"Even though we will probably never live long enough for us to get married, I love you. You should at least know that…" That was what Itachi had said before she left him earlier today. Somehow, she just couldn't stop thinking about it. Whenever he said such things she would just space out but this is the first time he told her that on a mission. And as this mission was especially important, she shouldn't be floating away on clouds in her mind.

"Sakura? Are you alright?" Harry asked and she nodded, still only half of her left in reality.

"I think the library messed with her mind…" Ron said and ate a chicken wing. It was dinner and the three where sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great hall. Sakura has yet to touch her rice, Harry was too worried about Sakura to eat and Ron continued eating without caring much. "Don't worry Harry, she'll snap out of it soon."

"Harry, Ron, Sakura!" They heard a voice call and Ginny came to them sitting down beside Sakura. "How are you guys? Are you invited to Slughorns party? I'm not invited…"

"How sad…" Sakura said in a cold voice. She didn't like this Ginny girl, she was too… Girly.

"Yeah, all three of us are going actually. Harry invited me and Sakura got her own. Sad that you can't come Ginny." Ron said almost as cold-hearted as Sakura but he actually didn't mean it to sound like that.

"Sad that you can't come Ginny, next time I'll see if I can make Slughorn invite you too." Harry said and grinned.

"Thank you Harry, you're so sweet." Ginny said and stood up again. "But I have to get going now, have homework to do you know."

Sakura swear she could have puked as Ginny walked happily away from them. She almost lost her apatite but forced herself to eat the rice, otherwise she wouldn't be able to train this night in the forbidden forest.

"I want raaaamen…" Sakura said and pushed away her empty bowl of rice.

"Ramen? What's that?" Ron asked.

"Something that I'm never able to eat…" Sakura answered and sighed. She wanted to eat onigiri with seaweed on for lunch and miso soup to breakfast. Then some fish for dinner, she wanted her Akatsuki robe but most of all she wanted to kill someone. Poison, stab, torture… she didn't care how. "Maybe I'll go to the library this evening and read something…"

"No! The books have already taken her! No more reading for you!" Ron burst out and both Sakura and Harry sweat dropped.

"No… I don't really think the books are that dangerous…" Harry said but Ron continued talking about something about books. Sakura laughed at Ron and Harry just couldn't take his eyes off her. She was very beautiful with her pink hair and green eyes, her soft voice and gentle smiled. He really thought that woman like these didn't exist until he met her. He just wanted to see her smile forever.

"Harry? Hey Harry, we're going to go back to the Gryffindor common room now." Sakura said and he nodded.

When they got back to the common room, Hermione was already sitting by a table. When she saw who just came in she quickly got her books and started walking away. Sakura ran up to her and smiled at her.

"Hi Hermione, how are you?" Sakura asked but Hermione only walked past her. "Have you've been studying the whole day? I wouldn't be able to stand it if it."

"That's because you're stupid now get out of my face!" Hermione said and walked out from the common room.

"Sorry guy's… I'm really trying to make her like me. So that all four of us can be together." Sakura said but they only shook their heads.

"It's not only your fault that she's angry, we must have done something too. Otherwise she should at least be talking to us. Don't let it get to you…" Harry said and Ron nodded. Sakura smiled at them happily and they sat sown and started talking. She did get along with them very well, at least the Haruno Sakura she is playing does. Pretending to be someone else takes a big risk; at least she isn't pretending to be someone who actually does exist. If someone found out that she doesn't exist and isn't a wizard then she and Itachi would be in deep trouble.

Later that night when she was training in the forbidden forest she remembered the first day she was here at Hogwarts. That day when she was supposed to be sorted it put her in Gryffindor without her doing anything. Itachi hasn't said anything about it yet but it must have been him, otherwise it should have put her in Slytherin without hesitation.

Even tonight, no living soul came near her. They must still be afraid of the new creature entering the forest. Neither did Itachi show up, he must be training too but on different times in the night. Sakura had to be back in the common room before four and Itachi had to patrol the castle on some nights.

Slughorns party should take place in about one week from now. Before then Sakura has to figure out a way to get into the headmasters office so that she knows how it looks like before actually breaking in. Harry had lessons there and seamed to know the headmaster quite well so maybe she could get there with a little help from him and his stupid friend.

