Chapter 5: A Sense Of Drollery
A/N: Even though this is rated for teens, I would like to mention that this chapter contains human swear words, and for any minors reading this: you're not supposed to! But if no one can stop you and my advice is ignored, don't waste your breath on these vulgarities in any attempt to look mature; it only encourages mothers around the world to wash your mouth with soap and feed you cod liver oil.
"Megatron, why?" Starscream burst into the room, hot tears riveting down her cheeks. "Why don't you understand? I didn't expect it to happen! I mean, but-…that, that's not the point! The point is, it happened because of us, my lord! This spark is ours!"
"Us?...US? There was no, "us" from the beginning, it was all about YOU Starscream! You and your petty little tricks!" The grey Transformer swiveled around to face his second-in-command, displeasing looks souring his rugged features. A dark finger stabbed the air in her direction, elucidating his barely manageable frustration. "You've betrayed me AND the empire time and time AGAIN! NEVER! I shall not have any more of this!" He activated his comm. link before the aerial commander could plead her case. "Soundwave! Bring this shecon to the prison cells and have her locked up for eternity, AND BEYOND!"
"No! NO MY LORD! NO PLEASE!"
'Please' was the last word she remembered, wailing for her life outside this dreadful confinement. Clutching her helmet, the red jet battled hard to stop her weeping, but the bitter tears continued to roll down her beautiful face; the same face that was being watched through the surveillance camera. Megatron could not cage this seeker as much as he could withhold his feelings for her, carrying the fiery passion that raged in his very spark. Starscream looked up when she recognised the clanging sounds from a pair of feet traveling towards her cell, and stood to have her body captured by a pair of strong arms. Megatron's inviting embrace was now occupied by the femme con, her head into his neck, her spark to his spark. Her frame settled down to a quiet shiver when he stroked her wings, and the pair floated in their own blissful silence. Megatron pressed the palm of his hand to her dimmed optics, admiring the last of her untainted innocence. Before he could comfort her with words about a better future to come, her blue fingers held his helmet and pressed her lips to his. Megatron's hunger only grew fiercer when he closed the space between their frames, and the two lost themselves in the euphoria that seized their circuits…
Pride and Decepticon Prejudices will be back after these messages. Do YOU feel down and rusty? Does your body lack it's luster and shine? Well worry no more, with Pansy-Sandzy Go-Away! Just apply two drops of our specialised formula and you'll feel as GOOD as NEW! -
"What the ding-dang-doolio?" Skywarp changed the channel to avoid the onslaught of advertisements. Thundercracker's dumb stare continued to prevail after catching the new 'hot-and-happening' drama that was taking place on a planet not-so-far-from-Cybertron-but-not-so-near-either. His jaw managed to unhinge itself from his stupefied expression to make a commentary.
"…Who made this crap?" he paused. The Decepticon behind him quickly passed her comment. "Should we tell Megatron of this new threat then?"
"I heard it was directed by an Autobot, or Autobot sympathiser (or something-)"
"The metal hunk that plays Megatron is so dreeeeeamy!"
"You mean Shadoweye?"
"I LOVE Shadoweye!"
"If mommy's spark comes out, are they going to name it Starburst?"
"Yeah, way to go Tinkerbrain, Megatron's kid is gonna be a new breed of Transformers called the Confectionaricons."
"I think he's an exaggerated representation of our leader. He's one shade lighter and his features have been artificially enhanced-"
"It's a soap, they do that all the time-"
"Still, we have the real deal in our ship! And 'Screamer's legs are the hawttest, oh yeahhhhh…"
Thundercracker avoided the stray energon chips peppering Skywarp, and turned to look at the entire group of femme cons snugly perched on purple seeker's recharge bed.
"Why are all the girls here, and in SKYWARP'S room, of all places?" he eyed the purple femme con pelting his wingmate as a single pellet bounced off his helmet.
"What's wrong, Thundy? Do you want us in your room instead?" the violet Decepticon female looked to her sister for approval to her teasing. Skywarp stopped eating the scattered food to look back at the females. "Nah, he just jealous-"
"We're just here because you have cable. Don't miss us when get our own two thousand, six hundred and three trillion channels. All legal."
"Hey! Busty Femmes are legal too y'know!" he threw back a quick retort but the femme con's sister had her share of opinions. "So not! And your room's stinky!"
