Anything in italics is a thought.
Any scenes in bold is occurring at a different time (Flashback).
Enjoy!
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Christmas Carol
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Sirius Black entered the kitchen desperately looking for his son or any of his friends. There weren't many people present, which made finding Harry all that much easier and his eyes were soon going over him in concern. Despite it all, he managed to keep his distance, figuring that the two Weasley women, lots of Weasley kids and one worried Auror was enough of a hassle around them.
He was still able, though, from a distance to assure himself that nothing of great harm was done to his son nor to his friends, causing relief to flow over him.
Maybe I was too hasty in my conclusions.
His relief soon vanished when he felt eyes boring into him. Looking up he saw bright green eyes boring into his own. Mustering all the self control and will power he had, Sirius hardened his usually expressive grey eyes and took on an air of indifference. The complete opposite of what he had been second before.
Think of mother, think of mother, I couldn't care less about what happened… it is of not great consequence to me.
Harry was surprised to see such coldness in Sirius' eyes, especially since he thought he'd be the most concerned person there. Apparently he thought wrong.
When he saw Mrs. Weasley disappear off somewhere he felt his heart skip a beat and accelerate. He just knew that she had gone to get Dumbledore, and that would mean that Sirius wouldn't be too far behind, he didn't know if that was a positive or negative thing.
I'm just not ready yet! I don't know what to say or how to act or even how to approach the subject! I need more time to think!
Someone somewhere must have heard his plea because with the way Sirius was looking at him it wouldn't be possible to approach him for anything, much less such an intimate talk, even if he had wanted to.
Some Gryffindor I turned out to be…
A strange pain surged in his chest as he looked away from the cold expression on Sirius' face. It was different from the pain he was used to when he was hit by a curse or by a physical blow. Somehow, this pain hurt him more than anything else before and he had no idea what was causing it much less how to make it stop. He only knew that it hurt and hurt a lot to see his fa- to see Sirius looking at him that way.
He was distracted by his thoughts as more people suddenly entered the room, among the new arrivals he could identify Remus Lupin, Mad Eye Moody, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore.
"Ah, good to see that you are well Harry, would you mind telling us, how it is that you came to be injured inside the house?" Dumbledore asked with a small smile, his eyes twinkling with amusement as always. "This question is also directed to you Mr. Weasley and you Ms. Granger, as you were the only ones with Harry and might have seen something that he did not." He added when he noticed that he had their attention as well.
"I don't think they would have noticed anything that I didn't, Headmaster, because we were all looking at the same direction before we got…um…injured." Harry began, hesitating as he thought on how to explain the situation in a way that would not worry them uselessly.
"Attacked was more like it…" grumbled Ron as he massaged his head, where there was a slight swell.
"Attacked Mister Weasley?" Severus Snape questioned, being sharp enough to pick up the muttered complaint.
Harry couldn't help the gale he directed at his best friend.
I deliberately avoided using such a word because I don't want people fussing over me anymore this summer!
Before Snape, or anyone else, could get Ron to elaborate on his complaint Hermione intervened, offering her own explanation.
"We weren't attacked, per se…we simply encountered something that we were not expecting and not ready to deal with, giving the circumstances."
"Then what exactly did happen, Miss Granger? Vague words and descriptions are but a waste of our time." Severus snapped, obviously irritated by the way they were avoiding the subject.
"We were upstairs doing our chores for the day. A cupboard suddenly started shaking. We went to check it out and were attacked by a pixies who began to drop things on our head, hence our bumps and bruises." He suddenly blurted out, trying his best to sound believable.
"What a wonderful explanation Potter, I see that your communication skills are as good as always."
Before anyone else could comment on his short explanation, Dumbledore intervened again, "Could you go into more detail about what happened Harry? We would have known if there were any pixies hiding within the house."
