Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers. Also Twostroke belongs to MariaShadow, I'm just borrowing her and the way Twostroke thinks about the Autobots (i.e. Big Ones and Friend)….. and the inspiration for this chapter belongs to elvenarchress. She's the one who thought of the different genders for the cats, and the chant the Jazz is yelling.

Warning there are some Cybertronian curse words in here…

Feline Escapades of the Autocats – Boys vs. Girls, Bot vs. Cat

Yelling in the Ark was not an uncommon thing. Someone (usually Ratchet) was always yelling about something. But this time was different; Jazz was running down the halls yelling (or maybe singing off key, which was really odd for Jazz) a chant that made quite a few heads turn and even more people to do a double take when they finally figured out what he was saying.

"Prowler's in heat! Prowler's in heat!"

Prime watched as his special ops officer almost danced down the hall, singing at the top of his lungs that Prowl was in heat. Prime was even more shocked when he heard Prowl himself yelling after his fellow officer to stop saying such illogical things and that Jazz would regret it if he didn't cease this illogical display immediately.

Figuring that he wouldn't get a straight answer out of those two for a while, Prime decided that the only way to get to the bottom of this was to retrace Jazz's steps and find out where he had started his chant.

Going down the hallway that Jazz had just come from, Prime couldn't find anything that might have been the inspiration for Jazz's current method of annoying Prowl. Every bot he came across told him that they had seen Jazz coming down the hall dancing and singing loudly with Prowl close behind him, but no one knew what had started it. So on Prime went until he finally came to the med bay. Prime became suspicious when he heard laughter coming from inside. And after many vorns of experience with his crew, he made the guess that whatever had started Jazz on the current Prowl-torture-method was in there.

When the door opened, the first thing Prime saw was a laughing Wheeljack bent over a med berth. On the other side of the same berth stood was an indecisive looking Ratchet while Preceptor stood to the side, looking amused. Sitting on the berth was Prowler; the kitten was looking at the three mechs with an expression that clearly said "If you don't stop this right now, you will regret it." It took everything Prime had not to start laughing He had lost count of the number of times he had seen a very similar expression on Prowl's face, usually when Sideswipe or Jazz had been up to something they all knew that they shouldn't have been. Prime made a noise very similar to that of a human clearing his throat, drawing the attention of the three Autobots and Autocat (Sideswipe had given the kittens the name some time ago after getting tired of calling them 'Fireflight and Bluestreak's kittens').

"So, does anyone want to tell me why Jazz is dancing down the halls, singing in an off key voice that Prowl is in heat?" Asked Prime now that he had the four's attention.

Ratchet released a puff of air from his ventilation system, "Prowl is not in 'heat,' Prime, and Jazz was most likely not talking about Prowl. And as to why Jazz is doing what he is doing, it is most likely just to annoy the slag out of Prowl."

Prime gave Ratchet a shocked expression for he clearly remembered Jazz saying Prowler… oh… that's right, the black and white kitten was also called 'Prowler'. Upon remembering that fact, he looked at said kitten and wondered what 'in heat' meant. According to his sensors, the cat was not any hotter then normal, so why was Jazz running down the hall yelling that 'Prowler was in heat'? Aside from the obvious fact that it seemed to 'annoy the slag out' of the black-and-white tactician, as Ratchet put it.

When he asked Preceptor, he was told, "Oh it's really quite simple Prime. The phrase 'in heat,' when applied to organic creatures, is merely referring to the cycle of fertility that all organic creatures go though to produce offspring."

Seeing Optimus's blank look, Wheeljack clarified, "What Preceptor means to say is that when an organic creature is 'in heat' it is referring to the time period in which organic creatures send out the necessary signals from their processors to activate their systems that are needed for them to create sparklings."

It took a moment to understand what he was being told, but once he understood Prime looked back at the kitten, shocked. One thought was going though his processors, 'There were going to be more kittens?'

But before Prime could ask any more questions Preceptor, as if sensing Prime's thoughts, stated, "But we needn't worry about that for a while, Prime. Prowler and the other kittens are still too young to have kittens of their own."

