Melee Academy of Higher Learning for Boys

Year Three
-Six-

It was only December and the teachers at Melee Academy were already barking about midterms. He couldn't wait for them to be over and yet they hadn't even started. Roy sighed as he slammed the door of his locker closed.
"Mayou na SEKKUSHI na no? KYUUTO na no?"
"Link," Roy said as the blond danced all around him, clearly oblivious of anything else, "it's too early for this."
Link opened the locker door, still dancing and still oblivious of Roy even talking to anyone.
"-mashita... Hontou ni mou shinai? Odekake itashimashou!"
"Link!" Roy tugged on the wire of Link's earphone and pulled it out.
"Wha'? Whaddya want, Roy?" Link stopped dancing and looked just a little peeved.

Roy blinked a few times in rapid succession before saying, "It's too early for you to be prancing around the halls singing J-Pop."
Link laughed and then slammed the locker shut without bothering to retrieve any of his stuff, making sure to shackle it closed.
"It's never too early - or too late - to sing J-Pop, Roy! Why, you and Marth were singing a duet last night..."
Roy flushed as they began walking to their usual destination. "It was a Sunday and we got a little too carried away with the whiskey shots."
Link looked thoughtful. "I thought Marth managed to smuggle in some Altean wine up into your room and you were playing a drinking game as to how many times Heero tries to blow himself up. AND," he took a deep breath, "you and him somehow got really sloshed and you guys were really loud when you started singing drunken karaoke... And then there were some suspicious noises..."

Roy almost knocked into the door by the second floor. "Marth just got a little too into singing Ore no shita de agake."
For some odd reason, Link didn't believe Roy, but decided to let it go. There was no reason to really pry. Yet. And now that he gave it some thought, Marth's noises - whatever they were - did kind of sound like 'Ore no shita de agake'. With most of the Japanese slurred all together and half of the words changed, but still...you could hear the resemblance.

Some freshman bumped into Link, and Link nearly had a heart attack.
"HOLY FARORE, WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME?"
Young Link looked up and glared at his older self. "Because I am you, unfortunately."
"...Oh. Hey there, Young Link. You look so... Grown up."
Young Link shrugged. "Not more grown up than usual."
"You sure?"
Young Link glared and went on his merry way up the stairs. "Yeah, I'm sure."

Link sniffled as his Nintenpod switched the song to 'Ganon Slayer'. "They grow up so fast!" He wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his blazer. Roy patted Link on the back as they continued their walk to room 221.
"They really do. When I visited my father in the summer, he couldn't get over how grown up I looked." Roy shrugged. "I guess since we haven't really seen Young Link much lately, we really see it."

Link sighed as they came closer and closer to their destination. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"But this is an A plus-worthy paper, Lowell-sensei! Did you even read it?" Roy heard as they approached the shut door marked with the numbers 2-2-1 on it, and like all the other doors in the building, it was written in peeling yellow paint. Roy snuck a glance through the window of the door and saw Ike standing in front of the teacher's desk, a paper in his hands, his hands gesturing to random paragraphs and gesticulating wildly when he wasn't gesturing to the paper. Marth, meanwhile, just stood there calmly, his hands gripping the back of his chair for what appeared to be balance, though it could have also been so he wouldn't slap Ike and tell him to shut up. Marth considered himself to be a dignified royal and, as such, he would resist the urge to simply throttle the blue haired teen and tell him to go to remedial English.

"Yes, I had the misfortune of reading your 'paper' - and I use that term loosely - and it was most certainly not an A plus paper. It wasn't even a D minus paper. If you paid any attention to the circled words and the red ink in the margins, you would know that I basically rewrote your entire paper. I don't know where you got your research on the Meiji era from, but it was definitely far from reliable."
"And yet the kid who used Rurouni Kenshin as a source got an A plus how?" Ike challenged through grit teeth as he slammed his essay down on the desk.
Link tapped Roy on the shoulder. "Someone used Rurouni Kenshin as a source?"
Roy flushed a bit. "Yeah, that was me."

