Warnings: Slash
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note... and I am glad I don't, cause then everyone would have gotten to know about my love for male-action. Which would have been kind of embarrasing, even if I, myself couldn't care less.
A/N: Okay! So, I know it has been a long time, but here I am with a chapter more than twice as long as the previous ones! So hey! Gimme some credit! :Giggles:
Anyway... I am leaving for vacation the next week and I'll be away for fourteen days. However, I think I will be able to update before that, but if not, then please understand.
This chapter was a nuisance, and even though I love Ryuk, I find him more than challenging to write. He is very complex I believe.
Now, we are still mostly concentration upon Light and his feelings. I believe they are important in this. However, I will tell you... spoil to you, that the next chapter is going to hold some... cute scenes. Lol. You take that however you want to!
Thank you for reading! And please... don't feel afraid to review! You can tell me anything! Abolutely anything!
Game Over
Chapter Eight
"Death"
-
Light felt how chills started to roll down his spine. That voice was probably the last thing he had ever wanted to hear in this pathetic excuse of an afterlife. That including L's!
If L was soiling this place with his presence, Ryuk was doing it even more so. Just his appearance was grim enough to shadow the beauty of this newfound treasure that happened to be his afterlife!
What the hell was he doing here? And how did he get to this place? Was it even possible for a Shinigami to follow humans into their death?
Normally, he would have thought the answer was no, but now however, he did not have a clue of what to think. According to the rules in the Death Note, he wasn't supposed to be here either. Wherever here was... He was supposed to go to Muu, Nothingness, after his death, but instead he was here in this vibrant, deserted forest beneath a bright, blue sky. Even a five year old would see the illogic.
As he gazed into the grim face of his previous partner -hell what was he even thinking? Ryuk had never been his partner, just a damned nuisance following him around!- he was overcome by the need to throw something at someone. Having him here, so close, after what he had just done, after he'd betrayed him, made the hazel eyed man so damned angry...
Fuck!
Ryuk seemed to notice his inner turmoil, and judging by the growing smile on his face, he was rather enjoying it as well. Still hovering above them in the air, the Death God wondered if Light Yagami would ever change. His attitude seemed exactly the same now, as when he was alive. Even the scowl was in place.
Hyuk Hyuk, he's just the same as he always was.
"Is this your doing?" Light snarled, pulling him out of his thoughts. The reaper blinked a few times, and the almost innocent gesture made the young man growl angrily.
Hands balling into fists, he bit his tongue in anooyance. Whatever the Death God was doing here, he would get him to confess the reason behind his presence, no matter what! He was not going to allow the Shinigami to play games with him anymore, and now he had nothing to lose. He could say and do whatever he wanted!
At his outburst, Ryuk gave a small, raw chuckle. A sound that caused Light grit his teeth until he heard them crunch.
"My doing?" He shook his head faintly before seizing Light with an intense stare. "Light," he drawled in his usual raspy voice, "didn't I tell you that Shinigami can't control the afterlife?"
His grin widened, revealing another couple of inches with pearly white, razor-sharp fangs. The sight made Light's stomach churn. He'd always hated that smile. It reminded him of a shark ready for attack. The only thing missing was the ugly eye rolling.
"I was just as surprised as you, when I found out you were here." He use one of his bony arms to gesture towards the surroundings. "According to the Note, your death should have taken you to nothing but emptiness, remember?"
"Wait a minute," Light narrowed his eyes, "what do you mean by 'when you found I was here'?" He took a step towards the Shinigami, "how exactly did you find out? And where the heck is here anyway?" He did not expect the bastard to give him a decent answer, but he felt like he had to ask nonetheless. He had to figure out as much as possible regarding this place and it's purpose.
Like predicted, Ryuk just grinned wider. "Keep your patience up Light. Everything will be revealed when it's time."
L had yet to speak, and when Light spared him a glance, he noticed that the detective was staring at Ryuk, a thoughtful expression grazing his features. His nemesis seemed far away, and yet, Light new that beneath that blank stare, a brilliant mind was working like an engine during high-speed. Surely, L was trying to make something of this situation, and Light actually found himself curious of what the insomniac was thinking. Maybe L had noticed something he hadn't?
Ryuk, the betrayer, as Light had decided to name him, saw his look and turned his ragged head in L's direction.
