Sick Cycle
My mother, Taranda as most other 'adults' called her, had always been the eccentric one. Not bounce off the walls, sugar-high, screaming fan girl eccentric … but more so overly happy, try her best, make a big deal out of the smallest things eccentric. Moreover, of course, me being her only son, I was the one to inherit that trait. My father, Anayo, left us when I was four. He had the serious, romantic, and determination. Apparently, he lives in Traverse Town … so I don't doubt that he hasn't met Riku yet. They both do share a hobby for baseball after all.
Back on the situation of my mother overreacting to everything, she was doing just that.
Her brown hair was pulled back in a messy bun as her nimble fingers attacked the sides of my suit with a needle. The point of said needle stabbed me once again, to which she winced and hurriedly apologized, laughing at her own clumsiness. Only a mother a son could love, I supposed.
"I bet Kairi looks beautiful." Taranda cooed, smiling up at me as she took in the large sides of the suit. Her large, blue eyes looked at me with such pride and love, that it was hard to think anything less of her.
"I bet she does." I concurred, a light tinge of color spreading throughout my already warmed face.
I would not deny that I was excited to see Kairi dressed up. I honestly was. And I won't deny that fact that I was elated by the fact that she was my date to the biggest dance of the year. Thing was, I could not for the life of me figure out why I was so gloomy. Wasn't I supposed to by jovial at a time like this?
"Did Tidus finally get a date?" Taranda wondered, holding the string between her teeth as she tied a knot.
"Yeah … some girl that just moved here a week ago from Traverse Town." I informed with a carefree smile, "Her name's Naminé. She's really nice."
"Well then, that's great!" Taranda exclaimed, reaching for the scissors to cut off the excess string that was not needed.
"I suppose." I offered in way of response, shrugging my shoulders as she cut said string.
She motioned for me to stand up straight, to which I hastily did. Her eyes swarmed over me, surveying her job. Once done, she slapped a gentle hand onto my shoulder with that motherly look on her face. "Sora, you look absolutely charming."
"Thanks, mom." I answered, glancing at the suit. Suits were not my thing …
"If only we could have managed to get your hair down for once," Taranda trailed off, observing my spikes with a bit of a grimace. "But over all, you look great."
"I like my hair," I refuted, giving it a gentle tap before smiling.
"I know you do." Taranda laughed softly before looking at the clock. "What time does the dance end again?"
"Eleven." I responded, marching over to my couch to rest. "Kairi should be here in a few minutes," I added on, guessing her next question before she had time to ask it.
"Make sure you have fun."
"I will." I promised.
A question flickered in her eyes, but she resisted the urge to ask it. I wasn't sure what she wanted to ask me, but I guessed it wasn't that important seeing she shrugged it off. She paced her way throughout the living room, shuffling over to the cabinet. I froze when I realized what she was grabbing. Oh god no mom, not the camera!
"Just getting it ready for Kairi comes." Taranda said waving her hand in the air to disperse the confusion that had just arisen in regards to the camera.
"Do you have to take a picture?" I whined, crossing my arms to my chest as I leaned back against the couch.
"I have to send a picture of you on your big day to your father." Taranda explained, turning the camera and testing it. When the light on it confirmed that it was working, she 'hmphed' triumphantly.
"Fine." I murmured.
A knocking broke my trance on the ceiling. Blue eyes glanced over to the door to which my mother was hurriedly making her way over. I laughed softly, rolling my eyes in the process. Carefully, I hoisted my body up and into a standing position.
Taranda opened the door moments after, allowing Kairi to make her way into the house. She tossed a wave over her shoulder to her parents, as if to tell them they could drive off and head back home. Her turquoise eyes fell from outside and over to me.
She was wearing a dark garnet dress, accented by silver detailing. Around her neck was simple, liquid-silver type necklace, accompanying teardrop earrings. Her hair was done and curly, and I could just make out the presence of silver eye shadow and eyeliner.
"Hey, Kairi." I managed in a smile, watching Taranda scurry about.
"Gather around kids," Taranda called, signaling for us to stand by the stairs together.
I passed a glance to Kairi who was blushing lightly. I extended my hand to her, to with she linked hers with mine seconds afterward. I walked her slowly, as if afraid to trip or lose my balance for some odd reason, over to the stairs. I stood beside her as she brought her hair in front of her for the picture.
"You two are so adorable together," Taranda cooed under her breath as he rose the camera to her eyes. "Ready?" She inquired.
"Yes." Kairi spoke cheerfully, nodding to my mother with elegance.
She looked so beautiful, and I was beginning to wonder why I had ever had doubts that I liked her. Something in the back of my head nagged at me, warning me not to fall for Kairi's new looks. I shrugged it off and smiled towards the camera as Taranda counted down from three. On three, she chimed 'cheese' as me and Kairi simultaneously smiled.
