GALLSWELLS: Did you remember to bring the ring?
VICTOR: Yes. ( pulls out ring and Gallswells snatches it)
GALLSWELLS: My precious...
VICTORIA: The LOTR trilogy is done!
GALLSWELLS: Aww...
( After Emily and Victor are married and is in their new home)
EMILY: Finally married!
VICTOR: ( sighs) I know.
EMILY: Now that we got the house to ourselves... now we can do whatever we want... are you thinking what I'm thinking?
VICTOR: Oh yeah! ( Emily leans to make out. Doorbell) PIZZA!
( Answers door)
PIZZAMAN: Here's your pizza
VICTOR: ( Whimpering) I, I, I, I, I love you!
EMILY: WHAT!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!
( Attacks pizza man with ty quan do tecniques. Victor watches, eating pizza.)
EMILY: ...AND NEVER MESS WITH MY VICTOR AGAIN!!!!! ( Slams door) Well, now I'll consule myself now.
( Grabs for pizza and finds nothing.)
VICTOR: Uh, I can explain.
At the beginning singing According To Plan)
NELL: It's a beautiful day
WILLIAM: It's a rather nice day
NELL: A day for a glorious wedding
WILLIAM: A rehersal my dear, to be perfectly clear... for the millionth time!! Are you in any way related to Dory the fish?
NELL: Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming. What do you do we swim, swim swim!!!
( Victor, BJ and Bone Boyz are playing American Reject's " Dirty Little Secret"
VICTOR: I'll tell you my dirty little secret...
CORPSE: I don't wanna know...
Victor: This movie blows, and I can't believe I'm being voiced by the incomparibly shallow Johnny Depp. Too bad for me. Too bad for Emily Watson- she's actually good. It's a shame she made it into this piece of sht.
Maudeline Everglot:I left Ab-Fab for this movie!
EMILY: Victor darling, where are you?
( Victor closes eyes)
VICTOR: She'll never find me!
Victor (seeing the black widow): Dah! A spider! Hold still little spider: I need to squish you.
Black widow (looks up at him): How rude!
Victor: Yeah, I know it sounds mean, but it's part of my job.
Victor (sees spider & jumps on a nearby bench): A spider! Kill it! Restrain it! Meditate it! Something!
Spider: And I thought Ichabod Crane was bad . . .