Title: The Life and Times of Ianto Jones as Witnessed by a Distinguished Feline (7/12)
Pairing: Jack/Ianto main, but there's a whole lot of everything in the mix.
Rating: PG-13-R
Summary: Moses had a good life. In fact, he was inclined to believe he had an exceptionally good life. And then he lost Estelle. Now he has Ianto, and he thinks maybe it was always meant to be. Witness the life and loves of Ianto Jones through the eyes of one extremely observant feline.
Disclaimer: RTD and BBC owns them...I cry a little on the inside typing those words.
Warnings/Spoilers: Oh...just about everything. Also, there is minor bashing...but it hardly counts, it's from a cat ^_^.
Authors notes: A different look into everyone's favorite Tea-boy, through a distinctly different pair of eyes. Reviews are adored and cherished and I would love to hear what everyone thinks! Did not mean to take so long, so sorry, and thank you to all the well-wishers for my cruise! I had a great time! Enjoy.

Part Seven: A Meticulous Account of the Various Methods of Revenge a Feline can Enact

To explain the where and how of the Stomper's return, Moses had to reflect on the past few days, all the while staring (quite balefully, mind you) at the suddenly returned Human…who smelt all the stranger. But Moses steeled his nose; he had a mission to see through after all and wasn't about to be deterred because of an oddness that had been uncomfortably amplified. He supposed that the past few days should have been the glowing, neon fish-sign proclaiming the Stomper's return, what with all the strange rumblings and whirring that had been going on around Cardiff.

It all started, really, with a blowfish, as his Ianto put it (which was odd enough to Moses…delicious fishies did not walk on land as far as he knew), and a very fast car. Moses would say it started with the odd looking Not Human man in a untidy suit who had been wandering around outside with a very pleasant looking girl, who both reeked of the Stomper, even from up on Moses' ledge and vantage point, but he could accept his Ianto's answer as well. From the blowfish and fast car, things had seemed to progress down a very bizarre path, to the sudden (and somewhat unwelcome, Moses was sure) return of the Stomper, another strange smelling Human who was a rather inappropriate name (not Moses' words, but he trusted his Ianto's judgment, even if it was quite harsh), and a confusing mess of time that involved doing a day over (Moses was not sure what that meant, as his Ianto had not left all that long ago…and certainly not a whole day).

Moses would have been very surprised at this strange detailing of the day…but the Stomper was now present once more so that explained everything to him. That and the ever present 'Torchwood' answer. His Ianto would see that eventually and not look so frazzled about silly 'Torchwood' matters (really, Moses would have thought he'd be used to it by this point).

Moses had been napping most nicely during this entire sequence of events (and while it all seemed exciting, he was ultimately glad he had just been napping), but was being filled in on all that had happened as his Ianto rummaged through the apartment for whatever it was Humans always seemed to need but misplaced (like keys, Moses had observed). It was a little confusing, as his Ianto was describing an entire day that had apparently already happened within only an hour or so, but Moses was intelligent enough to know it involved Torchwood and that explained all. No, what had really confused and caught his attention were the rueful descriptions of how the Stomper was returned to them.

In an instant, all the thoughts of vengeance and defending his Ianto's honor came rushing back from the obscurity of his mind where they had been lulled into complacency from the normal going-ons. But no longer, Moses had thought has he shook all remaining vestiges of sleepiness off and smiled in a manner that only felines can (which was terrifying enough by itself, mind you…a smiling cat is a plotting cat). He knew that, eventually, the Stomper would be here (regardless of his Ianto's opinion of the disreputable Human and anger the cur would have incurred upon himself) and then, Moses would begin to make him rue the day he thought to fool around with his Ianto's precarious disposition!

Which brought him to now, staring at the Stomper from his perch on top the couch with all the disdain a feline can muster (which is quite a lot) towards the oblivious Human who had no fathoming of the trouble he had gotten himself into. Yes, he might know how truly upset his Ianto was with him and expect a certain amount of "dog-house" behavior (Moses had heard this turn of phrase and quite liked it…such an apt description), but he had no clue of the revenge Moses was taking upon himself to enact. His Ianto did not know (because his Ianto was so hopelessly befuddled by the Stomper he couldn't be trusted enough in his vindictiveness) that Moses had accepted this task, but he decided that some part of the young Human would agree with his mission, so that was that.

Moses' tail twitched in anticipation and he flexed his claws into the couch cushion, a rumble forming deep in his throat. He had position…now came the test of his patience.

"…didn't really think they'd use everything on the damn deluxe menu. And Ianto, have I mentioned how much I've missed your coffee?"