The picture was taken. And that was when I realized that I had taken the first step in the right direction. Of forgetting.
Riku . . . "Well here we go one more time" . . .
Roxas was by the far the most complex person I had ever met. Between his undying love for Naminé, even if she was now hundreds of miles away, and his addiction to DDR, and at last, his ability to turn on his stalker without even realizing it. Roxas was an idiot in the essence of the word, but he was a good person. Probably one of the nicest in this whole town, I surmised.
Roxas passed a cyan-hued glance over to me. A frown was splattered onto his face as he stood there, arms crossed to his chest, cheeks puffed out. His blonde hair was messy, as usual, and he was at my house, as usual. This, as he claimed countless times, was the safest place to hide out from Axel and his friends. To that I laughed distantly, claiming that one day he's going to regret ignoring Axel.
Axel wasn't that bad. I had the chance to meet the guy a few times since I've been here. All he wants is to be with Roxas. Apparently, the two used to be best friends until Roxas fell head-in-heels in love over Naminé. Axel got jealous, and you can see where that lead them. Axel was charming, in his own special, sadistic way, and humorous. I didn't see what Roxas had against him that made him hate him with a burning passion.
Maybe I was missing something … not like it mattered to begin with.
"Riku Karada." Roxas huffed, making me glance up from my book.
"Yes?" I chimed, arching an eyebrow at him.
"Stop reading and help me figure out a plan to go see Naminé." He snapped at me before pacing through my living room like he was on fire.
"…You don't even call her." I retorted, eyebrows knitting together with humor.
"So?" He replied, lips falling into a displeased look. "I care about her, and I want to see her." He bit his lip and glanced out the window.
"That's wonderful." I muttered, eyes falling back down onto the black-ink words of the book in my grasp.
"What about you?" He asked, looking over to me once again.
"What about me?" I echoed, trying to concentrate on the sentence but was finding it rather difficult with Roxas talking persistently.
"You haven't had a single date since you've been here." Roxas painfully reminded me, walking over. "Are you like secretly engaged to someone and have forgotten to tell me?"
"I don't see how me not dating anyone makes me have a fiancé." I murmured, a smirk slipping onto my lips from the obtuse idea.
"How about you and Yuffie go on a date? She seems interested." Roxas noted, taking a seat on the beanbag chair next to me. He leaned back, passing a brief glance to the DDR game and then back to me, as if contemplating which was more important.
"Yuffie?" I echoed, eyes widening.
"What, don't like her?" Roxas questioned.
"I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in her." I shrugged and closed my book, figuring I wasn't going to be doing any reading while Roxas was over.
"Then what about guys? Zexion is single, I hear." Roxas nudged me in the arm, smirking like he was confident in his idea.
"I told you I don't swing that way," I breathed in vexation.
"So you're telling me you only ever liked one person back home? And that was your ex, Larxene? Are you serious?" Roxas seemed skeptical as he reached for the dance pad, edging it closer to us anxiously.
"I only dated one person." I corrected, "Doesn't mean that I didn't like someone other than her."
Roxas smirked widely. "What happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it." I answered simply, setting the book down beside me.
"You said you were different back home," Roxas began, "like you weren't so uptight and more flirtatious. What changed?"
"Don't want to talk about." I murmured.
"Fine." Roxas sighed and then arose to his feet to turn on the game system. "You don't have to."
"Thank you." I replied swiftly.
"I'll just whore your game until you find the courage to talk about it." Roxas grinned widely at me as the opening theme started. He eagerly jumped onto the dance pad. I sighed, rolling my eyes and pushed my beanbag away from him and looked at the clock and then down at my phone. On it displayed the date, January 3rd. I sighed again and then closed my eyes.
The school year was almost halfway over, and I still was as lost as I had started.
Damn society.
Sora . . . "I tried to climb your steps" . . .
"Hey Sora."
Tidus had practically come out of nowhere and slapped his hand on my shoulder, similar to what Taranda had done earlier. I tensed at first then eyed the light brunette curiously. Beside him was Naminé, her blonde hair straight down. In her hair was a single, blue crystal clip tucked above her left ear. She wore a simple and elegant white dress with blue sparkles. She clung closely to Tidus and smiled at me, showing off her pearly white teeth. She reminded me of an angel.
"Hey you two." I responded, grinning.
"Where's Kairi?" Tidus inquired, glancing around curiously, noticing my lack of date on my arm.
"Oh, she's getting something to drink." I answered, shrugging. "Anyway, how are you guys?"
"We're good," Naminé replied care freely, looking around the winter-themed homecoming room. "We never had these dances back in Traverse Town." She spoke softly, a genuine smile on her pale lips.
"Really?" I questioned.
