( Finis stares at Victor)
FINIS: Uh, he's quite skinny.
WILLIAM: He takes those Atkin diets pretty seriously. ( wispers) I think Nell needs to start soon.
NELL: I heard that!
MAUDELINE: ( whipers to Nell) You arn't alone. Finis needs to get started and get stilts. But nooooooooo!
Johnny Depp: Burton, I think I've sold my soul. How do I get it back?
Burton: You don't. You might as well go all the way with it. Go make a sequel to Pirates. Go make The Libertine.
Johnny Depp: Yes... yes...
Burton: Nothing can stop you. You are a warrior. You are a God. You are MY creation! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(In walks Sam Jackson, wielding lightsaber)
Sam: Not so fast, Tim Burton.
Burton: Bollocks!
(Sam slices Tim Burton open, all of the unoriginal ideas pour out of him, melting the floor. Sam points his sword at JD)
Johnny Depp: Come on, man! Have mercy!
Sam Jackson: I want these beep snakes off the beep plane.
(Sam cuts his head off and pisses on it)
(When Victor turns around to look at his parents/future in laws when he tries to light the candle)
Victors mother- My poor, poor son! He's making himself seem like an idiot!
Victoria's parents- You... Butthead.
Maggot- Your new boyfriend is... Kinda jumpy. Kinda like the kids that you stole lunch money from.
(when Victor puts the ring on the corpse's finger, Emily doesn't emerge...)
LADY VAN TASSEL: Thank God! I've been stuck in there for years! My boyfriend should be out shortly.
(At that moment, the Headless Horseman gallops out towards the village.)
VICTOR: Oh, bullocks! Not again!
(He runs behind a tree. He reappears on a horse in Ichabod Crane attire and gallops after the Headless Horseman.)
(at the wedding rehearsal...)
PASTOR GALSWELLS: Constable Crane! This is a song that we have heard from you more than once!
VICTOR: Who? What?
PASTOR GALSWELLS: Sorry. Just a previous life experience resurfacing again. Now, the Ring of Power has been found?
VICTOR: Um...you could say that. (he produces the wedding ring from his pocket.)
PASTOR GALSWELLS: Finally!
(He grabs the ring and runs out of the mansion, only to be blasted into the wall by Gandalf.)
(trying to hide from Emily, Victor hides behind a tombstone in a graveyard. He hears singing in the distance...)
VOICE: Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones / An emptiness began to grow...
(He looks over and sees Jack Skellington on top of the hill in front of the moon. Just then Emily appears.)
EMILY: Don't mind him. He does this every year.
EMILY: Victor, we need to talk.
VICTOR: ( Crying) NONONONONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT WANNA LEAVE YOU!!!! I'VE ACCEPTED WHO U ARE AND LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!
( Emily stares at him confused.)
EMILY: I was just going to say ( wispers) XYZ!
( Victor is embarresed in front of all the corpses)
Victor: Oh. ( examines his zipper.)
EMILY: But, since U mentioned that...
( Jack walks in)
VICTOR: Who's this?
EMILY: Jack Skellington. We're all getting married. Pack your bags, we're moving to Utah! And bring Victoria!
( They all head out to Utah.)
Sally: Wait for me! ( Her leg breaks.) Damn! Not again!!!