This time, Alice hit the ground hard. Groaning, she sat up and rubbed her head, glancing about her. She lay on a brown-green lawn, and, in the middle of the area, was a long table with gaudy chairs around it. China decorated the table in quiet array, all empty.

She felt White Rabbit step up beside her and quiver fearfully. Looking up, she asked, "What's wrong?"
"We're-we're-we're at the wrong place…" Snapping out of his terrified shock, he spun, "We need to get out of here! Now!"

He ran towards the edge of the clearing, but just about when he was to pass into the trees, a cleaver flashed out and buried itself right in front of his nose. White Rabbit froze.

A gray figure stalked out of the trees.

Large gray ears laid back in an aggressive manner, March Hare could easily be a changed-for-the-worse character in any story. A dark helmet with no eyes holes covered his upper head, and a metal visor with a mouth cut out sneered out, "Hello, cousin," A breastplate covered his upper chest, and a series of cloths wrapped around the rest of his abdomen. He wore an armored skirt with knee-high boots underneath, contrasting sharply with the chain mail coverings. Short white sleeves spanned down the arm till the elbow, than cut off the reveal gray fur for about five inches before a metal glove covered the rest of the hand. In his hand was gripped another cleaver, a smooth square of sharpened metal identical to the one quivering by White Rabbit's head.

White Rabbit stepped back, shivering violently. Drawing a sword out of his cane, he hissed, "March, I'm not here to fight. Just let me leave and-"

"Oh no, White… Me and Hatter there been just a little lonely the past few hours. And it's almost tea time. Wouldn't you like to stay?"

Alice was grabbed roughly from behind, and a knife appeared at her throat. A dark voice slid out, "Yes… stay… It'll be fun."

His travel time a bit delayed, Bobby dropped out of the small clock hanging on a tree. Instantly, the aggressor leapt off of her and jumped to be in attacking distance of both.

The Hatter was dressed in the same attire as his comrade in arms, exception of a few key differences. A black top hat covered his head, where, beneath the rim, white rags were covering his upper face. A lone black eye glared out. His mouth was the same as March's, a metal visor with sharpened triangular teeth. There was a familiar breastplate, the abdomen wrappings, and the metallic skirt. A different cloth belt was tied round his waist, the ends hanging down to whiff around his knees. Cloth and leather instead of metal, Hatter's boots tapped against the ground in nervous agitation. He crossed his arms, careful not to prick himself with the razor thin daggers that he held. His sleeves extended all the way down to his gloved wrists, armored on the outside area. His gloves were a mixture of metal and cloth.

White trembled as he switched his gaze between the two, "Please… I don't want any trouble…"

Snarling, March stepped forward, fingering his cleaver, "I don't think so, White!" He grabbed White by the throat before the rabbit could react with his sword and leered, "You're invited!"

He hit White over the head and let the unconscious man sink to the ground, chuckling deviously.

A moment later, something hard slammed into Alice's skull and she followed White Rabbit into darkness.

Alice woke up slowly, coming to painful realization that something had beaten her head and it still hurt…

And that her arms were tied up over her head, she was gagged, and she kind of hung from an overhead branch.

She heard groaning and turned her head to see White Rabbit in the same predicament as her, and beyond him, a very sullen Bobby.

Shaking his head, White Rabbit groaned in agony and trepidation.

Alice shook her head and turned to glance forward again…

Right into the face of the March Hare.

Gripping her chin as she tried to look away, he sneered as he forced her to look at him, "Hello, girlie. Jabberwock has a big interest in you, so I guess we won't be getting you today. So… you'll just have to watch." He chortled hoarsely and turned around. Strolling to the tea party table, he slid into a comfy chair and tapped the table, gazing at the Hatter, who clinked a spoon against the table top.

Hatter glared at the prisoners and dug a golden watch from his pocket. Glancing at it, he sighed, "Do you think this is still broken? We still have five minutes to wait before tea time."

Cracking his knuckles, March leaned back, "Tea time is tea time. We wait."

Moments of silence as Hatter stared at his watch, and then he asked, "Which one of them?" He jerked a thumb at the hanging captives.

March pondered this, "The girl's out of the question. Jabberwock wants her. So that leaves us with cousin there and the human."

"We had another one of your cousins last time someone came. Let's have the man."

"Fine with me. I can get caught up with White on what's happening with the rest of the family."

Again silence and more glancing at the watch. Finally, Hatter got up and clapped cheerfully, "Tea time."

March followed him up and motioned politely, "After you, dear comrade."

Laughing, Hatter and March strolled over to the hanging Bobby. They cut him down and, dragging him over to the tea table, threw him into a chair. Sitting down in the chairs beside him, they fingered their wine goblets. March put his cleaver on the table and said slowly, "So… what are we going to do now, Hats? Drinks or treats?"

"Both?"

"Drinks first?"

"Sure."

In a second, Hatter had slammed Bobby down face first into the table, and March, on the other side, held the struggling man's down as he raised his cleaver. Maniacally laughing, March hissed, "Left or right, Hats?"

"Just do it already!"

Smiling, March arced the cleaver down.