Moses did not hear his Ianto's response, either because it was too faint (not likely, Moses prided himself on his hearing) or he had given none. Moses was inclined to believe the latter as his Ianto had a vast array of responses and insults that could all be done with a word spoken; it was quite impressive really. The Stomper, however, was not deterred and plowed along; Moses nose wrinkled in distaste.

"So, want to fill me in on what I've missed? Beyond the obvious new rebellion now growing in our own Gwen and you carrying a gun, very sexy by the way."

"She was acting leader in your absence, it's only natural she took on a tendency to having things done her own way, I wouldn't classify it as rebellion. And you were the one who insisted I have arms proficiency."

"That didn't really answer my question"

"No it didn't, sir."

"Back to 'sir' are we? Look, Ianto—"

"Jack." Moses perked up as he saw his Ianto finally wander out of the kitchen, still in his suit pants dress shirt, but the tie and vest were gone, the sleeves rolled up and he was barefoot. Moses felt a swell of pride at the sight of a completely composed and relaxed picture his Ianto made, strong and serene even when faced with a mate who had jilted him quite callously. It distracted him momentarily from his mission, but not enough to miss the Stomper inch ever closer to his imminent doom.

"You don't need to give me winding explanations that explain very little about where you were, who you were with, or what you did, nor do I expect you to give them to me. You're back and in the end that's all that really matters, as far as I'm concerned."

The Stomper was silent for a moment, but didn't move. Moses cursed inwardly. "You know who I was with." It wasn't a question.

"Not hard to figure out, sir; it's not particularly mysterious muttering about 'the right kind of Doctor' around someone who worked at Torchwood One for a stint." His Ianto gave the Stomper the smallest of smiles, and tilted his head slightly to the side. Moses was once again distracted from his mission by just how enchanting his Human could be at times, downright feline in mannerism (an always admirable quality). "Screaming 'doctor' didn't help you either."

"I suppose not." Moses pushed aside any sympathy that arose from the shadow that passed over the Stomper's face; this wasn't the time for weakness, not in the face of vengeance that needed to be dealt. "But I came back, and I meant what I said about why."

"I know."

"You don't believe me."

"Don't put words in my mouth, Jack." His Ianto paused for a moment and then continued. "And don't respond to that with 'what about something else,' either."

The Stomper opened his mouth to reply, but it slowly melted into one of those genuine smiles that Moses used to think had been a redeeming feature and he let out a soft laugh. The laugh caught his Ianto's attention (and Moses did NOT approve of the answering smile he saw there…that was why his Ianto needed Moses to enact his revenge; the young Human forgave much too easily), and while the tension, hurt, and guilt still permeated between, Moses noted that an understanding had taken up residence as well. Understanding that meant a whole lot more than words that were just words, understanding that accepted guilt, showed reservation, but ultimately said that each Human was missed in some form.

That made no difference to Moses when factored into his plan of retribution, but it was pleasant to see nonetheless.

"So…about that date?"

"I highly doubt that now you're back any of the others will give you a night off, Jack."

"Oh, I don't know, I can be pretty persuasive." Moses scowled at how the Stomper looped an arm around his Ianto's (that's right, Moses wasn't sharing anymore) waist and pulled him closer. On the bright side though, the Stomper had just sealed his doom.

"So I've heard, from a number of sources as of tonight, yesterday…whenever."

Moses crouched and readied himself, tail whipping back and forth.

"I hope you're not talking about Jo—"

Alas, Moses never did hear the end of that sentence as he pounced straight for the Stomper from the top of the couch. And yes, he did get scolded quite badly and was locked in the bedroom for the duration of the night (which Moses just counted as another victory as now the Stomper's nefarious plans to mate with his Ianto were also thwarted), but the high pitched yell and bloody scratches he left behind made it all worthwhile.

And as Moses had been carried to his Ianto's room, Moses had stared at the Stomper's thunderous expression (Moses reveled in the long, angry marks that stood out against the Stomper's forearms and hands, admiring his handiwork) and thought only one thing…bring it on, Human.

**

As Moses expected, the Stomper did not go quietly into that good night after the initial attack (honestly, and he thought canines were obstinate…), but he was far from discouraged. The very next day, the Stomper appeared after what could only be called a slow day (if his Ianto's presence before nine at night was any indication), and had carelessly tossed his large, grey coat on one of his napping spots. Really, Moses thought with evil glee and a prance in his step, the Stomper just made it too easy for him.

