Inspired by the MariaShadow's Twostrokes!! Read her fic it is really cute!! And written with help and inspiration from elevnarchress, give thanks to her… cause without her there would be no squeal! Or title….
By the way, this is loosely based on Vaeru's format from "On the Care and Feeding of humans", so give her a round of applause.
Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers. Twostroke is owned by MariaShadow. Flight kitty is owned by elvenarchress, and Sandy kitty is owned by Flight kitty (thought we're not quite sure if she realizes this). The only kittens I own are Blue kitty and Prowler, well as much as you can own a cat.
If I forgot anyone, I'm sorry.
Oh and a big thanks to Lament of Meow for Beta reading this for me!! Believe me if not for her, this thing would be full of mistakes.
Feline Escapades of the Autocats – Getting Around
After about eight months at the Ark, there were many things that had been learned about each of the kittens as they grew into cats and about all the cats in general.
First, Twostroke loved to get into things, and loved to be in the center of whatever was happening, even when she wasn't the center of attention.
Second, it was a bad idea to mess with Flight kitty if you liked your paint job. Messing with her usually ended with Sandy kitty scratching your paint job off, and that cat had a long memory – and very sharp claws.
Third, another bad idea was to interrupt Prowler when she is reading. No matter whether you thought she was just sitting on the data pad because it was there or reading it, don't touch it. She could get very snappish about it, and she was scary when she was snappish.
Four, Blue kitty was not always the most coordinated of cats… alright, at times he was a downright klutz. But you never, ever mentioned that near Bluestreak or the twins. That would lead you to having your face plate punched out or a pair of tearful blue optics turned on you, depending on who heard you.
Five, Blue kitty was very noisy. If not purring, meowing, or making sound some other way, he would get very distressed. Which might explain why he loved to hang out with Bluestreak, Jazz, and Blaster, there was noise to spare with those three.
Six, if you pet one cat, you're going to have to pet them all. Many swore that if you pet one, they would all know, even if they weren't in the same room. And having cats pissed at you is not fun.
Seven, shiny things or dangling things near Fight kitty will be played with, so if they are fragile and you don't want them broken or to suddenly turn up missing, keep them as far away as possible from her. Cause if she wants it, Sandy kitty will get it for her. Or once in awhile Sandstorm would even get it for her, it seemed he couldn't resist her any more then he could Fireflight.
Eight, never forget to feed the Autocats. Yes, they could hunt for themselves. But they still wanted their supper in their dishes and so help you if there was no food in their dishes when they were hungry.
Nine, cleaning the litter box regularly is very important. Leaving it too long would result in kittens not going in the litter box because it didn't smell good. After the first time this happened, the officers made sure that the litter boxes would always be clean – and it seemed to be one of the best punishments any of them had at their disposal.
The list went on and on. Each time something new was learned it was added on to the list. But there was one thing about the kittens that no one could figure out, no matter how many cat books they read.
How were the cats getting around the base? They were either too small or too light to trigger the automated doors, so how did they get into everyone's rooms? Or the medbay? Or anywhere else for that matter.
At first no one really questioned it because there were other problems to worry about. But once the chance presented itself, many did begin to wonder and even start to investigate the matter.
It was easily determined that one of the main ways of getting around was catching rides on mech's shoulders, hands, or even sometimes on their heads. The cats were also known to walk and slip in doors when they were open, but that still didn't explain how they got around and into other places that many tried (and usually failed) to keep them out of.
But the mystery didn't last forever. Eventually Bluestreak and Fireflight figured it out, or more precisely, they just happened to be in the right place at the right time. While walking down the hallway they heard a noise and after a few moments of listening and following the sound, they stumbled across Prowler, Sandy kitty, and Twostroke coming out of an opening in the wall.
"The ventilation systems… that's how they've been getting around," said Bluestreak happily. He couldn't wait to tell everyone!
"Ventilation system? Hmmm…. Well I suppose it would be a great way to get around and there are few places that it doesn't go," replied Fireflight as he watched the kittens turn the corner. The gunner and Aerialbot smiled to each other and then went off to tell the others.
On the way, Bluestreak noticed Fireflight's confused expression.
"What's wrong?" asked Bluestreak.
"If Cybertronians don't breath, why do we need ventilation systems?" asked Fireflight.
Bluestreak stood there for a moment and thought. And in the end he couldn't come up with an answer as to why there was a ventilation system in the ship.
The Autocats, on the other hand, never questioned why there was or was not a ventilation system. All they knew it as was the Pathway. What else were they going to call the openings that allowed them access to almost the entire Ark? Even if they weren't supposed to be there.
Sorry this is so short and than I took so long to write this. Please review.