The next morning Sakura woke up by Harry and Ron waking her up, she had slept on the couch in the common room again this night. Like she said before, the beds where too soft for her liking. She had slept on the floor on the most of her missions or not slept at all. Harry and Ron talked to her as lively as usual but she didn't listen, she had sat up thinking about a reason to get into Dumbledore's office all night.

The lessons where as boring as ever and she didn't even listen to the teacher in the Defence against the Dark arts lesson. Even Itachi only talked about this stupid magic stuff on his lessons. The girls were starring at him as usually and Itachi smiling with a huge fake smile. Harry seemed very interested in DADA, he always listened on the lessons and always knew that answers, could the spells and was the only guy that seamed to actually like Itachi.

"Miss Haruno? Miss Haruno!" Sakura woke up from the daydreams by Itachi yelling her name trough the classroom. "If my classes are that boring that you don't even want to listen then I suggest that you come to my office for detention this evening at six sharp."

"But…" Sakura started.

"You'll be there!" Itachi said and she could hear how the girls at the front where giggling. Sakura could even see Hermione look back at Sakura with a superior smile on her face.

Harry, Ron and Sakura where sitting at the Gryffindor table eating dinner. Sakura was as usual eating her rice and drinking water.

"You shouldn't space out like that on a lesson, Sakura. That's not like you…" Harry said. Sakura looked up at him; he was really worried about her. She could see it in his eyes. "Did you sleep well tonight?"

"Actually… I was up really late thinking about some things. It's nothing to worry about really. I'm just a little tiered." Sakura said and tried to look a little more energetic. "At least I didn't lose any house points like you did before."

"It was like one of the first lessons in the new term!" Ron said. "I'm used to sleeping…"

Harry and Sakura laughed at Ron and he smiled. "You shouldn't sleep so much during the holidays you know, Ron." Harry said still smiling.

"Talking about the Holidays Harry. Sakura, what did you do during your holidays?" Ron asked and Sakura starred at them. I killed a couple of people, chased after that irritating nintails… I also got a couple of special missions from Leader-sama and I actually got to drink tea some times.

"I went on a trip with one of my friends…"

"Were did you go?" Ron asked as he continued eating.

"No real name for the place but it was a cherry blossom field; you know my name Sakura means Cherry blossom. My whole name Haruno Sakura means spring field of cherry blossoms. My pink hair and my love for cherry blossoms made him decide to take me there."

"Him?" Harry and Ron said together and looked at Sakura with surprised looks on their faces. "You went on a trip alone with a guy?"

"Yeah, we where there for a couple of days." This was actually true. Itachi had taken her there for a couple of days, that was also where he asked Sakura to marry him. In that Springfield full of light pink cherry blossoms, which was also one of the few days that they didn't, argued. Just enjoyed being together.

"For a couple of days?! You should have taken other friends with you if something had happened." "It's ok; he wouldn't try to do anything I didn't want. He was my best friend." Sakura said then saw how a bunch of girls where crowding around Itachi right outside the great hall. Harry, Ron and Sakura sat really close so they could hear what they where talking about very clearly.

"Professor Uchiha! What is that ring? It's on your left ring finger, are you married?" A girl asked and everyone fell silent starring at Itachi, even Harry, Ron and Sakura. Oh no… He's not going to tell those girls is he? "Why haven't you mentioned it before?"

"Actually…" Itachi started and he could see how Sakura was starring at him with the evil eye. "I am engaged." The girls fell silent and Sakura wanted to bang her head in the table. Every one near that heard the conversation just starred at him.

"What's she like?" One of the girls asked.

Itachi looked down at them, Sakura continuing to stare at him and with her eyes telling him how much she will torture him if he says another word.

"She hits me and often gets mad. She is beautiful but doesn't care how she looks, keeps her hair short for the most of the time. She likes fighting and hates girly things, actually she has a really bad personality and no one really likes her that much."

"Why don't you break up with her then?" Another girl asked and the other nodded.

"Because… When it's only her and me, she had a side that is something very special. Then her smile, her laugh and her eyes are different. I want to see that side of her more often and make her realize that she really is the most important person to me." Itachi said, Sakura starred at him. Did he really mean that? He's probably just fooling around again… "I don't even know if she likes me the same. However, she still goes around with our engagement ring. Even though she said that she wasn't going to wear it."