When the insomniac seized his gaze, and gleaming, yellow globes met misty, black ones, an odd spark was lit within the Death God's eyes. Light saw his features change slightly, and the ever present grin took a somewhat different form. As he regarded the detective, his face turned creepier than Light had ever seen it, and with a small shiver, he was reminded of a cat who'd just eaten a big, tasty rat. Subconsciously, he took a step closer to L, and he noticed that his movements caused the Shinigami to trail him from the corner if his eyes.
A hoarse little laugh escaped the reaper. "So it is true."
Light snapped. "What is?!"
Ryuk apparently decided to ignore him, and without as much as a glance, he turned to L. He stared at the detective for a couple of seconds before he opened his mouth with a small chuckle.
"Our paths crosses once more Lawliet."
To his enormous surprise, Light noticed that L looked as unaffected as ever. His eyes showed no emotion at all, his white porcelain mask never slipping. He simply regarded the Death God, not batting as much as a lash. The only thing that gave him away was the fact that he was slightly more hunched than usual. Whenever presented with a situation he did not feel comfortable with, L tended to crane his neck even more, making his already crooked back appear even more so. This was something Light had seen several times during the Kira investigation, so when it occurred now, he was able to see it at once. During the period when they were handcuffed together, Light had learned almost all there was to know about L's many quirks and habits, this being one of them.
However, he did not think Ryuk noticed, since he wasn't as used to being around the detective as he was.
Light could not bring himself to speak. Instead, he just watched L, absentmindedly searching for signs that could tell him anything about what the detective was currently feeling.
L, however, gave him no clues, as he simple stood there, hands in his pockets as if the Death God's appearance did nothing but bore him. "I was wondering how you would look," the Shinigami mused. Then, amusement flashed in his eyes, "I see you haven't really changed at all."
"No," L replied, voice smooth like velvet, "it would appear that I look exactly the same now, as I did when I was alive." He regarded the reaper silently for a couple of seconds, before opening his mouth once more. "Unlike you, Shinigami."
Ryuk's grin widened, and at this point, it was impossible to describe how scary he looked. "So you noticed." His tone almost seemed impressed. "Even with a mind like yours, that's not given."
Light was confused, and it annoyed him that he didn't know what they were talking about. "What?" He barked, "noticed what?"
L's upper lip curled a little and he turned to Light, his hair fluttering around his cheekbones. "Take a look at him Light-kun. Do you think he looks the same as he did when he accompanied you in the human realm?" L's voice was calm, but his eyes shone at Light with an inner fire, as if he was trying to get some sort of message across. Light furrowed his brows. "What?"
The insomniac tightened his jaws, and at his side, Ryuk chuckled. "Look at the Shinigami, Light-kun."
Still frowning, Light did as he was told -even though he hated to take orders from L- and shifted his gaze to the Death God.
They stared at each other.
Light didn't get it. To him, Ryuk looked precisely the same now, as he'd done when they first met. His stare intensified. What was he supposed to look for? Ryuk did nothing to prevent his eyes from roaming over his body, in fact, he seemed to enjoy this little game, the only thing moving about him being is lips tugging further upwards. Light felt lost. Apparently L wanted him to see something. L had noticed something he had not. What in hell could it be?
His eyes narrowed. Then, he saw it. There, in the Death God's face, just above his right eye, a small, almost invisible scar stretched across pale blue skin. However, that was not what drew the most attention. Once he had seen that, he also saw something far more intriguing. Something he did not fully understand.
"Your eye..." he breathed, brows furrowing at the sight. "There's something different about your eye."
And true. There was indeed a difference. How could he not have noticed? The Shinigami's right eye was somewhat clouded, not nearly as bright as the other one, and the red pupil seemed darker, more brownish. It was in fact rather obvious. How could he have missed it?
Ryuk nodded affirmatively. "Yes."
"What is it?" Light asked, still not sure of what to make of these news.
When Ryuk did not answer right away, but kept quiet, a grim look of amusement lingering on his features, L stepped forward, hands still in his pockets. "He's blind Light-kun."
Light's head snapped up. "What?"
L gave a small nod, and beside him, Light heard Ryuk snicker. "His right eye is blind." The detective paused a little before pointing at the Death God's right eye. "As you can see, his eye is covered by this almost see through membrane. And even if it moves along with the other one, it's not really trailing anything. It's dead."
Light felt like gaping. "Ryuk?" he demanded, voice a little too soft for his own liking, "is this the truth? You're blind?"
Ryuk chuckled. "Only partly, Light."