"Yeah." She nodded, "Because Roxas always asked me to them. I told him I'd love to go with him, but the school never held one." She shook her head and then laughed distantly, "Then he got Riku to ask me to the first actual dance."
I tensed.
"Sora?" Tidus asked, looking at me. "You're looking pale … are you getting sick or something?"
Sick was an understatement.
"D-did you say Riku?" I asked weakly, pretending to be only vaguely interested. Naminé blinked and then nodded. Tidus, on the other hand, rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to start laughing. I glared at his immaturity.
"Yes?" Naminé replied, "You know him?"
"Of course Sora does." Tidus cut me off, "Sora here was-!" Tidus began cheerfully with a wicked smile but I cut him off as he did to me.
"Was best friends with him." I finished, eying him darkly.
Did Tidus know?
"Oh." Naminé laughed, "He seemed really nice." She nodded and then paused, "I'm just surprised that he never talked about you …"
It was like breaking my heart all over again. I looked away painfully, pretending to ask like I didn't care. "Oh well."
Tidus noticed the glitter of hurt in my eyes, "Come on, Naminé, let's dance." He directed her away from me, shooting me a look of sympathy. I supposed he was surprised that I was still upset about my best friend leaving and completely forgetting about me. Hell the last time I talked to him was on my birthday nearly two months ago. …The last time I thought about him was nearly a month.
"Sora?" Kairi asked, poking me softly in the shoulder. "You look sad, what's wrong?"
"It's nothing." I said coolly, smiling gently at her, "Just was zoning out."
"All right." Kairi paused and glanced to the DJ, "Sora!" She beamed at me and dragged me towards the dance floor.
"What?" I questioned, feeling Kairi's grip on my hand tighten as she pulled me towards the middle. Her arms slid around me delicately. Her elegance remained me of a fragile, yet strikingly graceful lily. So pure, bright, and vibrant, and yet with a soft and gentle nature. No doubt that she was beautiful … it's just, her beauty really never did anything for me.
Cautiously, I rested my hands a few inches above her waist, both hands firmly on her sides. Her turquoise eyes met my deep blue ones briefly before I glanced away, laughing sheepishly. She didn't question it, and that was only when I realized what song was playing.
"Sora… you okay?" Kairi asked a few seconds later, tilting her head as we swayed to the soft, gradual beats of the song.
"Fine." I mumbled, trying not to let the song and the lyrics get to my head. I was so weak that it frightened and angered me all at the same time.
Everything was going to be all right. I had to keep telling myself that. Smile and make Kairi happy, that was my goal for the night. And have fun in the process. Not listen to this song that I thought I had gotten rid of. That was the plan. Simple ...
"You look sad," She noted, raising a hand from around me to gently trail an index finger along my cheek. "…Either I'm going insane, or that's a tear." She whispered.
"Don't." I mumbled weakly, turning my cheek away from her. She removed her hand, as if she had just been burnt. I winced and sighed, pulling her closer. "I'm sorry." I apologized quickly, "I've just been stressed lately, and I guess … I don't know," It was a complete lie. I knew exactly what was getting to me.
She silenced me with that carefree smile. "You don't have to explain, Sora. Whatever's boring you is your business." She nodded her head and then laughed nervously.
"Kairi?" I inquired, watching her mess with my suit with her fumbling fingers, as if kneading the fabric to calm herself.
"Heh…" She blushed and then leaned up a bit, letting our lips brush innocently. My hands fell limply from around her, standing there in utter shock. My eyes closed shut, and I barely felt her smooth lips coaxing mine into a reaction. It didn't come. I just stood there, running through the situation in my head. Kairi was kissing me, and I wasn't doing anything about it. I wasn't returning it, or running away. I was just standing there like a freaking statue.
She pulled away a bit, reaching up quickly to tug at a stray strand of her hair. She twirled it around on her finger, eying me hopefully.
"I'm sorry, Sora." She murmured when she noticed the dazed look on my face.
I shook my head drearily, trying not to let it phase me that much. "Don't worry about it." I offered, smiling a bit to try and lighten her moods.
She was one of my best friends … and I couldn't let a jerk like Riku get in between that.
Even if I was still in sheer love with the boy.
Sora . . . "I tried to chase you down" . . .
It was second period, also known as second block in my school, also known as Algebra II. My eyes flickered off the whiteboard the teacher was scribbling on busily. The formulas he was writing I had already committed to memory. Something about slope and y intercepts on a graph. I knew these things from Algebra I back in eighth grade, so I figured this was just a review for those who weren't so great at it.
Math had never been my thing. When I was in second grade, I failed, not being able to subtract numbers. It was a typical problem, but my mother helped me to overcome it. Ever since then, I was really never into math. I struggled through my Algebra I class with a low B. Amazing, actually.
Graphs. Now graphs were my enemies, and I hadn't the slightest idea why these formulas weren't giving me a hard time. I guess it was just all math, until we started doing the plotting. That was going to be my downfall, I swear.