"Sure Professor…umm…we were going about our chores as usual, cleaning, dusting and leaving the dangerous looking stuff for the adults when the cupboard suddenly started to shake. Hermione and I, being the closest were the first to reach it and having our wands at ready opened the door. The pixies suddenly came out, biting us and picking anything they could to throwing it at us. Ron tired to help in containing them, but they got to him too. One of the windows broke then and most of them flew away, leaving us to deal with a few remaining ones." He explained with a smile, hoping that it would be enough to satisfy them.
"So you want me to believe that the famous Golden Trio, who has survived various encounters with the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters were bested by some pixies?" Snape drawled in his favourite sarcastic tone of voice.
"We weren't expecting anything more than a simple Boggart!" Hermione said in their defence.
"What prevented you from simply shutting the door to the cupboard once you realised that pixies were emerging from it?" asked Professor McGonagall.
The three teens simply shrugged, figuring they didn't have a good enough answer for the questions.
Severus Snape looked at each student before turning to Albus Dumbledore, "Headmaster, it is clear that they are either lying or hiding something from us. If Potter and his friends wish to waste our time I shall be making my way back to Hogwarts"
"Harry, are you sure that there is nothing you wish to tell us?" He asked, looking acutely at the boy sitting down on the chair.
"No sir." He answered, doing his best not to look into those bright blue eyes.
"Very well, there is nothing more to do here then. Molly, I'm sure that they will be fine after resting a bit."
"I'll send them right up, Albus."
With that said, most of the adults left the room, going back to their meeting or to whatever they were doing before this.
OOOooo§oooOOO
Once Hermione was sure that they were going to be left alone in their room, she turned to Harry, her displeased expression clear on her stern face.
"Now Harry, I think you owe us an explanation."
"What do you mean, Hermione?" He asked, praying she would believe his innocent act.
"You can't fool us Harry James Potter! We just covered for you there. Why didn't you want to tell them the truth?" She hissed at him.
"The truth?" he repeated, "What truth? That the cupboard suddenly started moving by itself and attacked us? That the objects scattered around decided to follow its marvellous example and throw themselves at us? That they were thrown which such force that it was enough to nearly give Ron and I a concussion, bruise us at various part and injure your knee?"
"Yes! That truth!"
"They would never have believed us Hermione." He complained.
"But Harry, at least it would have put them on guard. Someone could have really attacked us!"
"Even if they did it would have probably caused them to investigate this mysterious happening and more restrictions when I bet it was nothing more than a spell we triggered while cleaning that dratted room." He replied, rapidly becoming annoyed at his friend.
"They do that to keep you alive!"
"Yea?! Like that helped at the Dursleys!" Harry shouted, snapping at his friend and making her pale slightly in return.
Not knowing how to respond to that, she turned to Ron for backup.
Squirming under her gaze, Ron finally said: "Sorry Hermione, but I have to agree with Harry here. They would just have made a big fuss over it for nothing and it's not like anyone can penetrate the wards around this house. You heard what they told us, it is protected by many spells, including the Fidelius charm."
"There! Now will you please stop annoying me?" not waiting for an answer, Harry turned, picked up a book and promptly forced himself to read the first few lines, ignoring the looks he knew his friends would be sending him.
However no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep the image of Sirius's cold and indifferent expression from his mind.
OOOooo§oooOOO
Grey eyes started at the darkness surrounding him, taking in everything and nothing at the same time. There were many lamps and torches available in case he had wanted to light the room he was in, but Sirius Black felt that the darkness was more becoming given his current mood.
Many hours had passed since their Order meeting had been interrupted. Many things have occurred, things that made the owner of these grey eyes think and worry.
Could there really be a traitor among us?
A couple days ago he wouldn't have given it a second thought, for the notion alone seemed to be anything if not impossible, but now…
OOOooo§oooOOO
As soon as they had left the kitchen, some Order members, him included, went to examine the room where the pixies has suddenly come from. They found it much as they expected too, the cupboard a couple of feet away from its usual position, various scattered objects around and a broken window. Their close examination yielded neither sign of dark magic nor any reason for suspicion and soon enough most of them had returned to their own chores.