"They just happened to have used a historically accurate portion of it, but yes," Marth replied, his demeanor still calm. He couldn't see why Ike was making a big deal about it.
"And yet I use actual sources and get a D minus?"
Marth adjusted his glasses and pulled his chair out from under the desk. "That was me being generous, too."
Ike stared, dumbfounded. Generous? Marth was giving him a passing grade because he felt sorry for him?
"You can take this paper, sensei, and shove it." Ike threw the paper at the desk - which, of course, missed, since paper isn't all that dense - and slid the door open with such force that it got stuck in the track.

"Ikey...?" Link hadn't ever seen Ike this mad before. Except for that one time where his lasagna TV dinner blew up in the microwave and splattered everywhere. But that was because burning hot Italian food was rather painful when applied to skin.
"Don't talk to me now, Link, Ikey's frustrated." And with that Ike walked away, the door still stuck in the track.

"Mr. Mekkai," Marth said after he retrieved his irate student's paper from the floor.

"Hai, sensei?" came the Hero of Time's reply as he examined the rest of the carnage from the argument. There were papers all over the rest of the room, various things on Marth's desk knocked over, and various pornographic pictures stapled to the chalkboard somehow. Marth was still trying to figure out how Ike managed the last one, but decided he would rather leave it as one of life's mysteries.

"Please remind your boyfriend that if he threatens assault against me again, he will be expelled from the school."

Link nodded. "Boku wa Ike wo iimasu."

Marth nodded, satisfied with Link's response.

-x-

"So. The talent show's coming up soon," Link remarked as they ran up the stairs to the fourth floor for first period. "You thinkin' of trying out for it?"
"And do what, may I ask? I have no real talent for anything."
"What about that sword dance thing I saw you doing once with Marth? That was pretty cool looking."
Roy scoffed as they neared the top of the stairs. "Anyone can do something like that."
"Yeah, but not with the grace you have."
Roy hesitated before speaking again. "This isn't one of those Do-It-All sponsored events, is it?"
"Not that I've heard," Link said, and stopped on the landing. "The scavenger hunt thing however, is."

Roy gave Link a look. "Scavenger hunt?"
Link nodded. "I'll tell you more about it later - Olimar'll kill me if I'm late again, and then I'll get a cut and Ike'll be so disappoint--"
The late bell rang throughout the building, echoing off the walls of the mostly empty corridors.
"--ed. Mereyon't!"
Roy sighed. "Bowser doesn't even care - he said it'd be the right thing to do if he gave out tardies, so I could never show up for class, hack into the computer system, and fix my absents and everything would be fine."

The conversation paused for a brief moment; Link looked hopeful at Roy.
Then, "Can you fix my--"
"No," Roy answered automatically. "I don't know how to hack into a computer, for one thing, and for another, that's something you have to deal with yourself."
"But--"
"Shouldn't you be going to your Integrated Maths class?" Roy saw how deserted the hallways were and how loud they were being, and changed to a whisper. "Olimar skinning you alive and all that."

Link looked at the watch he never realised he always wore. It was green and waterproof and it played 'Epona's Song' when it was noon, six pm, midnight, and six in the morning, but somehow Link always managed to either tune it out or was playing his music too loud to hear it.
"Yeah, I think I should. I'll see you later, Roy!"
Roy sighed once more and shook his head before entering his first period - Chemistry lab.
"You're late, Pherae," a gruff voice said once he saw the red head step foot into the classroom. Roy dumped his books on the nearest lab table, where his partner Stephen sat.
"I know, Mr. Koopa. I was getting help from one of my teachers." Roy knew Bowser would want to see a pass and so Roy hastily wrote one out underneath the desk and signed a name on it as neat and elegant as he could.

Bowser raised a shaggy eyebrow and roared. He hated it when those stupid teachers on all the other floors conveniently 'lost track of time' and kept students for help longer than they should. But Bowser took a rather large intake of air and exhaled out through his nose - out through his mouth would have set six of his students on fire, and then he would have a lot of explaining to do, and Bowser couldn't afford to lose yet another job due to negligence - to calm himself.