"But... how did that happen?" The young man was stunned. Could Shinigami even suffer from blindness?
"That's not your business." The Death God's tone was teasing, but firm. "Maybe I'll tell you sometime. If I feel like it."
Light scowled. "Fine. It's not like I care anyway." However, that was a lie. He was in fact really curious about this, and he made a mental note that said he was going to figure it out some day.
"Well, Light." The Death God drawled after a couple of seconds in silence, "I was rather hoping we'd meet again." He gave a cough, "you see, life in the human realm was much more fun when you were around. After you so carelessly revealed yourself as Kira," he grinned like a maniac, clearly enjoying the vibrant blush that crept to Light's cheeks. "I lingered for a while... In the human world that is." He sighed. "I even dropped my notebook again to see what would happen."
At this, L's body went rigid and his head snapped up, ebony eyes locking with the Shinigami's. "You dropped the Death Note again?!"
He sounded shocked and angered.
Ryuk just huffed. "Yeah..." he used a lanky hand to scratch his solid chin, "I did, but it was no fun." Heaving another sigh, the Death God lowered himself in the air, so that his feet were touching the grass covered hill. "The man who picked it up was a sheer idiot compared to Light. He used it to punish his cheating wife. Didn't take that kid long to seek him out and hand him the death penalty."
Light's squinted towards the Death God. "Who, Near?!" He spat, lips twisting in a predatory sneer. He was about to give both Ryuk and L a little speech concerning his feelings towards Nate River, but before he got as far, he the Death God's words fully seeped in and he was left rather speechless.
"But Ryuk..." he managed to mouth after a short second of silence, lowering his voice for the first time since Ryuk's appearance. "It's only been a day or so since..." he refused to say it, "How did all that manage to happen in such a short period of time?"
The Death God's eyes lit up, sending jolts of electricity through Light's body. It was as if the clouds darkened, and suddenly, a chill that seemed to pool from somewhere inside of him made goosebumps appear on his skin.
"Light..." the reaper started, moving closer to the young man, "don't you, with your brilliant mind and all, realize that time doesn't work the same way in life as in the afterlife?" He sounded amused, as if he found it extremely weird that Light hadn't figured this out by himself. "You really thought I would come after only a day?"
"How many years?" He asked, voice trembling slightly. "How many years have I been dead?"
Ryuk noticed his unease. "Now now Light, what does it matter? You're dead... shouldn't be much more to worry about."
Light felt sick. Balling his fists, he stepped closer to the Shinigami. "No, Ryuk, don't even start with me. Just answer the question!" He gritted his teeth, "now!"
"Still harboring that infamous persistence I see..." He snorted. "What makes you think that I am going to spill everything to you?"
"The fact that you fucking came here!" The hazel eyed man was seething now, and with a speed that seemed to surprise even the Death God, he rushed forward and pushed Ryuk in the chest. The reaper's skin felt weird against his palms. Cold, as if wasn't really skin at all. However, he did not pay much attention to it, as he was far more concerned about the current situation.
Yet, the odd sensation lingered in the back of his mind and would do so for a long time.
"Tell me!" he screeched as Ryuk took a step back, that ugly grin still plastered on his face. "Tell me how long I have been dead, you damn bastard!" He was shaking now, and to his immense annoyance, tears were forming in his eyes. Damn! He was not supposed to cry over this! Not in front of Ryuk! And most certainly not in front of L.
"Ten years."
Light blinked.
"What?" His voice came out nothing but a hoarse whisper.
"Ten years." Ryuk sounded bored.
Light couldn't believe it. He had been dead for ten years? Ten fucking years?
His breath caught in his throat and his heart seemed to cool down in his veins, as if pure ice had been poured into them. He couldn't keep his eyes from traveling to L, and with a little snort, he noticed that the detective was wiggling his toes in the grass, biting his thumbnail as if he didn't even care. Gross. That habit was so disgusting. Hadn't he just used his hands to ravish the dirt?
Gross indeed. Better not pay attention to him.
He turned to the Death God. "Ten years?" he repeated, feeling how the words fell to the ground like heavy stones.
"Yes. Ten years, using human years."
"Oh..."
Of course, 'oh' was not nearly everything that went trough his mind at that point, but it was all he managed to get out. He felt drained of energy, as if a switch had been turned off inside of him, shutting off his power.
Ten years...