"I don't mind it...it just needs a little cleaning up, that's all…" the quiet femme mumbled to herself when the tank stood up.
"This two earth hours show makes me feel two earth hours older. Come sisters, we have our duties to attend to." Lightburst happily exited Skywarp's room, and the others followed suit. One of the twins had to shake off Skywarp's hands from her leg, before leaving the two seekers alone again.
"Did a bunch of femmes just barge into your room to watch 'tee-vee'?" the light blue seeker pointed at the shushing door.
"Like a dream come true, bruv'," Skywarp folded his arms behind his head with a happy grin. "'Catch their names?"
"I know the seeker with the navy blue paint is called Midnight…" Thundercracker gestured to the empty corner of Skywarp's recharge berth.
"Quiet shy cutie," Skywarp mentioned. "I know tank girl's called…well, Tank Girl-"
"Tanky for short. The automobile twins that were sitting there…the blue one's Rev and the purple one's 'Celerate-"
"One for TC an' one for 'Warp! (Eh heh heh heh)-oh! And the pipsqueak belongs to 'Screamer, a.k.a. M.I.L.F. So there's Tank Girl, Rev, 'Celerate, Pipsqueak, and Quiet Weirdo-"
Thundercracker quickly slapped Skywarp's head. "I thought you said she was cute!"
"Slag that hurts! And a gal can't just SIT there looking cute for the next billion astroseconds! How shy can she get?"
"She seems very introverted…" Thundercracker's mumbling was quickly ignored by his wingmate. "'Don't know, don't care. But she does make good energon pie."
The blue jet's comment digressed to a more serious tone. "…We had pie?"
"Yeap."
"We had, pie pie?" A firm nod from Skywarp confirmed the information to be true, only to have his comrade reiterate the question. "…We, HAD, pie pie."
"And it was good too hey what the slag OW-!"
The females left the room before the two males started squabbling over trivialities once again. While the twins leaned on each other for comfort, Lightburst sat peacefully on Midnight's shoulder, dimming her aura so as to not distract the seeker's optics. The largest of the group silently led them on to the med bay, where they would meet with their leader in one piece, hopefully. Tank Girl's stature was to their advantage when the males parted to let the group through, and laid their optics on their supine leader.
"Commander Starscream," a humbled arm shook the red seeker's foot. "Are you awake ma'am?"
"…Mommy?" the smallest of the females floated to Starscream's face and waited for a response. A single glance at her creator sent quiet doubts about her beliefs; how can there be someone even greater than Starscream in sheer power? Everyone was already larger than her in size…now there's a figure that could topple her foster parent? How can she protect her mother, much less herself? Another goading whimper cut a red slit into the seekers face, reflecting a tired glow at the Cassetticon.
"…Mmph…ohhh….hrrk…" the aerial commander cleared her vocal box and lifted herself off the medical bed to look at her newly required team.
"…So much for Plan B, huh?" Rev smirked.
"…At least you're alive…" Starscream's body creaked as she brought herself face-to-face with the automobile. "…Be grateful."
Despite being torn apart by Megatron's customary welcome (specially reserved for the aerial commander), Starscream still held authority in her weakened state, and made her rank clear that she could dispose of them just as easily as Megatron could do to her. That unspoken statement cum threat did not include her fighting prowess. For the aptly named Tank Girl, her sturdy sense of duty outweighed her unfettered strength, and with Lightburst, loyalty replaced duty. The vehicle twins glorified their speed on the ground, but the difference in terrain was of no concern to the red seeker's good two point seven mach speed. The second female seeker was very much an enigma to those who don't know her. Overall, they are a new wave of Decepticons on their obscure 'excursion' on Earth. From the medical bay to the briefing room, Starscream seated herself in the centre of the table, while the rest ignored the hierarchy amongst themselves and took their seats.
"First order of business, ladies…"
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Megatron smirked at the last word. The red jet's sarcasm always took attendance in her hissy speech. Laserbeak's secret recordings continued uninterrupted as with Starscream's commands for her female troops.
"Out leader Megatron, may have given you a verbal confirmation of your participation in our war, but there's no written proof, so don't get your jolly skirt's in a pleat yet. The Nemesis can afford to accommodate numerous soldiers, but in our (and by our I mean your) case being the minority, a mobile station is needed. How does that go, T.G.?"