He had remained. He grew up in that house, and much as it sickened him to admit it, he knew many things about it the most members did not. He knew, for example, that the conclusion that it was simply some leftover trap from the houses previous inhibitors was wrong. He also knew that there was no way for a window in this household to be easily broken, given the many times he had tried as a child.
No, something is not right with this situation.
Another careful search yielded nothing.
But if he wanted to leave me a warning, it wouldn't be in a place anyone could find it. He knows that he has my attention now… that nose-less bastard!
Leaning against a nearby wall he tried to think of a place that only he would know of, a place in the room where someone would be able to leave a message or clue for him.
An unexpected image came to his mind.
The shield! Behind the family shield of arms!
Jumping away from his spot, he quickly made his way to the fireplace, where directly above it was yet another engraved family shield. Sirius knew that there was a small place just behind it where someone might have hidden a clue, and he also knew that Regulus knew of it.
Just shifting the adorable family motto and right behind the- there!
His finger had found something, and taking it out from its hiding place he turned to look at it. In his hand was a small piece of parchment, where there, burnt crisply on the paper was the Dark Mark.
And so it begins again…
Crushing and burning that damned piece of evidence, he then proceeded to lock himself in his room and drown in his thoughts.
OOOooo§oooOOO
Just like last time, he taunts me, saying that no matter what I do or where I am he can still harm those I care for…
That thought alone sent chills of fear running down his spine and caused a fire to burn in his veins.
When Molly said that Harry had been attacked… I never felt such fear in my life, just the thought of losing him…caused a immense pain to grow within me…I can't lose him, I can't.
Running his hands through his hair, which he noted absently was getting rather long, he signed.
Yet again another friend betrays us, another of us has turned to the Dark side… and it can't be just anyone…
Memories of Azkaban came forth in his mind then, and how it caused his life to lose practically all its purpose and shine. How it has robbed him of most his emotions allowing him to feel nothing. He had felt no pity to those other prisoners who had willingly submitted themselves to Voldermort's twisted ways. He had felt no compassion knowing that any of them would easily exchange the life of his best friends to save their own. He had only felt anger.
Anger and fear…and to think that I thought Moony the traitor! Hah! Just because Peter was the weak and powerless one among us… just because he seemed innocent and harmless enough… Well, this time, I am not going to be so easily fooled. I will catch the traitor, no matter his talent, power of personality! I am going to find him and he willpay!
Feeling a slight pain, drawing him out of his thoughts, he noticed that his was clenching his fists with such strength he had punctured his skin.
Why can't things simply be less complex, less confusing? Why did things have to change?
"Padfoot?"
Looking up he found a concerned Remus standing just a few feet into his darkened room.
Is it just my imagination or does Moony seem slightly angry at something?
"Padfoot, what are you doing here in total darkness?"
Shrugging he answered, "Thinking."
I hate these doubts and 'what ifs'. I always prided myself in being sure of myself. I hate doubts! I loath this uncertainty!
"Padfoot!" Remus snapped, capturing his attention once more.
"I'm listening Moony, what do you want?" His voice sounded strange to his own ears, as if he was resigned… defeated.
But I'm not…am I?
"What did you think you think you were doing back in the kitchen? Do you have any idea how your little act hurt Harry?" He hissed, narrowing his eyes.
"Oh, is that what all this is about then?"
"Of course this is what it is all about!" Pausing enough to light the room Remus turned back to his friend and continued: "What else could it be? What the hell is wrong with you Padfoot? You're supposed to be doing your best to get Harry to trust you again not to push him away!"
"You just don't understand Moony –"
"Of course I understand! I was there remember? I heard all the things that Harry said, but you shouldn't push him away only for that. He is your son Padfoot!"
"I know that!" He screamed at him, standing up and glaring at his friend. "I know that he is my son! But right now I have more important things to worry about, if Harry wants answers to his questions you'll just have to be the one to give them!
"You have more important things to do?" Remus scoffed at him, "More important than your own son?"
