Serious disclaimer, for once. I am not Libba Bray, or in any way affiliated with Manic Panic or Hot Topic. I hope no one takes offense at any of the emo jokes. It's Kartik's fault, not mine.

"Remind me again why I agreed to this?" Kartik asks, sitting sullenly in front of the bathroom sink.

"Because I'm a very persuasive woman," I reply.

"More like a very stubborn little girl," he mumbles. I tear off a square of foil right next to his head. He jumps at the noise.

"That will be enough of that. May you remind yourself who has the artillery at the moment? You wouldn't want me to accidentally slip, now would you?" I say with my sweetest voice. "Let's get down to business now. First," I reach over him and tug his shirt over his head. "We won't be needing this," I murmur in his ear. I see his reflection in the mirror smirk.

"And I'll be getting my just rewards afterwards for putting up with this, correct?"

I pull a rubber glove on with a snap. "Perhaps," I say trailing my gloved palm over his taut chest. I allow him one kiss, then I pull away with a devious smile. "Unless you end up looking like a clown, of course. I won't sleep with you if you look ridiculous."

He scowls at me. "Then you'd better not mess up, Gemma!"

I smile innocently in return. This unsettles him.

"I mean it! You'd suffer too!"

I laugh. "Kartik, darling, I don't necessarily need you for anything. I have other, ahem, means to go about things. And if I remember correctly, it was you who bought me said means for my birthday last year."

His mouth hangs open in mock surprise. "I bought you it as a joke!"

"Yes, well, the joke's on you now, isn't it?"

I allow him to seethe in silence as I comb his wet hair. I carefully separate a neat section and begin my work. "You'd better not move much, or else I'll mess up," I say, dipping my index and middle fingers into the red dye.

"I'm bored," is all he says in response.

"How can you be bored already? We've only just begun!"

"I don't know. Can't you turn on the radio or take your shirt off or something?"

"What?!"

"A little scenery isn't too much to ask for, is it? Especially now that I won't be getting any for the next two weeks. Or however long it'll take for this crap to wash out," he says grumpily.

"I was only joking, Kartik! You won't look ridiculous and you'll get some soon enough."

"Yes, well you shouldn't touch on something so close to my heart," he says dramatically.

I sigh and dip my fingers into the dye again. "The last time I checked, your heart was nowhere near your-,"

I'm stunned into silence as Kartik reaches around and grabs my breast. He grins up at me maniacally, like a child that thinks they look attractive when they show all their teeth.

"What did you do that for?!"

"Love you," is all he says.

"Well aren't you the most random thing today," I muse quietly. He kicks the cabinet doors underneath the sink.

"I'm still bored."

"You're also immature."

"I am most certainly not immature, Gemma," he says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. I grab a piece of foil and carefully fold it over the section of hair I just finished working on. I set to work on another. I dunk my fingers a few times, watching the thick dye slowly drip off my fingers.

"Kind of looks like blood, doesn't it?" I ask. Kartik shudders.

"You look like you've been performing surgery on me."

I laugh softly. "So, have you decided what sort of doctor you want to be?"

He is silent for a moment. "Yeah, about that… Gemma, I'm changing my major."

"Oh?" I raise my eyebrows at him in the mirror. "Do your parents know about this?" I know how much they want for Kartik to follow in his older brother Amar's footsteps.

"Er, no. They'll kill me if I do."

"So how do you anticipate telling them?" I ask, carefully spreading dye on his glossy black hair.

He shifts uncomfortably and avoids my gaze in the mirror. "Well, that's the fly in the ointment." I raise my brows at the odd metaphor. "I'm not gonna tell them. I was sort of hoping you would?"

"You're joking, I hope."

"No."

"I won't do it."

"Why not? Gemma, they won't mind if you tell them! They love you! My mother even told me that if we ever broke up, she and my father were going to disown me and adopt you! I mean, she was kidding, but still!"

He goes to turn and look at me, making me drop the hair I was saturating. "Kartik, watch it! You're going to make me fuck up!"

"Sorry," he says softly, turning back around. He folds his arms over his chest in resignation.

I gaze at him for a moment, trying to place his expression. "You're really upset, aren't you?"

"No," he says stubbornly. I sigh and place another piece of foil into his hair. I kneel next to him and rest my elbows on his thigh.

"What is it that you want to switch to?" I ask. A drop of water falls from a few strands of hair onto his collarbone and I'm hit with the sudden urge to ravish him. I've forgotten how lucky I am to have a boyfriend like him. He's so…delicious looking.

"Gem?"

"Huh?" I blink a few times, clearing away a fantasy involving myself taking his jeans off with my teeth, something I've always wanted to try, but never have.

"You were looking as if you wanted to eat me." He has a sly look on his face, as if he wouldn't have minded if I tried.

"Oh, it's nothing. What did you say you want to major in?" I ask, a bit flustered from being caught fantasizing about him.

"I didn't say. I'm actually not quite sure what I want to do with my life." He reaches out a hand and strokes my cheek. "Except that I always want to be with you."

I smile and kiss his palm. "So a pre-med major is completely off the mark?"

