Sick Cycle
It was the morning after Riku had come back … Kairi and myself were sitting at the small lunch-room table in the morning. You see, we have a small twenty minute break before our class. Just to allow buses time to get here and whatnot. If you ask me, it's just an excuse to socialize. Or to stare at godly silver-haired jerks.
"He's ignoring you?"
Astonishment and yet guilty pleasure were amongst the first things I detected in Kairi's voice. The next being triumphant. A groan habitually fell from my lips, I gave her a hasty nod. I'm not sure why she needed clarification. The proof that he was ignoring me was right in front of us.
There was Riku, sitting amongst the 'popular' group. He was between Vincent and Reno (and Selphie who was looming around) with this indescribable look on his face. I'm sure that if you gave me an eternity I wouldn't be able to figure out what he was thinking nor feeling. Riku's silver hair gleamed in the dull lunch-room lights, making him quite conspicuous. It was like he wanted me to see how he frolicked with his new friends.
My stomach twisted and churned as I sat there beside Kairi. It wasn't until her fingers clasped my shoulder that I remembered that we were, in fact, at school. "Don't worry about it, Sora," Kairi told me, a consoling smile materializing on her thin lips. "He's a jerk, anyhow."
Wasn't that what best friends usually told each other when a boy rejected their proposal to date? Hearing that from Kairi didn't make me feel any better. In fact, I think it made me feel worse. Without a word, I gave her another nod, not really in the mood to speak.
"Sora, don't worry about someone like him," I heard Hayner say from Kairi's other side.
My sapphire hues at once tore themselves away from the floor to look over at Kairi's boyfriend. A slight shrug was my only answer. Hayner frowned at this, obviously not enjoying my answer. Therefore, I felt compelled to answer him - this time, verbally. "I'm over it. He's never going to talk to me. He grew out of me. He's a jerk." My voice sounded believable .. But my heart was screaming otherwise.
"Touché," Tidus agreed. His buff fingers held his breakfast sandwich tightly, and a bit possessively. And for good reason. Wakka was sitting beside him, eying the food with growing interest (if you hadn't caught on by now, Wakka is Tidus' best friend and he loves to mooch off of the blonde).
"I'm sure Riku doesn't hate you, Sora," Naminé interjected quietly, her fingers resting on Tidus' arm.
"Then why don't you ask him?" Kairi asked Naminé, her voice treading on the brink of a snap.
"Kairi, it's not fair to ask Naminé-" Hayner tried to interject, reaching for his girlfriend's hand. Kairi, of course, was having one of her best friend moments and snatched her hand out of his grasp. All I saw on Hayner's face was a glare when she pulled away.
"It's not fair to Sora either to not know why your best friend is pointedly ignoring you," Kairi fumed, crossing her arms to her chest. I'm not sure if she did it prove her point, or to keep her hands out of Hayner's reach. Either way, it worked.
"I asked him already," Naminé whispered uncertainly. "He…didn't give me an answer. He changed the topic quickly," she explained before sighing heavily.
"So he hates me." I concluded. There was no hint of question in my voice. Just sudden realization. Maybe I did upset Riku, and now I was paying the price. Perhaps, somehow, he figured out I liked him?… But how could he? I only told Kairi and that was a few days ago, a week at most. He's been refusing to contact me prior to that.
"Hate's such a strong word, Sora." Naminé said reticently. Did she know something that proved that Riku didn't hate me? Or was she just trying to stay positive?
"Well, I hate him." Kairi concluded, putting in her two cents worth.
"We're aware of that, babe." Hayner laughed apprehensively, sliding his arm around Kairi's shoulders. In the end, she exhaled loudly in defeat and accepted her boyfriend's embrace. Her body leaned towards him until her red-haired head rested securely on his shoulders.
"Maybe he's shy?" Tidus chuckled, throwing a glance over his shoulder at Riku's table.
"I doubt that." I argued, leaning my forehead into my splayed hands. I felt a headache coming on, for certain.
"Why don't you just go up to him?" Naminé suggested meekly, her artistic blue eyes meeting my brighter ones. A smile appeared on her face, hoping that I took her suggestion to heart and went through with it.
"I…I couldn't do it," I admitted, a light color spreading my cheeks. Not out of my love for Riku, but out of my embarrassment. I just admitted to my friends that I afraid of talking to Riku. I must look like a coward.