"I can't afford to be seen with him! Not in the present situation! I'm trying to keep him alive Moony!" Something in his desperate tone of voice must have reached his friend, because he sagged down.
"What are you talking about Padfoot?"
Letting out a sigh in confusion and frustration, he began to pace around the room.
"I…Harry is not safe Moony… he–" He stopped; something seemed stuck on his throat, preventing him from continuing.
"Okay Padfoot, let's have this from the very beginning," the ever reasonable Remus said, "when did this start and what makes you think that Harry is in danger while here?"
OOOooo§oooOOO
Somewhere far away from Grimmauld Place a meeting was coming to an end.
"Next time Malfoy, make sssure you come back to me with sssomething more ssatissfying that thisss!"
"Yes my Lord, please forgive me." A black robed figure bowed humbly before the being sitting on the only chair in the room.
"Leave me."
Not needing to be told twice, Lucius Malfoy regally lifted from his position on the floor and gracefully made his way to the exit.
"Wormtail!"
"Yes Master?"
"How did our little… missssion go?"
"Very well Master, Black found the clue."
"Excellent." He hissed in pleasure, "Make sssure he understandssss that thiss was his lassst warning"
"Yes Master"
OOOooo§oooOOO
"Why didn't you tell Albus?"
Sirius snorted, Remus had the talent of asking the most bizarre questions after his most amazing revelations.
"What good would it have done? Short of locking both of us in separate rooms, there is nothing that he can do right now."
"Padfoot, you can't honestly think that Albus would be unable to do anything to help you?" Remus exclaimed, shocked.
"He might be able to do something, he might not. It doesn't really matter right now, he knows and he is going to do everything in his power to make sure I understand that no matter what I do or what I plan, I can't escape him…maybe I should just go willingly, that wa–"
He stopped talking, pain spreading through his face.
"Don't you dare to even think about that!" shouted Remus
"…Moony, weren't you supposed to be the level headed one between us? What's with all this punching?" Sirius complained, massaging his, once more, swollen jaw.
"Well, if you would just stop saying these absolutely ridiculous things maybe I wouldn't need to physically knock some sense into you so often!"
"But Moony think about it! It's the –"
"No! This is not up to discussion! You are not going to hand yourself over to Voldemort because you are too afraid to face the dangers! What's wrong with you Padfoot?! You're pushing your son away, acting no better than Snape, and now you are considering giving up?" Remus snarled, pacing back and forth in from of him. "What happened to the man I used to know what was willing to fight until his last breath for his friends? The man that defied his family to stand by his beliefs? What happened to the Sirius Black that would never give up without a fight?!"
"Everything happened! Voldemort happened! Life happened! How can you expect me to be able to fight when I know that in the end it will have all been in vain?! How can you expect me to hope and care only to have it ripped away from me again? I can't stand it Remus! I can't lose Harry!" Feeling empty all of the sudden, he collapsed back into his sitting position, covering his face with his hands.
Remus looked at his friend, finally understanding what has got him so troubled.
"You won't lose him Padfoot, you won't lose Harry. You want to know why? Because you'll be there to protect him should he find himself in danger, because you'll be there to support him when no one else will and because I'll be here to support you to make sure you don't fail"
What he said seemed to have an effect on his friend, his scent changed slightly but it still wasn't back to his normal self.
Lifting his head up from their resting position Sirius turned to his friend and asked, "What do you want me to do Moony? I just can't go talk to Harry right now… I'm too messed up… too lost to talk with him…"
"Do you love your son Padfoot?"
"Of course I love him!"
"Then go to him, tell him that for I am sure the right now he thinks you hate him. Don't think about what could have been and what could be, focus of strengthening your relationship with your son Padfoot, a son you never had the opportunity to really have. So what if Voldemort is after you? He'll just have to accept the fact that he can't have you! So what if he might target Harry? We'll make sure to foil his plans every step of the way, and when we can't we'll have to trust Harry to do the right thing, and you know what? The best way to do that is to give him something to come back to, something worth fighting for!" He looked deeply into his friends grey eyes as he said this, conveying how much he believed in what he was saying.