Sakura could feel her round silver ring that hangs around her neck, it was cold. She tried to ignore Itachi so she continued to talk with Harry and Ron trough dinner until it at last was time for her detention with Itachi.

When she got to his office he sat there by his desk as usual, he smiled at her and she smiled back. "So… Professor Uchiha, are you going to make me write lines or what?"

"What do you think? Or should we talk about how our wedding is going to be?"

"The day I die…. The day that I die in the battle field, that is the day I want you to propose to me again. And that day I will once again agree." Sakura said and sat down on a chair. "I don't want to live as a married woman, nor do I want to have any children. Still I would like to die when fighting for something or someone, maybe even just for the fun of it."

"You know that what I said today by the great hall was true. I don't care if you don't love me, just be by my side."

"You know I will… But I just can't tell if I like you or not. If my feeling for you are real or not, should I really be sitting here right now with you as you fiancée?" Sakura said and her tears started to fall. What was love? "A person like me, a person who never has known what a feeling is still I feel it so strong from inside of me." Itachi tried to hug her but she pushed him off.

"How can I know that you really love me? I can't trust anyone! I have never trusted anyone! My life has always been about me, I was the only one that needed to live in order for me to be able to keep walking the road of life!" Itachi wanted to say something but words wouldn't come. The person who he loved the most was sitting in front of him crying. Still there was nothing we could do.

"Everyone knew that I couldn't trust anyone! As soon as I told someone a secret, as soon as I thought that I could trust that person, that person then tells someone else. That is us humans! We can never hold a promise! I can't trust you when you say that you will always love me because you won't!"

Sakura stood up and ran to the door. Itachi stood up and grabbed her arm. "Don't say that! Try to trust someone, try trusting me! I won't let you down…" He said but she only looked back at him with tear filled eyes.

"I-I can't…" She said and he loosened hid grip around her arm so that she ran out of the office. He knew she couldn't trust people, that was the first thing he ever found out about her. She was unreliable and wouldn't trust a soul. That made him interested and made him want to know more about her. He wanted to know her name, her sent, the feeling to touch her and he wanted to see her smile.

Sakura ran trough the corridor, all the students where up in their dormitories. Sakura could hear her steps echo trough the halls and up the marble staircase. She was still crying, they wouldn't stop coming out from her green eyes.

She wanted to believe him, over anyone else he was the one she should be able to trust the most. She thought she could tell him how much she loved him, how much she wanted to be by his side and how much she still wanted to die by his side. She never let people see her cry.

When she turned around a corner she bumped into someone, she tried to wipe away her tears as she looked up at the person. Itachi?

"Sakura, what are you doing here? I was just going to go get you! Why are you carrying?" Harry asked and she noticed that it wasn't Itachi. Sakura starred at him and once again she couldn't control her tears, her legs failed her and she fell down in a sitting position. Harry bend down in front of her and hugged her, she grabbed his shirt and cried. She didn't care that it was the person she was supposed to kill later that she cried on right now but somehow it didn't feel too bad. Neither Harry nor Sakura said a word as they sat there in the corner of a corridor, not noticing Itachi watching from afar. He looked at them with an expression of both anger and sorrow; still he turned around and walked the other way leaving them alone. So far away that he couldn't hear her cried anymore.

A/N: FCK! I put to much of myself into Sakura. My hate, my feeling of not being able to trust anyone. Also my feelings of what love, friendship or anything like that really is. So if you really don't get it then it's my fault because I know exacly what I'm talking about. Maybe one of you feel the same, have tried to trust so many but in the end they only let you down? For me there is only one person who I can trust and to that person I also dedicate this chapter to... my wonderful Usagi-kun 3

Does it at last start to bacome interesting? Harrys feelings for Sakura are more proved and will Sakura start liking Harry now?! Or will she be able to trust Itachi enough to tell him her feelings. Talking about Itachi, will he be able to liv with the thought that Sakura maybe likes Harry? Seeing her crying in front of him while she sisn't even let him hug her? oh well... you'll get to know everything in the next chapter!

I want to wish all you wonderful people in this world a marry christmas (At least you can have a good time because I hate X-mas...) and the next chapter will be out in 3-4 days as usual. Yeah, about that! Sorry that I was late with this chapter but I have a fever and a cold, still I have been too school the whole week...

please leave a review

// Neko-chan