Part 9 – Eating Cookies

David shut the phone as they pulled into the driveway. He looked over at Nena and smiled. "Home at last."

Nena smiled back at him, because he was nice, but she wasn't stupid, she knew what was going on. Earlier, David and Megan had taken her away from the house so that Daddy and Charlie and the others could do the yelling. She'd forgotten for a few minutes during the movie, the dog had been really funny, then she remembered again.

Nena knew how this went. First was, 'Nena, meet your new Daddy' then everything was happy and balloons and presents. Eventually, though, came the yelling, then the pretend-happy, then more yelling, then finally the leaving. Daddy Charlie had been Nena's favorite, and he'd lasted a long time. She hoped she'd like Daddy's new boywife. Or would it mean no more Daddy Daddy? Back to Michigan? She'd liked California. But she wouldn't cry, nope. She was too big a girl for that.

After the movie, she'd been a little confused when they'd come home, dropped Megan off and left again. But she'd decided that Megan needed to do the yelling, too. Nena was glad that David didn't need to do the yelling and had taken her for a milkshake.

Now, the strawberry milkshake felt like a lump in her stomach as David helped her out of the car. Nena slid her hand into his and they walked up the sidewalk. It seemed quiet inside. They'd gotten past the yelling then. She hoped they'd get to the second yelling soon. The pretend-happy was worse than the yelling or even the time between Daddies when Mommy cried a lot. Would Daddy cry when Charlie was gone?

When they opened the door and walked inside, no one noticed them at first. Nena stared, looking for clues to the moods of the people sitting at the table. Daddy and Uncle Don had a laptop out and were talking about something on the screen. Grandpa Alan was looking at a map. Charlie was writing on some paper and eating a cookie. Smells came from the kitchen that would have been yummy if Nena didn't already have a milkshake lump in her stomach. Uncle Will and Megan weren't in sight. It all looked so … normal.

"Hey, guys," David called. "Do I smell cookies?"

Everyone looked up and smiled. Nena stepped closer to David, holding his hand tight.

Daddy frowned. "Honey, come here."

Nena looked up at David, who nodded encouragement. She reluctantly let go of David's hand and crossed the big gap of space to the table. Daddy took her hands and pulled her up to sit on top of his knees.

Daddy said, "I'm sorry that we were yelling yesterday. We've worked it out, though."

Nena sniffled and looked down at Daddy's hands. 'Worked it out' were pretend-happy words.

"Honey," Daddy said. "We talked about a lot of stuff that we needed to talk about. I know it was scary, but sometimes families have problems. It doesn't mean we aren't a family anymore and won't get over it."

Nena looked over at Charlie. He was watching her, his face worried. At least he and Daddy weren't pretending nothing had happened. She hated that the most. Charlie reached over the table and held out his hand. Nena slowly put her hand in his.

"Hey," Charlie said with a weak smile. "Nothing to worry about, okay?"

Uncle Don came around the side of the table and knelt next to Nena. He took her other hand. "Families make mistakes, but we still love each other."

"That's right," Grandpa Alan said.

Uncle Will came out of the kitchen, holding a plate of cookies. "Hello, little one," he said with a smile.

Megan followed behind him, drying her hands on a towel. "Did you get a milkshake?"

"Um-hmm," Nena said, her eyes sweeping back and forth between faces. Maybe this pretend-happy wouldn't be as bad as usual. She let go of Charlie and Don's hands and reached to the cookie plate on the table. She picked up a cookie, it was still warm. As she ate the cookie, she examined Daddy's face. He smiled at her and pushed her hair behind her ears.

"Do you want some milk?" Daddy asked.

"Um-hmm," Nena responded. The cookies were really good. Will must have made them.

Daddy continued, "Sweetie, we're doing the paperwork so you can sign up for school. Would you like that?"

Nena perked up. "School?" That would mean she really was a big girl. It also meant … that she was staying in California, staying with Daddy! She'd miss Charlie and Grandpa Alan and her uncles, but at least she would still have Daddy. Nena gave him a big smile. "When?"

"If we can get you signed tomorrow, you'll start next week."

"Can I go with Charlie's class?"

"Charlie's class is for grown-ups, honey," Colby said with a smile.

"Though it doesn't feel like it around test time," Charlie said wryly.

Nena examined Charlie. The way he looked at her and at Daddy hadn't changed. He didn't have tight eyes or a pinched mouth. Maybe he didn't know about pretend-happy time? No one was behaving quite right.

Don was still kneeling by her side and he seemed to be examining her as closely as she was Charlie.

"Nena?" Don said. "Do think your daddy and Charlie are going break up now?"

Nena flinched. "Shh," she hissed. "You not s'posed to talk about that yet."

"What?" Daddy said, blinking at her.