"He's never mentioned hating you, Sora," Naminé pointed out. "He's never really … mentioned you at all. Not even when we were at Traverse Town. It's a bit odd … in a way." She shrugged and looked at Tidus with a frown. "You've got cheese on your chin," she said quietly as a giggle ensued.
Tidus quickly swatted the cheese away and blushed, whispering his gratitude to his girlfriend.
I suddenly felt so lonely. Everyone at this table had an other half. Naminé had Tidus, Hayner had Kairi, and Wakka was dating some girl that I didn't know. Was I a … freak? Maybe I was… maybe that's why Riku won't talk to me. Maybe he thinks I'm an immature child. Maybe he doesn't want to spend his time on me.
If I were him .. I wouldn't either.
It went without saying that throughout my entire math class I sneaked looks at him over my shoulder. Every time I looked at him, he became more beautiful - if that's even possible. Perhaps it was because I was observing him more. His face was even more flawless than it had been when he left, his hair looked a lot neater and shinier, and his eyes were as gorgeous and standoutish as I remembered. I'd comment on his overall frame … but that'd be a bit embarrassing.
For some reason, my math teacher had left the room, leaving the room unattended. Some senior began talking loudly to the class, but no one really listened to him. You must be pretty scatter-brained to be a senior and have algebra II.
Without realizing what I was doing, I had made my way over to Naminé's desk. For some reason the knowledge that Riku was sitting a desk behind didn't register right away.
"Hey," I said quietly, standing next to her.
Her eyes glanced off her notebook (she was doodling over her notes, as usual) and up at me. A bright smile appeared on her face. "Hey, Sora," she replied, a bit surprised that I had been the one to approach her and not her boyfriend. Well … Tidus was sleeping a few rows over … so that's probably why he wasn't over here, greedily absorbing this extra time.
"Do you get this stuff at all?" I asked, motioning to the Absolute Value Formulas with disdain.
"Yeah," she answered and took her pencil and poked at the page. "You have to split the term into two equations and then solve for your variable. You always have two answers for Absolute Value," she explained simply.
"Why do you split it?" I was so intelligent.
"Because," She tapped the brackets surrounding the equation. "The equation in those can either equal a positive twenty five or a negative twenty five. So you have to solve the problem and get a negative twenty five or a positive. Why? Because the absolute value brackets automatically turn what's inside positive."
"Oh," I answered sheepishly. "I...get it now, thanks."
"No problem," she answered kindly and then blinked. Somehow, she motioned over her shoulder to Riku who was behind her. "You gonna say something to him?" she whispered, just loud enough for me to hear.
I tensed. That's… right… Riku was behind me. I gulped and felt my whole body freeze. "N-no," I stammered, feeling like his gaze was drilling holes through my body. That was if he was even looking at me.
"You can't get results if you don't try." Naminé said in a negligible voice, figuring that I wasn't going to listen to her. There was a pause as silence won over the classroom. "Sora, stay after school today. I have an idea," Naminé whispered up into my ear.
"Why?" I questioned. What was there to stay for?
"Just do it, okay?" She smiled. "I'll explain after class." And then she shooed me back to her seat, blushing as a few people stared at her. Before anyone could ask her anything, she went back to drawing. Tidus glared at the upperclassmen who were giving her peculiar looks. At once, they looked away. Not exactly intimated, but not wanting to waste their time on a freshman girl.
I'm not sure why I did it, but somehow during my Science class I had written a long note to Riku. I, of course, would never give it to him because I'd be afraid of the outcome. Writing just relieved my stress. Though, I couldn't help but let a few tears of frustrated love leak from the corner of my eyes as I wrote it. Thankfully, I was in the back and no one saw.
The note? Well, that read this…
Dear Riku…
Hey…um, it's been awhile hasn't it? How was Traverse Town? Naminé tells me it's nice there and a lot different than here. I guess any place can be better than this. Heh. So...how are you?
I…wanted to ask you a few things. I'm probably acting paranoid or something weird like that but are you ignoring me? If you are, why? I'm sorry for accusing you of this if you're not! I just, kind of wanted to know why you haven't spoken to me.
(This was the part when I realized that I was not going to give it to him at all…so I might as well get out my feelings)
I know I never told you this, and god I'm such a coward for holding it in, but I think that our friendship ended a long time ago. I mean, you were my best friend, yeah. But I… kind of saw you as more than just a friend.