That was a long time. A very long time. So much could happed in ten years! Had he lived for those ten years, who knew where he would have been now? He could have gotten married, had children, another education... He swallowed.
Ten years...
Above them, the sky had taken a softer color and the parting clouds had gained an orange lining, symbolizing night was on it's way. Light was a bit taken aback by this, seeing as he was reminded of the fact that they had only been in this place for a day or so, while on earth, he had been dead for ten years. Dead. He was dead.
It was too surreal, too far away and too big to imagine. He couldn't even swallow pieces of it, and he doubted L could either.
He frowned.
L.
L was with him in this. A stranger, more ironic thought was not imaginable. Out of all the people fate could have picked, it had chosen L to stay with him in the afterlife. L! His goddamn nemesis! There were many things Light wanted to understand, many things he needed to know, but this, the fact that he was here with L, was the one thing that bothered him the most. He'd been asking himself why probably over a hundred times, but not once had he even gotten close to an answer. It simply wasn't understandable.
Suddenly, he came to think of Ryuks words when he's seen L earlier.
"So it's true..."
The young mass-murderer bit his lip.
"So it's true..."
What the hell was that supposed to mean? He'd demanded to know, but the reaper had ignored his question. Typical Ryuk. Whether he had done so to be mean, or simply because he did not know pick up Light's question, he wasn't sure, but one thing he knew, was that if it was up to Ryuk, he'd never tell Light anything just to be nice. No, quite contrary, he would amuse himself by keeping silent, taking pleasure in Light's confusion.
He scowled.
That damned Death God. The traitor!
He was never going to trust that bastard ever again. He'd done so once. With the most precious thing he had. His life. He had cried, begged, screamed for help. For anything that could get him out of that horrible situation.
Obviously, his prayers had not been answered.
He died that day. Alone and wounded, with no one but a bunch of his enemies around him. Enemies that had once seen him as their friend. Their companion through seven years.
Fools.
He had never thought of any of them as something equal to friends, never had he enjoyed their company. Ever. No one in the investigation team beside his father had ever prevented him with a nice time or a good memory. No one was even worthy of remembrance. No one except—
Enough!
He mentally slapped himself.
Enough of those thoughts! He had hated every single one of them! With a passion! Period.
Ten years...
That brat was his age now. No, now is not a good time to think about Nate River.
Fuck him!
Blocking out the pair of grayish, gloomy eyes that pierced his mind at the thought of the kid, his thought drifted further and he thought about his family. His mother and Sayu. He didn't even manage to think about his father. That memory was still a little too painful, even if he still thought he had done the only thing possible by letting him die.
Instead he thought about It didn't really hurt him to think about them and he was not consumed by guilt or anything of the likes. All he felt was this odd kind of melancholy. Not the kind that tore your insides apart and felt like a stab in the gut, the one that gave you nightmares and made you cry. No, it was the kind that sends one back to a time where the days were longer, brighter and filled with much more laughter and far less sorrow. He wondered if they missed him, if they ever thought of him despite the fact that he was, or had been at least, Kira. Suddenly he was tempted to ask Ryuk about his funeral. Had he even gotten one? And if so, where was his body buried?
It was a weird thought. Somewhere out there, in a completely different dimension, his lifeless shell was buried, far beneath the ground. He shuddered. No, there was no way he'd ask Ryuk about that. The Shinigami would probably just laugh at him. Speaking of the devil. With a sneer, he noticed that Ryuk was watching him with that wicked, wild grin still plastered on his face
"What are you looking at, Ryuk?" He snapped, flicking his hair out his his eyes.
Shaking his large head, the Shinigami lifted his hand and pointed directly at Light's face, a sharp claw reflecting the glimmering sunlight. "They're still talking about you, you know." He grinned. "Those silly humans. Some of them are still worshiping Kira."
"What?" Light felt his heart flutter at the Death Gods's words.
Ryuk tilted his head. "Are you surprised? Well," he chuckled, "it's true. There are still rumors about Kira... Some says he's coming back one day, others that he is still alive, lingering. That he is still protecting them from evil." The Shinigami laughed hoarsely, his nostrils widening slightly. "Apparently, they are unaware of the truth... Or they don't believe it at least."
He shrugged. "Kira has become something akin to a legend."
"And you..." The Death God turned his head towards L and nodded slowly, his spiky head bobbing, "you have also gained quite a lot of fans back there."
