"So what is the situation?" Chase wanted to know as House got back to the department of Diagnostics.
"They want to appoint Sheridan as the Assistant Head till Cuddy goes on maternity leave," House explained.
"That doesn't sound very good," Cameron frowned. "That's like telling her to teach her job to him and then step aside and let him take over – probably for good!"
"I believe that is the idea," House agreed. "But as Sheridan's assistant is a Ms. Forbes, can you wonder?"
"You mean she got the job for her boss because of ... Why?" Foreman wondered.
"Miss Hill suspects that she is sleeping with him," House said. "And I have to say I got some serious vibes from him when I made a mild pass at Ms. Forbes."
"He could have been just protective," Chase pointed out. "You know, like you are with Miss Tanaka."
"Kasumii is an infant," House dismissed the idea. "She needs someone to look after her. Ms. Forbes is a shark. Besides, the vibes I got were most definitely not Platonic."
"So what is the plan?" Foreman queried. "If Ms. Forbes is having an affair with the married Mr. Rawls, then I suppose her father will be more than willing to kick him to the curb for messing with his daughter – no matter how anyone else might view the situation."
"That would be my guess," House nodded. "And should it happen that Janelle can make Daddy Dearest take her side and believe in the star-crossed- lovers crap she probably will try to feed him, I'm fairly sure her father-in-law will not buy it."
"Her father-in-law?" Cameron was puzzled.
"Ms Forbes decided to keep her own name even after her marriage," House paused for a dramatic effect. "To a Mr Taunton."
"She is married to Taunton's son?" Foreman exclaimed.
"Yep," House gloated. "So basically all we have to do is to give them enough rope and then watch them hang themselves! Preferably with some photographic evidence."
"That is good," Chase mused. "And it makes our job pretty easy."
"Not necessarily," Cameron frowned. "They may be discreet."
"Nobody is that discreet," House dismissed. "You certainly weren't."
"Neither I nor Chase were – or are – married," Cameron glared at House. "Rawls and Ms Forbes have much more to loose."
"But not that many places to go," Foreman pointed out. "If you want to be discreet you cannot check into any local hotels or anything. I'm fairly sure their affair so far has been conducted in their office and the occasional business trip. If they believe that nobody suspects them here, they are bound to carry on. We just need to catch them."
"I like the way you think Foreman!" House approved. "It seems I have been able to teach you something after all."
"Too bad it's nothing I really wanted to learn," Foreman observed dryly. "But catching them will still be a problem."
"We have time to figure that one out," House assured him. "Right now we need to be on our best behaviour and let Rawls believe that Cuddy is running a tight and problem-free ship."
"She is running a tight and problem-free ship," Cameron stated.
"True," House nodded. "If you take me out of the equation."
"He has a point," Chase observed. "If House behaves himself, then it's a problem-free ship, but he rarely does, so..."
"But for the next couple of weeks I will," House declared.
"Can you?" Foreman doubted.
"Yes," House promised. "It's important for the family that I do. Besides, I can fortify myself by thinking of all the fun I will have once Cuddy is on maternity leave and I have a free hand with Sheridan."
---------------------------
And indeed the rest of the week was problem free – unless you counted the egging of Sheridan's car. But most of the hospital did not see that as a problem, though everyone did wonder how it had been done and who was behind it. All the usual suspects were accounted for, after all. Or so everybody thought. They did fail to make some connections some might have thought obvious.
That morning Cuddy had felt too fragile to drive to work so she had taken a cab. Due to that she never found out that Sheridan had parked in her space until a security guard came to tell her that her car had been vandalised.
"My car?" Cuddy was puzzled. "How would you know that? I didn't drive here in my car today."
"Well, I'm sorry but one of my men came to tell me that the car on your parking space is covered in eggs. I just assumed it had to be your car."
"He must have meant a car next to my space," Cuddy said getting ready to go out and see the damage.
"Egged you said?" Sheridan – who was sharing Cuddy's office for the moment as the board didn't see the need to assign him an office of his own since he was going to take over from Cuddy anyway. Cuddy was not happy with the situation, but fortunately she found plenty of things to do all over the hospital while Sheridan did all the boring, routine stuff in her office. If any important donors or patients came by, Anna made sure they found Cuddy – where ever she might be.
"You sound worried?" Cuddy turned to Sheridan.
"It must be my car!" He exclaimed.
"In my parking space?" Cuddy asked sharply.
"Well, it's closer to the doors and since you didn't need it today, I was sure you wouldn't mind," Sheridan shrugged – lying through his teeth.
"You arrived before me," Cuddy remarked dryly.
"Did I?" Sheridan frowned. "I was quite sure you were already here when I arrived."
"Well, I don't know whose car it is then, if it isn't Dr Cuddy's," the security guard interrupted them. "But it definitely is covered in broken eggs. It's a real mess."
"Do you know who did it?" Cuddy asked. "Was he caught on security tape?"
"No, he wasn't Ma'am. The cameras sweep by that spot every three minutes and we didn't see anything anywhere on the parking lot. One minute the car was spotless, three minutes later it was covered in eggs."