I sighed and looked over at Kairi who was busy copying down the notes and the equations on the board. She looked so studious, and unfazed by Friday night. Maybe the kiss hadn't been that big of a deal for her. I mean, her and Hayner had kissed when they were dating … so I figured a small kiss wouldn't matter much to Kairi.
Then again, to me, I was still desperately trying to figure out why I felt so terrible and violated by it. I shook my head, laughing at my own insecurities as I caught her look my way. She offered a timid smile, to which I responded with one of my own.
I also figured that the quickest way to overcome a dying love, or a love that is as close to dying as one can allow, is to find someone new and fill that hole. Even if that new love was Kairi. I supposed I could learn to love her … but I never saw her of much more than a friend.
Oh I was complicated all right.
Tidus scrunched his nose at the desk beside me, and insisted on tossing a folded note my way. I glanced at him before quickly undoing the flap and opening it. Inside was a fancy writing. Too messy to be a woman's, yet too … neat and creative to be a man's. I arched my eyebrows at it, realizing that it was in fact not from Tidus.
My eyes swarmed across the room until they met with a pair. Naminé's.
I looked back down and started to read.
Sora,
I'm sorry about Friday night. I didn't mean to cause you any discomfort. Tidus seemed worried about you, and I guessed I had said something wrong. I'm sorry. If you don't mind me asking, what mad you so upset?
Naminé
I sighed and quickly wrote back to her.
I'm sorry myself if I made you think I was mad. Just a bit … displaced I guess. Nothing you said really got me upset, just a bit sad? I guess losing my best friend for as long as I can remember got to me, and still does.
I passed it back to Tidus and went back to staring out the window. Her response came just as class was ending.
Oh. I get it. Moving here has been rough on me … leaving my friends and all. If you ever need to talk, feel free to seek me out.
She signed it was a smile, and walked out of the class with me, Tidus following close behind with Kairi. Perhaps I could get through this. What ever this was.
Riku . . . "I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground" . . .
Axel leaned over me, glancing at Roxas in the process. I stared at him, noticing how his eyes traveled along Roxas' body, completely entranced. Roxas was playing DDR, and after much begging and pleading, Axel had managed to slither his way into our afternoon hangout. Roxas didn't like that idea that much, but figured he'd give Axel a shot at being his friend. But at the rate Axel was going, I knew friend was the last thing on his mind for Roxas.
"God he's so hot." Axel cooed, taking a seat beside me on the couch. He kept his voice low as his eyes danced along Roxas' body in beat with the music blaring from the game.
"…I don't judge guys." I scoffed, narrowing my eyes at the red-head. Even if he was looking the other way.
Axel turned his attention back to me, crossing his arms. "…You never told me, how was life back on a remote island? How did you guys /live/ without Dance Dance?" He flicked his gaze to Roxas and then back to me as if to say 'it gives me an excuse to stare at him and his rather enticing ass'.
"We actually did things other than this game." I retorted innocently, "S-… my friend and I used to play games all the time." I corrected myself, biting my bottom lip.
"Ss?" Axel hummed, arching his fiery eyebrows in curiosity.
"Ss what?" I countered, blinking at him as the song's beat increased.
"You were about to say his name." He grinned, "Which I don't know why you don't… I mean, he was your best friend, right?"
"Forget it." I replied in a grumble as Roxas finished and looked back at us.
"Would you two stop with your male on male relationship fantasies and actually participate?" Roxas questioned, sweat falling from his face.
Oh god …
I looked to Axel who was bearing a smug smirk as he arose from his seat. He made his way over and slide his lanky arms around Roxas' girlish waist. He leaned down and breathed huskily into the sweaty boy's ear. "How can I when I have you all sweaty and gorgeous in front of me?"
I smacked my forehead with my hand. "Axel you're a pervert." I hissed.
"Get off me." Roxas demanded but Axel's grip tightened.
"Come on, blondie." Axel said, messing with a strand of Roxas' hair. "You don't have to be so uptight. Not like I'm molesting you or anything."
"Pretty close to it." Roxas scoffed, trying to wiggle free. But of course, Axel denied Roxas of that, again.
"I'm going to my room." I muttered, exchanging glances with Axel.
"You're just jealous, Riku." Axel chortled and nuzzled his chin against Roxas' shoulder.
"Am not." I breathed back and marched to my room in a flurry.
"What's up with him?" Roxas dared, blinking.
"I think he's suffering from a little something called love." Axel sang, singy songy as he pecked Roxas' cheek. Roxas groaned and wiggled out of Axel's grasp and collapsed on the couch, wiping vigorously at his cheek.
cookies to those who can guess what song came on at homecoming... i bet you can't guess what song it is : D . . . maybe you won't guess it right after all.