Laserbeak and Megatron turned their optics to the monotone Decepticon confirming a steady construction process. The vehicles and their geographical reconnaissance missions on Earth had positive results, and Lightburst's size allowed her to study earthlings and their dysfunctional progress at social advancement. The leader of the Decepticons frowned at the last one, until Starscream spoke to her in a more cautionary manner. 'That blue seeker is timid and meek, but not useless. She's holds some foundation in their team,' Megatron soon lost interest when the females exited the room to start their new tasks at hand. A gruff order on her comm. link summoned the aerial commander to share the same room with Megatron, and the same disgruntled look on their faces.
'It's not like I didn't see your stupid parakeet spying on us…' her thoughts matched her unhappy grimace. "What do you want now leader? And F.Y.I. Megatron, I'm not your personal duffel bag." The mech was not in the mood for their verbal sparring, but out of habitual routine, he involuntarily lashed out a cheap threat at her.
"Shut up and listen female, or I'll knock another spark in you."
"Ooh, battery and rape, no WONDER you're our leader-ACKH!" A strong backhand to Starscream's cheek stopped the jet from finishing her sentence. Expecting the floor to slam into her face, Starscream opened her eyes when she felt her rump being dropped onto a chair by a cold hand, half wringing her neck.
"Let's make this clear before I have to suffer anymore of your stupidity…" Megatron paused, and dropped his weight on the seat opposite the seeker nursing her sore neck. The jet's insubordinate behaviour only served to sour his mood, but the great Decepticon mentally waved his animosity away. "Through sheer luck inconceivable by the Primus himself, you've finally made yourself useful to me, Starscream. While you were unconscious, the Constructicons scanned the spark and the test results are back; that spark you carry is mine as well as yours, and I will not deny it."
"Great, can I GO now-" Megatron hands facilely shoved her back down shortly after Starscream chose to get up from her chair. "You will SIT."
Megatron took gratification when Starscream crossed her limbs together, pairing her arms and legs with a defeated huff. "I'm not surprised that you have exploited this new life, and it's pleasurable to know that I will too. My reward for your selfless act in providing a legacy for the Decepticons with your humble womanhood, is your life which is to be spared."
"(Not the first time I'VE heard that…)" Starscream ceased her petty comments to look at her leader, concentrating on the soft glow radiating from her side. A blue hand quickly shielded the growing spark, and the duo turned their faces to each other in unison.
"You may not partake in any physical combat until the spark can survive without its host; this rule does not omit your other military duties," Megatron gave Starscream a few seconds to absorb the information. "You are not to leave the base, and the voice recognition systems will not register your commands. Your weapons will also be confiscated for the safety of our spark, and any other misdeeds you might commit to gain unauthorised leave of the premises. Am I understood?"
Starscream's optics now glowed with renewed vigour, her mind stunned beyond comprehension at the facts laid out in front of her. "I…I'm a prisoner…in-…in my own base? A PRISONER? STARSCREAM, the pride of the Decepticon War Academy, LOCKED UP IN THIS PURPLE MONSTROSITY YOU CALL A BASE?"
"More or less. Your null rays, if you don't mind," Megatron's mood was starting to get lighter by the second.
"I DO MIND YOU BUCKET-HEADED BASTARD!" Starscream's voice reached a new level of shrilling acrimony as she pushed herself off her chair. The pleasantly calm Decepticon leader happily dwelled in her suffering, admiring her arms flailing about with her mouth as she rabidly paced across the room, hissing and screaming like an abused cat. Megatron didn't so much as blink when she lanced her soon-to-be confiscated rifles at his forehead, and broke into a healthy fit of sniggers when they fizzled weakly, spitting a few pink and purple sparks onto the metal floor.
"MY NULL RAYS!" the red jet cried the obvious, and Megatron answered the obvious. "Yes, they are depleted."
Starscream swiped a rebellious hand across Megatron's face, standing back dumbly to find no aggravated snarl from her leader. Unable to carry her agitated senses, the femme con decided to spread her livid temper around the Nemesis like an unwanted plague. Embedding the floor with her graceless change feet, Starscream marched to the door to hear the familiar grumble from the exit. Except for one small obstacle.
The door.
It won't open.
"….EYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
Megatron looked up from his data pad, searching for some words of endearment to calm his aerial commander.
