It all feels so fucking good. Our bodies are slick with sweat and the room is filled with our gasps and moans of pleasure. It occurs to me that people would be able to hear us if they pass by the Cuarta's room, but really, who gives a shit about what goes on behind closed doors here in Las Noches?

Everyone here have their secrets going on.

After a few days of getting used to living in Las Noches, I started getting to know my fellow arrancars. Most of them were not happy with having a new comrade; we arrancars look out for ourselves and will cut down competition at the very first opportunity. The only arrancar that caught my eye was the one that had recruited me into Aizen's army.

Often, I would watch him with interest, completely unaware that this was the beginning of my… obsession with him. He seemed to walk through the halls of Las Noches with such perfect grace, the coat tails of his uniform swaying with his movements. He was different from all of the other arrancars, and I suppose that was what drew me to him. He had an air of mystery about him and his composure was always calm, nothing ever provoked him. While most arrancars here were blood thirsty, loud and were constantly looking for something to kill, he wasn't. He was cold but he wasn't interested in dirtying his hands unless necessary.

Like I said, he was different.

One day, our paths crossed once more. He stared down at me in an obvious display to show that he saw me as a weakling and closed his eyes before turning away.

That pissed me off.

"Hey, you little shit!" I spat, my hands balled into fists. "You think you are so fucking great, huh?"

He stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder, his hands in his pockets. Annoyance flitted through his eyes.

"Come and fight me, you Emo Bitch!" I challenged. "We'll see who is stronger then!"

"There is no need for such an unnecessary task."

I narrowed my eyes. "And why the hell is that?"

"Because, I am better than you."

Now that comment really got on my nerves. I wanted to tear the fucking bitch in half. I hated the way he spoke to me. I hated the way he looked at me. I hated HIM. Growling, I unsheathed my zanpaktou and lunged at him, my zanpaktou slicing through the air. He looked at me in a bored manner and stopped my zanpaktou with his arm.

My eyes widened. The blade had hit him but there was not a single scratch on him.

"Useless." He flung my zanpaktou away, letting it fall to the ground with a clatter. "You are no match for me. Come back when you are stronger. And show some respect towards your superior next time."

Superior…?

Noticing the confused look on my face, he said, "I am one of the Espada. I can crush you without any effort so watch your words, Jaegerjaquez."

The Espada? I've heard of them. They were supposedly this group of arrancars made up of supposedly the strongest fighters in Las Noches. I rarely saw any of those bastards but thinking back, I should have known that this guy was an Espada. His reiatsu was enormous. It was only when the pale Espada turned and walked away from me that it occurred to me that he knew my name.

And so, desiring power so that I'd one day be able to join the ranks of the Espada, I trained every single day, mercilessly killing innocent hollows, practicing and perfecting my fighting technique. Slowly but surely, I climbed my way up to the rank of Sexta Espada. I later learned that his name was Ulquiorra Cifer and that he held the rank of Cuarta Espada. A strong son of a bitch. But even though I have proven that I am a more than able fighter, he still looked down at me. I have challenged his countless of times but he rejected every one of them.

I may be part of the Espada but in his eyes I was not strong enough or worthy enough for his time.

We fall into a comfortable silence, with him lying down right next to me. His breaths caress my skin and he seems to be enjoying the moment. Cautiously, I reach up and hold him close, running my fingers through silken raven locks. When he doesn't reject my advances, I hold his chin and tip his face towards mine gently.

He looks up at me tiredly but he doesn't seem angry at all. Emerald orbs are glazed with exhaustion. Things have been pretty hectic lately what with Aizen giving him countless duties to perform every day. I don't know how he is able to fulfill every duty efficiently and flawlessly without complaint. His lips are slightly parted. These black and white lips. I run a finger along his bottom lip, surprising him slightly. They are so soft.

"Sexta…" Even exhaustion laces his voice. "What are you doing?"

Without a word, I lean forward and kiss him. Caught off guard, he stiffens and after a moment or two, he starts kissing me back. My fingers fisted in raven hair and his hands gripping my shoulders, our lips brush tightly against each other's, our tongues intertwined sensually. As we get deeper into the kiss, he moans softly into my mouth. I break away from the kiss and begin kissing a trail along his neck, pleased to hear that he is panting, enjoying the attention that he is receiving. I love to hear the little sounds that he makes when he is being pleasured. And since I don't get to hear it that often, I love it even more.

"Jaeger… Jaegerjaquez," he tries to speak in an even tone but is having difficulty doing so. He narrows his eyes at me, suspicion evident in those emerald orbs. "What are you doing?"

