As Dr Petra Gilmar walked towards the department of diagnostics she was thinking of the previous day and the grounding she had received from Drs Cameron and Chase. They had told her to be prepared for anything. They had also explained the need for comfortable shoes.
"Once House has a case, you'll be doing a lot of running," Chase had told her. "Being a cripple does not slow him down much. He thinks and speaks on the move and you better keep up with him or you're in trouble. And you better be sure that you hear him but don't trip on the cane."
"Usually we end up running half a step behind him which is why we're known as his ducklings," Cameron had said. "But don't make the mistake of expecting any kind of mothering from him. Well, except where Aiko is concerned."
"I'm not sure I quite understood the situation about the kids," Petra had asked. "He said that Dr Cuddy was the mother of his triplets, but just before that he had also told me that he was almost never Dr Cuddy's favourite person?"
"The official version is that Dr Cuddy wanted a child and House agreed to be the biological father," Chase revealed. "They have categorically stated that there was no affair. I, personally, believe that, though I don't believe that they didn't have sex. But nobody knows for sure – except possibly House's mother. As for their current situation, well, they live in the same house but House has a separate flat in it. And nobody living in that house is talking, so your guess about their situation is as good as anybody's."
"And their relationship has always been complicated," Cameron had added. "Dr Cuddy is the only one we know, at least at work, who can make House do things he doesn't want to, or stop him from doing something. We are sure they are friends though they seem to be arguing all the time and the inappropriate remarks House has made about Dr Cuddy's cleavage and behind are pretty much legendary. He has always implied that they are having wild sex in Cuddy's office, but that is the one thing nobody believes. Even those who believe they are having sex believe Dr Cuddy is too professional to do it there. House, of course, would do anything anywhere."
"He can't be as bad as the stories about him imply!" Petra insisted. "He is a world renowned doctor; the cases he has solved... well I don't need to tell you about them. But if any of the stunts he is told to have pulled are true he would surely have been fired no matter how brilliant he is."
"Well, he was fired by at least four deans," Cameron shrugged. "Dr Cuddy is the first one who can put up with him and, as we told you, the only one who has any control over him. But he is brilliant enough to get away with pretty much anything."
"I haven't heard all the stories about him," Chase inserted. "And I'm sure most of them have got it wrong anyway, but I think you can pretty much believe the picture they paint of him even if you don't believe the individual tales. The picture is wrong, too, but it serves for starters until you get to know him."
"Well, the picture those stories paint isn't very credible," Petra pointed out. "I mean, am I supposed to believe that he hit one of you just because you got the diagnosis right when he had been wrong?"
"He didn't hit me for that," Chase exclaimed earning an incredulous look from Petra. "Yeah, ok, I was the one who realised what was wrong with the patient, but that wasn't why he hit me. He was under a lot of stress, in pain and had troubles with the law and all that, and he just wasn't in the mood to listen to me, but I persisted and he got annoyed, and he hit me."
"Did you press charges?" Petra wanted to know.
"Why would I do that?" Chase wondered. "It was no big deal and it wasn't something he was in the habit of doing."
"So he apologized," Petra asked.
"House! Not in this lifetime," Chase laughed. "No, he doesn't really do apologizing. Though I hear he did apologize to Wilson when he was in the rehab. I understand it was mandatory part of the programme. Wilson was in daze for the rest of the day wondering if he should start watching for the four horsemen."
"House doesn't care for social niceties, which is why we do most of the talking to patients and their families," Cameron explained. "He usually does end up actually seeing the patient at some point, but not always and he does try to avoid it to the best of his ability – which is pretty impressive. He also hates doing his clinic duty, so you will do a lot of it in addition to your own hours."
"That's not right," Petra frowned. "If he is supposed to do clinic duty then he should do it."
"He is your boss, you do what he tells you to do," Chase stated dryly. "If you don't and especially if you rat him to Cuddy over something as trivial as clinic duty he can and will make your life hell. Or then he will make you quit."
"But I have rights!" Petra insisted.
"Not if you want to learn from him," Cameron said gently. "He will drive you like you were his personal slave and you will learn more than you ever did before; anywhere. And you learn things you didn't even think you needed to learn."
"And the cases he takes are worth any aggravation he causes you," Chase told her. "These three years have been the most incredible years of my life and though there are parts of it I don't really like to think back to, I still wouldn't change one second of it all. I learned more about myself, about what it is to be a doctor and what medicine is supposed to be all about than I thought even possible. You have to decide, do you want to learn or do you want to stick to your rights. I'm not saying that you don't have any, but you need to decide what is worth fighting for and what is just not worth the hassle."
"And he hasn't been that bad lately," Cameron comforted Petra. "Ever since Aiko came he has been a lot nicer. That still doesn't make him nice, really, but still, much better than he was before. Of course, just before Aiko he had all that trouble with the law and everything so that was a pretty grim period all in all, but you'll have it a little easier than what we were forced to deal with."
Opening the door to the diagnostics conference room Petra wondered how bad this nicer but still not nice Dr House could be. The stories about him were incredible, but apparently the one she had most disbelieved was actually true, so who knew about the rest of them!
She saw that Dr Cameron was already there but the men were not. Dr Cameron was at the coffee maker getting it ready.
"Morning Gilmar," Cameron smiled at her – one of the things Petra had learned the day before was that they all went by their last name, no titles. "Do you drink coffee?"
"Yes," Petra nodded. "Though I do drink tea, too, occasionally."
"Good," Cameron acknowledged. "The next question is then: how are you at making coffee?"