"Let me see the pass this time, Pherae." Bowser held out his hand expectantly, waiting for the lord to hand him the note.

So Roy stood up and walked all the way over to the other side of the science lab where Bowser stood impatiently. Bowser swiped the note from Roy and took one quick glance at it.

"You suck at Japanese or something?" he asked, eying the pass.

"Um...not really?" Roy answered, confused at first.

"Then why do you go to help period for Japanese every single day?"

Roy took the note back and shoved it in his pocket. "Because I...can go there?"

Stephen flailed in his seat. "Can we just get on with the lesson here?"

Bowser grunted and Roy shuffled back to his seat just in time for Bowser to pick up where he left off.

"Anyway, what I was saying was that you turn the gas on like this--" Bowser demonstrated by turning the gas valve; nothing happened, "—and then you light a match and hold it into the invisible air." Once more, he demonstrated by holding the match in the stream of gas and the class watched in amazement as a gigantic red flame burst forth. "You have everything in front of you, all of the instructions... You begin now."

Meanwhile, down the hall from Chemistry 31 in room 404 was Integrated Maths 31 with Oliver Olimar in room 421. Currently, he was writing things on the board in yellow chalk that snapped every third or so number. Olimar, however, couldn't be arsed to get another, better piece of chalk and instead continued on like nothing was happening. The result was jagged and nearly incomprehensible algebra equations.

"So the problem is quite easy to solve," he explained as he pointed to the board. "2x equals 4. Now, who can tell me what one does to solve the problem?"

Link raised his hand as everyone else stared at the problem blankly.

"Yes, Link?"

"You divide the 2x and the four by two."

Olimar looked at the problem closely and rubbed his chin, exaggerating his show of thought.

"Why yes, that is correct!" He tried to make it sound like he was talking to a seventeen year old, but instead he sounded slightly patronising, like he was rewarding a three year old for being a good boy in the grocery store.

"Mister, how did you get two as an answer?" a boy named Viviano asked as he pointed to the board with the blankest of all looks gracing his features.

You've gotta be kidding me, Link thought. I think I need a 'bang head here' sign.

Link might have been bad at maths, but even he knew that four divided by two equaled two. He didn't even need to use a calculator for it, unlike Viviano, who honestly thought one plus one equaled eleven.

-x-

"Chorus class at last!" Link said in a sing-song manner as the door slammed open and closed with his arrival. He sighed in a satisfied manner and his demeanor brightened dramatically. "Couldn't wait to get out of stupid Geometry class. I swear maths was created by Ganondorf – no one else could create something that...evil."

Roy meandered in afterwards with a mix of anger and "what the crap" on his face.

"What's wrong, Roy?" Zelda asked as she organised the music on the piano. She could feel that something was not right with the general, and though she wasn't like Link, who pried into someone else's business, she was deeply concerned for her friend – and student.

Roy brushed past Link and went straight to the piano. "Did you see the note they were sending around the school?"

Zelda shook her head, her hands now clasped in front of her. "I don't have a first period so they tell me nothing. Tabuu still doesn't know what email is."

Roy reached into his hoodie pocket and pulled out the folded memo. He then promptly crossed his arms and looked at the piece of paper as if it had threatened to kill his father, pour gasoline on the corpse, and have a bonfire in front of Castle Pherae with it.

The memo said:

Effective immediately – any student who is caught in a relationship with any faculty or staff member beyond that of teacher and pupil will be suspended and the offending employee of the Academy hereby fired. This comes from the rumours that at least two of our fellow students are involved with fellow faculty members, and though we are unsure of the truth status to this gossip, as a precaution, this rule has been passed. All reports are to be submitted directly to my secretary.

Signed,

Tabuu

Zelda neatly refolded the memo and handed it back to Roy, who just let it fall onto the floor.

"What exactly does that mean, Zel?" Roy asked, absentmindedly backing up into a chair and plopped down on it. "Does this mean that Marth and I, despite the fact that he and I were in a relationship before he became a teacher here, can't be together anymore?"

