Leave Me With Your Borneo

The weeks passed. Alex was taken deeper into the confidence of my sister and her husband. I was left out, so I don't know what this entailed. But I saw less and less of him, and Renee came more often to get him, on the rare occasion he was at home. I was able to avoid him, since any words only resulted in arguing now.

I didn't know what to do. I was losing my brother, wondering how long it had been since we'd been close. Some time, I supposed. He kept everything about him from me, seeing me as something for whom he cared, and had responsibility. I wasn't a friend, to be trusted with secrets. I was a burden. The thought makes me savage, even now.

Wrapped in my bitterness, I avoided all company. Until, one afternoon, Lisa came to see me. She didn't know that Alex was working for them, and I'd never let her know what was going on. Needless to say, she was quite worried.

"Jenny! What's happened?" she demanded, catching me by the shoulders.

I stared at her, silently. Then, "he's gone to work for Henri. I don't see him anymore. I don't know what he's getting into," I said sadly.

"Did you tell him?" she asked softly, searching my face.

I laughed bitterly. "I tried. He didn't care to listen."

"Jenny, we have to do something!"

"Like?"

Lisa paused, looking upset. "I don't know. Maybe Renee could help?"

I should my head. "She came back to get him, I think. Well, maybe that wasn't her only reason. But it was the reason she came to visit. To make him feel inadequate, so he would work for her husband."

"Well, did it work?" she asked, skeptically.

"Apparently."

"Well, you know what to do now, don't you?"

I blinked. "I haven't any ideas anymore."

She shook her head at me. "My dear best friend, I've known you since we were this tall," she motioned. "And you never change. You don't like subtle manipulation; it has to be obvious to you. I know, it's not fair otherwise, but it is necessary this time. Don't you agree?" she said. I stared at her.

"I suppose," I said slowly.

"You have to find out why he's doing it, if you want him to stop. You find out, and we'll meet together again and can discuss how to make him change. Sound like a plan?" She nodded at me. I found myself nodding back. "Good. Let me know how that goes. And don't throw yourself into despair and not call me," she added, winking. With that, she left. I sat down to ponder how best to get this answer.

It was some time before I approached Alex. One afternoon, I decided I had better do something now. When he came home, I knew by his look it would be a brief visit. He was not happy to see me. I sighed inwardly.

"Alex, can I talk to you?" I asked quietly. Demurely, which was quite against my nature.

He looked surprised. "I guess," he said after a moment.

"Why did you take the job?"

He sighed. "I don't want to argue any more. I took it, and that's that."

"Yes, I know. I was just wondering why."

"Well…" he paused. "I guess it was for a few reasons. Most of them because it pays better," he added with a small smile.

"Would you do anything for money?" I asked sadly.

"No! Of course not. But I can give up some of my petty inclinations if it means a better life."

"And how, exactly, is this a better life? You don't speak to me anymore," I began. Then stopped abruptly: this led to an argument.

"I know. But that didn't come with the job," he pointed out. "I would talk to you, if it meant more than another argument."

"Well, then, I promise I won't argue. Tell me everything," I said, smiling sadly.

To my surprise, he did. He told me all his hopes and dreams, which I will record as best I recall them.

"Well, my dear sister, you are foremost in my concerns. It is hard to get by here, and your small salary can't keep you in this home. I'm putting aside some of my money for you, though it won't amount to much for some time. But I'm hoping it will be enough to help you out, if I should leave. And I plan on leaving. I love you, but I can't… I don't want to be tied to my family the rest of my life. I want to be independent." He looked at me searchingly. "Can you understand that?"

"Yes, I can understand," I replied. He smiled, momentarily happy.

"That's good news. A load off my back, I must say."

"And what will you do to prove your independence?"

He looked thoughtful. "I thought… I thought I might travel. But, failing that, the job does that quite well. I get to run things, though not much is happening yet. But it will; great things will come to pass," he said passionately. He checked himself. "But I forget myself. I don't know how much I can tell you," he said. He looked like, well, a giddy schoolboy, if I may use the phrase.

I laughed out loud. "If you are so happy about it, I shall be held in terrible suspense until I can know."

He shrugged. "I'm afraid you must be, for a while. I'll ask Renee, see what she'll tell you. She has more freedom to wag her tongue than I do," he said with mock gravity.

"Does she? Well, I'll have to catch her and make her talk one of these days," I responded.

"Yes, you'll have to."

We were silent a moment. "Well, what else do you have planned for this lovely future of yours? Preferably things you're allowed to tell me," I added.

He blushed. I had never seen him do so before, and it was something of a shock.

"Well, I was, kind of, thinking that, maybe, Lisa would…" he trailed off, looking at the floor. But smiling.

"Lisa would," I prompted, grinning impishly.

"You know," he said.

"No, I really don't. You must tell me," I told him gravely.

"You little imp, you know perfectly well what I'm talking about. I thought she might, if she was willing, consent to marry me," he said slowly, as if savoring the words to see how they felt. "Do you think she would?"

"I don't know," I said honestly. "She may like the idea. I think you should ask her, not me."

"And risk getting rejected? No, I'd much rather my sister tell me I don't have a chance than have to find out the hard way," he said.

I laughed. "I suppose you would. That's understandable. Well, I'll test the water for you, anyway. Perhaps you should start by asking her on a date before you think further ahead," I cautioned.

"What? Oh, yes, I suppose so. I'm getting ahead of myself."

"And if she says no, I'm sure there are other women who'd line up for you," I told him, consolingly.

"Have you already counted her against me, then?" he demanded, frowning.

"I think you should always have a plan B," I replied, shrugging.

"I guess so," he said. He fell silent, saddened.

"Oh come now, don't be depressed. Tell me more."

He shook his head. "It seems empty without her there. But I'll try."

He was quiet, and I wondered if he would continue speaking or not.

"We'll get a nice house on the edge of town. I'll work Henri, I suppose. It will be a long commute, but worth it to keep our children out of this filth." I was startled by the vehemence of the last word. But I kept my mouth shut. "And maybe we can move somewhere else, away from this place. Somewhere nice and peaceful, where you don't have to fear for your life whenever you leave you home. Or, maybe… maybe it will have been purged, and this once-beautiful city will be what it used to be," he said softly.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, I probably shouldn't tell you… but that's what Henri's doing! He's trying to turn the city around, to make it safe for people again. He said it might be beyond saving, though," he said solemnly.

"And what then?" I asked, trying to keep the fear from my voice.

"Well, then, it must be purged. But I'm sure he'll wait a while before he gives up entirely," he asserted.

"I'm sure," I murmured.

Alex continued his stories of the good life away from here. It might seem to you that it would be no small thing to just pick and leave, given how little we had anyway. But I think we were both afraid to go, for more reason than one. The main one, loath though I am to admit it, was we still had hope our parents would return. Or at least write. We still wished for their return, and felt it was still possible. Even now, a small part of me regrets leaving that apartment, because now they will not find me.

I didn't listen to the rest of his words. I was sick with dread. I remembered the fanatical look on my sister's eyes as she described her wonderful husband. Did he have my brother under his spell as well? So it would seem. I would not fall to that, though, I vowed. I loved the city, despite its pain and suffering. Whether it could be saved or not, I didn't know. But it was my home, and I would not be forced from it, or allow it to be destroyed. Not if I could help it, though my siblings stood in the way. Would they be as heartless, I wondered?