Bobby's body jerked as his head separated with neck, and there were quite a few more convulses before it finally stilled.

Scooping up the head, March held it up victoriously, "Here we are!"

Hatter held out two wine goblets, "Don't waste the stuff!"

March moved the head over the glasses and both murderers watched in silence as the goblets filled up with crimson juice. When the glasses were full, March threw the head down and chinked glasses with Hatter, "Cheers."

"Happy Unbirthday."

Laughing, they drained the glasses in one long gulp.

Alice stared in horror at the two. How could they do that? They- they had just drank his mother's boyfriend's blood!

And they had killed him!

March brought his glass down and groaned in pleasure, "Never tasted it this sweet before!"

Smirking, Hatter agreed, "Glad we didn't eat your cousin?"

"Sort of… yes…"

A pause. Then March grabbed Bobby's headless body and dragged it onto the table, "Who wants honors?"

"You have the knife. You do it."

March twirled the cleaver expertly between his fingers and lowered the blade to the still-bleeding neck. He cut 2 quick slices and shoved them onto little plates that might have once housed cakes and cookies.

Smiling, Hatter took one of the plates and some silverware. Cutting a small piece, he popped it into his mouth and chewed. He swallowed and nodded, "It's good."

March grinned and ripped a piece of flesh from the corpse. He ate it and chuckled as he glanced at the two horrified remaining prisoners, "Looks like the others want in on our little tea party."

"Jabberwock never said anything about giving her over to him in one piece. We can take a leg, couldn't we?"

"Or two."

"With arms."

They gazed at each other and then started determinedly towards the two. Cutting the two prisoners down, they took them over to the table and seated them forcefully. March took a seat by White.

Hatter sat by a terrified Alice.

Alice stared in horror at the headless corpse directly in front of her, trembling with terror. These two were maniacs!

Hatter stroked her cheek, "You've changed a little since the last time you came, Alice. We've kind of gotten rid of the tea and cakes, as you've noticed." He teased the gag out of her mouth.

March pulled at White's trembling ear, "C'mon, cousin! Want to tell me anything before we have a bit of fun with you?"

Blinking quickly, Alice barked furiously, "Stop it! Leave him alone!"

Silence, everyone staring at her. Finally, Hatter leaned over and asked, "A question: Why you traveling with Whitey here?"

"He came to me! And don't hurt him!"

Dragging his cousin up, March sat White on the table and fidgeted with the cleaver, "Every time you say that, wench, I just want to do it!"

Hatter raised a hand, signaling March to wait with the disemboweling. Turning to Alice, he crossed his arms and sneered, "You want to save him? We play a game."

Alice glared at the murderer, "Fine. What game?"

"Riddles."

Clapping his hand with joyful anticipation, March dragged White back down into his seat, "Let me guess! Three wins for us and we eat cousin, and three wins for you and cousin gets to walk!"

"Yes. And if White gets done with, we'll move on to her legs." Hatter glanced down at Alice's skinny legs and sneered hungrily.

Alice blinked, realizing the dangerous game she was playing, but it was the only way. She nodded.

Hatter scowled, "I'll go first then.

I'm with you, however much you hope not.

I creep through narrow passages, keeping you in sight.

I'm invisible till you fall, and then I flee into the open and you see me.

But soon I'm gone.

What am I?"

Alice stared at the Hatter and immediately broke into a cold sweat. Not only did this sound morbidly grim, but she had no idea what the answer was.

" Alice? Are you struggling already?" Smirking, Hatter jerked his hand at White, "We can trade you a hint for a chance at his fingers."

March grabbed White's hand and pulled off the long white glove.

Twitching at the distraction, Alice hissed, "Let me think! And no!" She clapped her hands over her ears and thought. Something that was always with her?

Shadow, air, something on her, clothes?

Okay… let's start thinking.

Narrow passages… There was no narrow passages round her at the moment, so the always wouldn't work there and…

The answer dawned on her and she hastily compared it to the other clues.

It worked in all ways.

"It's blood!"

Hatter scowled, "Darn it! I knew it was too easy!"

Uplifted by her victory, Alice spouted the first riddle that came to her mind,

"30 white horses on a pink hill.

First they stomp, then they chomp, then they stand still

What are they?"

Immediately, she groaned. She just had to had pick the easiest one.

Hatter tapped his fingers against the table, "Pink hill? Hmm…" He stared at Alice in meditation.

Matching his staring lone eye, Alice forced a smile…

And unknowingly gave him the answer.

"Teeth. And thanks for the smile."

Alice scowled.

Raising himself out of his seat, March started the next riddle:
"I start as nothing.

You step into light, I grow.

Step back into darkness, I grow more into something.

Step back into light to shrink me away.

Disappear into the dark to do away with me altogether.

What am I?"

Alice's eye twitched. So… grow, grow, shrink, shrink? What the heck?

Minutes passed, and the two captors grew impatient. Hatter snapped, "Hurry up, girl! That's an easy one! Or just give it up so we can have his leg at least!"

March fidgeted, hand clenching round his cleaver, "Yeah, c'mon… I want to cut White up already."

White's eyes were rolling back in terror.

