You Can Go Now

The years passed without incident. I graduated high school, but this brought little hope. Now I would help my brother put food on the table. I worked at a diner, different from the one I work at now. It was not in the Narrows, and was not a bad place. I had given up on ever seeing my parents again, and I wondered why I would want to. Still, it seemed sad to be without them. I missed them sometimes, but I hid my pain from my brother. I'm sure he blamed himself, as he did for everything else.

Lisa I saw rarely. She worked on the other side of town. We kept in touch, but weren't very close. I'm afraid I pushed her away when my parents left. I rebelled against my need for companionship, which only made me miss Mother and wish she had been different. I found myself even missing the sister I'd never known, thinking perhaps she would make this life more pleasant.

When I was barely twenty, though it felt far older, my wish came true in part. Renee returned, but not the calm person I had known. Given her state, I'm glad I was the one to greet her, and Alex was at work.

I can't remember what I was doing, but the doorbell came as a surprise. I answered it immediately, and was shocked to find my sister there. She was by then twenty-nine and the years lay more heavily on her than they should have. Her eyes, I remember, were haunted, as though she knew secrets she didn't want to.

"Renee, what are you doing here?" I asked, my surprise forcing away civility.

She gave a wild smile. That was disturbing; she'd never been one to show more emotion than was necessary. "I've come back at last! To see you, darling," she added.

"Why?" I asked, wondering if I should ask her to come in, given her fey mood. I needn't have asked, because she came in anyway and threw herself on the couch.

"Why? Well, that's nice. It was hard enough tracking you down. Does Alex live with you?" she added, looking around. She looked a little nervous at the thought.

"Yes, he does. But he's not at home."

"Splendid. Then we can have a nice chat about how things are without him getting uppity." I did not point out that he was hardly uppity, and never got upset without cause.

"Yes, I suppose we can."

We sat in silence for a few minutes as she scrutinized the apartment and I watched her. She seemed to have calmed down, nearly back to how I remembered her. She wore a trench coat, as was common. Beneath it, she wore a fine pantsuit. Clearly, her visit was not due to being in need of help. She was quite well dressed, I thought, as I studied her. She turned to me, catching my gaze, and smiled.

"So, baby sister, how goes things?" I did not reply immediately, not sure how. "Heard from your parents lately?"

"No," I said harshly. "Not for four years. I'm sure they've forgotten us." That sobered her up quickly.

"I'm sorry to hear that," she said at last. "That is quite a shock." She studied me for a moment. "How are you handling it? You knew them better than I," she added.

"Yes, I did." I paused, supposing I could be more civil without injuring my pride. "I am handling it well. I did not really expect them to return. As you said, so long ago, we are a burden." She had the decency to look apologetic. This was followed by silence. "Why are you here?" I asked at last.

She looked up at me, and I was startled to see her tears. "I missed you. I was lonely." She paused, and I wondered how to respond. "That's why I let him send me here," she said slowly.

"Who? Why?"

"Henri. Ra's. I don't know why, yet. He's started sending people to Gotham, and asked if I'd like to go. He'll come himself, from time to time," she added.

"How long will he be here? What, exactly, is he doing?" I asked suspiciously.

"His wondrous work," she replied with surprising vehemence. As I had only previously known of him working at some sort of school, I couldn't imagine what she was talking about. Starting a new school, regardless of its teachings, hardly seemed something about which to be so enamored. Sensing my doubt, she frowned at me. "His deeds are just, and he will save the city from its corruption and greed. He will make it a better place, though it may have to become worse first," she added softly.

"How does he plan to do that?" I asked sarcastically.

She laughed suddenly, sounding a bit mad. "Heavens, I don't know. But I'm sure he'll succeed. He always does. It may be a few years, though. There is much to do," she said seriously.

I was silent, regarding her. Perhaps, had I liked her better, I would have determined to save her from whatever strange goings-on she'd gotten involved in. However, I'd never liked Henri and felt that her lot was her problem.

"Enough about me. Tell me everything that's happened to you in these years," she said, suddenly the friendly, patronizing sister I'd remembered.

I told her what seemed interesting. About school, about work, about Alex and Lisa. There was little to tell, really. The years of her absence were not characterized by much. Thus, our talk soon turned to gossip of the wealthy. Bruce Wayne, at that time, had been gone only two years.

"Where do you think he went?" I mused. "Did Falcone kill him?"

"I doubt that," Renee replied. "I'm sure he will be found, sooner or later. Really, though, I'd want to run away for a while if I were in his position." I did not add that she had run away in a lesser position.

"Well, I'm sure he'll turn up. Rich people are easy to identify," I said significantly.

"Jenny, how morbid," she replied, laughing.

That's when Alex came in. The laughter immediately left the room, as they glowered at one another. "What's she doing here?" he demanded.

"She came for a visit," I said slowly.

"And you let her in?" He turned his angry gaze to me, and I looked away.

Before he could rant, which he rarely did and needed to prepare for, Renee spoke up. "I'm sorry that we do not get along, brother. I wish there were some way I could change that."

Momentarily appeased, he nodded curtly. "Perhaps there is a way. But we will discuss that later. I had heard your husband was coming to town."

At the time, this mystified me. How could he know? Even then, I fear he had sunk somewhat in what he was willing to do.

"Yes, he's coming. But not yet. There is much to do," Renee replied with surprising gravity. It seemed that there was some connection between them I didn't understand, and this feeling was intensified by the way they glanced at me. "But that can be discussed later. I am delighted to see both of you!" she declared.

There were no more dark hints that evening, which passed quite pleasantly. We had little in common, as far as our acquaintance went, but Renee was always able to make amusing conversation. I think it's something you learn at boarding school

Renee left late that evening. We warned her against leaving in the darkness, given the neighborhood. It had gone down since we moved in. She told us not to worry, and disappeared into the darkness. Work was busy, but I again found myself to be the only one home the next day, when there was a quick knock at the door.

Unsurprisingly, it was Renee. She smiled at me, and seemed in a much better mood than the previous afternoon. "We did not finish our discussion yesterday. Please, tell me how things really are." She glanced significantly at the sparse surroundings.

I shrugged. "Everyone's bad off, you know. We're getting by, and that's all that matters," I said passively. It was not a subject I intended to speak too freely about. I remembered the disdain of the relatives for our poverty, and I refused to be subjected to that myself. If Mother would put up with it, I would not.

"I meant nothing by it. I'm sure you're doing as well as you can," she said soothingly.

She did not press the subject again, and we turned to safer discussion. I invited her to stay for dinner, and she suggested I invite Lisa as well. I did not know she had any regard for my friend, but it was a kind gesture. I didn't believe there were any ulterior motives behind it, and perhaps those were misconstrued anyway. But I'm jumping ahead again.

Lisa was delighted to hear from me, and more delighted to come. The dinner passed with happiness on all our sides. We recalled our youth, and how pleasant it now seemed.

"Yes, weren't those the days? When you all lived happily on the edge of town, instead of in it," Renee said. We agreed that it was. Had I been paying more attention, I might have noticed the sadness on my brother's face, as he looked at Lisa.

"Lisa, how are things for you?" Renee continued. "Are you doing okay?"

"Well, I still live with my parents. But they need the help around the house, you know, what with all the children. I suppose I could move out, but there's really no need to. I may, I guess, if I had someone to move in with," she added, then seemed embarrassed that she'd said it out loud. "I mean, to marry or something," she muttered.

"Of course," Renee said with a smile. I followed her gaze to where my brother sat, looking ashamed. And felt a nagging suspicion of my darling older sister.