I hate when people beat around the bush so I'm just going to come out and write it. I like you. I've liked you for a few years now, and you leaving and not calling almost killed me. And now you not speaking to me, not even uttering a hello…it's tearing me apart, Riku.
I know you're probably going to laugh at this letter, or even throw it away…perhaps you won't even read it…but I do like you.
And now, if you have read that last part, you'll call me a fag like everyone else will if this gets out. It's not that I look at other guys…or girls for that matter. The only person outside of Kairi I've ever liked is you, Riku. And what…I feel about you…I never felt it about Kairi.
Is this what it feels like to be in an unrequited love?
Can we please be friends again?…I missed you.
Sora
Labelling it as the most heart-wrenching letter I'd ever had the misfortune to write in my life, I crumbled it up and stuffed it in the darkest crevices of my binder, never to be seen again. I couldn't give Riku something like that! He'd just hate me more if I did that! If he wanted to speak to me, he would! Right? Why do I feel like that I'm just setting myself up for doom?
Lunch went by quietly.
Riku still sat with us. Why he didn't sit with his new friends, I'm not sure. Kairi sent him death-glares the entire time while we all ate in silence. If we did speak, it was amongst one another. Naminé quietly chatted with Riku, obviously concerned that he might feel left out. And God, I hope he did feel left out. I hope that maybe he felt the pain of being ignored by people you thought were your friends.
Of course, my mind was elsewhere.
Naminé had suggested to me a brilliant plan. She informed me that Riku was staying after to go to theatre with her. Apparently a few other 'previously Traverse Town' students were going as well, and that the pair were going to catch up with them. Any way, Naminé told me that she'd ask Riku if he could go buy her a drink from the vending machine. In that time, I would confront him.
It seemed good, right?…
I just hoped that I didn't chicken out.
I wanted this torment to end. I really did.
Besides, I hadn't eaten a decent meal for a few days now because of him. If he didn't return my feelings, that's just great, but I didn't want to lose sleep over a friendship that shouldn't have ended. Why did it end?!
"You really going through with this?"
Kairi leaned against the locker beside me as her eyes watched me pack my bag. Worry was drenched in those eyes. Maybe she thought I'd break down and embarrass myself. I didn't doubt that at all. It sounded like something I'd do, after all. Either way, I glanced at her after having shoved my Algebra book and my English one into my bag. (English, by the way, was uneventful. Riku was moved to a seat across the room…I wasn't sure whether to be elated or disappointed…).
"Kairi…I need to know why he won't speak to me," I drawled, trying to gather courage.
"I could always harass him?" she suggested with a forced, meek smile.
"That's fine, Kairi. I…have to do it myself. I don't want anyone else fighting my battles anymore," I murmured as I slammed my locker shut. The sound echoed and it hurt my head. I was just over sensitive today.
"You're actually speaking him after a year of neglect?…Sora, you're a complex person," she sighed aloud and shook her head in dismay.
"Kairi…"
"I just don't want you to get hurt anymore by that prick. I thought he was our friend, but he obviously isn't anymore. I don't want you to get your hopes up, Sora. He's changed. It's obvious."
"I have to give it a shot," I refuted, slinging my bag over my shoulder.
"You still love him?" Kairi asked in a whisper, so quiet that I barely caught it.
It hurt to hear her say that. "I do." But it hurt even more to admit it myself. Even if it was painfully obvious.
"Then good luck," Kairi murmured, grabbing her bag that was resting by her feet. Without another word, she ran off to catch up with Hayner.
Why couldn't I have a love like Kairi and Hayner? Or like Tidus and Naminé?
What was so bad about me?
If I were to count the times that I broke down and cried over the song Far Away, it'd need twenty more hands. It was that many times. Lately the song had been a hit. Apparently it was released the same day that Riku came home. If that isn't a cruel, messed up form of irony, I don't know what is.
I haven't heard 'What About Now' for a few months now. I don't have the heart to listen to it. It'd probably put me in more tears than Far Away. Just because me and Riku were happy then. God, why did things have to end this bitterly?
Naminé told me to wait in the stairwell at the bottom. She said that Riku would be done in ten minutes, tops, and that this would be the only chance that I had to confront him. So she left, hurrying up to theatre. My body shook and I felt tears begin to fall from my eyes. I was glad I was alone there. I was a complete mess.
Boys aren't supposed to cry. Boys are supposed to love girls.
Where did I go wrong?