He lets his hand drop back to his lap and I stand to resume dying his hair. "Amar succeeds in that field. Even if I continued, I could never live up to the standards I've been placed against. It's not my thing. I want to do something I'm good at."

"Well, I think your best plan of action would be to think of something you really want to do and then talk to your parents. You'll be fine. Just don't lose your temper."

A glob of red dye accidentally falls from between my fingers and lands on Kartik's back. He gasps. "Jesus that's cold!"

"Sorry!" I try to wipe it off, succeeding only in spreading it further. I wet a washcloth and scrub at it. No luck.

"Is it off?" he asks.

"Erm, not quite," I respond. "It seems that the dye works quicker than I thought."

"So I have red skin now?"

"Essentially…yes."

"Well fix it!"

"I'm trying!" I pull off my rubber gloves and grab the hand soap from the sink. The dye still stays. "I have an idea," I muse as I push his legs out of the way and rummage under the sink. I emerge with a spray bottle of Scrubbing Bubbles. "If this doesn't work, nothing will," I say, aiming the bottle at him like a gun.

He furrows his brows. "Won't that poison me or something?"

"Let's hope not." I spray white foam across his angry looking red skin and resume agitating it even more. Finally, the dye comes off. "It worked!"

"It stings," he mumbles.

"Now I know why parents give their kids candy to shut up in public. I have half a mind to shove a Twinkie in your mouth."

"Woah," Kartik says, holding up a hand in protest. "Hold on a minute. Those are phallic symbols and I am in no way interested in having them shoved into my mouth."

"You're so full of yourself. I've seen you eat Twinkies two at a time, so shut up and let me finish in peace."

Kartik grabs the bottle of hair dye from the sink and examines it intently. "Vampire Red. Well that's original. So is my hair going to be bright red? Or the deep blood red hues of my tortured soul?"

How he manages to say that with a straight face is beyond me. "Okay, Mr. Emo, the dye will give your hair a highlight effect, since it's not bleached. So deep blood red hues of your tortured soul it is. Does that please you?"

Kartik flicks some hair over his left eye and develops a sullen look. "Nothing pleases me. The world is cruel. Yet beautiful. Beautiful like a rose bleeding on the virgin snow in December. And cruel like the tightness of my size 6 junior girl's jeans riding up in the crotch."

I cover my mouth with the back of my hand to prevent from laughing. My shoulders shake with the effort. Kartik breaks out into a grin. "Honestly, Gemma, I'm actually quite emo. The Manic Panic is only the first step. Soon enough, I'll be listening to Evanescence, wearing 4 gauge earrings, loitering at the arcade at the mall, and wearing your clothing. Artfully ripped and pinned, of course."

That sets me off. I double over laughing. "The – thing – is," I try to say while simultaneously laughing and gasping for breath. "I can – actually – PICTURE – you doing that!"

He shrugs nonchalantly. "It is only my destiny, after all." He looks into the mirror and sizes up his reflection, complete with hair in his eyes and foil sticking out. "My god, I look like a prick," he exhales.

"Just a few more highlights and we'll call it a day, okay?" I wipe the tears from my eyes and start a new section. "Then you have to let it set and we'll wash it out."

"And I will look sexy and we can have a good romp."

"You already look sexy," I say, kissing his cheek.

"Of course I do," he responds smugly.

"Especially with foil sticking up at odd angles."

"I deliver a clear reception to TVs with no cable. Therefore I am sexy. And beneficial to society."

"So why don't you tell your parents that you're dropping out of school to fulfill your dream as a life-sized TV antenna?"

Kartik shakes his head. "No, my dream is to become emo, Gemma. The antenna thing will be a hobby. And I'll accumulate so many piercings and chained wallets that I'll be that more receptive to radio waves."

"You're absolutely ridiculous, Kartik," I say, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. "I love you."

"Even if I'm potentially emo?"

"Yes. I'll love you even if you become emo, provided you don't artfully rip my Seven jeans. They cost more than your future 4 gauge earrings ever will."

"Well hot damn! We can go on dates to Hot Topic. It'll be oh so romantic, Gemma!"

"But wait, we can't be Gemma and Kartik anymore! We'll need new names, to express our…undying sorrow."

"You read my mind, dearest," Kartik says. "From this point forward, we shall be…Piper and Shade."

I nod in agreement. Kartik dips his finger into the red dye and spreads it across his wrist, then mine. "From this point forward, we shall be lame and utterly laughed at individuals. But that's what is important. That we're unique. And individual. Which is why we, and everyone else like us, shop at Hot Topic and buy the same clothes, artfully torn and pinned, of course, and use the same layouts for our Myspaces."

I toss my hair over my shoulder. "Okay, the joke is old now."

He laughs. "Can I dye your hair?"

"It's already red, Kartik."

He pulls me onto his lap and kisses me with vigor. "My name," he says gruffly. "is Shade."

I don't know about you, but I need a boyfriend like Kartik/Shade RIGHT NOW. Grrr. And if any boys read this, you probably are thinking the same about Gemma/Piper.

Next chapter will hopefully have more sweet drunk action, because it's REALLY fun to write. And because all proper college students are drunk at least once a week.

Spence! At the Disco,
LunaEquus

PS: Ahahahahahahahahahaha!!! That was clever!