"So does that means that could be a possibility of them having kittens of their own in the future?" Prime asked, the five kittens they had now caused enough trouble, they didn't need more.

"Precisely," said Preceptor, "but we figured that such a scenario would be unacceptable for I doubt that you want more kittens on base."

"You're correct Preceptor. And I'm assuming that Wheeljack, Ratchet and you have thought of a way to prevent this," said Prime, hoping that he was right.

"Yes, Prime, we do know of a way, but actually going though with it is going to be a little bit more difficult," said Wheeljack, his fins glowing a light yellow to indicate his uncertainty.

"Well?"

Wheeljack and Preceptor turned to look at each other before turning to face Ratchet. When they did, they discovered that he was staring at Prowler with a thoughtful expression. It appeared that he didn't even know what was going on. With a light nudge from Wheeljack, a started Ratchet looked around, acting as if he had only now remembered what was going on around him.

"What?" Asked Ratchet in an annoyed voice. He disliked being interrupted when he was thinking.

"Prime wants to know what we are going to do about the reproduction problem," said Wheeljack completely unfazed by the gruffness of Ratchet's voice.

"Well, the only thing I can think of to do is to take the kittens to a veterinarian and have their reproductive systems deactivated," said Ratchet, rubbing the back of his head.

"Couldn't you or one of the other scientists do it?" Asked Prime, he didn't want to bother the humans unless he really had to.

"Prime, I don't think that…." Preceptor interrupted Ratchet before he could finish his sentence.

"It is possible, Prime, but seeing as none of us here has ever operated on an organic before, it could be very risky."

At the sentence, Prowler decided to add in her two cents, meowing loudly as if voice the opinion that she would not like having giant robots messing with her insides, thank you very much.

"It appears that Prowler agrees, she must realize how bad of an idea that is," stated Ratchet glaring at Preceptor and still not quite sure how he was going to get back at the scientist for interrupting him.

Prime nodded, but then stopped mid nod… wait, she?

"Prowler is a she?" Asked a startled Prime.

"Oh did we forget to say that? Yes, Prowler is a female of the feline species of this planet. We are not sure about the other feline younglings for we have not examined them yet, but we were planning on doing that today, anyway, once Bluestreak and Fireflight return from fetching them," as soon as Preceptor finished speaking, the med bay door opened and in stumbled Fireflight carrying two kittens while Bluestreak walked in behind him carrying the remaining two kittens. Both looked a little hap-hazard, apparently herding kittens was not an easy task.

Once all four kittens were deposited on the berth, Prowler went and checked to make sure that Blue kitty was alright. She had been worried about him after being separated for so long from him. Sandy kitty then checked over Flight kitty to make sure that nothing was wrong, Sandy kitty was never too sure about the Big Ones and if they were being as careful as they should be with Flight kitty. Meanwhile Twostroke was looking at both of the kittens' Friends and the other Big Ones, silently asking why they had been moved into the Loud Angry One's territory.

Completing the scans of each kitten, Ratchet turned and reported his findings. "It appears that Twostroke and Flight kitty are also females, while Sandy kitty and Blue kitty are males."

Bluestreak and Firefight looked at Ratchet, then each other, then at the kittens, and then back at Ratchet.

"So what does that mean?" Asked Fireflight, he was pretty certain it meant something important but was unsure what, exactly.

"It means that if we do nothing, then someday we will have even more kittens on our hands," said Ratchet.

"And if we get them 'fixed,' there will be no more kittens?" Asked Prime, he really didn't want to have to worry about any more little things under his feet.

"Correct," said Wheeljack.

On the berth, all of the kittens were looking up at the Big Ones, wondering what they were talking about but also a little worried…. They all kept looking at the kittens with very serious expressions. The kittens continued to listen in and although they didn't understand half the words that were being said, all of them were feeling uncomfortable. What was a 'vet'?

