After that particularly terrible day at school, I was back at the Dot for a shift. Jane's words had really gotten to me and I was in no mood to provide service to my fellow students. Instead, I sat at the counter and sipped on a vanilla milkshake.
I watched Sav and Anya making eyes at each other from across their table. They were easily the most lame people on the face of this planet. It was like someone had froze them at age twelve and they were forced to stay the same forever. Riley was eating french fries a couple of tables over. He sat with one of the guys from football team today, but lately I'd seen him around a lot with Fiona. What was it about those Coyne kids? One had Jane cheating and the other finally got Riley to date a Degrassi chick? Are people really that attracted to any sort of power? Danny and Derek were also on the prowl today, approaching any chick that walked in. There are few people I find more repulsive than Derek. He was like some sort of in-bred hyena with no social skills whatsoever.
I know my reputation had changed with all of them. They were no longer trying to drive me out of school by chanting "I hate Holly J" and I wasn't getting the silent treatment from my "friends", but it all seemed so fake. They liked me because of one event. They didn't particularly like my personality or even want to spend any sort of time with me. It was just hundreds of smiling faces greeting me in the hallway, as though it even mattered.
"Are you going to do any work today, J?" Spinner asked me while grilling a sandwich.
"You make a mean vanilla shake, Spin. Can you fault me?" I said with a smirk.
"I guess not. It's just good to see you smile, J. How was that, you know, test?" Spin said, while looking around to make sure no one was paying attention.
"Aced it," I replied, looking at him. "Wait, are we talking about the test or are we talking about, you know, Blue?"
"The second one. I know you aced the test. You ace all of your tests. I just didn't want to blow up your spot and name names. You clear things up with him?" Spin replied.
Yeah, clear as in I clearly haven't talked to him since we broke up and I have no clear plans to ever talk to him again.
"It's officially over," I said.
"Oh, right on time my friend," Spinner said as Jay walked in the door to the Dot.
"Let the games begin," Jay replied smirking.
Jay had his usual black baseball cap backwards on his head. He had a gray hooded sweatshirt unzipped over a black t. His jeans were frayed at the bottom and dragged over his sneakers. He had the keys to his car in his hand and as he sat down next to me, he dropped them onto the counter. He gave me a half-smile and nodded his head toward Spinner.
"What's going on, man? I'm just about to school Holly J on the inner-workings of a man," Spinner told him.
"Nothing. You're...cheery?" Jay said as he shot me a look.
"How could I not be? We're all living the dream here." Spin replied with a smile.
"Ha, it doesn't get better than this, does it?" Jay said with a chuckle. "Anyway, young Holly J, all you have to know about guys is we like two things low on a woman. One, your self-esteem and two, the cut of your shirts. Actually--"
"Spare me your sexist diatribe, Jay, " I said rolling my eyes and elbowing him in the side.
He turned to me and feigned injury.
"Ow, keep those pointy elbows to yourself, Holly J," Jay said. He reached over and touched my elbow. He pretended it was sharp enough to penetrate his skin.
"Come on, Jay. We're doing a pep talk, here," Spinner said interrupted Jay's act. He leaned over the counter, resting his head in his right hand. "Don't listen to him. Most guys just wants a chill girl who won't try to change him. Someone who can be herself. You'll find that one out there who can see passed all the insults and find the smart, kind of cool, and brave chick who lies beneath."
Smart? I'd spent enough years sharing the halls with numskulls to know that I was one of the few that had a clue what was going on. Kind of cool? I'd gone from being the most popular girl in school to the girl everyone hated, and back again. Cool didn't really matter anymore. Brave resonated with me. It wasn't a secret that Spin credited me with saving his life. I'd like to think he'd seen me as brave for other reasons too.
"Kind of cool? That's pretty lame for a pep talk, Spin," I replied.
"I can upgrade you to regular cool if you put that milkshake down and do some dishes."
"Kind of cool, it is! Anyway, I'm fine, really, but I appreciate it. I mean, except for Jay's part," I said giving Jay a smirk.
"Hey, Holly J, at least my dia-whatever was keeping it real," Jay said, poking me in the side.
"Well, Jay, sometimes the last thing you need to hear is what's real," I said looking down into my milkshake.
"No kidding," he said spinning around on his seat.
There was silence for a few seconds. Spinner looked at Jay and then directed his eyes toward me. I could almost see the wheels in his head turning.
"Guys, what's going on with you two?"
"Nothing!" Jay and I both said, practically in unison. I laughed nervously and tapped my fingernails against the counter.
Spinner tilted his head and looked at me skeptically.
"I mean, if I didn't know better I'd think you were...into each other. I mean, yesterday you basically left together, today I have no idea what you're talking about, and you keep...like, looking at each other. It's not in your normal annoyed way either," Spin said.
"That grease monkey and I? Ha—I may be a little weird these days, but I haven't completely lost my mind, " I scoffed.
"Freckles, you're not fooling anyone. You'd be lucky to get a little of this," Jay replied giving me a wink.
"A little of what, gonorrhea?"
"Dude, burn," Spinner said, sufficiently convinced that he'd misread the situation.
"Oh, that's right. I'm not her type. Holly J exclusively dates gay men. Spinner, you still have Marco's number? I'm sure little J would love to get her hands on that, " Jay said.
"High school dropout, " I countered, rolling my eyes.
"Goody-two shoes," he said, mockingly flashing me a smile.
Before I could get in another word, Spinner stepped interrupted our verbal sparring.
"Okay, okay, I get it, guys. I guess everyone's been a little weird lately," Spinner said. "Anyway, Jay, what are you doing tonight?"
"The usual," he replied with a shrug.
"Oh, so, waiting for Manny to call?" I spat.
"At least I have someone that'll call," he smugly replied.
Spinner shook his head at the two of us.
"Wanna come over to the man pad tonight? I've got a couple of bottles left from the housewarming party that need to be killed."
"Sure, dude. You know me, I can't say no to free booze."
"Cool. It works out because Jane's working with that Declan kid again tonight on their project and I need a night to just kick it. Between the Studz and work, I haven't had any me time lately."
I was mid-sip as Spinner explained that Jane would be off with Declan tonight. I felt myself gasp and my vanilla milkshake went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and for some of the shake to spray over the counter. Jay's eyes got really wide and his jaw sort of dropped. He had a terrible pokerface, but then again, I'm the one who had sprayed milkshake everywhere. Yeah, Spin, I'm really brave. I can't even find the guts to tell my best friend something I know he needs to hear.
"Yo, Holly J, is this some sort of new eating disorder all the kids are down with?" Jay said trying to inject humor into the situation.
"Funny, Jay. No...just it went down the wrong pipe," I said, finally catching my breath.
"All right, you. You're cut off before you make more of a mess," Spinner said as he took my glass away.
"Sure, whatever. I'm gonna go get cleaned up, " I said, standing up from the counter.
I looked over my shoulder as I headed to the bathroom. Jay was nervously tapping his foot while he and Spinner planned for their guys night. For a second, I thought about prodding Jay to tell Spin what was going on. Maybe it'd be easier coming from him. Yeah, I was really living up to that label of brave.
"You can't help me till the sunrise lifts up."