what they had in there. Ritsuka stayed close beside him, not finding anything that he wanted in here at all. But he did want something to remember this day by, he didn't know what but he did want something.

Soubi seemed to read his thoughts it seemed as he reached down for the boy's hand and dragged him out of the store. They went a little ways before reaching a certain store, a rather girly store in fact…Ritsuka wasn't embarrassed to be in there or anything. Soubi might be, but whatever. A couple of girls at a nearby earring rack giggled amongst themselves. They both seemed to ignore this.

"I'll pick out a necklace for you, and you pick out earrings for me." Soubi said simply with a tiny smirk on his lips, leaning down to press a small kiss to the boy's cheek before going off to search for that necklace. Ritsuka made a face and lingered towards the earring rack, trying to ignore the stupid girls standing around there. They looked to be about his age as well.

Ritsuka set his eyes upon a pair of earrings that were shaped like pink cupcakes. It made him laugh from just seeing those and he immediately knew that that was what he wanted Soubi to have. And he knew that his fighter would wear them without any objections at all. So he picked up those and went to reunite with Soubi, who seemed to be holding something in his hand as well.

The boy held out the cupcake earrings and Soubi tried to keep a straight face as he held out the necklace that he had. It was just a blue string with a rather enthusiastic looking dancing purple flower attached to it. They both burst into laughs.

- - - -

About an hour or so later, they were leaving the mall. Soubi was opening the earring package and taking out the current ones he had in. And then replaced them with the pink cupcakes with a grin. Ritsuka took the necklace and placed it around his neck. He seemed happier now as Soubi and the hilarious gifts that they had given each other had distracted his thoughts. That was good, but what was to happen later when he was alone tonight? Perhaps Soubi would spend the night with him so that he wouldn't be so alone and upset then.

"Thank you for my necklace." Ritsuka said softly as he glanced up at Soubi and his cupcakes attached to his ears. Soubi smiled and leaned down to capture the boy's lips with his own, softly. It didn't last though, because he could feel the slight heat on Ritsuka's face already, mainly because others were standing around to witness this.

"Let's go to the park…there's just one right down the street. I've been here before many times." Ritsuka nodded as he started his way down the sidewalk and expecting for Soubi to follow him.

- - - -

Once they had reached the park Ritsuka had chosen and secluded park bench away from everyone and everything else. He sat there and Soubi sat next to him and there was silence until Ritsuka had posed a question to his fighter.

"What's going to happen if Seimei is still alive?" The boy asked quietly and shifted on the park bench slightly.

"I…" Soubi stopped and glanced towards one direction, watching a few birds drinking from what looked like a rather old bird bath. "He's dead." He said simply, and sticking to his answer it seemed.

"Bull. I have so many people saying that he's alive." Ritsuka said rather roughly and gave Soubi a glare that the older man refused to look at.

"Who will you believe? Me? Or them?" The man finally looked down and was met with the boy's glare. The only time that he liked for him to look at him like that was when he was just teasing him and having an anger spurt.

Ritsuka was quiet for a while as he looked down at the old sidewalk and green grass coming up through its cracks. His fingers traced the lines of the wood on the park bench as he did so. "I don't know what to believe. But I want proof that he's really dead, or really alive. I have to have something…some sign. Can't you see that it's tearing me apart, and it is you two! You just don't admit it, you think you're so tough! Think you can hide all your emotions when I really know that you're hurting! You want him just as much as I do, so why don't you have a little hope left that he's alive?" The boy went off on one of his tangents again that he gets sometimes when he starts to become angry.

"Because if he is alive then he is a wanted man, and he will be dead in no time if that's the case." Soubi put it in simple terms and Ritsuka just stared at him. Ritsuka wanted to argue with that, to say that he would keep Seimei in secrecy if he were to still be alive, but he knew that he'd never be able to do it. And if Seimei was out there alive, somewhere, he didn't want to risk getting him actually killed before something could be sorted out. And he hated it when Soubi won fights like these, maybe not a fight but a…discussion. He hated it so much, he wanted to be the one to have the last word for once but he knew that couldn't happen right now. Actually…he might be able to.

"Aren't you hurting?" Ritsuka asked cautiously and watched as Soubi sat there silently before standing up.

"Maybe we should head back home?"

"No!" Ritsuka stood up as well, his anger creeping back up into him. "You can't act like this forever! You can't just push away all your feelings and keep them bottled up inside! That's not a good thing to do, Soubi."

"You do it as well, Ritsuka." Soubi told him in a calm tone of voice.

"That's not the point! The point is that you do it worse than I do. And we both have the same problem, don't you think it'd be a little easier if we both coped with it together? I know you know that he's out there, Soubi, I know that you know he's alive…he is, isn't he?" Ritsuka demanded, his eyes never leaving Soubi's never unchanging expression.

Soubi considered his options in his own mind quietly. Of course Seimei was alive, he had heard him on Nisei's cell phone and that had hurt him severely…to hear that voice and know that he was still out there. It hurt so much, that Ritsuka would never be able to understand.

"I don't know." Soubi finally answered, not wanting to give Ritsuka false hopes and tell him that Seimei was alive. Yes, he was alive, but who was to say how long until he was caught?

"You make me so mad sometimes, Soubi!" Ritsuka nearly screamed and started to stomp off out of the park and back towards the bus stop. Soubi stood there before trailing after the other quietly and joining him next to the bus stop sign.

"Don't ride home with me, catch another bus." Ritsuka said as he stood up, hearing the bus coming already.

"I don't think that's safe, Ritsuka…it's a long ride home on a bus like this. Something could happen." Soubi voiced his concern even though he knew that Ritsuka wouldn't listen.

"Don't ride home with me! And that's an order!" The boy told him harshly as he stepped onto the bus and left Soubi out there on the sidewalk.

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I know…so abrupt ending, but oh well. Find out what happens on the next chapter?!?! Review please!