I look up at him, irritated. "What the hell do you think I'm doing?" I snap, not liking the way he is looking at me. Come on, is he that oblivious? How much more obvious do I have to be to get it through his thick skull?

"I don't know. You tell me."

"God!" I say. "Are you that stupid, Ulquiorra?"

He glares at me. "Watch your mouth, Sexta. I don't appreciate being called stupid."

"Well, that's because you are!" I am getting pissed off. "You just know exactly how to ruin the moment, don't you?"

When he knits his eyebrows together in confusion, I can tell that he doesn't get it. I don't know what I expected. He is Ulquiorra, after all. He doesn't understand emotions and since they have no use in battle, he doesn't think that they are necessary. I flip us over, my hands gripping his shoulders, making him look at me in the eye.

"You have no idea, do you?"

He stares up at me blankly. "What?"

"That I'm in lo-"

"Ulquiorra!" a lazy voice drawls from outside Ulquiorra's door.

Emerald eyes fall upon the door. Ulquiorra sighs. Without a doubt, it must be someone coming to tell Ulquiorra that he has more work to do. I curse under my breath. Did they have to come right now?

"Let go of me, Sexta," Ulquiorra commands.

"What if I don't?"

"Let. Me. Go," he repeats, more seriously and more commanding this time.

I let him go and watch him as he picks up his hakama from the ground and puts it on, tying the sash on securely. With that done, he walks towards the door and twists it open, not even bothering to put on his jacket, revealing the Quinta Espada standing outside. I can feel my blood boil when Nnoitra licks his lips and runs his eyes brazenly over Ulquiorra's body. I wish that the bastard would burn right on the spot.

They are both speaking in hushed tones with the Quinta occasionally sending sly looks in my direction, enjoying the increasingly sour look on my face. I know exactly what it looks like. I am completely naked with only a sheet barely covering my hips, with hickeys decorating my neck and chest. From the scratch marks on Ulquiorra's arms, hips and back, Nnoitra knows exactly what had taken place here before he came.

To further irritate me, the Quinta leans towards Ulquiorra, his lips barely touching the Cuarta's ear as he whispers something to him as he runs his hand down Ulquiorra's arm.

What the fuck does the asshole think that he is playing at?

I pull the sheet up, wrapping it around my hips to cover myself and stalk towards the two, a scowl fixed on my face.

"What the hell is going on here?" I demand.

Nnoitra grinned. "Nothing."

"Nnoitra here is just telling me that the Ryoka boy is getting nearer. Aizen-sama has told us to prepare ourselves," Ulquiorra explains.

While Ulquiorra spoke, I continue to glower at the Quinta, willing him to go away. He just grins at me in his usual pervert-like fashion and says conversationally, "So, what were you and Ulquiorra doing?"

"None of your business," I answer stiffly.

"Oh really?" He raises an eyebrow. "By the way do you have any idea who was making all of those noises just now?"

"What noises?" I reply cautiously.

"You know," he says slyly. "I heard some screaming and moaning coming from this room."

"You know very well what was going on here, Jiruga!" I snap.

Ulquiorra watches this exchange silently, not even saying a word.

"Alright alright. Don't need to get so snippy," Nnoitra says. "And don't scream at me, Jaegerjaquez. Else you will strain your voice. Especially after all of that screaming you did before. I had no idea that you are so vocal…"

"Get. OUT."

"Careful there, kitty cat. You will really strain your voice that way," Nnoitra sniggers. "You really must like being bottom-"

Fed up, I slam the door in his face. With a touch of satisfaction, I hear him yell out and curse when the door hit him square in the face.

"You should respect your superiors, Sexta. Even if it is Nnoitra," Ulquiorra comments easily.

"But he was touching you!" I find myself saying without thinking.

"What?" Oh, he understood what I said perfectly well alright. He just doesn't understand the emotion behind it.

"Nothing."

Now Ulquiorra is starting to lose his patience. "What is wrong with you, Jaegerjaquez? You have been acting rather strange lately."

When I keep silent, he studies me, those emerald eyes willing to search for the reason for my behaviour. After a few long drawn seconds of silence, he closes his eyes and looks away. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he says, "It's not important. Your feelings don't matter anyways."

What?

And he walks away from me, bending down to pick up his discarded jacket, just like that. His movements are graceful, his demeanor calm; he is beautiful, yet so cold. It's like he has built an impenetrable wall around himself and he won't let anyone in. No matter how many times I try, I can't break through. He will just push me away. Like he is doing right now.

I'm sick and tired of it.

"My feelings don't matter?" I repeat his words, balling up my fists.