Murmuring something incoherent under my breath, I stared at the door by the base of the stairwell. These would be the last few moments before I finally talked to Riku. Before I finally put this to an end. I…wasn't quite sure what I'd say to him. Or how much I'd say. Telling him about my infatuation seemed like a pointless and stupid idea. Why would I put myself in that compromising situation just to be shot down? It was like playing with matches. You know that you're gonna torch your house up, but you do it anyway. You watch your world smolder and burn and turn to ashes before your eyes and under your hand.
I knew it was wrong to love Riku. I knew it was stupid to keep loving him as he continued to hurt me. I don't need someone telling me that. I know that. But my heart bleeds when I think about it. It hurts so badly. They say you never forget your first love … I agree with them, whoever they are.
That was when I heard footsteps.
There they went, down the first flight of stairs. There they were, turning the corner.
And that was when my blue eyes locked with his aquamarine for the first time in almost a year.
He stopped dead in his tracks, halfway down the steps. Pale and yet skillful fingers lingered on the railing as he surveyed me, not saying one word.
I fought back the urge to cry. Just looking at him tore at something in me. My lip quivered as I tried to form a word. I was suddenly rendered mute. Those beautiful sea-green eyes continued to look at me, never looking at anything else but me. I wasn't sure to whether to be afraid or not.
He hesitated before taking a step backwards, up the stairs.
That single step jolted me back into reality.
"Riku," I whispered in a strained voice, not having intended to sound so weak and distraught.
He took another step backwards and I just lost it. "Damn it, no!" I never swore. Only in my thoughts. I never swore out loud. I don't like to swear. The words have no interest to me. But I just had to. The words seemed so foreign on my lips, like I really shouldn't be saying them. I half expected someone to come and punish me. When no one came, I realized that Riku was still on the stairs, frozen to the spot.
This time he walked down the stairs. False hope sparked in my chest, but he just brushed right past me. Instinctively, I latched onto his arm, refusing his departure. I wasn't going to be silenced, even if I lost all my dignity.
"What do you want?" Riku nearly hissed at me, voice frigid. But something about the way he said that… something sounded forced. Something sounded fake…
I wasn't sure why, but suddenly a plethora of words entered my mind and left through my lips. "Why are you ignoring me?! Why haven't you even said 'hi' to me? Am I not good enough to be your friend, Riku? Is that why you haven't even looked at me? Is that why you're trying to run from me? Why do you hate me, Riku?! What did I do wrong?! Please…tell me what I did wrong," my words turned to whimpers at the end.
He didn't answer, just tried to pull away, eyes refusing to meet mine. A silent refusal.
"I'm tired of not knowing, Riku! I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay!" My voice sounded so frail and pathetic…I was surprised that he didn't start laughing.
"Why did you even leave? Your parents weren't making you. You moved in with your uncle and aunt! Why did you leave?" I needed answers. My mind was dying inside from not knowing.
"And why did you even come back?" I demanded, this time a bit quieter.
Something lit on fire in Riku's eyes as he snapped his head up, aquamarine eyes glaring at me with something I had never seen before. Was he…mad at me? Without warning, he began hollering. "You want to know why I left, Sora? You want to know why I left this place and all my friends? You honestly want to know why I refused to date anyone while I was gone? Do you really want to know why I left?"
I shivered, so afraid that he'd hurt me.
"I left because I was falling in love with you and I couldn't do anything about it!"
All fell silent and I didn't process the words right away.
"And I came back because I couldn't stand not being able to see you. I came back because I missed you. And now I'm being put through torture because I can't get myself to say a word to you because I'm afraid that I'll slip and tell you that I'm madly in love with you and you're too dense and straight to even give a fuck."
He tore away from me and began charging towards the stairs.
Riku…he….
"S-stupid…" I stammered.
Apparently the stammer caught his ears because he stopped on the bottom stair to listen to my response. All fell silent except for my snivels.
"You have…no idea…what you…put me through when you left…I couldn't think, sleep, eat! You jerk. Y-you're so stupid/" I slurred and he turned around and began approaching me, looking quite…angry, maybe?
I backed up unwillingly, my back hitting the wall. I shivered and looked at him as he stood inches in front of me, our chests touching. Was he going to hit me? Kill me?
"I loved you," I whispered, tears free-falling from my sapphire eyes as I stood there, trembling. I then proceeded to correct myself, "I love you…and it hurts me so much, Riku."
