Update 1/30/14: Just fixing some wording and stuff. Nothing to see here.

The Bestest Date Like EV-ER Part 1

Once upon a time there was a boy. But not just any boy, this boy was blond with bright cerulean eyes. But not just any blond haired cerulean eyed boy, this blond haired cerulean eyed boy had a date tonight. But not just any blond haired cerulean eyed boy with a date tonight, this blond haired cerulean eyed boy with a date tonight had a date with none other than Sasuke Uchiha. Tonight. And he had no idea what he was going to wear. Fuck. The blond thought and thought (And even actually thought for once) about what to wear, but everything just looked terrible to him!

'What the fuck is wrong with all of my clothes?!' Naruto thought, desperately trying to find something that looked good.

After what felt like hours of deliberating Naruto finally came to a conclusion. Call Kiba.

Kiba had the best fashion sense! Like he… Always wore a jacket with a stylish furry hood! And he had tattoos on his face! Yeah that would do… He would totally call Kiba.

So he picked up the phone and dialed the number. Ring ring, went the phone. Tick Tock, went the clock. Scurry scurry, went the mouse. Wait a minute, mouse?! Eh, he'd deal with that later. Drip drip, went the faucet. Vroom vroom, went the motorcycle- motorcycle?! Naruto sprang up to look out the window- and lo and behold- there was Kiba.

Kiba walked in without a second thought, leaving Naruto to question, "What the heck?!" as he passed. He then strode casually into Naruto's bedroom.

"I'm not gonna ask you again, Kiba, what in the heckie are you doing here?!"

"Eh. I knew you would need me. Your fashion sense is simply atrocious."

Naruto opened his mouth to defend himself but then realized the truth of Kiba's words. He nodded instead.

Kiba instantly started going through his closet. "Hot mess, hot mess, fabulous, fabulous, hot mess, hot mess, fabulous… Damn, Naruto. Half of your closet is hideous."

"Shut up! At least I don't have wet dreams about strangers!"

"Le gasp! Jimmy is no stranger! He is my one true love and-and… You're just trying to hurt me again, aren't you!?"

"Scoff, you've only met him once. How could you be in love with him!? You only like him for his looks."

"I knew it, you're just trying to hurt me again!" Kiba then started sobbing into his hands.

"I'm so sorry, Kiba! I never meant to hurt you, I promise!" Naruto started sobbing as well.

They embraced each other in a tight hug, still weeping all the while. When they had both calmed down, they wiped the tears off their faces and looked at each other meaningfully.

"So you should totally wear that one black tank top with the orange spiral and that orange vest that goes over it and the cargo pants and the orange fingerless gloves and the combat boots with those goggles on your head and a band-aid on your face to make you look cool!" Kiba said cheerfully.

"Omigee that's like, my favorite outfit! Thanks, Kiba! We could do without the band-aid, though."

"Aww… But it would make you look coooool…" Kiba whined.

"Sigh. Fine. But it can't have any puppies on it!"

"I wasn't planning on that anyway. Ahem. Now come on, we have to get you dressed! Sasuke's going to be here in an hour!"

"I only have an hour!? Shit!" And with that, Kiba dragged him into the bathroom.

There was a knock from the door. Naruto checked the mirror to make sure he was still uber sexy and ran his hands through his hair to mess it up a bit. Yeah. Sexy.

He had just made sure that Kiba left (AKA pushing him out the window), so now he was free to go on his date! But before he could answer the door…

"Naruto!"

"What, Iruka!? Can't you see I'm about to go on an epicly kick-ass date?!"

"I don't want you to curse anyone tonight! I'm tired of parents calling me saying, 'It's your son's fault that my daughter passed out from an extreme spontaneous nosebleed last night!' It's annoying."

"I only gave her a nosebleed once!" He argued, "And the book of witchcraft says-"

"No curses Naruto."

"But-"

"None."

"Curses…"

"What did I just say?!"

Naruto sputtered. "I didn't even mean it like that!"

There was an insistent knock from the door. He had left him waiting a bit too long.

"Damn it, Iruka, I have to go now!"

"Okay. Have fun on your date!" he said, completely forgetting about the whole cursing thing.

"Yeah, whatever, bye!" Naruto yelled back.

And with that he rushed right out of the door, and straight into the arms of one Sasuke Uchiha.

Good thing his hair was still messed up.

Yeah. Sexy.

Woooooo.