He kneaded, rolled over, bit at buttons, and even spat up a hairball (he had a lot of fur, hairballs happened from time to time…it was the cost of having a pristinely clean coat) on the wonderfully soft fabric, hopping off the couch and coat once he figured he had done all he could. The coat was sturdy material to be sure, but Moses thought he had done fairly well. He noticed that neither the Stomper nor his Ianto were present (and the bedroom door was shut…Humans honestly, it's not like he wanted to peek on Human mating, blech), so he jumped onto another couch and laid down, deciding to nap instead of wait impatiently.

A loud and angry curse awoke him…it was like music to his superior ears.

"…-at's got it in for me!"

"Well, you did just leave it lying around. And it's nothing a little dry cleaning won't fix."

"Oh really? Well guess what your first chores tomorrow morning is?"

Moses watched with relish as his Ianto raised an eyebrow with an unamused look on his face. He stretched languorously and bared his teeth, fixing the Stomper with a lazy, but victorious expression, tail twitching slightly.

"Uh, that is, it definitely won't be dry cleaning this." Moses enjoyed the anxious, unbalanced expression on the Stomper's face…it was nice to see on such an insufferably arrogant Human (that kind of arrogance only looked good on felines, thank you).

The Stomper glared at Moses and tried to, ineffectively, clean up his coat; Moses hissed back. "Moe…leave him alone."

"That's it?! That thing ruins my coat and all he gets is a slap on the wrist?"

"Well, I could report him to authorities, I suppose, but I can't guarantee you'll get the justice you're looking for. Cat prosecution just isn't what it used to be, they're much too stealthy and furtive to get caught." Moses glared at his Ianto…he really shouldn't be teasing the Stomper, especially in such a playful manner. Perhaps if the teasing was spiteful and vindictive…

Eventually, Moses had to settle for a half victory in regards to the coat. It was a spectacular mess and work to be quite proud of, but his Ianto had soured the success (which was more infuriating than anything else…he was working to restore his Ianto's virtue and the silly Human was completely ruining it) by engaging in lewd behavior with the Stomper. Quite enthusiastically let it be added. There were quite a few loose buttons scattered around the flat for Moses to investigate (which was quite important business, hunting down stray buttons and skidding them across the floor in the kitchen), and he could see his Ianto's discarded shirt on the floor, not a button missing.

Moses scowled and decided a more subtle method would have to be adopted, one that his Ianto, no matter how much Moses cared about the foolish Human, couldn't muck up. No matter what his mating-addled brain (because Moses did not want to start thinking in terms of heart until the Stomper had paid…thoroughly) thought, that roguish Human had to pay.

And by Bast, Moses was going to make sure of it.

**

After his first attempt (he refused to view it as a failure still, because barring his Ianto's interference it would have been perfect…damn Humans, always meddling where they shouldn't), Moses had decided a change in tactics was necessary. If his Ianto was insistent on undermining Moses' plans for the despicable Stomper, he was going to have account for it. But that was all right; adaption was a feline's metaphoric middle name and Moses was no different than any of his brethren just because he loved with inept Humans.

The next time the Stomper was over (Moses was both elated and suspicious that the Stomper had taken to coming over much more often), he had stayed out of the way, scoping out his target in much the same manner as his Great brothers and sisters did in the wild. He needed to study the Stomper, study him so he could outmaneuver him, and outsmart his entirely too clever Ianto. His physical attacks had been quite good, but he hadn't accounted for how much of a spell the Stomper had over other Humans with his peculiar smell (he was befuddling his poor Ianto, the fiend). To overcome that weapon, Moses was going to have to outthink the Stomper.

To be completely honest, Moses didn't think it would be that difficult.

He started small, always positioning himself near the Stomper, but out of his immediate peripheral vision. If the Stomper was in the kitchen, Moses sat underneath and stared up until he was noticed. If the Stomper was relaxing on the couch, Moses would sit silently on the armrest, staring until the he was noticed. If the Stomper was in the bathroom, Moses waited outside the door, silent and strong in his posture and stare. This was a splendid tactic, as he startled the Stomper near constantly and had him jumpy after only a few times. Even better, his Ianto found it all terribly amusing and the Stomper did not.

From there, Moses steadily progressed to constant whining near the Stomper (normally, Moses thought such behavior was beneath him, but it was for a noble cause so Moses endured). His meows were higher pitched and longer, quite annoying as well, and they never let up. He got some queer looks from his Ianto, as he was perfectly behaved when the Stomper was not present, but they had been worth it. Perhaps his Ianto merely thought he had missed the Stomper (as if…) and was enthusiastically welcoming him back. Whatever he thought, this was even more effective than the constant presence had been, serving as tremendously annoying while still unnerving the Stomper. Moses preened internally at his own cunning.