Sirius chuckled, "You always were too smart for your own good Moony"
Remus smiled, relieved that he had gotten through his friends thick skull, "well someone has to make sure you idiots didn't harm yourselves with your foolishness. Now, I think that you better get ready for you have some apologising to do and a long talk ahead of you."
He watched as Sirius stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Thanks, Remus" and Remus knew, even if for a moment, that everything would be fine in the end.
OOOooo§oooOOO
He didn't bother looking up when he heard the door to his room open, thinking it was probably Ron coming back to pick something up. Both his friends had decided, some time ago, to leave him alone a fact which he was very grateful for.
When he noticed that the person who entered didn't move nor did he leave the room soon after he started to become annoyed, however it was only when he felt the stare of this person on him that he decided he had enough and looked up.
At once he regretted his decision, for there, standing in front of the closed door, was Sirius.
My father…
The image of him as he was in the kitchen, his cold eyes staring at him popped in his mind and he looked away. He couldn't bear to see that same look there again.
The silence in the room seemed suffocating and it was all Harry could do not to squirm under Sirius' intense stare.
"…Harry."
Lifting his head, he looked back at his father.
He looks better…healthier and cleaner I suppose…
He noticed that his eyes held none of that cold indifference he saw in the kitchen, in it's place however stood something akin to sadness and regret.
"Harry…" Sirius repeated, making his way across the room towards where he was sitting.
Not knowing what do to, if he should answer, stay still or move away, he finally settled on remaining where he was. He was surprised when his father kneeled down in front of him and embraced him in what he could only describe as a hug.
A big and warm hug.
"I'm sorry." Sirius whispered, and Harry could feel the heavy emotion laced in his voice even before he felt the wetness on his cheek. "I'm so sorry…"
Shocked, he did the only think he could. He hugged his father back, afraid to ruin the moment by saying something inappropriate. Then, before his fears could prevent him, he heard himself whisper a response: "I' sorry too…" and felt a matching set of tears running down his face as he hugged his father back strongly.
He never knew how long they stood there; hugging each other and allowing their silent tears of sorrow and grief flow freely down their faces and out of their souls.
Frankly, he didn't care. He was with his father.
Yes…my father…my father! I have a father…
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Feedback is always appreciated.
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Again, I have to cut this chapter short because it was becoming too long for my tastes, although, do you guys mind if they do become rather long? It might not be possible for me to always keep breaking them into two like this… well, we shall see! Anyway, another reason to like Remus in this chapter, he is so adorable! (But Sirius still beats him P)
Behind the scenes with Heaven's Demon. No, she won't leave you alone.
[ The shield! Behind the family shield of arms!
Jumping away from his spot, he quickly made his way to the fireplace, where directly above it was yet another engraved family shield. Sirius knew that there was a small place just behind it where someone might have hidden a clue, and he also knew that Regulus knew of it.
Just shifting the adorable family motto and right behind the- there!
He felt something cold touch the tip of his finger's and quickly took it off the hiding place. His eyes became the size of tennis balls. That was the proof Voldemort had been there.
A nose.
What the… Oh, come on! That's gross!
He threw the inert piece of flesh on the ground, repulsed. So that's what happened to his nose.
I promise I'll never look for his clues again. I might find his hair. Or his eyebrows.
"Wait, wait!" Interrupted Hell's Angel. "Voldie, what the hell is your nose doing there! I can't believe you kept it in your pocket or something all this time! I told you to put a dark mark!"
"Of course it's not my nose. It came as a prize in my cereal box." He said rather matter-of-factly, eating a handful of cereal. "When I was young, I wanted to be a comical actor! Why do people never give me funny lines?" He pouted.
"Please, don't make me Avada Kedavra you. Now, AGAIN!"
Until next time,
Hells Angel & Heaven's Demon