As soon as the Big Ones appeared to have reached a decision, the Boxes were brought out. Picking up Prowler, they put her in her Box, hoping that she would be the most cooperative, she was. As soon as Prowler was in a Box, Blue kitty wanted to be in there with her. The only problem was that the Boxes were only made for one kitty at a time so Blue kitty had to go in another box. But to keep him happy they set the two kittens close to each other.

Meanwhile, Flight kitty watched in horror as Prowler and then Blue kitty were placed in their Boxes. Flight kitty hated the Boxes, they were too small. She could tell just by looking, they were small and she wouldn't like them. She would hate them.

And whatever Flight kitty hated, Sandy kitty hated just as much, if not more.

The two of them made a run for it, the tan kitty watching the reddish kitten's back. Fireflight tried to grab the two before they got out of the med bay, but he had his optics more on the kittens then on who might be in his way. As he moved forward to grab the kittens, he ran into Bluestreak, knocking him down. As Bluestreak fell back, Ratchet moved to stop him from hitting the ground but wasn't prepared for the sudden weight of two transformers, causing him to fall on his aft.

Seeing two of the kittens leave, Twostroke decided it was also time for her to leave and hopped off the berth, using Wheeljack and Preceptor's bodies as foot holds. When she reached the floor she was off, she really couldn't figure out why the Friends and Big Ones wanted to put her in the Boxes, there was so much exploring to do. She didn't have time to go in the Box. Plus, it didn't look very comfortable. Preceptor and Wheeljack tried to grab her before she got too far, but instead just ran their heads into each other causing them both to fall on their rears as they were both dazed from the head butt.

Prime tried to catch the kittens on the ground but they were very small and he was very big. And he really, really didn't want to hurt them. So they slipped thought his fingers and hid in the med bay. Prime was happy that they stayed in the med bay, however, because that made it easier to catch them.

Primus didn't like Prime today…

The med bay doors opened and in walked a dented and scratched Sideswipe and out went three kittens, as fast as their paws would carry them. Sides watched the kittens run out and then saw Prime come toward him and almost run him over. But, at the last moment Prime stopped himself from running into the red twin, though just barely.

"What is going on….?" Asked Sides. Having Prime almost run you over was a very unusual experience. He wanted to know why it happened.

"The kittens need to go to the vet but to get them there we need to catch them," said Ratchet, trying to untangle himself from the two mechs that were on top of him.

"Why? They're not hurt are they?" Asked Sides, he would never admit it, but he didn't want to see the kittens hurt. They meant too much to Sunny (and to himself).

"What? No, they're not hurt. We just need to catch them," said a stressed Ratchet, finally giving a hard push and getting Bluestreak and Fireflight off of him.

When Sideswipe didn't move, Ratchet turned to him and snarled "Well? Get a move on you pit spawned heathen! Get those kittens!"

Sideswipe decided that it would probably be a good idea to do what the medic said. He was sounding grouchier then usual. Running out of the med bay, Sideswipe hoped that he would be able to find the kittens. They couldn't have gotten that far, right?

Oh, how wrong the red twin was…

In the end, almost all of the Autobots had to be called in to gather the three kittens up and take them to the vet's office. Apparently, none of them wanted to get into the Boxes, but Sandy kitty proved the most difficult to catch. In the end, he was captured when he went to save Fight kitty who had been captured before him.

After that, things were a breeze. The kittens were taken to the vet, 'fixed,' and returned home with only one incident. Apparently Sandy kitty had thrown a fit when they had tried to remove him from the vet's office without Fight kitty in tow. This gave the rest of the Autobots a wonderful opportunity to tease Sandstorm about the time he had nearly taken three medics' heads off when they had tried to remove him from the med bay after Fireflight had been hurt. This was, of course, before he had even admitted to himself that he had feelings for the red jet. But that's another story.

When the kittens got back at the Ark, things went back to the way they had been before, which Prime was thankful for. It was not fun to have to track down little organic creatures and capture them when they didn't want to be captured. But looking back, there was one thing that Prime never did figure out… why was Prowler in the med bay in the first place?

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