(Victor and Emily are arguing) Emily: You just went there to see that other woman!!!!
Victor: You don't understand!
Emily: I understand perfectly you freaking player!!!
Victor: GGGRRR, I wish you were dead.
...uncomfortable silence follows
Barkis: Emily?
Emily: You!
Barkis: But I, I left you!!!!
Emily: For dead!
(everyone gasps)
Victor: OMG, you and Barkis were going steady!!!
Emily: And in a way we still are because he never OFFICIALLY broke up with me!!
Victor: (thinking of the sick thoughts of Emily and Barkis together) Ugh...did you delouse?
Victor:Hello Miss?
Galswells: What do you mean Miss?
Victor: Oh sorry I have a cold. I wish to complain about this bride I accidentally married not too long after you sent me into that very forest.
Galswells: Ah yes. What's wrong with her.
Victor: I'll tell you what's wrong with her. It's dead. That's what's wrong with her.
Galswells: No. It's resting.
Victor: She's not resting. She's passed on. This bride is no more. She has ceased to be. She has expired and gone to meet her maker. This is a late bride. It's a stiff bereft of life. If you hadn't sent me to the woods, I would be married to Victoria by now. This girl has flung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. THIS is an EX-BRIDE!!!!!
(Barkis and Victoria getting married)
Barkis: With this ring, I ask you to be mine.
Victoria: "Ask" you say? Then NO!
Barkis: Dammit woman you have to marry me!
Victoria: God my parents are making me marry a skeez and are trying to ruin my life! I'm leaving to the only person in this God forsaken world who understands!
Barkis: Who?
Victoria: OPRAH! Screw you guys I'm going to Chicago!-leaves-
Victor:why cant you understand it was a mistake? i would never marry you!
-Emily slaps Victor-
Emily:Victor your hystarical! i demand a divorce!
Barkis: I'm too sexy for my shirt.
Too sexy for my shirt.
So sexy it hurts.
Victoria: (to herself) Help me!
Finis: You will marry Barkis tommorrow!
Victoria: No I won't! I'm making my own choices! I'm marrying Orlando Bloom!
-goes on the POTC set.-
Victoria: Orlando!!! Hey Johnny! You're supposed to be playing Victor!
Johnny: Why is the rum gone?
Victor's Moms: It's a terrible day!
Victor's Pops: It's a rather bad day.
Victor's Moms: A day for a terrible wedding!
Victor's Pops: A rehersal my dear, to be perfectly clear.
Victor's Moms: A rehearsal for an ominous wedding!
Victor's Pops: Wait... oh damn! CUT!!
Maggot: (standing beside Victor's footprints in the snow) Besides, he couldn't get very far with those cold feet!
(Police sirens)
Maggot: Who are you?!
Bad Pun Policeman: We are the Bad Pun Police! For saying a bad pun, you must die!
(The Bad Pun Police shoots at Maggot, but to no avail.)
Maggot: Nice try, but I don't have knees.
Bad Pun Policeman: Damn! You got lucky this time... BUB!!
Mayhew: Guess it's time it pick up the pieces and move on, I guess.
Drunk Skeleton: (in pieces on the floor) 'Oy. Speakin' o' pickin' up the pieces...
(The Bad Pun Police arrives with their siren and shoot at the Skeleton.)
Drunk Skeleton: 'Oy! You shot out my coccyx! That's my bum bone!
Victor: You don't understand!
Emily: I understand perfectly you freaking player!!!
Victor: GGGRRR, I wish you were dead.
...uncomfortable silence follows
Barkis: Emily?
Emily: You!
Barkis: But I, I left you!!!!
Emily: For dead!
(everyone gasps)
Victor: OMG, you and Barkis were going steady!!!
Emily: And in a way we still are because he never OFFICIALLY broke up with me!!
Victor: (thinking of the sick thoughts of Emily and Barkis together) Ugh...did you delouse?
Victor:Hello Miss?
Galswells: What do you mean Miss?
Victor: Oh sorry I have a cold. I wish to complain about this bride I accidentally married not too long after you sent me into that very forest.
Galswells: Ah yes. What's wrong with her.
Victor: I'll tell you what's wrong with her. It's dead. That's what's wrong with her.
Galswells: No. It's resting.
Victor: She's not resting. She's passed on. This bride is no more. She has ceased to be. She has expired and gone to meet her maker. This is a late bride. It's a stiff bereft of life. If you hadn't sent me to the woods, I would be married to Victoria by now. This girl has flung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. THIS is an EX-BRIDE!!!!!
(Barkis and Victoria getting married)
Barkis: With this ring, I ask you to be mine.
Victoria: "Ask" you say? Then NO!
Barkis: Dammit woman you have to marry me!
Victoria: God my parents are making me marry a skeez and are trying to ruin my life! I'm leaving to the only person in this God forsaken world who understands!
Barkis: Who?
Victoria: OPRAH! Screw you guys I'm going to Chicago!-leaves-
Victor:why cant you understand it was a mistake? i would never marry you!
-Emily slaps Victor-
Emily:Victor your hystarical! i demand a divorce!
Barkis: I'm too sexy for my shirt.
Too sexy for my shirt.
So sexy it hurts.
Victoria: (to herself) Help me!
Finis: You will marry Barkis tommorrow!
Victoria: No I won't! I'm making my own choices! I'm marrying Orlando Bloom!
-goes on the POTC set.-
Victoria: Orlando!!! Hey Johnny! You're supposed to be playing Victor!
Johnny: Why is the rum gone?
Victor's Moms: It's a terrible day!
Victor's Pops: It's a rather bad day.
Victor's Moms: A day for a terrible wedding!
Victor's Pops: A rehersal my dear, to be perfectly clear.
Victor's Moms: A rehearsal for an ominous wedding!
Victor's Pops: Wait... oh damn! CUT!!
Maggot: (standing beside Victor's footprints in the snow) Besides, he couldn't get very far with those cold feet!
(Police sirens)
Maggot: Who are you?!
Bad Pun Policeman: We are the Bad Pun Police! For saying a bad pun, you must die!
(The Bad Pun Police shoots at Maggot, but to no avail.)
Maggot: Nice try, but I don't have knees.
Bad Pun Policeman: Damn! You got lucky this time... BUB!!
Mayhew: Guess it's time it pick up the pieces and move on, I guess.
Drunk Skeleton: (in pieces on the floor) 'Oy. Speakin' o' pickin' up the pieces...
(The Bad Pun Police arrives with their siren and shoot at the Skeleton.)
Drunk Skeleton: 'Oy! You shot out my coccyx! That's my bum bone!