"Wait, wait, wait! Let me think! Let me think!" The only thing that could grow and diminish in light was a shadow, but to shrink and grow in darkness too?

She went ahead and tried, "Is it a shadow?"

There was silence and then March groaned, "Noooo… Can we please count that as a miss anyway and change the answer?"

Hatter shook his head, "Sorry. No. That'd be bad sportsmanship for a tea party game."

Snarling, March slammed the cleaver down into Bobby's corpse. He pulled it out, along with a slice of meat, and grimly tried to settle his frustrated desires with some food. Glaring at his comrade, Hatter sneered, "Don't even ask how much I want the girl. So cheer up." He turned towards Alice and snarled, "It's your turn again."

Alice pondered the riddles she had in her mind and settled onto one her teacher had used as a brain teaser the previous year.

"I, the first of three, cry for the poor

The rich hide away from me, for I give death…

As well as life.

I, the second, am the rearing snake.

I strike for my brothers with my flames.

But to kill you, I don't need fire… Just touch.

Finally, I, the third, am the voice.

I announce the battles, but never fight.

Count me and run the miles.

We three brothers differ,

But we strive to be one thing together.

Who are we, and what do we make?"

Silence reigned the tea party for a moment and then March leaned forward, dangerously furious, "That's four riddles all rolled into one! That's not blinkin' fair!"

Hatter nodded, eyes glinting, "But, think of it, comrade. If we get it right, we get to ask her four riddles in return, if we want."

"Oh… that's fine then."

Hatter leaned an arm on the table and nibbled thoughtfully at his metal-tipped finger, the visor-teeth and finger tip grating out in a screech, "Let's start with the first one. Crying on the poor and the rich runs away… Blood maybe?"

"But how does blood give death?"

"You have a point there…"

"Maybe we should skip that for now. Number two, the one who uses flames and touches to kill people. What starts a fire but doesn't need to use fire to kill you?"

A pause, and then Hatter snapped his fingers excitedly, "Lightning!"

Alice's smile fell. They had guess one part of the four part riddle.

"Now… third one… Loud and heralds his comrade's coming… But doesn't join the battle… But what's with 'count me and run the miles'?"

"Count the miles maybe? Could that be thunder?"

March nodded solemnly, "That'd make sentence."

Smile dipping down to a full-out frown, Alice watched her riddle get decimated against these maniacs.

Hatter tapped his fingers on the table-top, "But that leaves us with the blood… How does blood, lightning, and thunder go together?"

"Easy. Thunder comes when lightning strikes out and draws blood. So a thunderstorm."

Turning to Alice, Hatter peered down at her, "First thing's blood, second thing's lightning, third thing's thunder, and it comes together to make a thunderstorm."

Alice shuddered, "Well… you got everything right except for the first thing. It's not blood… it's rain."

Silence, than March snarled, "Rain? How could we forget about rain, Hats?"
"It's rain. Rain's easy to forget…" Hatter huffed, "Okay. So we've missed one, but now it's our turn.

A shadow started out for Eldorado,

Leaving all he left behind.

He searched for things ahead,

Which of course he'll find.

He found the golden city,

But it was not what you expect.

No bigger than a grain of sand,

Nothing but a speck.

Eldorado, O Eldorado!

Where do your golden gates lie?
It lies in the reddish-gray hills of Neverbeing,

And it won't even give up a sigh.

Find the valley of hills with knolls of grayish tint,

And the lone person who might have a correspondent within.

And that is it enough for hints.

What is Eldorado?"

Alice blinked. Eldorado? This whole poem-riddle reminded her of another, but she couldn't recall the other poem at the moment. So… Found a city of gold which was different than what he expected. Reddish-gray hills? Corpses, probably, judging by what March and Hatter thought about. And a lone person with a correspondent within himself?

The way Hatter had said it, it could be either that or a person communicating to the outside…

Eldorado…

"A heart?"

"BZZT!" Hatter and March leaped up with joy, "You have it wrong! We're even again!"

Staring at the two, Alice growled, "What was it?"

Hatter paused and turned serious, bringing his finger up to his visor-mouth, "It's a secret."

"But I told you the answer to my riddle!"

"Why are you angry? I just told you the answer!"

"You said, 'It's a secret.' and-" Alice stammered off when she realized that the answer was a SECRET. Secret of gold.

Darn it.

"Fine… both of us are at a one riddle loss."

March spat out a bone and bobbed a finger up and down in knowing assurance, "We're going to win, you know. We have more experience. So expect cousin here to be eaten by day's end."

Glaring at the hare, Alice narrowed her eyes, "Why don't you just eat Bobby? You've already killed him and he's still on the table."

March glanced at the body and cocked his head, thinking about it. Reaching out, he cut Bobby's hand off at the wrist and pulled it towards him. Silently, he began munching on the fingers, glaring sullenly at Alice, "Thanks… now you've made me feel stupid."

Hatter laughed, "Fine, then. Let's take a break. At the rate March is going over there, I won't get anything to eat." He pulled his plate towards him, where a crimson chunk of raw flesh quivered.

Alice gulped and turned away as Hatter took a bite.

And White? He fell to slump over the arm of his chair, horrified that this fate might very well be his.