Zelda shrugged. "I'm not sure, though the memo made it perfectly clear... It might be to prevent future relationships, not break up already established ones? That would be something to ask Tabuu himself, not me."

Roy thought it had to be a conspiracy, there had to be someone who didn't want him and Marth together. Roy started a list of names and came up with only one.

Terry Bocheski. The boy who changed his last name so that, when people looked at it, they wouldn't accidentally say, "Boucheveskesky," or even "Chef Boyardi". The boy who was hellbent on stealing Marth away from him.

There was no one else.

-x-

The door to room 221 was still jammed in the track, and Marth had given up trying to fix it – or at least trying to find someone to fix it. The janitor he called an hour ago was not too helpful at fixing anything, and he recommended the computer tech to try a go at it, and Marth simply stared at him thinking, What the hell is a computer technician going to do about something that has nothing to do with computers? Isn't this the job of a janitor? Or a maintenance guy?

Even the maintenance guy pretty much said, "I have no idea what the hell I'm doing."

Marth sighed and flipped through his lesson plan. No one in this school has any idea of how to fix something when it blows up on you. No one is qualified to be in their positions – even the teachers. I'm not even qualified to be a Japanese teacher, and yet here I am. There is something fishy about this place...

According to his lesson plan, which he had now just decided to focus on, as his next class was beginning to trickle in very slowly, he was to have them begin a children's book translation and start a new kanji packet; he was going to probably move the book translation to February instead and have it count for the new semester. The kanji packet, however, was certainly doable.

Roy walked into the classroom and put his things down on his desk.

"Did you...read the memo?" Marth asked quietly, his voice barely carrying from his place behind his teacher's desk.

"Unfortunately."

"...So? What are we going to do?"

Roy shrugged, his back still to Marth as he fished through his book bag for his class stuff. "Dunno. There aren't many options to pursue, are there." It was more like a statement of the obvious, not a question.

Marth shook his head and moved closer to Roy. "I must admit that you are right – there are little to no options in this situation."

There was an awkward silence for a bit as Marth closed the large gap between him and Roy, and instead leaned against his desk as Roy sat down in his seat. Marth's desk was one of those portable types, which made it a pain when it came to making it not move somewhere.

"Roy..." Marth placed two fingers under Roy's chin and forced him to look up; he saw the anger and sadness in the general's eyes. "I can always find another job. I can learn a skill of some sort and go work elsewhere."

Roy laughed bitterly as he rested his hand on top of Marth's, which was still on his face. "But the thing is, Marth, I don't want you to go work elsewhere. I want you to stay here, even though you don't have to work. Even though you're a prince – no, a king. Even though you have money and power. Even though this teaching thing is beneath you."

Marth shrugged as he let his hand drop to his lap. "I don't mind educating the future of this country. To be honest, it looks like they really need it." He smiled ruefully. "But I have some time to decide what I wish to do. I do not like to make hasteful decisions."

Roy drummed his fingers on the desk. "Marth, 'hasteful' isn't a word."

Marth sighed and pulled at his fringe. "You know what I mean."

Roy grinned and leaned away from the desk. "You just don't want to ever be at a loss for words, do you."

If one knew Marth even a tiny bit, they would know that Marth hated it when he couldn't think of something to say. In fact, he hated not saying anything period. Marth wheeled himself and the desk back to their original positions and went back to his lesson planner.

Nicholas came in the room, followed by an ashen blonde student wearing the unofficial girls' uniform, which was essentially a red plaid skirt, a white dress shirt with a grade-appropriate tie, black knee socks, and the school blazer. Not too far behind was Kweenetra holding hands with Robert, and Gary Stu Wesker glared at Nicholas as he walked over to his seat. Nicholas sat down in his seat, next to the girl with the pink DS, and Gary muttered death threats to the back of Nicholas's head.

Marth wasn't aware of there being any new students in his class.

"Nicholas? Who's the girl sitting next to you?"

Nicholas looked to Kweenetra, and Kweenetra gestured to herself; Marth shook his head and pointed to the ash-blonde, and she stared at him like he was sprouting corn from his ears.