"What's wrong, my metal-winged buttercup?"
"THE SLAGGING DOOR WON'T OPEN? THE SLAGGING DOOR WON'T OPEN WHAT IN PRIMUS' NAME HAVE YOU DONEAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!" Megatron waited another astrosecond for the seeker to pound the floor with her delicate blue feet, stamping away like an obstinate child wanting the absolute. Through and through her fuming and rasping, did the idea finally dawn upon Starscream as to how the door's sensors could detect her from a good distance away before entering the room; Megatron 'chivalrously' opened it for her, giving Starscream the benefit of the doubt. Having gained enlightenment of no religious connotation, Starscream ceased her banshee cries to gnash menacingly at her leader.
"You…YOU…!" Fumbling through her mind to form a coherent sentence, Megatron casually interrupted the F-15 and her bruxing. "I suggest you respect your leader, for your own good. After all, I hold the key which will grant you access to your quarters, occupied meeting rooms, the canteen, and, (I can't remember why), the storage room."
'The slagging STORAGE ROOM? WHY WOULD I-!' the aerial commander forgot her grumbling thoughts to find the mech in front of her looking serene, with a smile to grace his contentment. The female narrowed her optics to nervous twitching slits, waiting for the worst yet to come.
"Now, my pet…" she winced at that word. "Who is your leader?"
Starscream waited for the words to reach her mouth, and mumbled something her audio receptors became deaf to. "(…You are…)"
"I don't believe that is the right way to address someone, Starscream. You must be loud and clear," The seeker could literally hear the grey Decepticon getting drunk on her misery, and dug her fingers into the palms of her fists. "You are, oh illustrious one…"
"You're flattery will get you nowhere when you lack the proper decorum," Megatron stroked the same cheek she slapped a few minutes ago. "Get on your knees and do it properly Starscream, I'm getting bored…"
Starscream's open palms met the floor, bowing her head to avoid looking at the smug face, but the nausea would not leave her fuel pumps. The jet stooped lower when a pair of feet propped themselves on her wings, sliding to her nape to draw her forehead to the ground. "Let's try this one more time. Who is your leader, female?"
"…You are, Lord Megatron, leader of the Decepticons…" the seeker dragged her sentence to a scratchy note, not going unnoticed by the owner of the feet, scuffing her shoulders to clean the soles underneath. Staring at the black helmet in front of him, Megatron smirked at the faceless seeker. "Look on the bright side Starscream, I'm only teaching you some humility," he chuckled further. "At least I didn't ask you to grovel and beg like you always do, or clean my feet with-…"
The tyrant drew back at the touch of blue slender fingers, curling around his calf. Without cue, the red jet crawled closer on all-fours, gently embracing her master's leg it as if her life depended on it. Megatron held his silence when her head drifted from his calf to peck his feet with her trembling lips.
"…May I have the key, my lord…(…please…)" she lingered as her leader whisked his foot away from her in revulsion of her current behaviour, and a cautionary step just in case she wanted to bite him. Starscream felt a slim wire fall around her neck, keeping her demeaning posture for his next command. "This collar around your neck will allow you get out of my sights, you pathetic worm."
"(…Yes my lord…)" her voice was almost inaudible, crushed beyond defeat and humiliation.
"Go find something useful to do, you simpering excuse for a Decepticon." He swivelled his chair away from the Transformer crouched like a rock. "You disgust me."
Starscream heavy feet shuffled to the door, her footsteps getting faster as she left the room. The tyrant almost missed Starscream's unneeded comments until she censured him with a mocking salute.
"PUTIRD SLAG FOR THOUGHT CIRCUITS!" she yelled.
Megatron would have made a powerful swivel-to-leap from his chair, if it didn't unscrew itself from the base and tripped the great Decepticon leader to the plated floor. No wonder the seeker was bowing for so long…
A/N: I wanted to write more, but I got tired. Ah, updates are slow, but there's so much text it slows down my brains (excluding the workload from my job) There were other plans for confining Starscream, but then the story might take a lame turn along the lines of:
"Having produced Megatron's sprog in a dinky prison after 25 billion vorns, Starscream got totally slagged beyond revival. THE END."
Yeeeap. I almost forgot, Starburst is a chewy sweet. I can't remember what it looks or taste's like, but if it's sugar-coated, I hate it.