Cuddy and Sheridan followed the guard to the crime scene and it was a sorry sight indeed. Sheridan's electric blue Mercedes had been spotless only that morning; now forlorn eggshells were scattered all over the car with half-dried yolks and egg white running haphazardly down the sides and windows. It looked like a flock of pigeons had flown over the car bombing it with eggs.
"Well, it rather looks like parking on my spot was not a very good idea today," Cuddy observed as she took in the damage – trying very hard not to laugh out loud. Whoever it was who had got Sheridan had her full approval, she only wished she could have been in on the planning. Her usual suspect was – naturally – House.
However, as the day wore on, all the usual suspects were accounted for. House had been in Wilson's office, with Miss Hill and Wilson, which took him out of the equation. Wilson, naturally, would have given him an alibi for just about anything, but nobody thought Miss Hill would condone childish pranks like the one done to Sheridan. There was just that air about her that made it impossible for one to think she would have stood quietly by while House and Wilson did something like that.
Blythe and Kasumii had been taking Aiko for her daily walk in the park – not that anyone really suspected them, but there was just the slightest possibility that House could have ordered Kasumii to do something like it. But she was taped on another security camera at the time of the incident leaving the hospital premises with Blythe and Grey, too, for the jogging park where they often took Aiko for an outing in her pram.
The ducklings had been having lunch in full view of half the hospital, and though they had been sitting outside, they had not left their table at all until they had finished their lunch and they most definitely had not been out of view during the three minutes when the incident had to have happened. Besides, with all the security cameras that were regularly sweeping the parking lot there was no way anyone would have gotten to the car, thrown the eggs and escaped without being caught in at least one of the cameras! Nobody had been on the parking lot at the appropriate time! And that included trained squirrels, monkeys or remote control toy helicopters. No matter how hard the security tried, they could not come with any suspects or even any clues as to who had done the deed. Of course, Cuddy did have a sneaking suspicion that they weren't trying too hard. Which was sort of heart-warming, but, on the other hand, she really couldn't allow something like this happen in her hospital. Besides, since nobody had any idea who it had been, there was not way of knowing for sure the intended victim had indeed been Sheridan and not her. So all in all she was happy that she had taken a cab that morning and Sheridan had made a "mistake" in his parking.
Of course had the security bothered to make a truly thorough and unbiased search for the perpetrators they might have found out that Dr Cameron had gone to the cafeteria kitchen to get two dozen eggs for a virus culture just that morning. And that she had actually used only three.
Also had they bothered to check the table where Drs Foreman, Chase and Cameron had had lunch they would have found out that though Dr Cuddy's parking space was not visible from it, the security camera that swept that area was. And had they asked other people who were lunching near by at the same time they would have found out that on the time of the egging Dr Chase had been on his mobile phone to someone.
The most important piece of information the investigation missed might have been the fact that though Dr House and Wilson and Miss Hill had been completely truthful about having been in Dr Wilson's office, they had failed to clarify that the office in question was Wilson's new, Dean of Medicine, office, which just happened to be located just about right above Dr Cuddy's parking space.
One other thing the security missed was that when Miss Hill was asked about the incident and the whereabouts of Drs House and Wilson her answer could have been interpreted in at least two ways. When the situation had been explained to her and they asked her if she knew anything about it, her response had been: "Do I look like someone who would cover a childish prank like that?" The security assumed the answer to that question was no, when in fact it ought to have been Hell Yes!
-----------------------------
Later that day the conspirators met in House's office.
"It seems we got away with it," House reported.
"Well I have to say it was a well planned attack," Wilson congratulated his friend.
"Indeed, it was," Miss Hill agreed. "But it would not have worked had not all followed the instructions so well."
"Right you are, Miss Hill," House acknowledged. "Chase, Foreman and Cameron, good reconnoitring. And you got the timing of that camera completely right. Nothing was caught on tape, not even the very last egg hitting the car."
"Thank you," Foreman accepted on all their behalf.
"We were more than happy to help," Chase nodded.
"Absolutely," Cameron agreed. "When I saw that man parking on Cuddy's space, as cool as cucumber, I was truly ready to give him what he deserved. I just hope he learned his lesson."
"If he didn't, we'll just repeat it," Miss Hill pointed out. "Only next time we might try tomatoes. Just for a change, you know."
"Do you think your throwing arm is as good with them as with eggs?" House asked her – letting the ducklings know who actually had done the honours.
"I'm sure, but I think, next time I might be willing to share the fun," Miss Hill smiled.
"Thanks, but I don't know it would work," House declined. "As the window is not quite in the right place, it would be a little awkward for me. My leg would be in the way were I to try and lean out of the window far enough to get a good aim."
"Dr Wilson?" Miss Hill queried.
"I don't know," Wilson shrugged. He had refused this time fearful of someone witnessing the event, but he had been tempted. "I'll have to decide if the opportunity rises again."
"Chicken," House jeered at him, though in good humour.
"I am a head of a department and I will be the temporary Dean of Medicine," Wilson argued. "I do have to maintain some dignity."
"You have House for a friend," Miss Hill observed dryly. "How much dignity do you expect to have?"
"As much as I can keep," Wilson sighed. "Which I know very well isn't much."