I watched as his aquamarine eyes widened to triple their size. His lips ghosted words I couldn't make out. Maybe he was lying after all. Maybe he just said that to guilt me into spilling my feelings. He had just said he … loved me…and he had been joking?
"Fuck," he swore quite vulgarly. I was about to question it but I was rendered unable to speak.
His lips suddenly covered mine.
Something in me exploded. My heart, perhaps. Millions of thoughts came shooting through my mind. He loves you. He left because he was afraid that he loved you. He loves you and was afraid you didn't feel the same. He loves you. My hands shakily reached upwards, encircling his neck and pulling him closer. My shaky fingers dove into his soft silver hair, memorizing the touch. It was a lot softer than I had remembered.
Feverish lips clasped over mine over and over, quickly and passionately. His arms had somehow ended up pressed against the wall on either side of me as he leaned against me, claiming my lips against his. Hungrily, he began to nip at my bottom lip.
I…had never been kissed before…and Riku was kissing me.
"I've wanted," Riku grunted between sloppy kisses, his right hand falling from the wall. Somehow, it ended up between our bodies and began slithering along my chest, as if to reassure himself that I was real. "to do this," he continued, his knee rubbing against my lower body far too teasingly "for years." he concluded as he took my moan as an invitation to slip his tongue into my mouth.
Riku was kissing me. Riku had his tongue in my mouth…Riku was….Riku had admitted his love and was making out with me. Didn't this stuff only happen in crappy movies? Then again…I went through enough hell…perhaps I deserved this sudden burst of love?
All I knew for certain was that I wanted more.
"I." My lips meshed against his, my hands falling from his hair to shyly slip around his waist, holding him close to me, surprised that he wasn't appalled by our love. "missed." My fingers slithered their way up the back of his shirt, relishing in the way he arched into my touch, his tongue coaxing my own into a feverish and desperate game. "you." I finished in a slur, unable to speak correctly.
He broke off when he needed air. Deep breaths followed.
Aquamarine eyes searched mine for awhile. "I left because I loved you," he whispered again, refusing to move away.
Never before had I realized that a kiss could even be slightly arousing. God was I wrong. "Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered, tears falling again.
"Sora…I…what were the fucking chances that you liked me?" he asked.
It was true. The odds were against us. It was hard to imagine that this was actually a requited love.
"Why didn't you even call me?" I begged, trying to sound strong when I wasn't. True, Riku may love me (hopefully that wasn't a lie…) but I was still beyond angry at him. He had gone six months without communicating with me. For all I knew, he could have been dead. He could have at least said 'hello' when he got back. But no, nothing. Was he afraid of slipping up?
"You never caught on to my flirting," Riku groaned, trying to catch his breath completely. "And I knew that If I heard your voice I'd say something that even you would catch on to," he mumbled, glancing off to the side.
"Riku…you ignored me…you hurt me so badly." I whispered painfully, loving how he didn't move away from me. My arms shook, but their placement calmed me. They were around Riku. My Riku.
"…I suppose I don't deserve your forgiveness," he admitted with a shrug, his aquamarine eyes searching my sapphire. "You just don't get why I did what I did. And now I look like a total ass."
"A text every now and then would have been helpful," I mumbled stubbornly.
"Damn Sora, I'm sorry, okay?" Aquamarine eyes pleaded with me, nearly begging for my forgiveness. "I never meant to make you think I hated you. I just left because I didn't want to burden you with knowing that I loved you."
"You're such a moron," I groaned, forehead pressing against his. "You should have just told me. We're friends. I would have understood and I would have…er…probably…kissed you." I slurred, thinking back to how desperately I wanted to be with Riku.
"Oh…" Riku looked to the side, a bit embarrassed. "I'm not expecting you to forgive me…but can we at least be friends again?"
"Riku…" I whispered quietly. He looked so distraught, so downright confused. Maybe this had been hard on him as well? It hurt so much that it was hard to forgive him for having given me the cold-shoulder. Maybe in time I would forgive him? What am I saying...I'm a total sap and gullible…and loads of other things. Riku loves me, right?
"I missed you." I slurred again, giving him a not-so obvious answer.
"I missed you too." Riku admitted and sighed peacefully, his eyes now lidded. "…what are we gonna do?"
Sudden realization that if we openly displayed our love that we'd be the subject of ridicule and on the receiving end of punches. "Riku…I don't know." It seemed surreal. It didn't seem real that he loved me.