"I'm told that I make good coffee. Why?" Petra wanted to know.
"Because House rarely makes coffee but he expects to have it any time he wants and it better be good," Cameron explained. "And I know, you're not his secretary, you're not supposed to do things like making coffee or sorting his mail, but in the interest of self-preservation make sure there is coffee. And in the interest of the good of the patients sort his mail. He doesn't read any letters, he doesn't answer consultation requests, he absolutely will not go to any conferences nor will he give any speeches. He doesn't even hunt for interesting cases to solve; we need to do it for him. And again in self-preservation we do."
"That doesn't sound right," Petra frowned.
"We had this conversation yesterday," Cameron reminded her. "You'll learn - if you stick around longer than a week that is."
"The fellowship is for three years, I intend to stick around for the duration," Petra stated.
"That may be your intention," Foreman had just walked in through the door with Chase at his heels. "But plenty of others have had the same and we three are the first ones who have actually done it. Right now, the odds on favourite time is one month. Nobody believes that you will stay longer than two."
"They don't have much faith in me do they," Petra huffed.
"It's not that," Chase said. "It's House they have faith in. Though since you were the only one he interviewed I'm inclined to think he wants to keep you. I just wish I knew why. You don't happen to have a criminal record or something?"
"Of course not," Petra was offended. "What a thing to suggest."
"Well, that's why he hired me," Foreman offered. "Of course it was juvenile, but still, that's what he wanted and I had it so here I am."
"But juvenile records are sealed?" Petra frowned totally confused. "Did you write it in your resume?"
"Heck no," Foreman laughed. "No, I tried to keep it a secret, but House found out. He always does. So if you have any secrets, especially ones you don't want House to know, assume he knows. Just to be on the safe side."
"It could be her looks," Chase mused.
"Right, rub it in, will you," Cameron half snapped at him. "I should never have told you."
"But I can perfectly understand House," Chase exclaimed with a wide-eyed look. "Yours is a stunning ass."
"What?" Petra was starting to think she had wandered into the Mad Hatter's tea party and not the most coveted fellowship in the country.
"House doesn't hire people for the normal reasons," Foreman revealed. "Me, I graduated from Hopkins, I have excellent references but he wanted me for my criminal past. Cameron he hired for her looks, though she, too is highly qualified. Chase here got in because his Dad made a phone call. And those are the reasons he gave us. In truth I think that is only half the story, but what the whole story is, is anybody's guess."
"So you don't think I got this place because of my qualifications?" Petra asked.
"It would be highly unlike him," Chase stated. "Anyway, it won't matter, what the reason was. You're in and it's up to you to make the best of the opportunity you have."
"Ok. So where do I start?" Petra decided that her best plan was just to get on with it.
"You wait," Chase smiled. "House will stroll in sometime just before ten or so, now that Cuddy is not around to intercept him in the lobby and force him to the clinic. Most of the time when we have no patients we sit around and wait. If there has been an interesting case we may write about it, or if you want you can do clinic hours. And of course, when things get desperate we try to find a patient for House."
"This is a hospital," Petra was a little puzzled. "I would have thought there are plenty of patients for him."
"But they have to be interesting," Cameron pointed out. "Something he truly believes nobody else can solve."
"He doesn't really want to work, you see," Foreman explained. "He finds clinic duty boring because most cases there are so simple he can diagnose them in five seconds and one look at the patient."
"Nobody can do that!" Petra exclaimed.
"He does," Cameron sighed, "And sometimes he does it in the waiting room in front of everyone just to annoy Cuddy."
"And yeah, you're right, it's a mad house," Foreman correctly interpreted the expression on Petra's face. "And you can put any meaning you want on those words."
"Anyway, the only patient we have now is Marcus and since he has been diagnosed, we wait for the next one," Chase concluded. "And do make use of this time you have, because once we do have a patient, House can call you up three in the morning and expect you to be ready to work."
"Or he can expect you to work all night and then go on all day, too," Cameron added. "But talking about Marcus, are you..."
"Save it Cameron," Foreman stalled her with a raised hand. "Last night was nice because you restrained yourself, could you go on doing it? Please?"
"Fine, if you're sure," Cameron shrugged a little offended, but not much.
"Last night?" Petra was confused.
"We were baby sitting House's kids," Chase explained. "He had VIP passes to see John Henry Giles and he took Cuddy there. But before she agreed to go she needed to be sure that the kids were properly looked after. And it took five doctors, one highly trained Nanny, one physical therapist and one capable grandmother to convince her that she could leave her children for one evening. She is even worse about them than House was with Aiko at the beginning."
"You baby sit his kids?" Petra wondered. "Is that really part of your duties?"
"No, it's a privilege," Foreman said simply. "We are part of Aiko's family – and now the Trips', too. But you will learn, in time. If you stick around."
Petra was even more confused so she decided to take that statement on trust. This seemed to be a lot different place from any other job – medical or other – than she had ever had before. It was a good thing that she was usually pretty good at rolling with the punches.
True to his team's predictions House strolled into his office some time before ten. He stored his bag in there and then he came to get his coffee.
"Foreman," House didn't even turn to look at him. "Did you speak with your father?"
"Yes, he is coming tomorrow," Foreman answered – barely looking up from his journal.
"Good," House nodded. "Now, Wilson told me that he might have a patient for us, he just needs some last test results to be sure its not cancer. So look lively when he gets here."
And with that he limped back into his office. At the door he turned around and pierced Petra with his incredibly blue eyes: "So you made it here, then. Hmmm. Let's see how long you can stand the pace." With that he closed the door and disappeared into his office.