He pauses for a brief moment before zipping up his jacket right up to his throat. "That's right. They don't," Ulquiorra says plainly. He has finished dressing himself and is now straightening out his uniform. Not once does he look at me. He keeps his back firmly turned on me.

I stare at that back, stare at that white uniform that is concealing the patterns that I have clawed down his back numerous times, marring that porcelain. Even with his jacket on, I can tell exactly what the marks look like and where they are. Some are old and faded, paler than his skin. Some are healing with scabs on them. Some are new, fresh, with some dried blood smeared on them. I have always felt sorry whenever I tear that skin open, causing crimson to blossom.

But right now, I don't give a damn.

"So my feelings don't matter." I feel like laughing.

You just don't understand. You never do.

All of my pent up emotions are finally coming to the surface. I feel so stupid. Of course he doesn't care. He is Ulquiorra fucking Cifer; the most emotionless arrancar in Aizen's army. I'm sick of this. "Fine, Ulquiorra," I say bitterly. "Have it your way, as always. You don't fucking care, do you? You don't fucking care about anyone other than yourself." As I say all of this, he stiffens and stands still. I can tell that he is listening since he doesn't interrupt me. "I hate you," I finish softly.

…

I am breathing hard now, my heart beating fast. At first, I thought that he was going to cero me for saying all of those things, but he does not. Instead he stays silent, his back still turned on me.

Then he speaks, his voice low yet it is incredibly clear to my ears.

"You are being a nuisance, Sexta. Unlike you, I have some duties to fulfill so I would appreciate it if you were to see yourself out," Ulquiorra says calmly. He gestures at the door. "If you will."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Fine!" I snap. "I don't want to spend any more time with you anyways!" His glare deepens at my words and I know I will have to pay for them later, but by now, I don't give a shit. I grab my clothes and quickly dress myself before storming out of the Cuarta's room. This is the first time I have ever had an argument with Ulquiorra, and knowing Ulquiorra, he would be rougher during our next meeting or he will give me the silent treatment.

As if it makes any difference.

I slam my fist into the wall, trying to combat with the pain in my chest. Fuck this. I need to release all of my pent up anger. Hitting the wall won't do. I need something, someone to kill. A stray hollow perhaps? Or…

I grin.

I know exactly who I want to take my anger out on.

The Ryoka boy was easy enough to find. His reiatsu is enormous and the fact that he is totally useless at cloaking it helped. He was wandering around, completely lost. The moment I saw him, I challenged him to a battle, which he quickly accepted. I am panting lightly now, my hand on the hilt of my zanpaktou as I glare at Kurosaki. He has multiple wounds all over his body but he doesn't seem to be giving up. If anything, he seems more determined than ever to save that Inoue girl. I myself am no better off what with wounds and cuts all over my body, my uniform torn in places. Blood may be dripping down my body, mixed with sweat-

But I've never felt more alive.

I am in my element. I am doing what I am born to do; to kill. It seems that I have forgotten how good it is seeing others in pain after I met Cifer. And now that I am back in battle, I don't ever want to leave.

I have refused to draw out my zanpaktou throughout the whole battle, wanting to just bash the boy's face into the ground. He is my punching bag, after all. And I have; it certainly helped with releasing my anger, being able to kick and beat the boy so easily. Or maybe I just want to die. But then Kurosaki pulls on that Hollow-like mask of his, and I think that the real battle has just begun. He is desperate to rescue his friend and will do all it takes to save her.

I pull my zanpaktou out at the very last minute to block his attack when he suddenly lunges at me, his pure black zanpaktou slashing through the air.

"Is that all you've got, boy?" I laugh. "You've got to do more than that if you want to defeat me."

Ichigo narrows his eyes at me. "I will defeat you." He attacks me again, cutting open a fresh wound across my torso. "I will defeat you and Ulquiorra."

I stiffen.

Ulquiorra…?

Confusion passes through Kurosaki's face when he catches sight of the marks on my neck and chest but then I regain my composure and spit out, seeing red, "I'd like to see you try, brat." No one is allowed to injure Ulquiorra. Ever. I kick him in the chest, enjoying the sight of blood spurting of out his mouth before he slammed into the wall.

Slowly, Ichigo falls to the ground and he tries raising himself up on all fours, but it is slow going. It is a pitiful sight, but I am too angry to care. My lips set in a thin line, I stand over the boy, my fury evident through my reiatsu, stepping on his hand cruelly, making him cry out. Who is he to threaten Ulquiorra? To think that he could defeat the Cuarta Espada? I have never seen Ulquiorra hurt in battle before, and I doubt I will anytime soon.