"How's about," Riku's hand reached down and found mind before standing up straight, allowing me room to do the same, "we date, but exclusively? Would that be all right with you? Or do you hate my guts?"
"You…want to date me?" I squeaked, utterly surprised.
"You're the reason I came back, idiot." he teased, fingers shaking against my own. "This doesn't seem real, you know? It feels like a dream…I thought if I ever came back you'd never speak to me again. This…is a surprise. A pleasant surprise, nonetheless."
"I forgive you," I replied sheepishly, glad that this was after school and that people wouldn't see us. "…It hurts, but you're still Riku and I missed you and stuff…you're just gonna have to make up for what you did." I stuck my tongue out childishly at him.
Riku laughed at that.
"We'll figure out a plan tomorrow. Riku told me with a smile, raising his free hand. The silver-haired male then proceeded to run it tediously through my hair, earning a soft sigh from myself. "I should have never left."
"Duh."
There's more chapters, don't fret. There are kinks to work out and yes, Akuroku-nesss.
And now it's story time. (it's long … but I think it explains a few things…)
Once upon a time a girl named Caitlin crushed on this adorable boy named Brandon. They were in the fifth grade. They talked non-stop and were in 'puppy-love' if you will. Caitlin, you see, remembers their fifth grade trip to the Boston Museum of Science. On the ride there, when the bus entered Boston, she jumped over into Brandon's seat to look out his window at all the tall buildings. Neither of them had ever really been in a city that big before. Caitlin cherished that moment with everything she had.
That summer they talked nonstop and flirted and other childish things.
Eventually, in seventh grade, they ended up dating after Caitlin broke up with a jock named Dante… (she never really stopped liking Brandon). Any way, they dated. On a theatre trip, Caitlin and Brandon sat next to each other. On the bus-ride there, Brandon made Caitlin listen to his Lonestar CD. The song? What About Now. As they rode down the highway on that yellow-bus, she listened to the song and smiled. It was forever etched in her mind.
That summer … Brandon called Caitlin one day. That day Caitlin had her best friend, Nicole, over. Brandon started the conversation casually … and then he dumped the news on her. He was moving to Washington for a few months. He said he'd be back by Christmas. Caitlin acted tough and pretended it didn't bother her. When she hung up, she dropped the phone. Nicole looked at her, quite concerned. Caitlin began to shake and sob hysterically. That night, she bought the Nickelback CD and found the song Far Away…things weren't the same after that.
Love hurt.
Caitlin, being the immature girl she was back then, refused to see Brandon before he left. It would hurt too much and she was far too shy to see her boyfriend outside of school.
Brandon wasn't gone until Christmas. He was gone for an entire year. Brandon changed when he was gone. Caitlin, immaturely again, broke up with him after a few months when she met a boy named Alan. It was a mistake to date him. She was still in love with Brandon. And he told her to move on and whatnot, but it was too hard. Love just didn't fade.
During the fall (one year after Brandon left), Caitlin was riding in her car with her mother back. Caitlin was flipping through the radio when she came upon something that sounded too familiar. It was, undeniably, Far Away.
Caitlin broke down in the car. Her heart bled. She couldn't stand to be away from Brandon. It hurt to imagine his face… his voice …
Come to find out, Brandon had come back the exact same day. Ironic, no? Well, Brandon called Caitlin. They talked and found out they had English and Math together. Well…the very next day at school…Brandon was there and he pointedly ignored Caitlin.
Caitlin was devastated, uncertain what she did wrong. Hadn't they spoken on the phone the night before?…
She tried to talk to him but he kept walking away and refused to read her notes.
After a few months of tireless anguish, Brandon eventually talked to Caitlin after much heartache on Caitlin's part. He said he wanted to be 'friends' and that he had moved on and whatnot.
Things…weren't ever really the same.
As you can see, this story, Sick Cycle, was based off that tragic tale. However, it was altered to supply a better ending and more plot progression for Riku and Sora. Caitlin regretfully still breaks down over Far Away and What About Now. In fact, she's found herself crying a few times whilst reading this.
Basically, this whole story's been a pathetic attempt at healing for her. It… just didn't work. She's still in love with the boy. I'm still in love with him and the only good thing I got out of it was a bitter understanding of unrequited love and a tragic story idea.
The world's cruel, eh?
Anyway … review? Puh-lease?