Victor:I love weddings! Drinks all around!


-Laughing while walking down hall.-

BARKIS: Hahahahahaha -snorts and coughs out a hairball- Gotta stop lickin myself

PICTURES:...

PICTURE1: Wierdo.

PICTURE2: Wow.

VICTORIA PICTURE: HE's my husband? Best make me marry the monkey!

-Barkis strokes the face of the Victoria picture-

VICTORIA PICTURE: Hey! Get your hand off me!

BARKIS: I'm caressing your face.

VICTORIA PICTURE: GET YOUR GODDAMNED HAND OFF ME BEFORE I SAY YOU'RE MOLESTING ME!!!

BARKIS: Alright, alright! Wait for the honeymoon.

VICTORIA PICTURE: SECURITY!!!!!!!!


(When the dogs are sniffing their butts.)

DOGGY: I like you.

SCRAPS: Let's get together later. If you know what I mean...


Mayhew-(wheezing and coughing)

Pastor Galswells- (walking onto set unaware of anyone for a moment, and he inhales the air) Ahhh, it's a pleasant relief to be away from lightsabers and risking my head getting cut off again. No more "Star Wars", no more "droid general", no more!

Mayhew- 'Scuse me, do you have a tissue?

Pastor Galswells- Oh, no! It's General Grievous! Again! Not the lightsabers! AAAAAARGH! I don't want my head cut off again!

Mayhew- What the--what're you talking about?

Pastor Galswells- Well, if you are pale, hunched over, you wear something on your shoulders and you cough all the time, then you must be Grievous! (packs case) I'm leaving! Peter! Vincent! Save me a spot, will you?


Barkis: Emily...but I left you. I thought you were dead.

Jim: (with his revolver) I didn't.

Victor/Barkis/Victoria/Emily: Who the hell are you?


Elder Gutneckt: When you want to return, just say the word "Hopscotch".

Corpse Bride: Hopscotch?

Elder Gutneckt: Yes. Hopscotch. Letters appear on screen as he says them. H-O-P-S-C--gets hit by a shoe, falls over Ow!

Corpse Bride: He sure is annoying.

Victor Van Dort: Yeah, annoying! Letters appear on screen as he says them. A-N-N-O-- gets hit by a shoe


-Barkis stabs Emily-

Victoria: Is she dead?

Victor: She was dead to begin with. Darn it! I gotta stop thinking I'm Ichabod.


-Victor's in the woods practicing his vows and he goes up to a circle of trees. One with a turkey on it, one with a clover, one and Easter egg, one a US flag, one a menorah, one a pumpkin and dum dum dum! A CHRISTMAS TREE!!!-

VICTOR: Oooohhh...

-Walks up to it-

VICTOR: So... pretty...-Opens door and falls in.-

VICTOR: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Falls into Christmas Town.-

VICTOR:-singing- What's this? What's this? This colour everywhere? What's this? These white things in the air? What's this? I can't believe my oh wake up Victor this isn't fair! What's this? What's this?

-Bumps into Jack-

JACK: This is my song.

VICTOR: Can I have the Town Meeting one?

JACK: Fine. And here's your copyrights for it.

VICTOR: How about the What's This reprise?

JACK: Go head.

VICTOR: And the kiss with Sally?

JACK: Don't push it.