In Transit

August 29, 2011 9:45am

(Olivia's POV)

Don silently walked up to El and whispered something in his ear. A minute later, I saw El slip the key into the lock and heard the door screech open. He walked towards me and I thought for a minute that he was going to tell me it had all been a joke. I thought he was going to give me a big hug and that we were going to laugh… at least, he would laugh… I'd probably slap him… then laugh the next day.

As he came towards me, I realized that something wasn't right. He was reaching towards his belt… towards his cuffs. Silently, he motioned for me to stand. As he locked the cuffs around my wrists, he whispered in my ear the words "I'm so sorry." I knew I had been arrested, but this changed everything.

I knew where I was headed, but I wasn't ready for it. Eliot and Don each took hold of one of my elbows and they silently led me out of the cell, into the elevator, and to the car. Don opened the door and Eliot robotically told me to watch my head, as he lowered me into the back seat of the car. This time was worse than when I came to the precinct. This time, I was cuffed.

Since Eliot hadn't slept all night, Cragen drove. El kept turning to look at me, as if he were checking to see if I was still there. The silence in the car was deafening. I couldn't believe this was happening. The ride seemed to last forever, but in reality, it was only about a 15 minute drive. We pulled up at the courthouse and I was led through a door I'd never been through before. Don and El passed me off to one of the bailiffs. The face was familiar. I knew that in another time, we had been friends. I didn't recognize who the face belonged to. I realized that I was used to seeing the face with a smile on it. This face was hardened, the eyes were icy, and I realized that I had lost everyone's respect and trust. Everyone, it seemed, but Eliot's.

The bailiff locked me in the pens and walked away. Time passed… and passed. I didn't know what was taking so long. It took me a long time to realize that no one was going to tell me. I wasn't a detective anymore… I was a criminal.

Someone brought me a soggy sandwich around noontime. I was only able to stomach a bite or two. Several bailiffs passed by my cell but every time I tried to ask what was going on, I was ignored. Around 2:00pm a bailiff came to get me. She brought me upstairs into a crowded court room. I looked around for a friendly face, but I didn't see one. Eliot wasn't there. Casey gave me a scared smile and motioned for the bailiff to bring me over to her. A few minutes later, we were told to rise.

The judge walked in and sat down. I did a double take. It was Judge Donnelly. Her face was cold and stern. She stared at me for a long time. Even after I looked down at the table, I felt her eyes on me. She told us to sit. She advised me that this was my arraignment and asked how I wanted to plea. Casey stood and replied that I was pleading not guilty. When asked for a bail recommendation, I expected Alex to go easy on me; after all, she was my best friend. I never expected her reply to be what it was.

It was as if I wasn't really there; as if I was observing from a faraway place. I heard my best friend mention that the defendant was a flight risk and that she was recommending remand. Her voice was cold and emotionless, as if she was talking about any other perp. She wouldn't look at me and I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I thought I was having a nightmare. My best friend wouldn't say that about me… would she? I silently listened as two of my closest friends argued back and forth about my level of trustworthiness. I was beginning to wonder why I even needed to be in the courtroom; it wasn't as if I was actually needed for anything.

After what seemed like forever, Judge Donnelly stopped the arguing. I expected her to back me up, but the words that came out of her mouth were something I didn't expect.

The Courtroom of Judge Elizabeth Donnelly

August 29, 2011 3:45pm

(Elizabeth's POV)

I had no idea what to do. It was the middle of August… there was no way this was an April Fool's Day prank. I wanted more than anything to recuse myself from the case, but I was afraid that it would end up in the hands of someone who truly hated one side or the other. It seemed better to keep it in the hands of someone who had a vested interest in both sides instead.

I knew that I had to make a decision. I felt my mouth open and even I was shocked at the words that came out of my mouth.

"Detective Benson is not above the law in any way. In fact, as a police detective, many would hold her to a higher standard than an average citizen. Be that as it may, I find the defendant to be a flight risk and support the Prosecution's argument for remand."

A new argument sprung up; this time over where to send her. On this, both sides were in different stages of agreement. Both sides wanted to keep Olivia away from anyone she'd put inside. The issue for me was that she had enemies almost everywhere. I had to keep her relatively close-by. I didn't want to put her in protective custody… that would hurt her. She couldn't spend 23 hours a day locked in a cell… she didn't deserve that.

I sent her back to the pens while I looked at the placement of her most violent perps. I had to make a decision on placement through her trial. There was only one place where she didn't have any enemies that I knew of. I called everyone back to the courtroom and explained my decision. I watched Olivia crumble. I told Captain Cragen that he had 48 hours to get her to the detention center. Until then, she was in his custody. She was shaking as she was walked out of my courtroom. I wondered if I had made the right decision after all.