The hovering and meowing naturally morphed into the next step…simultaneous occurrence, which was starting to grate his Ianto's nerves as well (something Moses felt no guilt over…he had spoiled the original plan in the first place). Moses thought that this was by far the most efficient tactic, as his well placed position on the back of the couch and an apt meow when the Stomper was particular amorous succeeded in two accounts. It punished the Stomper by preventing him from his roguish aims and dissuaded his Ianto from progressing any further in ill-advised pre-mating rituals.

Yes, every time Moses saw the Stomper glare at him, shy away from him, and eye twitch in a spastic movement that spoke to how mating-deprived the Stomper was (and how pathetic he was really…did he have no self control?), he purred deeply. Vengeance was coming along quite nicely.

**

Moses was jolted out of a nap (he had really fallen behind on his daily nap quota in his constant torturing of the Stomper) by two very unpleasant things. One, the front door slammed open, which Moses hated on an innate level and never failed to ruin whatever clam mood he was in. And two…the Stomper and his Ianto currently engaging in some vigorous kissing against the twice slammed front door, now shut, hands wandering haphazardly all over. Moses rolled his eyes and relaxed back down, eyes squinted open in his lazy, disinterested fashion, too tired to engage in any of his vengeance-gaining tactics at the moment; especially when the two looked too heated to be distracted. Moses picked his battles wisely.

He yawned and debated whether he should try and fall back asleep, deciding that he could still salvage a decent nap if he started now, but he couldn't. They were making too much damn noise. Moses lifted his head and glared at the Stomper and his Ianto (it was sad to admit that he was equally frustrated with them both), who were steadily bumping and stumbling their way towards a more comfortable surface, leaving trails of clothing on their way. Now, normally, this behavior was not altogether odd or uncommon (as the Stomper and his Ianto had done this sort of mating for quite some time prior to the rogue's absence, when Moses had foolishly approved), but there was something different this time. Something that had Moses fully awake and staring after a gradually unclothed pair of Humans, green eyes gleaming in curiosity and ears perked up in slight confusion.

But…it wasn't his Ianto that made Moses pause.

The Stomper was dexterous and nimble as ever, skillfully distracting Moses' Ianto with nefarious techniques, but it was different, Moses could tell and he never doubted his senses (no feline ever did). There was something off, bizarre with how his hands cradled the younger Human's head, moved to stroke up and down a now bare back, seemed to actually enjoy his Ianto's enthusiasm with genuine affection, not just unabashed lust. There was something not quite right with how the Stomper paused in his ministrations and just stared at Moses' Ianto, stared at him as if trying to commit a thought or image to memory. It was, Moses thought in an amazed sort of way as he watched the two Humans finally make it to the comfort of a bed, almost as if…

Moses peeked around the door, perching himself on the opposite end of the couch so he could see the room (the door was wide open, it wasn't like he was spying or anything), and was taken aback by the Stomper's very unashamed, very blatant in regards to his feelings, kiss on his Ianto. If possible, Moses noted that his Ianto looked just as taken aback, but responded quite differently than Moses.

Moses sat back and blinked a few times, trying to process the very obvious information flying through his brain. If Moses hadn't witnessed it for himself…that kiss (everything really, if Moses thought back to the past weeks and looked through things without the veil of vengeance)…it was almost as if the Stomper, in all actuality and without any false pretense…

As if the Stomper cared for his Ianto in a way that went beyond casual mating and base attraction (which was what Moses had decided had to be the only emotions before, since the Stomper had left so callously and broke his Ianto's spirit for a time). In a way that seemed to encompass the Stomper's whole being and transcended any kind of categorization or analysis. As something that could have been a primal scream of relief, grief, and a million other infinite components that couldn't be told apart from one another. Moses cocked his head to the side in a muddled type of bafflement as the Stomper promptly reversed all of the assumptions Moses had firmly believed in to characterize the odd smelling Human.

Understandably, Moses was not pleased.

Sometimes, Moses was so very frustrated by the fickle nature of Humans (acting one way one minute and a completely other way the next…it made him want to scratch every last one of them); this was one of those moments. With one last look, and a glimpse of the Stomper's hand threading through his Ianto's hair in a tender movement, he put his plans of vengeance on hold for the moment. Deciding that he didn't have nearly enough sleep to begin confronting this new development (being the so-called 'feelings' the Stomper exhibited towards Moses' Ianto), Moses turned away from what he supposed could be called a poignant moment between the two (what them making all sorts of silly looking 'eyes' at one another).

He'd deal with this in the morning.

TBC...

**