( Everyone running from the dead people screaming)

MAUDELINE: Hey, why are you running and screaming? It's not as scary as Finis in a speedo. Yep. I remember.

( Flashback of Maudeline and Finis at the beach)

MAUDELINE: Finis, go into he stalls and change

FINIS: Kay.( Gets changed and comes out in a Speedo.)

MAUDELINE: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! ( Runs away screaming)


Victor Van Dort: (with an afro, sunglasses, and gold galore)

Yo, I'm Victor Van Dort!

My attention span is short!

Better have a passport,

or I'm seeing you in court!

Corpse Bride: (wearing black leather and dreadlocks)

Yo, I'm the Corpse Bride!

A long time ago, I died!

That stupid Victor lied,

so I'm takin' him for a joyride!

(wink wink, nudge nudge, poke poke)

Finnis Everglot: (wearing a cornrow hairdo, a pair of sunglasses with a lens missing, and a pink boa. He's also smoking a cigar.)

Yo, I'm Finnis Everglot!

Have you seen my yacht?

I'd like to boycott

fish abuse and whatnot.

Victor Van Dort:

Let's kick it back in mah crib!

Finnis Everglot:

I like the cut of your jib!

Corpse Bride:

I'd oughta kick you in the rib!

Victor, Corpse, and Finnis:

We all like to wear bibs! Yooooo...

Victoria Everglot:

Good... God. Never... sing... AGAIN!!!

Victor Van Dort:

Screw you!


CORPSE:( To Emily) I dare ya to kiss General Boneapart.

EMILY: EEEEWWWW! No way!

CORPSE: Chicken.

EMILY: Fine.( Kisses General Boneapart)

CORPSES: I can't believe she kissed Boneapart!

EMILY: I can't believe I kissed him!

VICTOR: ( With butter tub) And I can't believe it's not butter!


VICTOR: I would never marry you!

EMILY: Fine.( Jack comes in and starts making out)

VICTOR: What the hell is this?

EMILY: We always do this.

VICTOR: You have affairs with Jack?

EMILY: Yep. Now Victor, Elder, you're ruining the moment. Please leave.( Start making out again)


BOY SKELETON: I want a cookie.

EMILY: Well... SO DO I!!!!


Victor: But I don't even know your name.

Emily: It's Emily.

Victor: How did you die?

Emily: Oh, I was killed somehow. Smashed to the head and then buried alive, I died by suffocation and bleeding to the head.

Victor: May I examine your wounds? (he sees her nasty wounds)

Victor: Ugh!!

Emily: What is it?!

Victor: Your head is missing some bone and there is partially dinewed fleshy tissue remaining. We are dealing with a madman!

(in the Land of the Living, Barkis is in his guest room playing with bunny carcasses)

Barkis: Hehehehe, I like bunnies!