Victoria: Mother, I see dead people.
( When spiders are sewing up Victor's coat)
SPIDERS: Lovely lovely lovely...( spiders crawling on Victor)
VICTOR: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Hey! Now you're going to personal spots!
Pastor Galswells: Be gone ye demons from hell! Back to the void whence you came! Back, Back! (whips out a lightsaber) Whoa, get back in there.
Finis: We shall continued as planned, with or without Vincent.
Maudline: Victor.
Finis: Whatever. The boy is an idiot.
Maudline: He's a retard.
Finis: He needs to eat more so he'll grow up like me.
Maudline: Oh shush Finish, you can barely fit through the doorway.
Barkis: For that boy to toss away a girl like Victoria, why, it's positively criminal. If I had a woman like your daughter I would lavish her with riches befitting royalty! (his hair falls off) Damn, I gotta keep that thing on!
Finis: Is he from your side of the family?
Maudline: I can't recall. Emil, a seat for lord Barkis. (Barkis sits but Emil pulls his chair)
Barkis: YOU IDIOT! WHAT THE MOTHERF----R WAS THAT FOR YOU F----ING SONOFAB--CH WHO SUCKS YOUR MOMMY'S T-TS YOU ROTTEN A--HOLE SH-TTY SUCKIN' F--CKERMOTHER!!!!!!
Pastor Galswells: ...Let's just pick it up at the candle bit...
CORPSE BRIDE: Victor darling! Whould you be so kind as to make me a sandwich?
VICTOR VAN DORT: Make your own freakin' sandwich!
(After Barkis drinks the poisonous rum and is trapped in that one room by the corpses)
VICTOR VAN DORT: (long pause) Hey! Why's all the rum gone?!
VICTORIA EVERGLOT: (ignoring Victor's amazingly stupid question) Well, now that Barkis is gone we can all live happily ever after!
VICTOR VAN DORT: Yeah, but... why's all the rum gone?!
CORPSE BRIDE: Here's a hint, stupid: THIS ISN'T PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN WORLD!!!! THERE NEVER WAS ANY RUM!!!! GEEZ!!!! ARE YOU STUPID, UGLY, AND COLORBLIND?!?!
VICTOR VAN DORT: (very long pause) Why's all the rum gone?!
CORPSE BRIDE: I want a divorce. Now.
Town Crier: Hear ye! Hear ye! Victor Van Dort seen last night on the bridge in the hands of a mystery woman and they sneak away into the night!!!! In other news, the monkey's escaped the zoo so watch your-AAAHHHH(jumped by monkey's)
Victor: You don't have to. I'll do it. (Victor suddenly falls dead)
Emily: What! Victor, Victor, are you dead?
Victor: Yes actually.
Emily: What happened, did you have a heart attack!?
Victor: No, dear no. I believe Mrs. Plum farted.
Pastor Galswells: (sees the dead people torturing Barkis) What are you all doing in my room?!!!