"Sensei, it's the same person who's been sitting here for the past, oh, three years now." Clearly she thought it was obvious as to who she was. Always was, deep down inside.

Marth, confused, looked at his seating chart just as Link entered the room and plopped down onto his chair.

"...Stephen?"

"--Ie," she added. "Stephenie. My mom threatened to rip Tabuu limb from limb, so I got to be a girl again."

Why couldn't I work at a normal school? Marth understood now why Mewtwo really disliked his job as he penciled in the correction to Stephenie's name. A normal school where students stay one gender all four years, people don't threaten suicide five times a day, and where your boss is just an asshole and not an overly nice weirdo.

"Anyway," Marth said after he cleared his throat, "let's begin class. Kiritsu."

Link was mid-whisper to Roy when Marth began the class. Nearly falling out the open door, Link managed to straighten himself up and regain balance.

"Konnichiwa onegaishimasu," said Marth, standing at last.

"Konnichiwa onegaishimasu," the class echoed, sounding like they didn't want to be there, which was probably true. Someone purposefully Anglaisized the greeting, but Marth couldn't place who it was.

"Rei." Marth bowed so gracefully, Link wondered how Marth didn't manage to fall over or knock his head into something. The rest of the class followed, then took their seats.

"Minna-san wa koko ni imasu ka," Marth asked, wanting to know if everyone was here. Stephenie raised her hand.

"Hai, Stephen...ie...ku--chan."

"Dean-kun wa keseki desu."

Marth checked off who was present in the class - almost marking Stephenie absent (This will take some getting used to, Marth thought) - and sure enough, Dean was absent.

"Dean-san wa doko da?" Marth had a suspicion someone knew where Dean was, and he was going to find out.

"Minna wakaranai," Stephenie responded. Clearly, she must have been the spokeswoman of the class.

Marth sighed, frustrated. "Robert-san, anata no otouto wa?"

Robert shrugged. He didn't care where his younger brother was. "Sick deh-soo."

Marth marked Dean absent at last. "Could your accent be any more...foreign?"

Not like Marth was one to talk really, but at least he didn't mispronounce things wrong on purpose.

"You have an accent when you speak English, and I never said anything like, 'You're doing it wrong!'"

Even though Marth knew Robert was right, he still shot a half-arsed glare. Marth sucked when it came to trying to be extremely angry looking. Normally, Marth's 'stoic glare' would be the tip-off that someone was doing something wrong.

Realising that his glare probably wasn't effective enough, he said, "A Japanese accent isn't that hard to learn, and I think you're doing it on purpose anyway."

Robert scoffed and Kweenetra muttered, "Get out while you still can," just as Marth's back turned.

-x-

"--And there was this really hot guy. I forget what his name was... I think it was Shitaroo or something."

Link's conversation about Live Pastel Collection 2005 was mostly going in through one of Roy's ears and out the other with no processing required.

"You mean Shoutarou." Well, maybe Roy was listening. Secretly.

"Yeah, that guy. And Hikaru Midorikawa was... Wow. I think if I were straight, I'd go gay just for him."

Roy was stopped in his tracks, which wasn't good considering Ganondorf liked to mark students point five seconds late 'tardy'.

"...You mean to tell me that you've never seen the guy you constantly compare Marth to before this?"

Link nodded sheepishly. "...Yes."

"You fail at life, Link." He resumed walking, Link a few paces behind. "And don't you have to go to the fourth floor?"

Link cursed as he looked his watch. "Shit, yeah, I do. I'll see you later!" He ran as fast as his long legs could carry him.

Link spent too much time with Roy - the blond rarely muttered anything worse than a dammit.

Roy sighed and continued on his merry way a floor up to have History with Link's arch-nemesis.

-x-

"So, who can tell me more about Artemis's Curse? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller, how about you?"

Nick Bueller shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno what that is, Mr. Dragmire." Neither did the rest of the class, for they simply stared at Ganondorf blankly. A few of them flipped through their textbooks to see if the answer was there. Roy, though his boyfriend was from the continent of Akaneia, didn't even know the answer.