L's eyes narrowed underneath his bangs. "Me?" he asked, raising his brows. "How could I possibly have fans in the human world?" he seemed skeptical, as if he believed Ryuk was not telling him the truth. "I died long before Light-kun," Light actually flinched at his words, "and as far as I know, Kira, " a pointed glare was directed at the offended, "was the one to blame for that. If I was outsmarted by him, and he has followers, how could anyone still favor me?
"Well..." Ryuk cleared his throat. "Maybe you have forgotten detective, but you are not the only one who have ever called yourself L."
At his words, L's eyes lit up, and with an almost proud expression, he raised his chin. "Mello and Near."
Ryuk hummed in agreement, "Yes. They continued the battle long after your departure. And as you can see..." he gestured towards Light, "they succeeded. That's why they still believe in you back there. Some even think of you as the world's savior. L, the great detective. Kira's opposite."
As he listened to the Death God, Light could only stare. What was the Shinigami saying? After all those years, the world still spoke of Kira (well, L too, but he ignored that part)? After ten fucking years?
He felt amazed at the thou—
No! No, he wasn't amazed. Not at all!
Waves of electricity rushed thought his veins.
Of course they remembered him! He was Kira! God!
He was the one who had seen the light! The only one who had ever succeeded in ridding the world of evil. He had been the one to start the cleaning process, the single person who'd found a way out of the stinking, rotten mess the world had become!
Feeling how his whole body gained more energy, he straightened his back. "Of course Ryuk," he replied, voice once again calm and cold as ice, "Kira was the only one who ever gave them something to believe in. the only one who prevented them with hope." His gaze hardened. "Why wouldn't they remember that? Why wouldn't they remember me?"
At his side, L stiffened and when Light turned his head towards him, he noticed that the insomniac's eyes were dark as coal, scolding. He was mad, angry. And Light could not help but to flinch a little at that look. The detective loathed Kira and everything he stood for. He was Kira's complete opposite. His worst enemy.
Well... so?
What the heck did it matter?
Light felt his own eyes burn, and without another glance, he turned away from L. Who the hell cared what he thought?
He felt confident now, at ease. He was still Kira, God of the new world. They hadn't forgotten about him. He was still worshiped still loved.
His thoughts suddenly flickered to Misa and with a frown he recalled the images from the dream. Misa's black, empty eyes, looking right through him, as if he was not really there.
He shivered.
Those eyes... They were like nothing he had ever seen before. Pained, soulless, sick. Not Misa's eyes at all.
She used to be so cheerful, so impulsive. Even though she drove him mad more than half the time, he's somehow admired that in her. Her ability to never lose faith in him. Her optimism.
And although he had often cursed her for being so damn dense, so absentminded, he knew that she's been his most loyal servant.
A servant... That was all she'd been to him. Not a friend. Not a lover. Not from his side anyway.
In awe, he suddenly realized that he felt ashamed.
"Ryuk," he breathed without thinking, "what happened to her?"
Ryuk regarded him for a moment and with a small smirk, Light remembered how he'd used to look that way each time Light presented him to one of his new plans. Back when they had worked together in his younger years. "Who?" The Shinigami asked, clearly puzzled by his sudden question.
"Misa," Light replied. "What happened to her after I..." He still could not say it.
"Oh..." The reapers ever present grin faltered for a moment and for the first time ever, Light thought he saw a small hint of sadness, or something similar to that in those usually leering eyes. "She killed herself."
Light felt the air being sucked out of his lungs. "What?" He couldn't believe it. "She did what?"
Ryuk nodded faintly. "When the investigation ended." He shrugged, regaining his usual bored appearance. "She jumped from a building. Apparently your death and the fact that you were Kira caused her to lose it. Or rather her ability to go on in life."
Light was shocked. Misa had killed herself? Misa was dead? Because of him?
Somehow the idea of it, made his head spin and he couldn't wrap his mind around it. Misa, the vibrant annoying woman he'd known for seven years was gone? In his mind, he could almost hear her voice. The hopeless, squeaky emphasis that used to drive him insane. He heard her laughter. He didn't even have to concentrate. Musical waves of laughter rang in his ears, spilling splatters of colors everywhere.
Then, it died abruptly.
Died.
Just like her.
Like Misa.
She had been in pain. And by the looks of it, much pain as well. So much in fact, that she's decided she was better off dead.
He felt how his knees began to shake all of a sudden, and with a little yelp, he lost balance.
A strong pair of arms prevented him from falling.
Dundundun!