I want nothing more than to see Kurosaki dead.

"Don't even fucking thinkthat you are worthy enough to fight Ulquiorra if you can't even get past me, Kurosaki," I say lowly. "Is that all the power you've got? You aren't even trying to kill me."

"Don't underestimate me, Grimmjow."

And then he disappears from the ground and appears behind me. I turn around just in time to block his attack, grunting as I did so. He is overpowering me. Damn it. The kid is right. I have been underestimating him. The only reason I have gotten this far without releasing is because I have been fighting purely on my heightened emotions, letting it take me over and blind me, making me hit harder and faster. But the truth is, if I don't release Pantera, then this battle is just as good as over.

And yet I still refuse to.

Because even though I'm badly injured, I love the pain. And I want this battle to go on. But then I catch the look in Kurosaki's eyes; he thinks he is going to win, that he will be able to defeat me easily and it just fuels my anger. It reminds me too much of how Ulquiorra looks down on me.

"Fuck you!" I jump away from the boy and place my fingers on Pantera. I will show him. No one looks down on me. NO ONE. "Grind, Pantera," I growl.

No more playing around. It's time to finish this battle.

We must have been fighting for what feels like an eternity and both of us refuse to give up. Both of us are beaten up and nearly at our end, but sheer determination is what keeps us going on, pushing us beyond our limits. But as much as I hate to admit it, I am more heavily injured than Kurosaki. My breaths are ragged, my vision is getting blurry and simply standing up is difficult. Kurosaki has definitely gotten stronger since the last time I fought him in the human world.

Last time, defeating him would not have been a problem for me. But now, now it seems that he is on par with me in terms of power, but even more so. At first, I seemed to have the upper hand, surprising Ichigo with how much more power I have in my released form, my speed and strength heightened. However, it seems that he has decided to get more serious and battle at full power after I goaded him into doing so.

How am I supposed to prove that I am more powerful if he doesn't fight me at full strength?

I hiss as I slam into a wall, pain surging throughout my mind and body.

Kurosaki points the blade of his zanpaktou at my throat, his expression serious.

"You aren't the only one who wants to win, Grimmjow," he says.

I glare at him.

I grab his zanpaktou in defiance, pulling it closer to my throat, ignoring the fact that blood is now dripping down my hand from gripping it too hard, cutting open new wounds.

"Kill me then," I challenge. "You don't have the balls to kill me, boy."

Kurosaki remains silent.

I am cornered. My injuries are too numerous and deep for me to be able to continue fighting, but that doesn't mean this battle is over. Not yet.

"This battle is over, Grimmjow."

The Ryoka boy jumps away and holds his zanpaktou up. I close my eyes and I hear him yell, "Getsuga Tenshou!"

I ball up my fists, expecting to feel the powerful impact of Kurosaki's attack, and with it, the end of my life, but none came. When I finally open my eyes, I see a slender figure with raven hair clad in a white uniform in front of me. I look up at him in shock. Even Kurosaki is surprised.

"Ulquiorra?" I splutter. "What are you doing here?"

Ulquiorra turns around to fully face me, his expression stoic but in his eyes I can see fury burning in them. Fury of what? He stands in front of me, his eyes set in a glare. He grabs the front of my jacket, lifting me up until our faces are inches away from one another, making me look up at him, look into his eyes. His expression is unreadable. What is he thinking? Why is he here, saving me after what had just happened before?

"You fool," he says, anger practically radiating off of him. "We are supposed to stop him together."

When I remain speechless, we stare into each other's eyes for a few moments and then he says, his voice low, "It is my turn to battle Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Hell no!" I spit out. "I'm not done yet!" I try to stand up but that causes more blood to gush out of my wounds and I cry out. Damn it. The pain is a bitch.

"Your condition will not allow you to do so," Ulquiorra states plainly.

"At least let me help you," I try once more. "We are in this together, aren't we?"

Ulquiorra's eyes harden. He drops me heavily to the ground, pulls out his zanpaktou and raises it. "You are finished, Sexta. Now it is my turn." And then he slices a new wound across my chest open, causing crimson to spurt out, and thus making it impossible for me to continue battle.

Ichigo stares at Ulquiorra in shock. When he opens his mouth, he shouts, "How could you do that to him? He's your comrade!"

The Cuarta Espada flicks his gaze upon the orange haired teen calmly. "My reasons are my own, Kurosaki."

As I fall to the ground and watch Ulquiorra walk towards Kurosaki, his movements as graceful as ever, I am dizzy with blood loss. Before blacking out, a question forms in my mind;

Why have you come to save me?