"Well, judging from the blank stares I'm getting, you people have no clue what I'm talking about." Ganondorf moved to the board, picked up a piece of chalk, and wrote 'Artemis's Curse' in big letters.

"Basically, the Princess of Akaneia, Artemis, was in love with Anri, who was fighting the war against the Dark Dragon Medeus - who has nothing on my awesome power. He also loved her back, and they were to be wed eventually. But when Princess Artemis gave Anri the Fire Emblem, she pledged the end of the war on it - but she also wagered her love for him on it. What that means is that, if the war ended, so would her love for him. It was a big price to pay, but she paid it. Now anyone who gives the Fire Emblem to someone is doomed to losing their love forever."

Nick raised his hand. "What happened to Artemis, then?"

"She eventually went off and married another man, leaving Anri behind, brokenhearted. Because of this, Anri never married or fathered any children."

"It sounds like Romeo and Juliet," one of the students remarked. "'Cept no one died."

Roy didn't realise he was the only one taking any notes. Why would someone bother showing up if they're not gonna bother doing anything?

Someone raised their hand then.

"What?" Ganondorf said upon seeing the hand shoot up.

"But it says in the textbook that all the kings of Altea have been descendants of Anri."

"Your point is?" Ganondorf was not a very patient man. He crossed his arms and drummed his fingers on his upper arm.

"Well... If he didn't have kids, how could they be directly related? He'd be their uncle! And uncles aren't directly related."

Ganondorf stared. "Sure they are, if they're related by blood."

Billy Boyd, the kid who asked the question, was confused. "What...?"

"Tell you what," Ganondorf said in a business-like tone. "Why don't you go to room two twenty one after school today and ask the teacher there how it's possible. Now if there are no more stupid questions, you can all jump out the window for all I care. Just don't get your blood on the walls, it's a bitch to clean out."

No one said a word after that.

-x-

Roy closed the classroom door behind him - the stupid thing had finally been fixed by someone competent - and threw his bag onto the ground beside him. There, behind the desk, was Marth finishing up some last minute lesson plan or something due for the Power That Was - Roy couldn't exactly tell. Roy walked over to Marth's desk and leaned over the top, blocking his view of whatever he was working on.

"When are you gonna be done here?"

Marth looked over the top of his spectacles. "Give me a few minutes." He opened a desk drawer to throw something into it.

Roy gave Marth a kiss on the mouth and nearly yanked himself onto the desk. Marth backed away from the red head's display of affection and rolled himself over to the closet to get his things.

"...Did I do something wrong?" Roy asked, troubled by Marth's sudden coldness towards the kiss.

Marth had his jacket half on when he heard Roy's question. "No, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Then what's bothering you?"

"The fact that, if we want to be together, I have to leave here. Or, if you'd rather I wait a year..."

"Marth." Roy's tone was serious now as he toyed with Marth's tie. "I was miserable the whole last week of sophomore year because you...broke up with me. I don't think it's worth it."

Marth stood up from his desk and pushed his chair in underneath it, his coat fully on now, finger on the light switch.

"Then I'll leave here and Mewtwo can have his stupid job back, you and I don't have to look over our shoulder every time we so much as glance in one another's general direction... And we can be a normal couple."

"But what about that speech you made before about educating the future of Nintendo Land?" Roy inquired, moving away from the desk to retrieve his things.

"You should know by now that you're more important to me than they are. Now let's get out of here before someone asks me to stay for help."

Marth flicked off the light, Roy slung the strap of his back onto his shoulder, and they left the room. Roy nudged Marth's hand as they walked down the hall and up the stairs to the third floor, and Marth slowly laced his fingers with Roy's. By the time they left the school, they were hand-in-hand, like any ordinary couple would be, and Marth realised one thing.

He didn't care who knew about his relationship or whether they approved of it. He loved Roy and he wasn't about to hide it. He hid his feelings for him long enough - it was time for them to really blossom now.