You're Already in There

Renee did not come to visit the next day. I was relieved. Lisa called to ask if were having another nice dinner again. I told her I didn't know. It depended on if Renee showed up again.

"Can't you call her or something?" Lisa asked, sounding surprised.

"No. She didn't leave any way to reach her. I guess we'll just wait until she wants to see us," I added.

"Well, that's strange. Your sister may be a bit mad, you know," Lisa said quietly.

I laughed. "Oh, I'm sure she is. Hopefully not in a bad way, though."

"Hopefully. Well, let me know if you want to do something." She paused, perhaps considering whether or not to ask about Alex. "Well, I'll see you."

"Sure. See you later," I replied, hanging up.

It had not occurred to me until the night before that Lisa and Alex still liked each other. I knew Lisa adored Alex when we were children. I didn't know the feeling had lasted, or that Alex might return it. But, I suppose he considered it to be something denied him, since he was too busy taking care of me. Of us, I thought.

I considered how it would be, if they got married. I'm afraid it first struck me that I would have no place to live. I was the problem between them. That was quite a pity. I didn't know what to do about that. I didn't want to be in the way, but what choice did I have? My job didn't pay enough to live anywhere decent on my own. And I knew Alex would never ask that of me. More likely, Lisa might move in with us. But that would be awkward.

I sighed. Well, it can't be helped. They never spoke to one another, and were perhaps unaware of the other's regard. As a sister and a best friend, I really should have worked to get them together. But not yet. Maybe when things were better, I'd make a move. But, now, it could wait. Alex was only twenty-five, and Lisa was but twenty. Marriage could wait a couple years. And her family needed her now. I made up many excuses to keep them apart for my convenience.

When Alex came home later that day, he looked very tired, but thoughtful.

"Renee called me today," he said without preamble.

"What did you talk about?" I asked, feeling suddenly wary.

"She said that her husband might have some jobs for me to do. That would pay well," he added, looking at me significantly.

"We have enough money to get by," I found myself saying. How odd, since I had long wished one of us had more money.

He seemed to find this statement odd as well, for he frowned at me. "Yeah, I guess so," he said slowly. "We can talk it over later. I'm tired. What's for dinner?"

I smiled, then went to get dinner ready. I felt that the tragedy was momentarily diverted.

I don't know what bothered me so much about my brother working for my brother-in-law. Perhaps most families have problems with that. Or perhaps Henri just made me nervous. I didn't think he could possibly be doing something I wanted by dear brother involved in. Regardless of what wealth we might accumulate as a result.

I think Alex and I differed greatly on our feelings of money. He was older, and remembered better when we'd had money. He could recall the feeling of power it gave him, and the luxury of not having to worry about where our next meal came from. Also, his responsibility for me made him long to have more cash to spend where he wished, instead of dedicating it all to my welfare.

I was unaware of his sacrifices for me. I knew money was tight, and I spent little. We did have enough to get by, even enough for a few luxuries now and again. I did not remember well when we'd had a lot of money, only when we'd had just enough to make ends meet. Everyone wants more money, more ability to buy frivolous things. But I was not swayed much by this desire. I would not work somewhere that paid more for only that reason. I would enjoy, at least a little, where I worked, and keep my moral standards. I'm afraid Alex was willing to give up both.

My suspicion of Renee increased when she came to visit again. I wondered that she always came when I was home alone. I wonder at that even now, since she clearly wanted to sway my brother to work. I suppose she saw me as a barrier, which must also be swayed. She was wrong. Alex would work for her husband when he was ready, and had nothing to do with me. Only the pressures of my existence made him feel stronger. My pleading did not work, but I was a long way from that then.

My suspicion was increased because she showed up wearing a fine coat, far more than we could ever afford.

"Hello, darling," she said to me with a grin. She was in a fey mood again, I saw.

"Hello. What a lovely coat," I said quietly.

"Isn't it, though? My husband bought it for me. Would you like one?" she asked, looking a sweet and innocent as she could.

I smiled. "Oh, I shouldn't know what to do with such a rich thing. Probably just ruin it. Better leave me with my old clothes," I told her gravely.

She frowned. "I meant no offense, my dear. But very well. If you change your mind, I'd love to take you shopping," she told me.

She knew my weakness. I loved clothes. It was one luxury I could not afford. She knew, also, that my brother would be distressed if I wore a gift. It would mock him, saying he was unable to provide for my wishes himself. Unfortunately, I did not know my brother as well as I thought then.

"I love shopping," I said happily.

"Then we must go sometime!" she declared.

I nodded. "That would be delightful."

We spent the next few hours discussing various fashions. She told me all sorts of things about the clothes she had, some from Europe. She even told me much about living there herself, always able to get the newest and best clothes.

"It's really a lovely place."

"Have you ever been back?" I asked.

She frowned, sadly. "No. I meant to. I want to visit my stepmother and my family there. They might have me now," she added.

I felt pity. "I'm sorry. Did they make you leave them?"

"Yes. I'm afraid my shopping bills were getting a bit high," she added with a grin. I smiled back.

When Alex came home that evening, we were still on the couch, discussing clothes. He looked distressed by her presence. But he did not complain this time.

"Hello, my brother," she said to him. "We've been discussing clothes, and I'm afraid the time quite got away from us."

"What kind of clothes?" he asked, looking confused.

"Good clothes," I said with a grin. "The sort that no one can afford."

"No one?" he asked.

"Well, few people." I shrugged.

Renee smiled. "A few people," she echoed, winking at me.

"Like our own dear sister," I said, laughing.

Alex gave a pained smile. "That's nice. When's dinner?" he said abruptly.

Thus, the dangerous subject was momentarily averted.

Lisa called me the next day. "Jenny? Do you know what your brother-in-law does?" she asked tentatively.

"Not really," I admitted.

"Well, I was talking with… some people at the diner," she began.

"What sort of people?" I interrupted.

"The sort I shouldn't be talking to," she said sharply. "But, anyway, when I mentioned his name, they all looked scared."

"I don't understand--"

"Don't you see? They were Falcone's thugs. And they were frightened of him. Do you think he's a crime lord, too?" She sounded upset.

"I don't know. Maybe. Renee was showing me all this rich stuff she had. I know he lived in Mongolia. Do crime lords come from there?"

Lisa sighed. "Do you think we should warn Alex?"

"And tell him what?" I snapped, feeling anxious. What was he getting himself into?

"I don't know! Something," she murmured.

We discussed various things to tell him, to persuade him that we were quite happy in our poverty, and not to do anything stupid. The discussion helped. I managed to avoid the topic of them getting married. She would not mention it, not sure of where she stood in his regard. In the end, though, we couldn't think of anything helpful. I'd just have to tell him what Lisa had heard and seen, and hope for the best. I thanked her and said goodbye. I'd let her know how things went.

The hours until he got home were torture. I considered calling him and demanding he come home right away. But I suppose calling his work would have done no good. When he finally came home, he was smiling.

"Guess where I was, sister dearest," he said happily.

"I can't imagine," I replied, wondering at this change.

"Our sister took me to a warehouse and I met him."

"Who?" I asked, mainly to forestall the dread that was washing over me.

"Henri. Ra's al Ghul. Gave me a nice job, too," he said proudly. He saw my face. "What's wrong?"

We argued for the rest of the evening. I tried to convince him what Lisa had heard. He told me that they might be frightened of him because he's a good man. "And he is, Jenny. None better," he declared. I knew I'd lost him.