She leaned over and tried to explain to Don before he made the yelling come again. "Iz pretend-happy time. We not 'sposed to talk about thuh yellin'. Iz second yelling that you talk about that."

Don looked blankly at her, then turned to Megan. "Um, what does she mean?"

Megan frowned, but it was a thinking frown. "She expects this relationship to follow the patterns of all her mother's relationships. It sounds like the pattern was a fight, then a make-up period, then another fight, then a breakup."

Nena looked anxiously at Megan. She was talking about the yelling. No one talked about the yelling.

Charlie got up and came around the side of the table. Don stood up and Charlie knelt next to her instead.

"I'm not going anywhere," Charlie said firmly. "Neither is Colby or you. Nobody is mad at you."

Nena looked at Charlie fearfully. He looked serious. He really didn't know what was coming. He'll be sad, too.

Suddenly, it was too much for Nena. She'd tried to be a big girl, big enough to go to school, but … She buried her face in Daddy's shoulder and broke into tears. Daddy wrapped his arms around her and rocked her, saying 'shhh' and calling her his baby and his Nena-bear.

He lifted her up and carried her somewhere. She pressed her face into his shirt and cried until she ran out of tears and got hiccups. She finally peaked out from Daddy's shirt to see that she and Daddy were sitting on the couch, Charlie next to them. Charlie offered her a tissue and she wiped her face. She looked around. Will sat in the chair across from her, Don's hands on his shoulders. Will looked kind of scrunched up and unhappy. David was sitting at the table, eating a cookie and looking at the computer. Megan was talking quietly to Alan.

Charlie jumped up then came back with a glass of milk and offered it to her. She drank a few gulps and made the hiccups go away.

"Do you want another cookie?" Charlie asked hopefully. "Will made cookies, chocolate chips with nuts or with orange flavor."

Nena nodded.

"Which one?"

"'rnge," Nena mumbled.

Charlie brought her a cookie on a napkin.

"Do you see now why I say no yelling?" Daddy said to Charlie and the others. "Jenny is all about the yelling."

"Yeah," Charlie said quietly.

Will came over and knelt in front of Nena. "I can't tell you how sorry I am to have triggered this whole mess," he said seriously.

Nena looked at him. "Fing'rs should never go near trigg'r 'cause that's thuh safetee."

"That's right," Will said, glancing up at Daddy then back again.

"Mm-hm," Nena said. "You make good cookies."

Will looked like he wanted to say something else then just gave her a small smile. "I'm glad you like them." He got back up and went back to his chair. Standing behind his chair, Don put his arms around Will's neck. Will leaned his cheek against Don's arm.

Nena ate her cookie for a moment and sipped at her milk.

"Here's a weird suggestion," Megan said. "Don, can you and Will sleep here tonight?"

Will looked at Don and they both nodded.

"Sure," Don said.

"And can Nena sleep with you two?" she asked Daddy and Charlie.

Daddy nodded and Nena smiled. She loved sleeping with her Daddies. Even if Charlie did snore really loud.

"Good," Megan said. "I think Nena has some serious abandonment issues arising from a revolving door of surrogate fathers with her mother."

Nena ignored Megan saying Megan things and crawled off her Daddy's lap to get another cookie. Eating the cookie, she went up to her bedroom, got her pillow and Rocko and put them on the bed in the guest bedroom. She pulled the corner of the blanket down and tucked Rocko under the covers. She turned around to see Daddy watching her.

"Unka Don and Unka Wiw sleep here?" Nena asked.

"I don't think both of them will fit in that bed," Daddy smiled. "If it's okay, Don's gonna sleep in your bed since you'll be with us."

Nena thought about it then decided that it was okay for Don to sleep in her bed. "He bett'r not wet in bed!"

Daddy laughed. "I'll tell him that." He reached out for Nena's hand. "Now, it's almost bedtime and David and Megan need to go to their beds." Nena ran her pillow back to her bedroom and tucked Marymary, her teddy bear, into the bed for Don.

Nena went back to Daddy and took his hand. They went downstairs. Megan was still saying Megan stuff so Nena got a nut cookie.

"Don," Daddy warned. "Nena wants you to know that you better not wet her bed."

Everyone laughed and then started talking some more. Daddy and Alan went back to the school paperwork on the table. Charlie sat down on the couch and forgetfully drank the rest of Nena's milk. Nena didn't mind. She sat next to Charlie and snuggled up to him.

"I hope you don't go anywhere," she whispered to Charlie.

"Me, too," Charlie whispered back.

Nena felt exhausted from the crying and the stressful evening. She curled up against Charlie, feeling his solid warmth. He put his arm around her and gave her a little squeeze. He certainly didn't feel like he was going anywhere. Maybe this pretend-happy could just be a happy-happy. She yawned and couldn't even manage to finish her cookie before she dropped off to sleep.